Bump when you want to remind someone to never ever call the cops.

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9/21/2017 8:11:47 AM

What if I want to be shot under sketchy circumstances? Can I call them then?

9/21/2017 8:17:16 AM

Absolutely not. Odds are they'll shoot some completely unrelated child or disabled person instead. Never ever call the cops.

[Edited on September 21, 2017 at 8:26 AM. Reason : terms are important]

9/21/2017 8:26:29 AM

I called the cops yesterday because I got locked out of my truck. They came to the rescue and were very polite. I am white though.

9/21/2017 8:31:20 AM

828-HAIR

9/21/2017 8:32:24 AM

i called the cops when i saw a guy kick in my neighbor's door. Should I have just minded my own business?

9/21/2017 8:34:32 AM

Did the cops show up in time to stop the guy from doing whatever he was doing?

Assuming he stole something, did the cops get it back?

Do you have any idea whether anything happened, for good or ill?

Never ever call the cops.

9/21/2017 8:46:24 AM

i called the cops when a lady crossed the center line and totaled my truck. what should i have done?

9/21/2017 9:02:59 AM

If anyone is injured, call 911. Otherwise, call your insurance company. If you don't have insurance, suck the nearest fucking dick for all I care. Never ever call the cops.

9/21/2017 9:09:52 AM

I mean just walk away, for God's sake. Just walk right into the nearest creek and die. You'd be better off. We'd all be better off if we all just walked into the creek. Walk into the creek. Don't call the cops.

9/21/2017 9:11:39 AM

9/21/2017 9:20:43 AM

what if we're prank calling the cops?

9/21/2017 9:22:07 AM

what if I have a structured settlement but need cash now?

9/21/2017 9:35:47 AM

In that scenario, your premiums will never increase and your benefits will never decrease...due to age.

9/21/2017 10:16:15 AM

Quote :

"Did the cops show up in time to stop the guy from doing whatever he was doing? Assuming he stole something, did the cops get it back? Do you have any idea whether anything happened, for good or ill?"

Yes, the cops showed up as he was walking out with an arms load of stolen property. He ran, tried to jump a fence, and the cops arrested him on the other side after he fell and injured himself.

9/21/2017 10:25:07 AM

did they kick him in the penis?

9/21/2017 10:40:41 AM

acab

9/21/2017 6:47:33 PM

My friend was coming home from work, and as he pulled into his driveway, he noticed that his front door was ajar. Acting out of pure caution, he phoned the cops and requested a squad car to come over to at least walk him into his house. They obliged, and a squad car showed up in about 5 minutes. My friend met them in the driveway, and explained the situation to them. The two police officers just looked at each other, and then one of them shot my friend in the foot. Then the cops left.

dicks

9/21/2017 6:54:01 PM

Im watching a man with a hello Kitty backpack follow children around a park and exposing himself. Should I call?

[Edited on September 21, 2017 at 7:12 PM. Reason : .]

9/21/2017 7:11:23 PM

^^,^



We've had a ton of construction on the parcel next to us for the like the last 2 months. When they were first grading the area and laying a giant concrete pad they were working close to 24 hours a day (the site is in a giant parking light with street lights so the lighting is decent enough to smooth concrete). One night, at like 4am, there were just a ton of backup alarms from the equipment *beep beep beep* I turn the fan in our bedroom on high and don't notice, my wife gets up and goes downstairs to read/watch TV and try to fall asleep again. Eventually she calls the police to file a noise complaint.

the next morning:

Her: Well, I ended up calling the sheriff, construction at 4am is ridiculous
Me: Why the fuck would you call the police?
Her: *long rant about how crazy it is to be making that much noise that early in the morning*
......
Me: Still though.........

[Edited on September 21, 2017 at 7:21 PM. Reason : arrows]

9/21/2017 7:21:33 PM

bad boys bad boys

watcha gonna deeew

9/21/2017 7:40:18 PM

fuck the police

9/21/2017 7:40:26 PM

Yeah, v if nobody called the cops, COPS would not be an entertaining television show, and I couldn't live life like that.

9/21/2017 8:23:30 PM

Fuck tha police. I'm coming straight out of Compton.

9/21/2017 10:18:56 PM

5^

You were right because the cops didn't do a damn thing.

Our neighbor got the project manager's cell phone number through her various connections and called him every morning at 2, 3, 4am for a few weeks until it stopped. If anyone cared how that turned out.

9/23/2017 11:33:47 AM

should have signed up his cell phone for info on refinancing, new cars, life insurance, and viagra

9/23/2017 1:05:52 PM

I just called the cops on this thread

9/23/2017 1:16:25 PM

I call them po po

9/23/2017 1:21:50 PM

9/23/2017 1:51:56 PM

I called cops to report when my house and business was burglarized.


I do not call them to report parties, loitering, domestic disputes, suspected drug activity, or anything else that does not concern me.

9/23/2017 10:23:01 PM

9/23/2017 11:40:24 PM

I once witnessed a cop ask a guy whose car was broken into, why he "left his window down" when it had clearly been smashed.

9/24/2017 6:44:36 AM

FASCISTS! ....right?

9/24/2017 8:57:54 AM

I saw a purse and wallet on the ground, clearly stolen, as the contents were scattered but no cards or cash to be found. I pick them up and see a prescription bottle and a name. "I think to myself, I'll find this person online and let them know I found their stuff."

Walk a little further, see a car with a busted window that this stuff clearly came out of.

Call police to report break in. They tell me because it's not my car they can't file and report and won't come out. This is 911, because the actual police number went to voicemail.

TL;DR
thread checks out

9/24/2017 11:02:03 AM

Quote :

"I once witnessed a cop ask a guy whose car was broken into, why he "left his window down" when it had clearly been smashed."

See, if I was a cop I would make sarcastic remarks like that constantly.

9/24/2017 12:09:44 PM

I'm going to call the cops daily just to spite this thread

9/24/2017 3:53:34 PM

https://i.imgur.com/3HYNNGz.gifv

[Edited on September 24, 2017 at 9:54 PM. Reason : just leave them be]

9/24/2017 9:53:40 PM

I'm not sure what's going on there

9/24/2017 10:06:25 PM

Better with sound https://streamable.com/8zpch

9/25/2017 7:01:07 AM

justinh524 said:

Quote :

"what if we're prank calling the cops?"

You may call individual policemen on their personal phones for the express purpose of pranking, but you should neither report an incident nor summon them.

NCSUGimp said:

Quote :

"what if I have a structured settlement but need cash now?"

Then you need J.G. Wentworth: message_topic.aspx?topic=622724

PaulISdead said:

Quote :

"Im watching a man with a hello Kitty backpack follow children around a park and exposing himself. Should I call?"

Never, ever call the cops, especially just because you're watching yourself on video.

Fermat said:

Quote :

"FASCISTS! ....right?"

There's an argument to be made that the concept of policing is not inherently fascist. And from my perspective, the police are a tool that plutocrats created to protect their property and social interests.

I honestly don't think dyed-in-the-wool fascists who favor strong national government have an interest in tolerating autonomous state & local police forces.

Are individual police officers fascists? Certainly at least a few. I don't think anyone would deny that. Police culture lends itself to fascist modes of thought: us against them, we have to stick together, the thin blue line.

9/25/2017 7:27:59 AM

my college roommates' girlfriend (they didn't drink/party) called the cops on us one night for a party at our apartment. they were trying to sleep and we were outside playing being loud and drunk. which at the time pissed us all off, but i gotta admit...it takes some real balls to call the cops to file a noise complaint for your own apartment.

9/25/2017 9:08:55 AM

That's gotta be the definition of a party pooper

9/25/2017 9:15:03 AM

I've called the cops a couple times in my day.

When I lived on Brent I called them on a house party next door....but it was a fucking Wednesday night in the middle of summer. I had to work the next day and in my defense I didn't call them till after 3am or so; they had actually woke me up about one with the noise.

Not so much in my defense I had actually been invited to the party by one of the chicks I worked with.

Fast forward to the end of that summer and I ended up boning her for about a year and a half.

9/25/2017 10:05:36 AM

Quote :

"Yeah, v if nobody called the cops, COPS Live PD would not be an entertaining television show, and I couldn't live life like that."

9/25/2017 10:20:18 AM

I think I have called the cops twice once because some group of drunks turned over the drink machine at my apartment then proceeded to get in their car and meander out of the lot without hitting anything... they eventually came back while the cops were still there still driving drunk and I assume got arrested. The second time was some guy driving all over the place on I-40 toward wilmington in the middle of the day obviously hammered out of his mind. He was so erratic I couldn't risk just going around him so I followed him with cops on the phone until he got off the highway. I didnt bother following him anymore just let the cops know what exit he took and kept on my way.

[Edited on September 25, 2017 at 10:21 AM. Reason : .]

9/25/2017 10:21:01 AM

Quote :

"I ended up boning her for about a year and a half."

Whisky dick from hell

9/25/2017 7:02:26 PM

If you see something,

9/25/2017 7:10:36 PM

^^ haha that made me laugh

9/26/2017 10:03:25 AM

time for a good bump

6/4/2020 2:00:51 PM

Quote :

"the police are a tool that plutocrats created to protect their property and social interests."

Quote :

"Police culture lends itself to fascist modes of thought"

"Hi, Metro 911. Do you need Police, Fire, or EMS?"

"I believe I need poison control, but send EMS too, just in case. My friend is acting very strange."

"Sir, do you have any idea what he ingested?"

"It appears that he DRANK THE KOOLAID, sir!"



[Edited on January 7, 2023 at 8:38 AM. Reason : .]

1/7/2023 8:36:57 AM