Now Hiring: *

submitted by qntmfred on Sunday, April 1 2012 at 1:51 PM

It has recently become increasingly clear to me that I no longer have the capacity to adequately fulfill my obligations and responsibilities to this community. And with the imminent birth of my third child it seems in the best interest of everyone that I step down from my duties and make way for a new generation of TWW leadership. This morning, the moderators unanimously accepted my resignation. As such, the following positions are now available:

Chief Executive Officer
Technology Visionary
Ethics Committee Chair
Moderator Training Liaison
General Counsel
Assistant (to the) Advertising and Marketing Director
Benefits Coordinator
Executive Administrative Assistant to the Chief Executive Officer
Mailroom Clerk
Party Planning Committee Chair
Greeter

It has been a pleasure serving you. Stay tuned in the coming weeks for an announcement on my replacement(s).

TL;DR Happy Birthday TWW - you're getting a new staff.

...Seriously

posted by qntmfred on Sunday, April 1 2012 at 1:51 PM

1st

4/1/2012 1:53:41 PM

Dibs on mailroom clerk. Everyone knows that's where the true power lies.

4/1/2012 1:56:45 PM

How can you have an "Assistant (to the) Advertising and Marketing Director" without also having an Advertising and Marketing Director?

4/1/2012 1:56:47 PM

Easy. Volume.

4/1/2012 1:59:07 PM

Can you give some insight on what compensation will be like? This will greatly influence my decision on what to apply for. I'd settle for Mailroom Clerk for $40k a year.

4/1/2012 2:14:13 PM

posted by qntmfred on Sunday, April 1 at 1:51 PM

[Edited on April 1, 2012 at 2:18 PM. Reason : .]

4/1/2012 2:18:28 PM

DIBS GREETER

4/1/2012 2:27:22 PM

4/1/2012 2:29:10 PM

Quote :

"skywalkr posted by qntmfred on Sunday, April 1 at 1:51 PM "

4/1/2012 2:39:16 PM

http://youtu.be/QdYQvMYWP5k

4/1/2012 2:42:40 PM

Quote :

"you're getting a new staff"

Don't tell DivaBaby19.

4/1/2012 2:44:37 PM

I call General Counsel.

4/1/2012 2:52:50 PM

April Fools yo.

4/1/2012 3:49:45 PM

Oh my gosh! You don't say?!

But what actually IS interesting is that qntmfred posted this news item 12 years to the minute after the supposed ideation of TDub! site_site.aspx GG.

4/1/2012 3:52:55 PM

Tww has been a joke this entire time

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

4/1/2012 4:36:25 PM

i got ethics chair

4/1/2012 5:13:54 PM

didn't we do this (or some variation of it) last year for april fools?

4/1/2012 6:01:31 PM

i'll do whichever job gets me access to all the TWW n00ds

4/1/2012 6:09:47 PM

It is an honor and a pleasure to accept the nomination and subsequent role as TWW's Chief Executive Officer. As such, I pledge to make our house a home for all those who choose to reside here. TWW is a place for the people, not those who merely seek power over others.

4/1/2012 10:57:19 PM

I think the new owner should have to be approved unanimously by the Users

4/1/2012 11:06:08 PM

Quote :

"Don't tell DivaBaby19."

what's this mean?!?!?!

4/1/2012 11:31:45 PM

4/2/2012 9:43:46 AM

what is the asterisk for?

4/2/2012 10:59:20 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asterisk#Computer_interfaces

Quote :

"the asterisk is the wildcard character and stands for any string of characters."

4/2/2012 11:35:20 AM

%

4/2/2012 12:45:09 PM

we'll first need to move the island

4/2/2012 1:43:42 PM

I should be the greeter: I'm one of the nicest motherfuckers on here

4/2/2012 2:50:35 PM

Greeter, I have walmart references


or mailroom clerk as long as I can use the mailroom as I see fit

4/3/2012 2:40:22 PM

Maybe the role of General Counsel would be more fitting for me. As long as it comes with moderatorship.

4/3/2012 4:10:49 PM

So this is why you wouldn't make me a mod...

You sandbaggin son of a bitch!

4/4/2012 11:09:44 PM

4/6/2012 10:52:52 PM

Are we all getting old and having kids?...........

4/8/2012 1:46:38 PM

do any of these jobs come with the perk of making sweet music with punchmonk?

4/8/2012 4:54:16 PM