I am battling something that I would like to talk about. Any takers?

5/25/2017 4:49:31 PM

sup

5/25/2017 4:56:04 PM

No it's not normal for erection to last more than 4 hours

5/25/2017 4:56:48 PM

Lucky for me, I air out my dirty laundry.

Yes, I came abroad to Europe and my wife ended up getting a job and a new bf. She has decided to stay here, and in all honesty, actually appears to be happier here than in the US. So, in that respect I am happy for her.

The problem is that our son is also here, doing well in school and, like all 4 year old boys, absolutely loves his mother. I would never think about taking him away from her regardless of how much she has hurt me with her affair and fun with the european men.

The reality is that my job and the pay is horrible compared to what I could get (and have been offered) in the US, and I actually like the South and have friends and family that I dearly miss.

I want to move back but am torn, because I will basically be giving my son away to the new bf, and will more than likely have to send about 800 bucks a month over here in child support so that she can live with him in what previously use to be my apartment.

What should I do?

5/25/2017 5:06:34 PM

fuck that noise. get your kid and come back to the states. from what i remember, your wife is crazy. make sure the kid will have a better life with you.

5/25/2017 5:10:48 PM

crazy but a good mom.

Trust me, I had a terrible mom. She never showed up to any of my graduations and never came to visit my son since his birth.

Good mothers are hard to find.

5/25/2017 5:13:03 PM

^^this. of course your kid loves his mom. he is a kid. but if you are the more suitable parent you should do what's best for your child.

^she sounds like not a very good mother to me though from what you have posted.

[Edited on May 25, 2017 at 5:14 PM. Reason : ]

5/25/2017 5:13:37 PM

if she had an affair, sue her for divorce and use that money to pay the child support

5/25/2017 5:14:51 PM

don't see how that is gonna help me with visitation time.

5/25/2017 5:20:26 PM

This sort of thing is above my pay grade and experience. Good luck.

5/25/2017 5:22:50 PM

how much visitation time are you expecting if you live 4000 miles away

i'm just saying if you're the victim of marital impropriety, that can probably be spun into less financial responsibility if you move away

[Edited on May 25, 2017 at 5:24 PM. Reason : 3]

5/25/2017 5:23:17 PM

so then I should move back? I really miss the US.

5/25/2017 5:31:03 PM

no stay in germany

5/25/2017 5:58:28 PM

^

I wouldn't be bothering you for bum love, if thats what ur worried about.

5/25/2017 6:07:03 PM

you need advice not therapy friend

5/25/2017 6:12:25 PM

5/25/2017 6:30:10 PM

Quote :

"fuck that noise. get your kid and come back to the states. from what i remember, your wife is crazy. make sure the kid will have a better life with you."

this. a thousand times this.

5/25/2017 7:49:04 PM

if you could get paid in Germany like you say you could get paid in the US would you stay in Germany? or is this more about missing the US than it is the pay

5/25/2017 7:55:55 PM

His "wife is crazy" from his point of view. Not saying that she isn't a little cray cray...but we've heard one side of the story. And he is saying that she is a good mom. So all of this, "take the kid back to the States" probably isn't a real option.

The way I look at it, he has two options:

- Stay in Germany, tough it out with the job and lifestyle...but hopefully develop a great relationship with his son

or

- Come back to the States. Advance his career, personal life, quality of life, etc. But obviously the relationship with the son will deteriorate.

Questions you need to ask yourself:

- How much do you value your relationship with your son? Do you need to see him that often and be involved with his life? Can you deal with a couple weeks a years and major milestones?

- Can you make your life better in Germany? Do you hate it? Would it be better if you met someone? Are there other job opportunities?

I would push you towards staying...but you've been there long enough to know whether or not it will ever get better.

Big gut-check moment. I went through a dad and a step-dad that had no effect on my life and feel like I ended up pretty well. Sounds harsh...but the dad isn't that important if you have a great mom. But I also don't know what it's like to have a solid dad...so there's that. I have a 4-month old son and I can't imagine not being a part of his day-to-day life. Love my wife...but if shit goes sour...there's no way she's taking my boy far away from me.

Good luck!

5/25/2017 9:17:57 PM

The second you move home and realize you are lucky to see your son a couple times a year and that he is starting to think that you abandoned him, you'll wish you stayed in Germany. Just because she's a good mom doesn't mean she won't play mind games with both you and him.

Stay.

5/25/2017 9:48:00 PM

Hello internet stranger,

Really throw them off and join the peace corps like that one guy who always talked about diarrhea.

5/25/2017 10:03:07 PM

thanks for all of the tips.

I think that brick nailed what it is that I am going through. As soon as I leave, it will be like being able to predict the future. I will only see him twice a year and he will grow to hate me for it.

Plus, there are definitely worse places to have to "settle down" in

[Edited on May 26, 2017 at 1:03 AM. Reason : j]

5/26/2017 12:55:09 AM