So after Alabama I did a trip across Indiana and Ohio. In Indiana I learned the following things:

1) Before a movie in Indiana, they play the national anthem and you have to stand up.

2) Diarrhea is not as inevitable as I was lead to believe. I only had the runs once. It was at the Tippecanoe. Which brings me to...

3) The bathrooms at the Tippecanoe are awful. It's not just that bathrooms in Indiana are bad -- those were the worst ones I found anywhere, right down to the guy who charged for toilet paper by the sheet. In comparison, the Turkish-style squatters on moving trains were luxurious. Fuck the Tippe.

4) For that matter, fuck South Bend. The only city I went to in Indiana that I straight up didn't like. Garbage everywhere, everybody mad hustling, that town can blow me.

5) If you want drugs, apparently you should go to Fort Wayne. Nobody else in Indiana offered to sell me hash. Everybody in Fort Wayne did.

6) I had been led to believe that Terre Haute was full of partying hippies and Europeans. These were not in evidence. There were however lots of friendly stray dogs, who were cleaner than hippies and nicer than Europeans.

7) All of the money has Benjamin on it -- all of it. Which kind of makes that scene in "Wolf on Wall Street" stupid. Remember, where the guy knows who is on the $100 bill, but not the 50 cent piece? Because he's "never seen" a 50 cent piece? Well, maybe he should have taken a clue from every other denomination. It's Benjamin. It's always Benjamin. It's never not Benjamin.

8) Every building in Evansville has a sign advertising a rooftop restaurant and a 7:00 PM showing of A League of Their Own. Evidently A League of Their Own was filmed there, and Evansvillians operate under the assumption that all tourists are Tom Hanks pilgrims or something.

9) Do not stay at any hotel that does not offer you a stick to fend off monkey attacks.

10) Spectators are welcome at cremations.

1/17/2016 12:19:11 PM

8.5/10 due to not mentioning Gary

1/17/2016 12:46:16 PM