So I was going back and looking at pictures of my friends from elementary school on facebook.I have to admit, they look pretty old and not so pretty. We're all 30 years old now and the girls that I wanted to hook up with when I was 10 look gross :[They're all just ordinary, and lookin old and tired, and boring. They're not doing really anything amazing with their lives. They had kids and talk about their boyfriends/husbands and it seems like that's the end of their lives as we know it.There were two exceptions that impressed me. One guy graduated from Princeton at the top of his class and is flying all around the world doing engineering theory. The other person was the slutty girl with the big nose who nobody liked...who happened to eventually grow into her nose, and grew a nice body, and married a rich guy, and she lives a life of island hopping, shopping, and partying. She literally has 1700 photos of cruise ships, blue oceans, large hotels, high class parties, and living the dream life.As I self reflect, I feel like I look one notch less in good looks than I thought I would be at this age. It's mainly due to the job stress and not having a day off for 5 years. For 5 years of non-stop work, I am proud of my body, its performance, its state of mental health and its above "average" looks compared to my peers of the same age. I am proud of my accomplishments. I have worked for everything I own. I turn down help to do things myself-- to better myself. I never give up and I live life like I'm going to definitely live until i'm 120 years old.I was just thinking about all the age-related problem threads popping up in the lounge and that we're all getting "up there" in age. "Up there" in age means the age that I thought I'd never see come as a 10 year old or even as a 20 year old. But alas, it's here, and it means death is real and could happen at any time between now and 120 years.So what's your take on your life at this moment in time? I'm interested in hearing your views on all of this.
9/17/2011 1:19:30 AM
Life should be about what you do that positively effects others. On an unrelated note, cruises seem about the most boring asinine vacations ever. Get out with the locals and do some uncomfortable shit--be brave and tre.
9/17/2011 1:56:59 AM
9/17/2011 4:35:41 AM
To the OP, if you're worried about validating your existence by whether or not people remember you, than I personally feel you're missing the mark. It's akin to equating your self-worth with how much money you make, or identifying who you are by what your profession is. However from reading your initial post and seeing what kind of people have impressed you, it is apparent that you seem to be impressed by superficial aspects of people's lives anyway, so I guess that's just who you are.But to answer your question, I do really worry about growing old. I am 32 now. Right after I turned 30, I looked at my life and I was not pleased at where it was. On the outside (superficially) it appeared pretty good. I owned a really nice house, two brand new nice vehicles, I was an officer in the military, I was making over $100K a year, I was married to a very nice girl, and I was 12 years away from a pretty sweet retirement. But that was just on the outside.I had gotten pretty chubby (up to 230ish at one point). I was just kind of floating through life, waiting for retirement. I didn't really have too many interesting hobbies - I played poker and won quite a bit of money relative to the buy-ins, but I felt like I was just waiting until I turned 38 so I could retire and start my "real" life.So right around 30, I went through what some would call an early mid-life crisis, however I would just look at it as a brutally honest self-evaluation. I decided that, despite outward successes, this was not where I wanted to be in life. I decided to start setting goals - major goals that were important to me. I started exercising like a mad man, and dropped 40 pounds. I am up around 205 pounds again now, but everything that I have gained back is muscle. I know very few people who are in better shape than me. I ran a couple half-marathons too, which was huge for me considering I almost failed the 1.5 mile run the year before.I also started to get passionate about one of my hobbies. I LOVE Scrabble, so I started to really study strategy and memorize words. Last year I was ranked in the top 300 players in North America. Eventually I want to get near the top. I also started hiking and camping. My ultimate goal there is to hike the Appalachian Trail in its entirety.But the biggest change in my life has been my little girl. I had never wanted to have kids, and even after my wife was pregnant, I was still very unsure. But in the short 10 months of her existence, she has made me happier than anything in the world. I would have never thought that I would feel that way, but it is true. I would do anything and give up anything for that little baby.So long story short, I feel and look younger now than I did 10 years ago, minus a little gray hair. I sometimes go downtown with some of my younger friends, or out with my brothers who are 7 and 10 years younger than me, and nobody has a clue I am "the old guy". Having a kid, and setting goals for myself (and accomplishing them) are what makes me happy and make me feel young. I don't really care if 100 years down the road, anyone remembers me (short of maybe a few descendants). Living and enjoying my life, and trying to be the best dad I can be makes me extremely happy and is what I feel validates my life.
9/17/2011 7:40:13 AM
^I loved reading that
9/17/2011 9:51:22 AM
9/17/2011 10:18:59 AM
The best view on getting older is not thinking about views on getting older.Also, if you apply opportunity cost principles to your life, you will never be happy. You will always miss out on something, have some regrets, etc
9/17/2011 10:27:27 AM
9/17/2011 10:52:46 AM
FeebleMinded's post was pretty inspiring.
9/17/2011 11:22:55 AM
9/17/2011 12:33:58 PM
Words that everyone once used are now obsolete, and so are the men whose names were once on everyone's lips: Camillus, Caeso, Volesus, Dentatus, and to a lesser degree Scipio and Cato, and yes, even Augustus, Hadrian, and Antoninus are less spoken of now than they were in their own days. For all things fade away, become the stuff of legend, and are soon buried in oblivion. Mind you, this is true only for those who blazed once like bright stars in the firmament, but for the rest, as soon as a few clods of earth cover their corpses, they are 'out of sight, out of mind.' In the end, what would you gain from everlasting remembrance? Absolutely nothing. So what is left worth living for? This alone: justice in thought, goodness in action, speech that cannot deceive, and a disposition glad of whatever comes, welcoming it as necessary, as familiar, as flowing from the same source and fountain as yourself.-Marcus Aurelius
9/17/2011 12:45:20 PM
How do I rate? justice in thought (10 out of 10)goodness in action (8 out of 10, life doesn't allow you to be 10 out of 10 for this. People will take advantage of you.)speech that cannot deceive (if I were allowed by my brain to say what I mean, I would always have speech that cannot deceive. I loathe deception 10 out of 10), a disposition glad of whatever comes (10 out of 10)welcoming it as necessary (10 out of 10)Marcus Aurelius sounds like a wise man. Didn't know he existed, but it's not surprising he had similar thoughts because it's where you end up with when you peel the peel and are left with the banana of life.
9/17/2011 12:58:35 PM
^^^ That sounds much better than the earlier post where you portrayed yourself as a prototypical selfish prick.
9/17/2011 1:54:28 PM
My views on life:+1 on FeebleMinded's post- made me . Things that didn't work out the way I thought in high school: I don't have a PhD or vet degree by now (I fully expected to go straight through to grad school for molecular biology or vet school for veterinary epidemiology. Ahahahaha). I don't own a house or farm yet, and I'm not as financially secure as I wanted to be by this age. I thought I'd be married by now, and not living in NC. Pluses: Life worked out differently. I love my town and community, didn't expect to find a life partner here either (he was playing both QuakeLive last night and talking to me about political theory. Lolz). Never thought I'd be: back in school for Bachelors #2, running a non-profit, in better shape than I was in high school from athletic pursuits (my weight's same or better as it was then), into urban sustainability stuff, riding horses again, or playing music.Looks: I never smoked cigs or drank earlier than college, or tanned, or wore lots of makeup, so I never destroyed my skin. I still get carded at bars at 28, and people mistake me sometimes for a traditional college undergrad. I think not wearing makeup now helps in the youth department. I'm not really concerned with achieving fame or an extraordinary life- I'd much rather have good relationships with friends, family and the greater community, and try to be a good person, and have good experiences. I would argue there's freedom in being "ordinary"- you have the ability to do new things and change accordingly, and not be pigeonholed by other's preconceived notions.
9/17/2011 2:14:41 PM
Thank you Leslie for that thoughtful post I'm interested in knowing your future plans. What are you going to do when you do start showing age and your health fades over time. Have you done everything you can with the looks you have right now because it seems like you're saving them? Is it easier to find someone who likes you for you when you don't have your looks to rely on anymore?
9/17/2011 2:37:40 PM
9/17/2011 3:51:13 PM
9/17/2011 4:05:06 PM
FeebleMinded that may have been the best post i have ever read. <3
9/17/2011 4:18:39 PM
My thoughts on getting older: Aging is inevitable. Living is a choice.The sooner you learn to differentiate between aging and living, the better your life can be. Or at least your acceptance of the life that you have. It's inevitable that I will get older. That my skin will sag. That I'm older with each waking day.Now, how you choose to live will make a big difference in how you perceive the way you age. A lot of people have goals based on the things that they think are important for people to achieve by a certain age. They may want to be married with kids by 30. They may want to make a million dollars by age 25. Maybe these things are possible. Maybe they're not.I think it's very important to set realistic goals. Something like, "I plan to dedicate a certain amount of my time and energy to spending time with family." Or, "I plan to dedicate my time to a career that I love." Or, "I intend to volunteer this much time to helping children in my community." Or, "I promise to take a couple of classes each year to improve my knowledge in a subject that I love."Everyone has strengths and dreams. There are things that we absolutely can achieve. And there are things that we want to achieve. It's best to play to our strengths to achieve what we can ... and then reach just a bit beyond to at least strive for our dreams. I'm not saying aim low. But find what makes you happy as a person. Cultivate your personal interests and your personal relationships. Maybe your life won't be perfect on paper. But if you wake up at age 30 and say, "I may not be a millionaire, but I am ultimately a happy person," then isn't that better?I think we tend to pay too much attention to our facebook "friends". Focus on living your own life and becoming a better person with each day. It doesn't matter what your peers are doing. And it doesn't matter how you measure up to them. At the end of the day, you come home to yourself. And the people you love. My grandmother always tells me, "If you're not happy, it's your own fault." Regardless of what happens to you in life, you have to take responsibility for your own happiness. You can be a miserable millionaire or a miserable bum. But if you dedicate your life to cultivating your personal interests and personal relationships, then you'll probably be the happiest person you can possibly be. Above all, I think it's important to ask yourself, "What am I doing to make the world a better place?" It can be little things, like tutoring kids in your neighborhood or creating art that beautifies a community. Or it could be curing cancer. But if you dedicate your talents and strengths to improving the world around you, then you'll probably go to bed satisfied at the end of most days.I know I will never be the perfect housewife with the 2.5 kids and white picket fence. But I set my goals for the things that matter most to me, and I'm a very happy person. I hope that most people ignore facebook, live their own life and strive to make the most of the life they have.
9/17/2011 4:46:54 PM
9/17/2011 4:53:02 PM
^^That one is pretty good too. Yeah...I like that one.
9/17/2011 4:56:07 PM
^^And that joke made you want to hook up with girls?
9/17/2011 5:04:22 PM
9/17/2011 9:56:05 PM
Genius, in response to your questions, I never really thought about "preserving my looks", just trying to be healthy. I was blessed genetically with good skin so I never really had a need to cover it up with much makeup, and my lifestyle doesn't allow a lot of bullshit cosmetically (please name me the last woman you saw who was a serious cyclist and wore tons of makeup while doing so). I won't be getting plastic surgery or injections, ever. I actually welcome some wrinkles, because it means I'll get hit on less at bars when I go out on my own to meet friends. (I'm about boringly average in the looks dept., so why not hit on the hottie over there in the miniskirt?)When my health goes: everyone's health goes. I hope to live to 95 and still be gardening and dispensing advice to younguns. That would rule. As for being in a relationship, apparently it was my voice and no BS personality that drew the unfortunate SOB in, not primarily my looks. I think at our ages- I was 25 and he was 28- we were concerned more with lifestyle, life values and stability. I don't regret my decision to leave another relationship for someone who backs me 100% in every decision. You can't really ask for anything more than that in a partner.
9/18/2011 1:41:11 AM
1. Get Money2. Fuck Bitches
9/18/2011 3:40:11 AM
This has got to be at the top of the short list of threads GeniuSxBoY made that doesn't suck.
9/18/2011 8:40:10 AM
9/18/2011 9:37:38 AM
Maybe I need to wait a few more years, but the women I remember from high school don't look much different from 8 years ago when I graduated.
9/18/2011 10:53:46 AM
i really liked FeebleMinded's post
9/18/2011 11:55:35 AM
9/18/2011 2:35:18 PM
Nothing like Ozymandias to end the existentialist conversation.
9/21/2011 8:40:43 PM
9/21/2011 9:09:10 PM
In general, I think most on here are still trying to figure out a lot of stuff. One thing I've found is that it's nice to leave work everyday knowing (1) You did something meaningful with your time (2) You're an indispensable part of your company I don't make great money by any means, but I enjoy the work and I'm damn good at it. That's good enough for me right now.
9/21/2011 11:08:12 PM
So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of such as were oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors there was power; but they had no comforter
9/22/2011 12:10:09 AM
Postin' in a thread made only so the OP could talk to himself and get the attention of others with his provocative and teenage-in-rebellion-esque opinions.
9/22/2011 3:36:19 AM
9/22/2011 7:53:06 AM
That was certainly unwarranted. This is a lounge post and I assure you, this isn't a troll thread.The five years I spent in this business was merely an investment in my life. The business will be the mechanism that supports me for as long as I live. I could die at 60 or 120, it doesn't matter. A business is a machine that generates money. My sons can take over when they're ready.Once the machine runs without me in the drivers seat, the machine will make money for me without having to physically work. Otherwise, I'd have to rely on my two hands to make money. My body is organic and will degenerate over time versus a business. It takes time, sacrifice, and devotion to start a business. You wouldn't be able to start a business if you followed the saying "live every day to its fullest". If I lived like every day like it was going to be my last day on Earth, I'd spend all my money, be broke, struggling and not having too much fun at all. Instead I "live LIFE to it's fullest." If I live life to 120, I will have the maximum number of days to live life and not work. Even though I will not have a day off in 10 years, I'll probably end up working less number of days than you will over your entire life. The only way I lose is if I die within the next 15 years. But I can't really lose if I'm dead because I don't exist anymore.[Edited on September 22, 2011 at 12:22 PM. Reason : .]
9/22/2011 12:21:08 PM
Buy a diary.
9/22/2011 12:35:35 PM
yes, completely warranted. I was quoting you. So to summarize
9/22/2011 12:40:22 PM
9/22/2011 12:41:09 PM
The best trolls are the ones who are too stupid to realize they are trolling
9/22/2011 12:43:07 PM
The best trolls are the ones that don't realize they are stupid, and then pretend they were trolling all along, like some warped denial-ridden rant of obliviousness.
9/22/2011 12:48:48 PM
i feel like most people do the things feeble mentioned at some point, its just the things that are important to them are different
9/22/2011 12:51:14 PM
Any kind of quest of immortality is meaningless. Human civilization will expire sooner or later, and nothing you have ever done will matter.I have been working, over the past few years, to become a person of action. Earlier in my life, I placed so many limitations on what I could do or who I could become. In the back of my mind, I knew what I wanted, but I lacked the will or motivation to go after it. That's no way to live. Now, I go after what I want, and failure or rejection is not a deterrent, just another opportunity to learn and improve.My desires and priorities are likely to change over the next few years. My only concrete goals are to continue improving myself and to continue building up those around me.
9/22/2011 12:59:37 PM
FeebleMinded your post is my hero today. A lot of what you said rings true for me but I could not have put it so well, nor have I yet reached my goal of being happy, but you make me feel it is possible. Anyway, there was a time a few years ago where I realized the most important thing to me is my friends and every day since I have made sure I live for them, and I am happier for it. It helps that they're all great people, it's not a light label. Without a positive goal like that I doubt I would be posting here, "personal success" be damned.
9/22/2011 1:11:22 PM
9/22/2011 2:33:03 PM
I might be missing something, but personal success is when you achieve happiness in your own life so in order words, every day you have made sure you live for them,, it makes you happy.You're not really doing it for them, are you. You're doing it for yourself. And you are personally successful at making yourself happy.""personal success" be damned."
9/22/2011 3:19:03 PM
Thought you were trolling for a second but I reread. I was referring to the fact that doing well with my personal life (school, job, etc) didn't make me as happy as making the people I care about smile, and I would rather place that success second to them. I didn't always do that. Anyway, they make me happy when I don't do anything at all. I might have screwed up the semantics but hopefully that makes sense.
9/22/2011 3:36:36 PM
^ i know EXACTLY what you mean.
9/22/2011 3:40:04 PM
i feel the opposite, i dont care if the people around me smile or frowni do what makes me happy and while i dont expect people to always agree or want to participate, if they feel its better to not fuck with me than they dont fit into my life's plan.i have no reason to please other people just for the sake of making them happy.
9/22/2011 3:41:29 PM