I'm more interested in seeing if girls would date bisexual guys, or hearing about the dating experiences of guys that are bisexual or who have experimented with other guys. If you do not feel comfortable posting on here, feel free to pm. I am not the type to air dirty laundry.



Ok, so here's my story. There's this guy who I've gone out on several dates with. I really like him. He's intelligent, well-spoken, funny at times, attractive, fit, a good cook etc etc. We always have a good time when we go out, and we always do different things. He is not a movie & dinner type of date. I feel like I learn something new every time we hang out and I'm really intigued by him.

Recently, we have taken things to a more physical level. Last night we were talking about our limits and what we would and would not consider when it comes to that. All of a sudden he asks if I would consider dating someone that was bisexual. Now I consider myself pretty open minded and have a few gay friends, but I would probably feel uncomfortable dating someone who had an interest in guys, like I would never be enough. I tell him this and he says that he is not bisexual, and his reasoning is that he dates girls, but guys are fun to "play" with. His feeling is that when someone enters a monongamous relationship, they are saying I will not have sex with anyone else, and that basicaly me feeling like I wouldn't be enough is irrevelant because it's not really different than a guy who sleeps with girls only becoming interested in another girl. I somewhat understand where he is coming from, and I appreciate his honesty. I'm sure there may have been guys that I have dated, or simply just hooked up with, in the past who have had same-sex experiences, but they were just too proud or scared to admit them. I'm just still unsure of how I feel about it. What are your thoughts on it?

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 10:02 AM. Reason : .]

4/29/2009 9:51:32 AM

bisexual people are very very annoying

4/29/2009 9:56:37 AM

he's bisexual, but won't admit it? uhh warning.

4/29/2009 9:59:11 AM

Quote :

"he is not bisexual, and his reasoning is he dates girls, but guys are fun to "play" with."

I am assuming this is not the same play as in "Dogs are fun to play frisbee with".

4/29/2009 10:01:54 AM

^^ I agree. To me, if you fool around with or sleep with a member of the same sex, you have a sexual interest in them and are therefore bisexual.

4/29/2009 10:04:34 AM

there is no such thing as bisexual. You either suck dick, or you do not suck dick.

4/29/2009 10:08:17 AM

Quote :

"his reasoning is that he dates girls, but guys are fun to "play" with"

Deal breaker. For me at least... I don't know, I understand where you're coming from - I would always feel like I wasn't enough. If he's showing interests in guys obviously there's enough that intrigues him about them to cross that boundary so I don't understand how he wouldn't be tempted if he was with a girl. If that makes sense.

4/29/2009 10:24:29 AM

Did he go to UNC? Too easy. Not to sound close-minded, but I would not consider a serious relationship with someone that is bisexual. Everyone has their limits in regards to serious relationships, even though they may not publically admit it for fear of being labeled a bigot. To me, bisexuality suggests a deep underlying emotional confusion or imbalance that would hinder any chance of a serious relationship with me. This is purely personal preference and my high standards for a significant other differ greatly from how I perceive someone as a friend or colleague. Everyone is like this to a certain extent when they are really tested, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

4/29/2009 10:33:34 AM

why is it that when the topic of bisexual partners comes up, the focus always seems to circle around the bisexual one being unfaithful with another of the same sex? Do bisexual people think that "playing" with someone of the same sex doesnt compromise any hetero-relationship they are maintaining?


I'm curious


I would try to get the full scoop on this dude. If he's a good guy dont hold it against him.... but he does effectively have twice as many possible "play partners" than a straight guy

4/29/2009 10:36:04 AM

Buy a strap-on.

4/29/2009 10:39:10 AM

Quote :

"he says that he is not bisexual, and his reasoning is that he dates girls, but guys are fun to "play" with."

So he hooks up with guys but he isn't bisexual? It doesn't work that way. He is bi, he just doesn't want to admit it.

4/29/2009 10:41:05 AM

Sounds like he's bisexual.

But I don't see what the problem is as long as he stays faithful.

4/29/2009 10:42:25 AM

ok he's told you that he likes to play with dudes. this = bisexual no matter how you cut it

now, he's already told you this. so if you enter into a relationship with him, this has already been revealed. you're not allowed to hold it against him later.

sounds like he's playing it down because he's unsure of your reaction. he's bisexual, even if its mild. perhaps he likes to give hand jobs and get bjs but only wants to bang women. still bisexual.

if you're not comfortable dating someone with these tendencies, then do not enter into a relationship. its only going to be drama at some point.

4/29/2009 10:44:36 AM

...or one helluva orgy

4/29/2009 10:47:14 AM

The biggest issue here isn't the he's bisexual, but that he isn't okay with it.

I'll +1 what one, hurley, and lumex and ncsuwolfy said, and add something else:

Quote :

"but I would probably feel uncomfortable dating someone who had an interest in guys, like I would never be enough."

This makes no sense to me. You're not a man, and you shouldn't be trying to compare yourself to one, in terms of bedroom appeal. Pretty sure he can tell the difference between a man and a woman, too

Quote :

"His feeling is that when someone enters a monongamous relationship, they are saying I will not have sex with anyone else, and that basicaly me feeling like I wouldn't be enough is irrevelant because it's not really different than a guy who sleeps with girls only becoming interested in another girl."

He's absolutely correct, btw.

Quote :

"now, he's already told you this. so if you enter into a relationship with him, this has already been revealed. you're not allowed to hold it against him later."

Yes. And this goes along with how awesome you find him: he's upfront, and giving you all the information you need to make an informed decision. Be sure to thank him for this, because it's a trait that's far too rare.

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 10:49 AM. Reason : Good god, I love ncsuwolfy.]

4/29/2009 10:47:28 AM

The reasoning is this. If that dude only liked Vag, presumably she has all he needs. But, he also likes the dick, and that is something that she cannot provide to him. It depends on how bad he wants it, as to whether he could stay in a relationship without it.... that is totally dependent on the person. this is why someone dating a bisexual person would feel like there is that "something" that they can never provide for their partner, because there is.


edit: oh damn this thread is either really fast or i sat with the window open for a long time, this was is in response to hurley way up there

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 10:58 AM. Reason : ]

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 10:59 AM. Reason : cxvz]

4/29/2009 10:57:52 AM

Look, this is very simple.

There are three sexual orientations of women:

Lesbian
Bi-Sexual
Straight

And there are three sexual orientations of men:

Gay
Gay
Straight

If you are a man and you like to put penis in your mouth, you are gay.

Why this double standard, you ask? It's very simple. Being a "bi-sexual" man involves much more of a philosophical commitment than being a bi-sexual woman. Bi-sexual woman: all you have to do is kiss and lick and touch and stuff. There's no real evidence left after the fact. It's pretty much all the same stuff a guy might do, without the penis action. As a "bi-sexual" man, you have to deal with putting someone else's PENIS inside of you and the stuff that shoots out of it.

Long after your experience is done, you still have semen inside one of your orifices. This is not something that you can just shrug off and go back to liking girls.

There is no such thing as a bi-sexual man. Perhaps a whore that will drop a load wherever he can, but if he's gone so far as to try penis, and will try penis again, he's gay. Anyone who disagrees with me is automatically wrong.

4/29/2009 11:04:48 AM

^
There are two types of guys:
1) Openly straight, gay or bisexual guys.
2) Closet gay or bisexual guys like BobbyDigital that must spew homosexist trash to appear to look straight.

Quote :

"I would probably feel uncomfortable.... like I would never be enough"

Quote :

"I would always feel like I wasn't enough"

Quote :

"This makes no sense to me."

Quote :

"This makes no sense to me."

Quote :

"This makes no sense to me."

Why does bisexuality mean that someone is more likely to cheat? Oh, right -- it doesn't.

I mean, straight guys in a relationship are still attracted to other women. Just because you are in a committed relationship doesn't mean that all of a sudden you are only attracted to your significant other(s). So, if girls aren't concerned that their boyfriends are attracted to other girls, why should they be concerned that their boyfriends are attracted to other guys? As long as he doesn't cheat, what difference does it make that he's bisexual?

Quote :

"The reasoning is this. If that dude only liked Vag, presumably she has all he needs. But, he also likes the dick, and that is something that she cannot provide to him."

Neither can she provide two pussies, so why wouldn't she be equally concerned about cheating or satisfying with either a straight or bisexual guy?

Quote :

"this is why someone dating a bisexual person would feel like there is that "something" that they can never provide for their partner, because there is."

But the same could be true for straight couples. There is always "something" that they can't provide alone. I'm sorry, but this is just a bunch of female insecurity -- no better than girls who are made "uncomfortable," or "feel like they're never enough," when their boyfriend jerks off.

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 11:14 AM. Reason : ]

4/29/2009 11:11:41 AM

Alexander the Great would beg to differ. As would hordes of the ancient greeks.

4/29/2009 11:12:31 AM

I think Willy Nilly has a crush on me.

4/29/2009 11:15:30 AM

Well, I know he has had two long term relationships with girls, one for 6 years and one for 4 and a couple of shorter ones as well. And based on conversations about cheating (both of these girls had done so to an extent and he does not tolerate that) I do not feel like him being unfaithful (with a guy or a girl) would be an big issue, but I think there might always be that smidget of worry in the back of my mind.

I feel like guys who are bisexual have it worse than girls who are. We all know tons of guys who think girl on girl is hot, but I can't think of many girls who would say the same for two guys. I don't want to miss out on a great guy because he may have played sword fight with a few guys. I am no saint. I have kissed many girls and I'm sure that given the right circumstances more could have possibly happened. I don't want to be a bigot, but the thought of two guys together does gross me out.

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 11:35 AM. Reason : .]

4/29/2009 11:16:21 AM

Quote :

"There are two types of guys: 1) Openly straight, gay or bisexual guys. 2) Closet gay or bisexual guys like BobbyDigital that must spew homosexist trash to appear to look straight."

I think you forgot the third gay type.






THE ONE THE OP IS TALKING ABOUT MISTER.

4/29/2009 11:18:19 AM

Quote :

"Look, this is very simple. There are three sexual orientations of women: Lesbian Bi-Sexual Straight And there are three sexual orientations of men: Gay Gay Straight If you are a man and you like to put penis in your mouth, you are gay."

4/29/2009 11:19:48 AM

Quote :

"but I think there might always be that smidget of worry in the back of my mind. "

I hope that isn't only because he's bisexual. That is bigotry.

Quote :

"I don't want to be a bigot, but the thought of two guys together does gross me out."

Then don't think about it.

This is pretty simple: either you can't date a guy simply because he's bisexual, or you can. If you can, you do. If you can't, then you don't deserve to date an otherwise awesome guy, and won't, and the situation resolves itself.

4/29/2009 11:21:57 AM

I'm a guy, and dated a bisexual girl for a while. Sorry I can't be much help.

But I do know it was frustrating as hell. All the guys who are thinking "SWEETASS, I'LL DATE A BISEXUAL GIRL AND GET DOUBLE THE ASS" are in for a huge letdown. You might get lucky and have happen, but it sure as hell didn't happen with me. And honestly, I don't know if I would have wanted it to happen -- at least not with this girl.

She was great and almost perfect in a lot of ways, just constantly confused about a lot of things (obviously). And then there's the whole "I'm just going out with my girlfriends tonight." It'll damn near make you paranoid.

4/29/2009 11:27:20 AM

Quote :

""but I think there might always be that smidget of worry in the back of my mind. ""

I can't blame you. If I told my girl "Hey, I'm going to go hang out with 10 male friends and have some beers", she would have no reason to believe I would fool around with any of the dudes.

But if I told her previously that I played around with some dudes in the past, Yeah - she'd probably worry about me juggling some balls.

4/29/2009 11:30:58 AM

no if she wanted to date both me and a girl at the same time

yes if she was only into me for our time together

4/29/2009 11:35:54 AM

I've been with girls who have fooled around with other girls, sure, but never one who was openly bi.

That said, I think I'd be fine with it. So what I didn't satisfy all of her needs ? Go lick as much cat as you want. I'd have no problem with her hooking up with other girls. I think it would actually reduce the chances of her hooking up with another guy, because she was already getting a steady diet of cock from me, so she'd need some cunt to balance it out.

With dudes, I'm with Bobby in the opinion that a dude can't really be bi. No matter how many girls you bang, if you suck 1 cock, you're a faggot, and nothing you do can ever change that.

4/29/2009 11:50:38 AM

Yes, that'd be pretty hot actually. It would mean I might get a chance at guy-guy-girl threesome.

4/29/2009 11:51:10 AM

In that situation, two otherwise straight dudes might fuck each other just so they wouldn't have to fuck you

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 11:56 AM. Reason : x]

4/29/2009 11:56:11 AM

ahahahaha that's +2 from slaver today

4/29/2009 12:05:09 PM

I agree Slaver is winning today

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 12:18 PM. Reason : r]

4/29/2009 12:18:02 PM

I have been with 3 girls who were bisexual. It's pretty hot.

I can't imagine any woman could be with a bisexual dude though.

4/29/2009 12:24:33 PM

A man can build 1,000 bridges and suck one dick, and to the world he is not a bridge builder...he's a cocksucker

4/29/2009 12:36:13 PM

^ Which comedian did you steal that one from?

4/29/2009 12:38:21 PM

Quote :

"There are three sexual orientations of women: Lesbian Bi-Sexual Straight And there are three sexual orientations of men: Gay Gay Straight "

I disagree. This viewpoint writes off the female's role in a sexual relationship as completely irrelevant. You're saying that a penis is the only body part that can commit a legitimate sexual act. Freud would be so proud.

4/29/2009 12:45:42 PM

no, i think he is just saying that a bi-sexual man is just a fag that fucks chicks every once and a while.

4/29/2009 12:48:25 PM

I'd argue that if a man kissed another man in an intimate manner he's gay, no matter if both were wearing eight pairs of pants.

4/29/2009 12:50:44 PM

^^
And he's wrong.
There's no such thing as a "fag that fucks chicks" because as soon as a gay guy fucks a chick, he's no longer a gay guy -- he's a bisexual guy.
You all that are agreeing with BobbyDigital are simply chest-beating sexists.

^^^
Well put.

4/29/2009 12:53:12 PM

spoken like a true homosexual

thinking that a man who fucks other men is gay (regardless of whether he also fucks women) doesn't make me a sexist, it makes me a realist.

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 12:57 PM. Reason : a]

4/29/2009 12:55:41 PM

Quote :

"a bi-sexual man is just a fag that fucks chicks every once and a while."

(beats chest)

4/29/2009 1:00:02 PM

Quote :

"Yes, that'd be pretty hot actually. It would mean I might get a chance at guy-guy-girl threesome."

I get the guy's phone number first!

4/29/2009 1:01:49 PM

Pick a side, stay on that side is how I usually like my dates to be.

Although, I know this is cliche (maybe even discriminatory?) but I would be happier with a bisexual woman than a bisexual man. Hmmm yeah, def.

4/29/2009 1:29:57 PM

well hello there

4/29/2009 1:32:24 PM

sarahjane, think of the possibilities. You could get 2 bi guys! Double your pleasure, double your fun.

4/29/2009 1:38:43 PM

so you would honestly get turned on by watching a man fuck another man in the ass?

4/29/2009 1:39:52 PM

Quote :

" Look, this is very simple. There are three sexual orientations of women: Lesbian Bi-Sexual Straight And there are three sexual orientations of men: Gay Gay Straight If you are a man and you like to put penis in your mouth, you are gay. Why this double standard, you ask? It's very simple. Being a "bi-sexual" man involves much more of a philosophical commitment than being a bi-sexual woman. Bi-sexual woman: all you have to do is kiss and lick and touch and stuff. There's no real evidence left after the fact. It's pretty much all the same stuff a guy might do, without the penis action. As a "bi-sexual" man, you have to deal with putting someone else's PENIS inside of you and the stuff that shoots out of it. Long after your experience is done, you still have semen inside one of your orifices. This is not something that you can just shrug off and go back to liking girls. There is no such thing as a bi-sexual man. Perhaps a whore that will drop a load wherever he can, but if he's gone so far as to try penis, and will try penis again, he's gay. Anyone who disagrees with me is automatically wrong.<!-- "

Speaks the Truth

4/29/2009 1:44:17 PM

lol at the chest-beating

4/29/2009 1:48:48 PM

Quote :

"so you would honestly get turned on by watching a man fuck another man in the ass?"

Why wouldn't I? I'm more interested in experimentation and fun than excessive American homophobia.

4/29/2009 1:49:22 PM

Quote :

"there is no such thing as bisexual. You either suck dick, or you do not suck dick."

4/29/2009 2:12:54 PM