We all know about DIY tableside lemonade, but don't forget to get the server to sub your garnish for double meat or another side.

3/30/2014 7:37:19 PM

Bring a female with you to dine. She will swipe all of the beer glasses you want in her purse, if you so much as hint at needing more beer glasses.

You see, because to a female, it's not really stealing of it's something that she wants to do.

[Edited on March 30, 2014 at 7:39 PM. Reason : Kkthx]

3/30/2014 7:39:17 PM

at a Mexican restaurant, if you order a side of rice, you get a whole plateful...way more than you get with your burrito or whatever

3/30/2014 7:42:25 PM

Bring a bunch of kids to a kids eat free night but don't order anything yourself just consolidate the food and eat family style

3/30/2014 7:42:57 PM

steal a kid's campus ID card, go to dining hall 4 times a day

3/30/2014 8:34:44 PM

i know this is a college messageboard (even though it's like 70% 30+) but this is some sad shit.

hahah

TABLESIDE LEMONADE

the ole HUGE SIDE OF RICE TRICK

if you're that bad off, just go get on food stamps or some shit, and make a sammich

3/30/2014 8:46:41 PM

go to a restaurant with free soft drink refills. bring your own 55 gallon drum and fill it with soda. bring hand trucks cause the drum will weigh like 500 lbs when full.

3/30/2014 8:54:30 PM

I thought I was cheap

damn, y'all cheap

Quote :

"don't forget to get the server to sub your garnish for double meat or another side."

Do what now? I have never heard this. This would get you laughed out of most restaurants I think.

[Edited on March 30, 2014 at 9:01 PM. Reason : f]

3/30/2014 8:59:24 PM

Lol

3/30/2014 9:00:37 PM

if you want extra bbq sauce/honey mustard and they want to charge you for it, offer them your credit card to pay the 25 cents or whatever and they always just say 'whateva' and rightfully give it to you for free

3/30/2014 9:23:40 PM

one of my first interactions with jackleg was him telling me how to get free meals at the drive thru. I dont remember how the scheme went exactly but it worked

3/30/2014 11:32:05 PM

If you go to In-N-Out, ask for your fries animal style.

If you like the prime rib at Outback, order it "Outback style." -> Get's seasoned and finished on a flat top grill.

3/30/2014 11:51:11 PM

my friends and i thought we were the shit in high school when we would go to cicis and order our own pizzas. they give you a number a bring that shit to your table. we would each get our own custom pizza. just eat a salad while you wait.

3.99

3/30/2014 11:53:28 PM

Go to a sit down restaurant

Pretend you are going to the bathroom, but just leave instead

Free meal!

3/31/2014 1:12:05 AM

At a casual dining restaurant, request a table for 1. Once you have been seated, immediately go to the bathroom and poop. Then leave. You just pooped for free.

3/31/2014 4:53:34 AM

Go to an all you can eat buffet and eat huge amounts of food until they kick you out of the restaurant, and leave willingly but without paying. (this does not work at places where you pre-pay.)

3/31/2014 8:53:08 AM

^ A trainer at my last gym used to go in to Golden Coral on the days when they loaded the buffet with steak and eat nothing but to bulk up on protein.
They got to know the waitress pretty well and she pointed out all their "regulars." These people would come in at breakfast, sit down at a table and stay for the day, eating constantly. He said most of the people were like the giant ones you see on peopleofwalmart.com and had found a way to eat tens of thousands of calories a day on just a few bucks while a pissed off waitress brought them glass after glass of Mountain Dew.

3/31/2014 9:42:24 AM

Quote :

"had found a way to eat tens of thousands of calories a day on just a few bucks"

I think some* Somalis and Ethiopians need access to that buffet.

*some = a few hundred thousand

3/31/2014 9:53:59 AM

What the fuck would a person do all day at a Golden Corrall? I mean, sure they're eating, but I'd be bored out of my skull.

3/31/2014 10:00:06 AM

Now I kind of want to take a book and people watch there for a day. But I think by noon I'd be too depressed to stay any longer.

3/31/2014 10:00:47 AM

I think he said they would just bring a book or something. I'd imagine now most of them have iPads or tablets they'd bring.
I'd be more interested in watching the trainer eat. He looked like an Iranian Lou Ferrigno and he said he went there with a fellow body builder. Whenever I picture it in my head they're shoveling food in their mouths like hungry anime characters.

3/31/2014 10:10:03 AM

An old coworker of mine used to get Golden Corral takeout for lunch. For takeout, you pay by the pound. She'd pile up her carton with food and walk around with it eating. Then she'd go pay for her 1/2lb food with 2lbs of food in her stomach. She got kicked out and banished when they caught her

3/31/2014 12:47:50 PM

I was at the Milton's buffet for lunch one day when I realized most of the people in there were morbidly obese and eating alone. I'd never thought about how expensive it must be to maintain a very large physique.

That buffet is good, too. Excellent salad bar, extra meaty ribs, wings, tasty pizza, and all kinds of fried stuff. Back on topic, I was there with a friend who definitely lied about her kids' ages for a discount and ate off their plates.

3/31/2014 1:06:57 PM

i haven't done a Golden Corral breakfast gorge in a while

the times, they are a changing

3/31/2014 1:14:36 PM

I go once every several years. It's never like I imagine it will be.

3/31/2014 1:35:05 PM

when i waited tables in a bar

-anybody who comes and sits down on their cellphones did not receive immediate service, and nobody cares (management) if they do. let your server greet you then make your call. stay outside until your current call is done. dont come sit in my section and have a 30 minute conference call before you get a fucking order in. i have to constantly check on you and its so damn annoying.

-just because you sat down IMMEDIATELY after the previous group who left a major mess left, doesnt mean i can get to you in 30 seconds. give me a second to get my shit together and clean off your table. if you're absolutely starved throw in an appetizer order while I'm cleaning off the table and ill get you something quick. don't just sit there and get pissed off because i couldn't serve you everything in 5 minutes in a slam packed bar.

-people tip like shit, people tip well. i hate when servers bitch about it on facebook. if you are a server, quit bitching. you make like 7-800 a week doing a job that requires no degree.

-a second helping of free bread is cool. a third is fine if you have a huge party. a fourth and fifth you can fuck off. ill still get it for you, but fuck off. i hate you.

- same with sodas. you dont need to chug 5-8 sodas. its awful for you and you getting pissed at me for not refilling it every 3 minutes is ridiculous. get a soda and a water. chug the water or something. i can fill that up with a pitcher very efficiently. ill refill your soda a few times but you should see the chuggers ive seen. pound your beer as hard as you want. ill ring that shit in all day.

- you havent been waiting on your food for FOREVER if its within 18 minutes of ticket time. if its 25-30 minutes, then you have a problem. i would be pissed off if it takes any longer than 25 minutes. when people are hungry 15 minutes quickly turns into an hour

-before you order THINK about what you want. if you want a sandwich and you like ranch and honey mustard and hot sauce and A-1 and want more bread, fucking tell me so i can bring it all out the first time. dont make me go back to the kitchen 15 million times because you remembered you all of the sudden HAVE to have 80 different toppings on your steak. youre fucking up my entire priority list.

-dont ask me what kind of shot you should get. i dont fucking know what you like. i may hate bananas, you may love them. you have an iphone, because you were texting when i was trying to get your food order. there are like 15 drink and bar apps. use that shit and tell me what you want or find a few things that you generally like. (exceptions for 21 year olds). if you do like something more specific and want ideas i can certainly help, but yelling HEY WHAT KIND OF SHOTS SHOULD WE GET is very broad, and i dont care about your shots. im working and youre drunk. fuck off.

- never, and i mean ever, snap at me. last guy that did got meanmugged face to face and spent the rest of the night apologizing to me so that he could get a drink. i will make sure you die of thirst before you get anything out of me by being demeaning.


these are just tips from my side to keep relations cool with your server. 80% of people cause 20% of the issues and vice versa. i do realize that there are a ton of shitty servers out there, but dont be baseless in your judgement of them because of your own immediate priorities.

[Edited on March 31, 2014 at 1:42 PM. Reason : .]

3/31/2014 1:35:26 PM

I heard if you don't tip, you can get away with an automatic 20% discount. Post your non-tipping success stories here!

3/31/2014 1:46:57 PM

or you can leave a negative tip to save $ !!!

3/31/2014 1:49:30 PM

That's probably one of the biggest dick moves I've ever seen.

3/31/2014 2:00:52 PM

I worked at nice Italian joint as a server and bartender and our chef taught me this: don't order the lasagna at an italian place. It's not that its bad, but its not a dish that lends itself to creativity. 99% of the places make the same lasagna, and if you go to a place with a decent chef, the other dishes will be more unique. We made all our own pastas and pizza doughs, including some really unique ones, but we ordered lasagna noodles from Sysco.

If you're a shitty tipper, don't plan on becoming a regular. We kept a list of shitty tippers and would usually ignore them if the place was packed.

If you order a steak or burger medium well or well done, we're going to make fun of you in the kitchen.

Specials aren't always an excuse to unload excess inventory. A good restaurant knows just what to order and how much of it. Both places I worked at would create specials to just offer something unique and fresh, and it was usually ingredients pulled off other menu items and not ever specialty food. The only times there were specialty items is if they were testing new menu options.

3/31/2014 2:09:52 PM

yeah, auto gratuity is the worst.

3/31/2014 2:11:28 PM

Quote :

"If you order a steak or burger medium well or well done, we're going to make fun of you in the kitchen."

OH NO!

3/31/2014 2:13:02 PM

since when is getting a burger medium well a bad thing?

3/31/2014 2:17:25 PM

I knew guys that would go into bars knowing they only had like $10 or $20 on their credit cards, start tabs, then just ball the fuck out. Ordering rounds of shots, top shelf drinks, etc. Then they would just peace out, only to leave the bar/restaurant with a declined credit card so the transaction wouldn't go through.

I, however...always forced that shit when I was behind the bar. Automatic gratuity and you get a nice fine by your credit card company (I think?) fuckface!

3/31/2014 2:26:33 PM

^^^Yeah I realize most people don't give a shit, but I knew at least one dude who was upset about this when we told him.

^^There's not taste to it, its just a slab of grey meat at that point. If you're concerned about food safety then medium should be fine, anything past that just has the fat and juices cooked out of it.

[Edited on March 31, 2014 at 2:27 PM. Reason : ]

3/31/2014 2:26:51 PM

I use to always do medium rare, but have found restaurants undercooking the fuck out my beef lately (steaks included). I do medium just to be safe and I haven't been disappointed yet.

3/31/2014 2:29:10 PM

^ everytime I order a hamburger medium it's undercooked to the point of being raw in the middle. I'd prefer to order medium well and get a little pink than order medium and get fucking steak tartare

3/31/2014 2:33:06 PM

i only laughed at people when they said "I want mine between Medium and Medium well." There is no middle ground. pick one and deal with it.

3/31/2014 2:33:28 PM

How is there no middle ground?

3/31/2014 2:40:40 PM

are pre-paid credit/debit cards anonymous?

If so, do what jbrick said and start a tab on 10$ and bounce before they close it.

3/31/2014 2:42:27 PM

Send the shit back if its undercooked. We'd bitch about costumers who would send back food that was cooked to order, but they had no idea what they were ordering, but if it was truly a fuck up and you ordered medium and the waiter brings back a bloody mess, the guy on the line would usually get shit for it and half the time the manager would comp it.

And a real tip here: Cut your burger in half when you get it, that way you know without having to eat half the thing if its cooked right. Its also a good way to let your waiter vouch for you in the kitchen since they can show just how bad it was, and 9/10 times they'll be more pissed than you about it.

3/31/2014 2:44:55 PM

if you travel a lot for business, you don't have to tip, just make sure you stay out of each place for at least 3 months

then when you do go back, have a hat on and/or a beard/ new hairstyle, and that buys you another 3 months when you come back in normal

and then when you do your expense report, put a tip on the customer copy and send it in

3/31/2014 2:53:36 PM

^Do your research though, because some states consider not tipping a theft of service. You can play it safe and always pay in cash so there's no credit or bank card they can follow up on.

[Edited on March 31, 2014 at 2:58 PM. Reason : ]

3/31/2014 2:58:41 PM

Quote :

"^Do you research though because some states consider not tipping a theft of service. "

wait, wut?

3/31/2014 3:00:03 PM

^ It happens. Most of the cases I ever heard of were dropped because it was a no-tip for shitty service and a judge dismissed the charges on those grounds. Over the years though there have been a few people actually charged because they refused to tip for good service.

3/31/2014 3:05:33 PM

I have never heard of that. But then again, it's been years since I worked in a restaurant, so maybe things have changed

3/31/2014 3:09:07 PM

I bet nobody has ever been convicted

3/31/2014 3:09:44 PM

I knew a hippie who would go to a Mexican restaurant, order a meal, then viciously attack bowl after bowl of chips and salsa. By the time the entree came out, he'd ask for a take-out box and take the entire meal home for his next meal.

3/31/2014 3:11:13 PM

the ole' Hippy chip then dip. classic

3/31/2014 3:18:15 PM

No I don't think anyone has. The only conviction I ever heard of was from a message board like 8 years ago. No article or source, just a "I heard some guy in Manhattan got fined by the judge for not tipping." but I think they were referring to a guy in Long Island who was arrested and then got his charges dropped after hiring a lawyer.

3/31/2014 3:18:27 PM