Does anyone have experience and/or advice for planning a destination wedding?

I just got engaged and we've been discussing destination weddings. We're both older (35 and 34) and have small families and neither want to have to plan a full scale wedding. We're looking at a max of 20 people for the wedding and would to get a package deal and not worry about all the details. But we also don't want to spend a fortune on glamour and glitz. We do want it in the Caribbean region.

There's a lot of stuff out there. We're on The Knot and even that seems overwhelming given we're just a week in to the engagement.

So - any advice? Places? Times of the year?

Help!

8/2/2011 8:16:05 PM

As a start, I'd advise you to go through the extensive thread on weddings that's still on this page. There's a bit about destination weddings in there, and they're more likely to check that thread and give advice than this one. Good luck with planning! I love the idea of a destination wedding (but could never have convinced the husband).

[Edited on August 2, 2011 at 9:04 PM. Reason : ]

8/2/2011 9:01:22 PM

we looked at it at one point. Part of it is are you going to be able to get everyone you want out their on your dime, and if not, is it going to be putting anyone in a bad spot over financing their ability to attend your wedding.

8/2/2011 9:17:51 PM

they're perfect if:

a) you're broke
b) you don't have many friends
c) you don't like your friends

8/2/2011 9:29:40 PM

I am getting married in Aruba next month. we did not pay for everyone's travel, but found a place that was relatively easy and cheap to get to (round trip to Aruba is ~$400) and we let them know waaaaaaaaay in advance. the save the dates went out 15 months before the wedding so that everyone who wanted to go had plenty of time to save money and plan.

the resort we are staying at gave such a great deal ($125/night) on the rooms (it is NOT all inclusive) that most of our guests are staying 4-5 nights and are treating it as their nice yearly vacation.

if you want some specifics, shoot me a message. I would be happy to share our experiences, budget, etc...

[Edited on August 2, 2011 at 10:08 PM. Reason : .]

8/2/2011 10:07:26 PM

Heh, my mom gave me this page from a magazine that was talking about Sandals and Martha Stewart teaming up.

http://www.sandals.com/weddingmoons/weddings/collections/wedding-themes.cfm

There is a really small option that if you stay so many nights, the smallest wedding package is free. Might be an option!

Ha, just read the fine print, and the reception is for like, 2 people for the free one. Lols.

[Edited on August 3, 2011 at 11:30 AM. Reason : .]

8/3/2011 11:29:21 AM

I went to one a few years ago, and I had a blast. From talking with the couple there were a few major reasons they did it...

-cuts down on expenses since everyone pays for the trip on their own and you can already be at your honeymoon destination
-it's an easy way to keep the guest list small if you want that
-removes the vast majority of planning from the whole thing

they did have a problem with their marriage license in the destination country though, so thats something to watch out for.

8/3/2011 11:46:50 AM

easy way around the marriage license is to get married in the states at the courthouse either before or after. then the ceremony at the destination is just that. legalities are handled here.

8/3/2011 11:50:57 AM

I think the main thing you have to consider with a destination wedding is the financial aspect for everyone else. It's easy to take the attitude of "If they can't afford it, it's ok. We won't take offense," but close family members (grandparents, etc.) will most likely feel obligated to go and definitely want to see you married too so it puts them in a sticky situation if they're watching their budget. That's the main reason I didn't consider a destination wedding. I know with more than a year's notice, everyone would be able to save up but you also have to factor in taking time off work, childcare, pet boarding, etc. Just some things I thought of anyway.

8/3/2011 12:36:41 PM

I'm actually going to be attending a destination wedding in October this year so I can offer my $.02 about that side of things. It's already been said but I'll just stress it again: let everyone know WAY in advance, which I'm sure most people do anyway. This couple only decided on their destination about 5-6 months before the actual date (they kept flip-flopping on the actual destination) which doesn't leave a whole lot of time to plan days off work and save up money. Their engagement was a little over a year long so a bit more notice would've been a lot better for me personally. I'm still in school so I don't have much income coming in so saving up was pretty hard for me on such short notice. Luckily the bride and groom kept watch on airline prices and alerted everyone to specials and sales that were going on, otherwise I'm not sure I could go.

That's really it other than just keep everyone you REALLY want to be there in the loop. I really think destination weddings require a lot more communication between the bride/groom and the guests before the wedding.

8/3/2011 12:52:23 PM

friends of mine did a destination wedding in April and they worked with a local travel agent to help find them the best deals. From there they figured out where they wanted to get married and the travel agent was able to get a block of rooms at a discount

8/3/2011 1:57:20 PM

had some friends get married just south of Cancun at an all inclusive resort and it was AWESOME!!! it was inexpensive and a great excuse to take a vacation. plus it was with a bunch of friends from college so it was like spring break all over again. fun times!!

8/3/2011 2:59:17 PM

Quote :

"It's easy to take the attitude of "If they can't afford it, it's ok. We won't take offense," but close family members (grandparents, etc.) will most likely feel obligated to go and definitely want to see you married too so it puts them in a sticky situation if they're watching their budget."

Another thing to consider is will family members or friends you plan on inviting get super pissy about the expense, and if they do, do you care? If you do care, would you foot part or all of the bill for them to come? Are you okay with people you don't invite "never talking to you again" or even people you do invite but can't afford to come out for one reason or another?

I know that sounds extreme, but people get crazy when it comes to weddings. I had a few family members I didn't invite because our wedding was small and a destination for most people and they were relatives I barely know. I had some of them flip their shit and call my dad to berate him about it. He was like, "WTF why do you care this much "

So yeah, if you don't care about drama or feel you can handle it, you should be good.

8/3/2011 4:07:34 PM

Friends of mine got married in Aruba and then had a huge reception when they got back. That sort of took care of everyone, and the away was just close friends/family that had to be planned for. They did it in the fall, iirc.

8/3/2011 5:24:30 PM

We got married last October in the Riviera Maya, about an hour south of Cancun. (Haven't kept up with traveling to Mexico since then, but we felt pretty safe at the time).

Here is the website of the place: http://www.palaceresorts.com/resorts/aventuraspapalace

We had about 15 people come down (all immediate family and then about 6 or 7 close friends).

We let everyone know about going in January, so they had about 9 months to decide on going. We basically asked about 30 people to go (extended family and other friends) and told them that we would have a reception back at home whenever we got back if they couldn't come on the trip. We wanted to make them not feel obligated to spend the money to go. We had a local travel agency deal with all of the details, so the people that ended up going, we just gave them the travel agents information and they booked through them instead of us having to worry about each persons travel arrangements.

My wife & I went down on a Saturday and stayed until the next Sunday. The group got there on Wednesday & we got married on Thursday. There were requirements that you had to be in the country for at least 3 days before you were able to have a marriage license issued.

For everyone else to come from Wednesday-Sunday, I think the price was about $1100 per couple. That included airfare and the resort was all inclusive. I would not go back if the resort was not all inclusive. The food alone was worth that, let alone drinks all day.

October was certainly their slow season. The pools that are shown on the website literally had 5 people at them during certain times. I'm guessing that is a combination of hurricane season, Mexican travel concerns and it not being during school vacation. It was in no way a reflection of the resort though, as it was one of the nicer ones I've been to.

The wedding itself was extremely easy to handle. They asked for a few things before we got down there (paperwork and high level wedding details). Then the day we got down there they had a wedding coordinator call us to meet to pick the specifics (location on resort, reception location, menu for meal, cake, flowers....we also added an upgraded photographer and violinist during the ceremony).

The only drawback to this was that we still did feel like we needed to have the reception back at home for the friends and family that didn't come. We had about 150 people there and with the cost of that, it defeated the whole purpose of saving money by going off and getting married, but we had a great time regardless.

8/7/2011 5:09:21 AM