Quote :

"WINDSOR, N.C. — Authorities say an 87-year-old man shot and killed his 86-year-old wife in their Windsor home, then turned the gun on himself. Family members say Frank Cowan has just recovered from pneumonia and may have been worried if he died no one would be able to take care of his wife, Dorothy, who had Alzheimer's disease. Bertie County deputies say one of the couple's children found them dead Thursday morning. Relatives say the couple met in the eighth grade and had been married for almost 67 years. "

What are your thoughts on this? Is a murder-suicide unacceptable at any age or so you find it more acceptable given their circumstances?

8/5/2011 2:05:03 PM

im surprised an 87 yr old could even work a gun properly

8/5/2011 2:06:22 PM

Once someone turns 85 I believe murder is acceptable. But if he were say, 83 for example, I'd find it unacceptable.

8/5/2011 2:07:00 PM

It's sad that he felt this was their best option if indeed the motive was that there was no one to care for his wife with his health failing.

My folks will never be in this situation. Our family is far too close knit.

[Edited on August 5, 2011 at 2:11 PM. Reason : .]

8/5/2011 2:08:29 PM

that makes me that he felt like that was his only option

8/5/2011 2:11:48 PM

Geris don't belong on this earth. Goddamn medicines and shit only allow us to slowly ease ourselves into a dependent lifestyle of crying about the "good ole days" and "kids these days."

I hope I don't live to be that old.

[Edited on August 5, 2011 at 2:13 PM. Reason : and if I did, I wouldn't mind getting blasted.]

8/5/2011 2:12:41 PM

At least leave a note, asshole

8/5/2011 2:17:07 PM

it makes me wonder at what stage was his wife's alzheimer's and if she even knew what was going on / agreed to his idea to kill them both. if his wife was in the early stages and agreed to it, then i can see why they did what they did. but if the wife was so far gone that she had NO clue and he did it out of fear/assumption over fact, then i think it's wrong.

8/5/2011 2:17:55 PM

Awe. It's sad and sweet all at the same time.

8/5/2011 2:19:27 PM

Link btw
http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/9955630/

8/5/2011 2:19:37 PM

Gunshot's more humane than Alzheimer's.

8/5/2011 2:28:40 PM

I'm going to write the best suicide note ever

Its just a pity none of you will be alive to read it

8/5/2011 2:30:46 PM

I am from the area where this happened at, and I just want to point out that I don't think this has to do with not being in a close knit family, but perhaps being poor, no resources, or not even understanding what options are available to you in a situation like this. In addition, maybe he felt like he did not want to be a burden on his kids or family. While I mixed feelings about this, I have more admiration for the old chap than otherwise.

8/5/2011 2:33:44 PM

my2cents, I was talking to my grandma who is from downeast and actually knows of this couple because about a year ago they went on a beach trip like a group of senior citizens type deal...and she was telling me that even last year the husband was helping feed her and always held onto her purse to buy things bc she was out of it. I can imagine she had progressively gotten a lot worse

/my2cents

8/5/2011 2:40:16 PM

^ that's really sad

and especially if what seedless said is the case, then i can imagine her condition got worse quickly if they didn't have the money / means to have the wife on the proper Alzheimer medications to slow down the effects.


[Edited on August 5, 2011 at 2:42 PM. Reason : better wording]

8/5/2011 2:41:53 PM

Quote :

"Gunshot's more humane than Alzheimer's."

8/5/2011 2:51:06 PM

Once i become unable to take care of myself please kill me in a manner that won't have you arrested.

8/5/2011 3:01:15 PM

Quote :

"Once i become unable to take care of myself please kill me in a manner that won't have you arrested."

You wouldn't even be aware that you're unable to take of yourself. You're pretty much dead, alive.

8/5/2011 3:10:50 PM

I think it is very noble of him and I hope that when I am that old that the person I am with would have the same considerations.

8/5/2011 3:16:20 PM

lol hey NC nice job taking care of your elderly

8/5/2011 3:48:32 PM

this is why when i'm old i just want to be abandoned in the woods somewhere. seriously.

8/5/2011 3:51:57 PM

a southerner's retirement plan: abandon me in the woods

8/5/2011 3:55:15 PM

Quote :

"Gunshot's more humane than Alzheimer's"

I feel bad for both of them.

In other news lmao @Slave

8/5/2011 4:02:19 PM

if i get to the point that i can't take care of myself, please shoot me

8/5/2011 4:08:03 PM

I've recently gone through taking care of an elderly family member.

It is heartbreaking for the caregiver and absolutely humiliating for the invalid. My grandmother was lucid and I cared for her at home right up until her last few weeks of life. She despised being helpless.

8/5/2011 4:20:20 PM

Quote :

"You wouldn't even be aware that you're unable to take of yourself. You're pretty much dead, alive."

That is why I would like someone to kill me.
But even if I can't move on my own any more... Pull that trigger.

8/6/2011 8:07:37 AM

Quote :

"My folks will never be in this situation. Our family is far too close knit."

it is really hard to know this until it happens. being a caregiver is a VERY strenuous job and you pretty much have to dedicate 100% of your time to caring for the other person. it is difficult if you have kids or a relationship of any kind with another person. in an ideal world, yes. but once the time gets here its like...a lot harder than anticipated.

i mean you could always put them in a home. i am sure that is what this man was trying to avoid though - his wife being unaware and alone in a home for the rest of her days without him (even if she didn't know who he was already).

i also think a big part of what plays into stuff like this is that elderly people don't want to be a burden on those younger than them (kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, etc) - the people that would be left to care for them. so that might have had something to do with it?

i dunno. i think it is sad. but i get it.

a gun is a little intense though. i'd think car in garage would be better.

[Edited on August 6, 2011 at 9:01 AM. Reason : .]

8/6/2011 8:47:19 AM

Quote :

" it is really hard to say this until it happens."

It's not that hard with some people.






Sad. Feels bad man.

8/6/2011 8:52:00 AM

yes, if you can see the future then i guess it is probably easy to say things with certainty.

8/6/2011 8:53:35 AM

Quote :

"a southerner's retirement plan: abandon me in the woods "

Best line in the entire thread.

8/6/2011 8:54:46 AM

Quote :

"being a caregiver is a VERY strenuous job and you pretty much have to dedicate 100% of your time to caring for the other person."

Yes! You really don't understand until you're in the situation. My family is extremely close and I swore that my grandmother would never go to a nursing home. But then I was pregnant with a 3 year old and caring for a 120 pounds of almost entirely dead weight. At 8 months pregnant, I was supporting nearly all of her weight during transfers and getting up in the middle of the night to roll her from side to side to change her diaper. It didn't take long before I just physically could not care for her any longer. My grandmother made the decision to go into the nursing home and I fought her on it wanting to extend the hours that home health came out to help, but the nursing home ended up being the right decision. At least there, she felt like she wasn't a burden and I was able to visit her on a daily basis and give her the emotional support that she needed.

8/6/2011 9:16:16 AM

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on August 6, 2011 at 12:04 PM. Reason : oh god damnit lol]

8/6/2011 12:03:11 PM

Anyone ever see The Notebook where the wife has a moment of clarity and remembers EVERYTHING?

Just think about that scene and read this story.


I hope you cry and purge your sorrows. Now go out and kick ass and love life.

8/6/2011 12:07:24 PM

Are you trying to say that just because she had a moment of clarity, we should think this is a bad situation because she could have remembered everything for a few minutes, maybe even just a few seconds?

I think you should also remember what happened immediately following that scene where they had to sedate her from freaking out.

8/6/2011 12:08:37 PM

I think you should both remember that you are adults who are referencing The Notebook.

8/6/2011 12:20:52 PM

i think this is a romantic story

8/6/2011 12:22:11 PM

^ ^ true

^ ^ ^ as soon as you start believing life is no longer worth living at some point that's when you hit the slippery slope - if you sincerely believe life is always worth living life can surprise you

8/6/2011 12:37:37 PM

Quote :

"But then I was pregnant with a 3 year old "

8/6/2011 12:54:28 PM

lol

two separate conditions.

pregnant, with a 3 year old.

8/6/2011 2:01:37 PM

Just because someone is living doesn't mean it's a quality life.

If I ever reached the "lights are on but no one's home" point, or had something as terrible as Alzheimer's, I would want to be put out of my misery.


(Though I think the gun is extreme )

8/6/2011 2:08:21 PM

^amen.

My grandmother suffered so much her last month of life that she was waiting to die. She was lucid, but she couldn't move, couldn't see, could no longer swallow, and she was retaining so much fluid that her skin was opening up and oozing. It was awful and I completely understand why people put loved ones out of their misery.

8/6/2011 2:13:38 PM

It would have been more impressive to see a suicide-murder.

8/6/2011 2:20:23 PM

props to StateGrad for referencing the notebook. I was waiting for it.

8/6/2011 2:25:28 PM

Tell me this isn't fucking hilarious




also @titanz




I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

2/23/2012 9:17:30 PM

suicide is acceptable at any age.

2/23/2012 9:18:53 PM

I plan to check out on my own via a failed parachute jump or something like that.

2/23/2012 9:23:03 PM

My dad told me he would like for me to kill him if he ever needed to be put in a rest home

2/23/2012 9:50:50 PM

I thought this thread was bumped because of this news story: http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/10768556/

102 year old tried to kill his wife, and then killed himself.

2/23/2012 9:57:39 PM

fail

2/23/2012 9:59:40 PM

^^ that is also what I thought

the blank csi thing is pretty funny lol

2/23/2012 10:09:03 PM