2

living with your SO can be really awesome, or it can be really bad. only you can tell by the vibes you get from even thinking about it.

pro's:
- the first and last thing you see every day is your loved one.
- you really get to know them well
- are together a lot more
- sex just about anytime/anywhere you want

con's:
- you have to change your way of life to accomodate each other. a lot of people don't like change especially if they've been by themselves for a while
- feminine products in the trashcan
- you really get to know them well

my gf lives with me pretty much full time now. she still has her own condo a few miles up the road, but has moved some of her clothes and stuff to my place. we'll go spend the night up at hers every now and then, but since my place is a lot bigger and more accomodating for a couple, we tend to stay here

basically if you are having any doubts about it even while considering it, you probably already know what it will be like. if you're not going to be able to get over the toilet seat being left up, then you really need to think about this long and hard. i guarantee the toilet seat will be one of the most insignificant things on a long list of little annoyances that you can think of that absolutely infuriate you.

money can also be a major issue. before you move in together it needs to be decided on how you will divide up the expenses. Split everything down the middle on rent/utilities/groceries? In our case I pretty much take care of the utilities, and then whoever stops by the grocery store to get stuff pays for it. She tends to buy "nicer" foods than I do, so she probably spends more money on the groceries. I try to make up by paying for her dinners. If it really mattered, we could make sure to split everything 50/50, but honestly that's a pain and it can really put a strain on the relationship and be especially awkward if you're living together.

you also have to be able to communicate with each other. that's the only way it will work. girls usually don't have a problem telling you what's on their mind, but can get really pissy if they hear something that they don't want to.

all in all, living together is a wonderful thing as you take the relationship to the next level. it gives you a good flavor of what life *might* be like if you were to move further along towards marriage. I hate to be negative, but a lot of couples living together don't stay together for long. It happened to be before, and it's happened to a lot of my friends. Many of my friends have lost great friends after botched living arrangements.

good luck.

10/4/2007 10:39:07 PM

Some people still live by the "old fashioned" way of things and don't live together until their wedding day. Nothing wrong with that.

10/4/2007 10:39:09 PM

haha, I currently do, and I don't think my mom approves (due to religious bs). She likes her a lot, so I told her to pretty much get the fuck over it.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:43 PM. Reason : joe pretty much summed it all up]

10/4/2007 10:39:59 PM

Quote :

"- feminine products in the trashcan"

now is that a real problem?

10/4/2007 10:40:20 PM

absolutely

if she can bitch about the toilet seat, i can bitch about her stuff in the trashcan

10/4/2007 10:41:11 PM

^ when they are accompanied with a corresponding odor then yes

10/4/2007 10:41:41 PM

well, joe17669 is right....

a huge part of making living together work is ignoring the little shit and trying to accommodate the other person

10/4/2007 10:42:29 PM

^agreed.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:44 PM. Reason : .]

10/4/2007 10:44:14 PM

Pros: not having to sleep alone at night.
Cons: Having a girlfriend that shits with the door open, hearing them fart in their sleep, and morning breath.

10/4/2007 10:46:52 PM

mourning breath

10/4/2007 10:47:21 PM

we shit with the doors closed, but pissing is fair game. and is showering

10/4/2007 10:47:55 PM

I ain't gonna deny the farting, but I have stopped shitting with the door open.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:48 PM. Reason : nm, you mean sleep alone IN THE HOUSE...]

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:51 PM. Reason : ]

10/4/2007 10:48:05 PM

10/4/2007 10:48:48 PM

10/4/2007 10:49:09 PM

i just threw up in my mouth a lot

10/4/2007 10:50:58 PM

lol couple fight

Quote :

" money can also be a major issue. before you move in together it needs to be decided on how you will divide up the expenses. Split everything down the middle on rent/utilities/groceries? In our case I pretty much take care of the utilities, and then whoever stops by the grocery store to get stuff pays for it. She tends to buy "nicer" foods than I do, so she probably spends more money on the groceries. I try to make up by paying for her dinners. If it really mattered, we could make sure to split everything 50/50, but honestly that's a pain and it can really put a strain on the relationship and be especially awkward if you're living together."

Great point.

And once again, I DO NOT MIND THE TOILET SEAT BEING UP...I DO mind it being covered in cat hair and boy stuffs. lol...separate bathrooms FTW?

10/4/2007 10:51:18 PM

no fight, just clarification

10/4/2007 10:52:21 PM

Btw, bethaleigh is posting from the shitter right now,


with the door open.

10/4/2007 10:53:01 PM

separate bathrooms FTW indeed

10/4/2007 10:53:19 PM

This thread just got hilarious.

10/4/2007 10:53:21 PM

please to open a window and strike a match

10/4/2007 10:55:21 PM

Lucky1, do you want to fight with me now? I'll come shit on your pillow, and have Grits fart on you.


Another thing! If you do have separate bedrooms, and you decide to sleep separately one night...

THERE WILL BE A FIGHT OVER WHO THE CAT WILL SLEEP WITH!!!!!

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:56 PM. Reason : ]

10/4/2007 10:55:54 PM

10/4/2007 10:56:26 PM

Bethaleigh would win, hands....er...pants down.

10/4/2007 10:57:06 PM

10/4/2007 10:57:28 PM

good god! what the fuck did you eat today?!!! that sounds horrible!!!

10/4/2007 10:58:18 PM

Do i need to get bill over there to get you chirrun under control???

10/4/2007 11:01:12 PM

IT WAS GRITS!!! (the cat, not the food)

He just blew up the bathroom, and I had ot leave it... I am shitting in your pillowcase now!

^

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 11:01 PM. Reason : ]

10/4/2007 11:01:22 PM

hahahaha. I 'm not so sure if lighting a match would be a good idea anymore.....the house might blow up.

Where do you guys live BTW?

10/4/2007 11:01:59 PM

ON A CHICKUN FARM LOL

10/4/2007 11:02:31 PM

Quote :

"how different is if you already pretty much live together?"

It's A LOT different. You have your own place to go back to when you stay at his place and vice versa. Also, the money can be an issue. Do make sure that you settle who pays what before you move in together. You are also going to notice more little things that get on your nerves, so be prepared for that. Stuff like not loading the dishwasher, not cleaning up messes, or even putting things where you don't put them in your apartment can lead to an argument. Of course those are just examples, but I guarantee you're going to notice things that one of you does that the other one doesn't like and more than likely it will lead to some sort of conversation. This can definitely become an issue if one of you is neater and cleaner than the other. Make sure you work those things out too. I wouldn't necessarily say that arguing is going to increase. However, more disagreements will occur because you will obviously be around each other more than you ever have, and it's just a natural part of the process of learning another person. The way you handle those disagreements will determine if A) you argue all the time and stay mad at one another and B) if your relationship lasts. Good luck!

10/4/2007 11:03:45 PM

ATTN: Lucky1

Plz to quit listening ot my bowel movements, you fa-reek!

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 11:31 PM. Reason : ]

10/4/2007 11:04:38 PM

presenting....

Cassie in her (old)bathroom with her door open:







[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 11:07 PM. Reason : ahah]

10/4/2007 11:07:38 PM

^^^I can see how it would be annoying. I was irritated with him a few weeks ago because I cleaned his apartment because it was driving me nuts and he was too busy to clean and then it got messed up a day or so later. I told him I didn't like it and we picked up stuff together and that was that....but yeah, I can see how it might be annoying.

^^hahaha...chickens?

He was the one to ask me about it....kinda nonchalantly. I'm still not sure what I think but the advice helps.


Ahh Chris, you can see half my ass cheek in that picture. I made a thread about toilet top pictures after a certain toilet incident with a girl wolfwebber.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 11:09 PM. Reason : haha I bet you will never forget that bathroom.]

10/4/2007 11:07:51 PM

PROS:
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL
SWEET
LOVING
FUN
SMART
WITTY

CONS:
she reads what i write on here

10/4/2007 11:09:18 PM

^ win.

10/4/2007 11:11:09 PM

Quote :

"I always said I would never do it and it's still something I'm against. I know I'm just frustrated with the selection of 1 bedrooms for rent and he's going through the same thing....."

You know, when you posted the other day about how you both were looking for one bedrooms in the same complex I was wondering about this......it makes no sense whatsoever to move in the same complex as your SO and have different apts.

It does not give you any privacy, you will end up sharing keys with each other, and when you argue you will not be able to get away from the other person. Why not just suck it up and get an apt together?


My recommendation to you would be to get the apartment in your name and all of the utilities in your name. (or have him do it if you would rather not) That way if things don't work out between the two of you, you will not have to go through a Jr. divorce and deal with all of the issues with a shared lease, bills, etc etc.

My gf moved in with me last fall (in the town home I own) and I really could not be happier. I mean if you look over the last 90 days and can hardly find any nights you have not slept in the same bed as your SO then you are pretty much living together now. It saves a ton of money to live together and kind of challenges you to work through issues that may arise since you can't just leave to cool off.

I would not recommend it with anyone that you don't truly love and trust but if you and that person are meant to get along then living together will not ruin your relationship.

10/4/2007 11:11:21 PM

^^^awww. My bf has my password and reads my stuff sometimes.

^Aww Cute. Yeah, we're just kinda feeling the idea out.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 11:13 PM. Reason : ^]

10/4/2007 11:11:57 PM

Quote :

"Cons: Having a girlfriend that shits with the door open"

10/4/2007 11:20:06 PM

Quote :

"Con: If you fight, you don't have your house to go back to. You have to either fight it out or let it go."

i.e., pro: you handle shit better

Quote :

"I live with my boyfriend and I love it best decision ever"

Quote :

"How come? What makes it great?"

Convenience, logistics (especially when only one of you has a car, like us at first), cuddling, taking care of him. For us, it has ended up being confirmation that we do, in fact, want to be together until one of us croaks.

Quote :

"I suggest that you make a pact to stay open about things that bug you... even if it seems like nagging. "

This really is a good suggestion. We didn't get any advice (end of the school year, I lived in WV, didn't wanna live with my folks, and before I got to looking at apartments, he said "come live with me". We discussed the logistics of him living in Garner, and me not having a car, and that was that. I asked my dad if he'd object, then I started moving) before we moved in together.

Because I'm messy, and he's not (but I'm clean, and he's not. There is a difference!), we've gone head to head repeatedly. Things have more or less finally worked themselves out (after 15 months) with respect to housekeeping, and damn near everything else.

Quote :

"Just keep yourself financially stable enough that you could move out JUST IN CASE something does happen."

Quoted for emphasis.

Money is an important consideration. Make sure it's absolutely clear, and if either of you is uptight about money, that needs to be addressed. My bf literally makes 10-20x/yr more than I do. The agreement is that I buy groceries, cook, and clean, and don't pay rent. I've gotten the better end of this deal, so I try to even it out by conserving as much as possible (down to drying clothes outside in the summer), and saving his money whenever anything is bought. About once a month, I took a look at our expenditures, and decide whether we ought to change anything, and what. We're not to the point where we have a joint account, and may never be, but I've definitely said "Now, I know that your money isn't mine, but...[insert future goal, suggestion, or item]". He knows I'm a tightwad, so when I talk money, he listens.

Quote :

"a huge part of making living together work is ignoring the little shit and trying to accommodate the other person"

Basically: are you REALLY gonna love them in spite of everything? Living together magnifies not just the bad, but the good. And that's


Cassie, you've seen our place, and you've seen a tiny bit of how we interact. What I saw of your man, I approve (shit...he likes my cookies )

...It is a lot different, though, living in a house he owns, than in an apartment. I suspect things wouldn't be very different, but I know for a fact that
1) I wouldn't have my cat <3
2) We'd be even shorter on closet space
3) We'd be a little more high-strung (an open yard for the dog, a relatively painless commute, and the extra square footage all are very nice)

10/4/2007 11:29:37 PM

Quote :

"Basically: are you REALLY gonna love them in spite of everything? Living together magnifies not just the bad, but the good. And that's Cassie, you've seen our place, and you've seen a tiny bit of how we interact. What I saw of your man, I approve (shit...he likes my cookies )"

hahahaha....Aww bravo advice.
and you guys are so cute...He just grabbed up the tv and carried it out....no nagging needed...He stopped watching the game, got up, helped you, the end. That was really sweet. J will do things like that for me. If I'm taking medicine, he goes and gets a glass of water before I even have to ask. He deals with my early alarms. anyhow, not going to make people vomit but it is comforting to be around him. He loved the cookies as did I...We chowed on them bitches all the way home.

10/4/2007 11:35:01 PM

Yeah, he's a keeper

10/4/2007 11:37:09 PM

Quote :

"shit...he likes my cookies "

but does he like your milkshake?

10/4/2007 11:39:37 PM

/message_topic.aspx?topic=448398

10/4/2007 11:45:43 PM

^^ My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

10/5/2007 6:28:00 PM

I think moving in together with my SO was a great move. We had spent some time hanging out a lot at each others place. This was back on campus, and then we got our first apartment together. I think moving in together at a new place, instead of trying to fit one person’s lifestyle into another person place made sense in having a balanced and new experience.

Then again I did get a little bit of a crash course with being roommates on campus before the apartment stuff, starting with a summer session, so it wasn’t a long term commitment necessarily, and knowing for sure we’d move out at the end of the session regardless of how things went. Been together nearly 5 years now.

Try to make a rational decision about this, but also an enjoyable one. You need some excitement and sense of adventure at first just to get over the hurtles of a move, and learning to live together. It really can be a lot of fun.

10/5/2007 9:43:32 PM

Not reading all that bullshit. Just don't do it.

10/6/2007 9:19:28 AM

Quote :

"- feminine products in the trashcan""

I don't have a gf or even live with girls, but I get this all the time....unless you only have guys over at your house, its eventually going to happen. I wouldn't call it a con at all.

10/6/2007 10:10:19 AM

While living together one or both of you is going to get so sick that you are barfing, and shitting yourself stupid and look absolutely disgusting, so absolutely disgusting that you would not dare let the other see you during the dating phase. You can hang any barriers like that up when you are living together.

If you want to be with someone at their best you better be willing to love them when they are at their worst.

10/6/2007 10:13:45 AM

Quote :

"Toilet seat"

I always thought it was completely moronic that people got upset about that- absolutely pathetic even.

10/6/2007 10:18:49 AM