PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

4/10/2010 10:44:56 AM

Clearly, you need to be saved harder.

4/10/2010 10:46:58 AM

But was it a midget Jehovah's Witness?

4/10/2010 10:47:07 AM

do you have problems just telling folks to leave you alone?

4/10/2010 10:48:12 AM

Much worse than Jehova's defendants.

4/10/2010 10:50:19 AM

I have done that and said "Please don't come back" and they just send a new one.
I even said, I don't want to be a jehovah's witness. I just in fact said that this time, too.

4/10/2010 10:50:32 AM

start answering the door with a shotgun in your hand. works for me.

4/10/2010 10:51:06 AM

if they're black just put up confed flags


i mean southern battle flags

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

4/10/2010 10:54:37 AM

they are all black. I have never been solicited by black Jehovah's witnesses until I came to Charlotte. If they were this persistent with they lottery they would probably hit the big one before I would be converted.

[Edited on April 10, 2010 at 10:58 AM. Reason : I refuse to put up the rebel flag.]

4/10/2010 10:58:21 AM

Someone told me that their friend's special cousin trapped a little person jehova's witness in a closet thinking it was a troll. And I laughed so fucking hard. And then I googled it and found it on snopes. I was severely disappointed because it was so damn funny when she told us.

4/10/2010 11:08:44 AM

but it's so easy to fuck with them

4/10/2010 11:18:28 AM

tell them you are practicing catholic and then try to reverse convert them.

no. just tell em to leave and not come back

4/10/2010 11:26:41 AM

^LOL! That is so genius.. I never thought to try to reverse convert them. I shall try this next time and report back ITT.

4/10/2010 11:29:35 AM

Usually I just don't answer the door, but if they happen to catch me they usually look sweaty as balls so I give them a bottle of water and send them along. Which is better than my dad who will let them talk, frequently interrupting to let them know they are "full of shit".

4/10/2010 11:33:31 AM

Quote :

"I have done that and said "Please don't come back" and they just send a new one."

i mean, its not like they go back to their office after a visit and update a database to show:

Address:punchmonk's house
Interest Level: None
Religious Affiliation: None
Further Contact Desired: No
Status: Closed

Maybe someone could create an App for that

[Edited on April 10, 2010 at 11:37 AM. Reason : .]

4/10/2010 11:36:54 AM

Hello, punchmonk. If I could have just 5 minutes of your time, I'd like to tell you that you, too, can get into heaven. May I come in?

4/10/2010 11:40:05 AM

Someone My sister told me that her friend's co-workers special cousin son trapped a little person jehova's witness in a closet thinking it was a troll. And I laughed so fucking hard. And then I googled it and found it on snopes. I was severely disappointed because it was so damn funny when she told us.

4/10/2010 11:44:28 AM

We had a Jehovah's witness come by last summer with her daughter, who was about 7, and the little girl was the one trying to convert. One of our friends was staying over and was on the couch in his underwear, so I stepped out onto the porch to talk to her--but, like every JW I've met in Raleigh, she just gave us a pamphlet, said thanks, told us about an upcoming revival, and skipped away.

OK so they don't all skip, but they're usually very non-invasive.

4/10/2010 12:15:01 PM

i had one come to our apartment when i lived with debbie and erin a few years ago.

i told them i was interested but busy but asked them if they could come back later. they said they could that afternoon but i asked them about the next day.
they said they could send someone else (BAM-what i was looking for)

i told them a time to be there and that my name was debbie.

she didn't forgive me for that for a while.

[Edited on April 10, 2010 at 12:19 PM. Reason : oops]

4/10/2010 12:18:16 PM

answer door in the nude. problem solved.

4/10/2010 12:19:25 PM

I smile nicely and thank them and they go on their merry way.

However, lots of times, I just pretend to not be at home.

4/10/2010 12:20:08 PM

bttt

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

4/15/2010 9:23:14 PM

Quote :

"Someone My sister told me that her friend's co-workers special cousin son trapped a little person jehova's witness in a closet thinking it was a troll. And I laughed so fucking hard. And then I googled it and found it on snopes. I was severely disappointed because it was so damn funny when she told us"

omg a coworker told us the same story last week! We were crying laughing!

4/15/2010 9:26:15 PM

Why are they out so crazy right now?

I guess they are trying to prepare us for the rapture. We only got like 2.5 years.

4/15/2010 9:26:23 PM

nice weather maybe?

4/15/2010 9:30:28 PM

probably because the weather is nice and better for walking and/or riding a bicycle in dress clothes

[Edited on April 15, 2010 at 9:34 PM. Reason : ^haha i sat on this page for a long time. too slow.]

4/15/2010 9:33:30 PM

So they're fair-weather converters. I see.

4/15/2010 9:42:15 PM

The local baptist church brought around free potted plants for Easter.

And our church is giving out free BBQ sandwiches this weekend (Skibo Rd. Gander Mtn.) No strings attached - no stupid "steps to salvation", no tracts, no sales pitch. Just a napkin.

If you're in the area plz to come - we have around 150 pounds of BBQ to give away

4/15/2010 10:14:49 PM

no such thing as a free lunch

[Edited on April 15, 2010 at 10:16 PM. Reason : proven fact. and 150 lbs ain't shit, son]

4/15/2010 10:15:48 PM

^it's definitely free. And there's no BS. Most people don't even get out of their cars. We just give 'em a sandwich and they drive off. Simple as that.

It's funny to see people wait for the sales pitch to come to Jesus or something. They've been conditioned waaaaaaaay too long

150lbs is not a lot. But we do this frequently. Last year we gave away almost a ton of free meat

[Edited on April 15, 2010 at 10:20 PM. Reason : a]

4/15/2010 10:18:32 PM

Yeah instead you poisoned the sandwiches with the addictive blood of Christ. No sales pitch necessary. They'll be back.

4/15/2010 10:21:03 PM

One of my best friends is a Jehovah's Witness. We talk about it from time to time, but he never tries to force me into anything ever. In fact, he's about the most polite, likable guy I know. He does invite me to functions every now and then, and I never go. But he never gets mad, never treats me differently, never looks down at me, and I'm always his friend. I have an enormous amount of respect for him.

From what I understand, Jehovah's Witnesses have a great sense of community and outpouring amongst themselves and to their communities as well. They aren't racist and welcome people from all walks of life. And lots of them enjoy a good beer or three as well. Most of the ones I've met are good people.

I have nothing against them. I'll never join them, but I respect their beliefs, as they have always respected mine.

4/15/2010 11:01:35 PM

well motherfuck let's just break out the guitar and sing kumbaya while we're at it

4/15/2010 11:03:43 PM

bring it, man.

4/15/2010 11:04:37 PM

4/15/2010 11:05:11 PM

i heard they don't believe in birthdays

4/15/2010 11:06:00 PM

I heard they rape and pillage towns with less than 200 people.

4/15/2010 11:08:02 PM

last one that visited came with his wife. I asked if he was hoping to be on of the 144,000 who makes it into Heaven, he said yes so I asked if he was a virgin. He responded that he was married, this was his wife and why. I let him know that the 144,000 were all virgins and since he wasn't one he wasn't going to Heaven so he had to be a part of the group that was left on Earth. Haven't seen another JW in 6 years since then. Rev 14:3-4 in case you wanted to know the actual verse.

4/15/2010 11:14:50 PM

Quote :

"Yeah instead you poisoned the sandwiches with the addictive blood of Christ. No sales pitch necessary. They'll be ba"

Hahaha.

Also, why is NRR so mad tonight? He should come caturday, film the whole thing, and post. I would actually be curious to see how we do.

4/15/2010 11:30:43 PM