Lisa: I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart.
Bart: We're all gonna die, Lis.
Lisa: I meant soon.
Bart: So did I.

5/26/2009 10:04:06 PM

why

5/26/2009 10:06:36 PM

Purple is a fruit.

5/26/2009 10:06:54 PM

my favorite is when Lisa creates Lutherans

5/26/2009 10:07:27 PM

i eated the purple berries. they taste like burning

5/26/2009 10:07:49 PM

I bent my wookie


go bannana

excellent

d'oh

5/26/2009 10:08:02 PM

my diiiiiingaaaaliiiiiing...my dingaaliiiiiiiing...i want you to plaaaaay...with my dingalinnnnnngggg

5/26/2009 10:08:22 PM

Marge: You know Homer, it's easy to criticize.
Homer: Fun too.

5/26/2009 10:11:48 PM

I wish God were alive to see this.

5/26/2009 10:12:46 PM

me fail english? thats unpossible!

5/26/2009 10:12:59 PM

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power ... like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

5/26/2009 10:14:27 PM

Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and/or roll.

5/26/2009 10:15:28 PM

Beer. The cause of AND solution to, all of life's problems

5/26/2009 10:15:45 PM

sax-a-ma-phone

Sex Cauldron?! I thought they closed that place down

5/26/2009 10:16:50 PM

IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN BAAABY

5/26/2009 10:17:15 PM

I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try.

5/26/2009 10:22:17 PM

Supernintendo Chalmers!

5/26/2009 10:23:09 PM

Lisa walks in on Marge squeezing ketchup packets into a bottle.
Lisa: "Mom, what are you doing?"
Marge: "This is how I save money on ketchup and mustard."
Lisa: "Do you do it with relish?"
Marge: "No, I'm kinda embarrassed about it."

5/26/2009 10:23:12 PM

Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! dammit.

My cat's breath smells like cat food

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University.

[Edited on May 26, 2009 at 10:25 PM. Reason : .]

5/26/2009 10:24:57 PM

Boo-urns

and a personal favorite: "Homer, lighten up! You're making happy hour bitterly ironic."

5/26/2009 10:26:38 PM

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

Marge: Homer, watch your mouth!

Homer: Oh, I Gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening.

Lisa: We are not wieners!

Homer: Then what are you dressed like that for?

5/26/2009 10:27:11 PM

Homer: THAT'S tennis? What's the sport where chicks whale on each other?
Lisa: Foxy boxing?
Homer: Yeah! THAT'S the sport I wanted!

Homer: I've gotta take Marge to the ballet tonight
Lenny: Oh, your going to go see the bear in the little car?

Marge: Homer, most people pray silently!
Homer: But Marge, he's way the hell up there!!!

Homer: Financial panther eh? GET EM SHEBA!

The voice actors doing an interview, its pretty cool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMOQnJ-SLHI&feature=related

[Edited on May 26, 2009 at 10:40 PM. Reason : link]

5/26/2009 10:30:07 PM

^^^yeah, those a fucking great.

^those blow. I must assume you're one of those stupid Simpsons fans.

5/26/2009 10:36:12 PM

Homer: Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike, you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.

5/26/2009 10:36:39 PM

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

5/26/2009 10:39:19 PM

^ Lol

5/26/2009 10:40:18 PM

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!


and from the same episode

Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the "G"s!

5/26/2009 10:42:14 PM

you choo-choo choose me?

this is where I met the leprechaun. he told me to burn things.

Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!

5/26/2009 10:45:32 PM

Burns: I suggest you leave immediately
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

5/26/2009 10:47:31 PM

you don't win friends with sa-lad!

5/26/2009 10:48:02 PM

^^release the mechanical richard simmons.

5/26/2009 10:48:37 PM

Homer: If you can't sell alcohol, what are Lenny and Carl doing here?
Lenny: (Pointing to sunlight coming through the window and a line drawn on the ground) When the light gets to here, we can drink again!

same episode

Burns: I've got a clean bill of health. I was sorry to hear about your news. How many eggs did they say it laid in your brain?
Smithers: I'd prefer not to know, sir.
(one of the participants in a monkey knife fight limps over)
Burns: Furious George, what happened! Smithers, I'm afraid this monkey is going to need most of your skin.

5/26/2009 10:49:38 PM

Kent Brockman: …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

5/26/2009 10:50:29 PM

That's a great price for 6 pounds of nutmeg!

5/26/2009 10:57:50 PM

Rainier: My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
---------
Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.
---------
Homer: It's true, I'm a Rageaholic.....I just can't live without Rageahol!

5/26/2009 10:58:48 PM

and here come the pretzels!!!

The Lincoln Squirrel...has been shot.

5/26/2009 11:00:16 PM

Homer: Stupidity got us into this mess- and stupidity will get us out.

5/26/2009 11:01:11 PM

From above:


Ze goggles! Zey do nussing!

5/26/2009 11:03:17 PM

Lisa Simpson: I don't know about that. I'm considered pretty smart.
Madam Wu: Well, Tibet was considered pretty independent. How'd that work out?

5/26/2009 11:03:38 PM

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That’s specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn’t work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It’s just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don’t see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

[Edited on May 26, 2009 at 11:09 PM. Reason : ]

5/26/2009 11:09:09 PM

ralph quotes are kinda forced

homer's are the best

5/26/2009 11:10:18 PM

Marge: Can we get rid of this Ayatollah T-shirt? Khomeini died years ago.
Homer: But, Marge! It works on any Ayatollah; Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi...even as we speak, Ayatollah Razmada and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power.

5/26/2009 11:12:04 PM

man i fucking love the simpsons. a million times more than family guy. futurama is a close second, however.

5/26/2009 11:12:31 PM

ok, not a quote, but one of my favorite Simpson's scenes ever:

5/26/2009 11:19:46 PM

I could call my Ma from up here...Hey Ma!!! Get off the dang roof!

5/26/2009 11:24:29 PM

The doctor says if you eat any more baby, they're gonna have to take your foot.

5/26/2009 11:27:56 PM

Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

5/26/2009 11:54:05 PM

You smell like dead bunnies.

5/26/2009 11:57:35 PM

set em up

5/26/2009 11:58:25 PM