7/1/2017 1:49:16 PM

What's with the creepy guy? Are you marrying a high schooler and that's why you scribbled on each other?

7/1/2017 2:04:05 PM

oh that's my dad. it's genetic.

7/1/2017 2:04:42 PM

Yeah, is this that 18 year old?

7/1/2017 2:06:50 PM

these photos just scream creepy. It is really cool. I want to be there and get fucked in the ass.

7/1/2017 3:55:47 PM

congrats, and good luck!

7/1/2017 4:05:04 PM

Congrads

7/1/2017 5:06:01 PM

Congrats Smath!

7/1/2017 5:28:31 PM

gratulationes

7/1/2017 6:11:55 PM

Thanks y'all. Nah she is my age.

7/1/2017 6:34:04 PM

Is that the chick that pissed in front of you in the parking lot?

7/1/2017 7:37:10 PM

Did she need insurance?

7/1/2017 7:56:26 PM

Does she know that kids hide under your house?

7/1/2017 8:46:13 PM

does she like math, if so, you two have that in common

7/3/2017 12:51:36 AM

she has nice pits

7/3/2017 7:05:07 AM

how is it you like pits but not feet tho

7/3/2017 7:17:31 AM

we are awesome. omg.

7/14/2017 10:25:00 AM

this seems rushed into.

7/14/2017 10:51:39 AM

gg smath. may she have less baggage than ye.

7/14/2017 1:52:10 PM

Did you drive off in the Beetle with the SMATH license plate?

7/14/2017 2:53:15 PM

come on man. that was a ford escort! havent had that thing in years. i drive a tank volvo now.

7/17/2017 11:56:05 AM

best tinder date ever! our first date lasted 11 days.

22yo is doing tv stuff in california now but she gives me support in it.

7/17/2017 12:00:13 PM

she wrote me a poem. she loves me for me. all baggage life experiences included. she is wonderful.

7/17/2017 12:04:02 PM

I wish I understood any of Smath's posts.

7/17/2017 12:28:51 PM

Drunk at noon on a weekday in the summer? Yep, definitely a teacher.

7/17/2017 1:43:28 PM

Quote :

"tv stuff in california"

7/17/2017 2:35:09 PM

Allow me to help you make sense of, like, easily 40% of Smath threads. I know 40% isn't even the majority, but trust me, it will help. Here is how you make one of these threads.

Think of something that happened to you recently, probably something involving a woman. Construct a narrative about the event in the way that a reasonable person would, as if you were going to tell the story to a friend or classmate or co-worker asking what you did this weekend.

Alternatively, when you're having a conversation with someone and you feel the urge to add something relevant, save that contribution so you can post it to the Wolf Web later divorced from all context and relevance. Ideally, this contribution also involves a woman.

Now, whatever the nature of this experience, boil it down to about four or five sentences. It's crucial that you not actually communicate your narrative in these sentences. Ideally, they describe a simple action or two, and the rest of the sentences add somewhat irrelevant details about the age and interests of the woman in question.

By way of illustrating this concept, consider a hypothetical conversation Smath has in the teacher's lounge:

Teacher: You see that new Spider-Man movie?

Smath: Yeah, I went with that girl from my kickball team.

Teacher: What'd you think?

Smath: I liked what I saw, but I only got about an hour into it, because the projector died.

Teacher: Oh, that sucks! Did you get a refund?

Smath: They gave everyone passes. I might go see something else. We just went to Lynnwood and had a beer after.

Teacher: I thought it was pretty good. It was way better than the Andrew Garfield ones.

Smath: I still like the Tobey Maguire movies.

Teacher: Yeah, they're pretty good. Except that third one.

Now, let's boil this down to a handful of sentences.

1. I took a date to the movies.
2. We went to see the new Spider-Man movie.
3. The projector died before the movie ended.
4. The manager gave everyone free passes.
5. We had beers afterwards.

Now, pepper that note about the girl being on your kickball team back in, because that shit is choice. You can most easily do this by assigning her an epithet, like "kickball girl." You're almost ready to post to the Wolf Web. The last thing you need to do is to type all this out longhand, jamming as much of the first sentence into the subject as you can:

Quote :

"I took kickball girl to see the new Spider-Man mov ie. The projector broke an hour into it. The manager gave us a free pass. We went to Lynnwood for beers instead."

Essentially, what you're going for is a clean break between the idea you're trying to communicate and any sort of context that would help your audience understand that idea. The workmanlike expression of fact should be sufficient to make yourself understood, but it's important to include detail--not necessarily salient detail, but detail--in order to really sell your experience as something that happened in reality.

7/17/2017 2:41:38 PM

Is he still a teacher? Unless you teach children who are too young to use the internet to sleuth, I cannot imagine this crazy pants posting flying under the radar.

7/17/2017 2:45:19 PM

i mean what are the odds

7/17/2017 2:48:24 PM

I mean I work at school that houses K through 8th grade and I have middle schoolers sending me friend requests on FB, Instagram, SnapChat, etc. If those kids live under Smath's house, they're bound to be on TWW at this point.

7/17/2017 2:51:37 PM

pretty sure there aren't any kids

7/17/2017 2:53:11 PM

Quote :

"If those kids live under Smath's house, they're bound to be on TWW at this point."

STOP LURKING AND POST YOU LITTLE ASSHOLES

7/17/2017 3:06:42 PM

They're screen grabbing everything he posts and sharing it with the entire school.

7/17/2017 3:17:21 PM

i'm very confident and happy about my wife. she is able to wield a pen for poetry or a wrench for building things. she is beautiful. she is smart. she is wise. we are happy.

7/24/2017 10:41:29 AM

7/24/2017 11:06:53 AM

Wait, you already got married again?

7/24/2017 11:24:56 AM

yup

7/26/2017 4:22:25 PM

Are you wearing a polo shirt with a camouflage hat? wtf

Let me guess, you have cargo shorts and flip flops on too dont you, you fuck

7/26/2017 5:10:09 PM

Jeans and boots. With my Polo shirt and camo work hat. But why are you so concerned with what a guy you don't know wears?

7/27/2017 1:38:44 PM

i had a pretty great post here, bump

6/30/2020 3:45:47 PM

not as great as BanjoMan's post

6/30/2020 3:53:16 PM

3 year anniversary in a few days

6/30/2020 6:56:02 PM

Never forget the vicariosity of those mania posts

6/30/2020 7:30:49 PM

How are the kids under your house?

6/30/2020 7:48:27 PM

^^^^^it honestly isn’t that bad in retrospect

7/1/2020 12:47:49 AM

happy anniversary dawg

7/1/2020 9:19:24 AM

Congrats on 3 years of holy matrimony. How many kids do you have?

7/1/2020 1:28:27 PM

2 but none under the house

7/2/2020 8:06:55 PM

bump

7/26/2020 9:43:29 PM

Going well <3 (yes i made a self depreciating thread... and frosh... you helped me see my pattern to make fun of lol)

7/27/2020 5:14:11 PM