Quote :

"thanks man, not atm NOT ASS TO MOUTH"

MY FRIEND AND I WERE FIXING THIS DUDE'S COMPUTER ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO.

THIS DUDE WAS AN IDIOT, HE WAS ALSO EXTREMELY FAT, DIRTY AND HE NEVER BRUSHED HIS TEETH (THEY WERE AS YELLOW AS I'VE EVER SEEN TEETH GET). SOMEHOW HE HAD DELETED ALL KINDS OF SHIT THAT WAS CRITICAL TO THE COMPUTER'S FUNCTIONING. WE RE-INSTALLED THAT SHIT AND DOWNLOADED A BUNCH OF NEW DRIVERS AND UPDATED ALL OF HIS SHIT.

WELL, WE HAD DOWNLOADED SOMETHING AND WE WENT TO OPEN IT. IT WENT TO THE DEFAULT DOWNLOAD FOLDER, WHICH WAS "VIDEOS" OR SOME SHIT.

OF COURSE HE HAD MULTIPLE EPISODES OF ASS TO MOUTH STORED IN THERE. THE SICK THING IS, HIS GF AND HE ARE STUPIDLY FAT AND GROSS.

THIS IS THE SAME GUY WHO HAD THE HUGE DIARRHEA PILE IN HIS TOILET AND REFUSED TO FLUSH IT "BECAUSE IT WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND'S DIARRHEA AND SHE WAS AT FAULT FOR LEAVING IT THERE" (SHE WAS AT WORK AND OBVIOUSLY COULDN'T FLUSH THE TOILET). THIS PILE WAS SO LARGE THAT IT STUCK UP ABOVE THE WATER LINE. IT'S STILL THE BIGGEST LOOSE DUMP I'VE EVER SEEN, ONLY A 300LB GIRL WHO IS 5'3" TALL (IN OTHER WORDS, SHE IS SHAPED LIKE A SPHERE) COULD PRODUCE THIS SIZE RHEE RHEE PILE. SO I HAD TO GO PISS OUTSIDE BECAUSE I WASN'T GOING TO SPLASH A DIARRHEA PILE ONTO MY LEGS.


ANYWAY, THINKING ABOUT ASS TO MOUTH AND HIS GIRLFRIEND'S MASSIVE RHEE RHEE PILE WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME GAG.

11/11/2008 8:56:04 PM

tl;dr

11/11/2008 8:56:57 PM

10/10, B.

11/11/2008 8:57:09 PM

omg. i know this guy. seriously, he's so disturbing. hahahahaah.

11/11/2008 9:02:54 PM

not enough emphasis with caps

quick, switch to bold

11/11/2008 9:03:16 PM

THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC STORY I'VE EVER READ

11/11/2008 9:15:05 PM

Rhee Rhee?

11/11/2008 9:16:54 PM

PLEASE REGALE ME WITH MORE STORIES OF SOME FAT CHICKS EPIC TURDS

11/11/2008 9:18:24 PM

what were you doing fixing his computer and using his bathroom?

11/11/2008 9:18:37 PM

TWO SEPARATE INCIDENTS SON.

11/11/2008 9:19:41 PM

you and another dude?

[Edited on November 11, 2008 at 9:21 PM. Reason : three dudes?]

11/11/2008 9:20:13 PM

ONE INCIDENT WAS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO LEARN TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM SON?

11/11/2008 9:20:24 PM

THE RHEE RHEE PILE ENSURED THAT I NEVER WENT TO HIS HOME TO PICK UP THE COMPUTER AGAIN SON.

THE ASS TO MOUTH WAS AN UNFORTUNATE SIDE EFFECT OF MAKING MONEY OFF OF THIS DUDE.

HE CONSTANTLY RUINED HIS COMPUTER AND IT DOESN'T WORK AT ALL NOW. INSTEAD OF REPLACING FAILED PARTS UNDER WARRANTY, HE JUST THREW IT IN THE CORNER, LOL. HE ALWAYS BLAMED HIS FAMILY FOR RUINING THEIR OTHER COMPUTER, BUT THEN HE RUINED HIS TOO. I KNEW IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG SON. HE FUCKS UP EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES APPARENTLY.

11/11/2008 9:22:37 PM

you assed to mouthed another dude?

11/11/2008 9:24:01 PM

Quote :

"OF COURSE HE HAD MULTIPLE EPISODES OF ASS TO MOUTH STORED IN THERE."

11/11/2008 9:24:43 PM

i cant believe i read this

11/11/2008 9:24:47 PM

^^^^you forgot SON at the very end of your statement SON



[Edited on November 11, 2008 at 9:25 PM. Reason : ^^^]

11/11/2008 9:24:51 PM

^^ I CAN.


YOU MESSAGE AND THEN YOU DON'T RESPOND TO THE RESPONSE SON.

YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL SON!!!

11/11/2008 9:29:42 PM

La computadora están descompuestos.

11/11/2008 9:31:19 PM

so how much did he pay you to toss his shit?

[Edited on November 11, 2008 at 9:32 PM. Reason : w]

11/11/2008 9:31:21 PM

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SHIT SON? DID IT EVER GET FLUSHED? I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT!

11/11/2008 9:32:04 PM

IT STAYED THERE UNTIL HIS NASTY GIRLFRIEND GOT HOME I GUESS.

HELL, THAT RHEE RHEE MAY STILL BE THERE SON. HE WASN'T GOING TO FLUSH IT AND I BELIEVE HE'D BE WILLING TO SHIT OFF HIS BACK DECK INSTEAD OF USING THE TOILET. UNLESS SHE FLUSHED IT, IT DIDN'T GET FLUSHED.

IT WAS A HUGE LOOSE PILE SON. THE SMELL WAS WORSE THAN ANY OTHER SHIT I'VE ENCOUNTERED. THAT'S THE GOD DAMNED TRUTH SON. IT WAS THAT KIND OF SCENT THAT ONLY A LOOSE, HIGH SURFACE AREA RHEE RHEE COULD PRODUCE.

11/11/2008 9:34:14 PM

one time I snaked some used tampons out of a diarrhea-filled toilet



they got stuck on the end of the snake and I had to pull them off

11/11/2008 9:36:58 PM

WHY WOULD YOU SNAKE A FUCKIN RHEE PILE?!

11/11/2008 9:37:30 PM

are you still talking about your assplay party with your dude friends?

11/11/2008 9:38:18 PM

I tried liquid plumber, in spite of the directions not to use it on clogged toilets

it was pretty much a wad of improperly-disposed-of used tampons clogging it up, though. ultimately the liquid plumber's primary effect was to make the shit foam up as well as stink.

[Edited on November 11, 2008 at 9:41 PM. Reason : .]

11/11/2008 9:40:10 PM

YOU SNAKED A FOAMED RHEE PILE?!!?!?!?!

11/11/2008 9:41:04 PM

11/11/2008 9:42:17 PM

SNAKIN DAT RHEE

11/11/2008 10:07:53 PM

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU GOD DAMNED METROS?

READ THIS SHIT BITCH.

11/11/2008 11:45:40 PM

Quote :

"RHEE RHEE PILE"

11/11/2008 11:47:23 PM

Quote :

"ONLY A LOOSE, HIGH SURFACE AREA RHEE RHEE COULD PRODUCE."

There is something vaguely militaristic about this description. Like i can imagine a guy in camo on a radio going "go confirmed, we have clearance to drop the L.H.S.A.R.R" he'd pronounce it "L-SAR"

11/11/2008 11:51:07 PM

COPY THAT---DO NOT ENGAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11/11/2008 11:52:46 PM

BEST STORY IVE READ ALL DAY!

11/11/2008 11:53:56 PM

10/10 would lol again

11/11/2008 11:59:41 PM

WHATUP SON?

11/12/2008 12:53:50 AM

best lol of the day.

11/12/2008 12:58:56 AM

11/12/2008 12:59:32 AM

HALLUM SON.

11/12/2008 9:26:45 AM

i bet this person was a tdubber

11/12/2008 9:28:35 AM

he's not a tdubber. lololololol

11/12/2008 12:16:39 PM

WE NEED MORE OF SAABTURBO'S DOO DOO STORIES TO GET EVERYONE TO STOP TALKING ABOUT THE NAACP

11/12/2008 12:18:43 PM

ick

11/12/2008 12:20:44 PM

OH, ONE TIME MY COUSIN AND I WERE AT TARGET WITH OUR GRANDMA. SHE HAD DRIVEN US THERE AND WE WENT OFF AND STARTED WALKING AROUND.

SO WE GRABBED A PS2 MEMORY CARD AND CARRIED IT AROUND THE STORE IN A HIDDEN MANNER. WE TOLD MY GRANDMA THAT WE NEEDED TO LEAVE BECAUSE WE WERE GOING TO MISS SOME TV SHOW OR SOME SHIT. BUT WE TOLD HER THAT WE HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM FIRST.

SO HE TOOK IT INTO THE BATHROOM AND I WENT AS WELL. THE LAYOUT OF THE BATHROOM WAS AS FOLLOWS:

YOU ENTERED AT ONE END OF THE BATHROOM AND TURNED RIGHT. FIRST YOU ENCOUNTERED A ROW OF 4 URINALS ON THE LEFT WALL AND THE SINKS WERE ON THE RIGHT WALL. PAST THE URINALS ON THE LEFT WALL WERE TWO STALLS.

I WALKED UP TO THE FOURTH URINAL. THIS WAS THE ONE AT THE END, NEXT TO THE FIRST STALL.

WELL, MY COUSIN TOOK THE PACKAGE WITH THE MEMORY CARD INTO THE FARTHEST STALL DOWN (THE HANDICAPPED STALL) AND HE STARTED TO CUT IT OUT OF THE BOX WITH A POCKET KNIFE. I NOTICED THAT THERE WAS A GUY TAKING A DUMP IN THE STALL TO MY RIGHT (HE WAS DIRECTLY BETWEEN US).

THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I HEARD A [CLICK] AND A [SKURRRRRRRRRRR] AND I NOTICED THE MEMORY CARD WAS RIGHT BEHIND THE DUDE'S RIGHT FOOT (I COULD SEE IT FROM MY SIDE OF HIS STALL!!!)!! I WAS LIKE "FUCK" SO I REACHED UNDER HIS STALL WALL AND GRABBED THE MEMORY CARD. I IMMEDIATELY HEARD HIM START GRUNTING AND MOVING AROUND RESTLESSLY. HE JERKED THE TOILET PAPER ROLL SO HARD IT WENT [BUDUHBUDUHBUDUHBUDUHBUDUH] AS IT UNRAVELED EXTREMELY QUICKLY.

MY COUSIN RAN OUT OF THE FAR STALL AND HIS FACE WAS RED AS HELL, I SHOWED HIM THAT I'D PICKED IT UP AND WE STARTED LAUGHING EXTREMELY HARD. WE IMMEDIATELY HELD BACK OUR LAUGHTER AND QUICKLY GOT OUT OF THE BATHROOM TO FIND OUR GRANDMA. SHE WAS RIGHT THERE AND WE SAID TO HER "WE'VE GOT TO GO, NOW!!"

WE GOT THE KEYS FROM HER AND RAN OUT TO THE CAR, GOT IN IT AND WAITED (SHE TOOK ABOUT 2 MINUTES TO GET THERE). BEFORE SHE GOT THERE, A NUMBER OF TARGET EMPLOYEES WITH WALKIE TALKIE'S RAN OUT AND STARTED GOING ALL AROUND THE PARKING LOT LOOKING FOR US. THE GUY IN THE BATHROOM TOLD THEM WHAT HAD HAPPENED. ONE OF THEM WALKED AROUND THE VAN WE WERE IN AND STARED ME RIGHT IN THE EYE. I JUST STARED BACK AT HIM WITH A "WTF?" KIND OF LOOK ON MY FACE AND HE KEPT GOING. WHEN SHE GOT IN WE WERE LIKE "GO!! GO!! GO!! GO!!"

SHE NEVER DID FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT, LOL.

11/12/2008 12:32:44 PM

hey i remember posting that!!

im flattered i got a thread out of it

11/12/2008 12:38:00 PM

THEN ONE TIME WHEN I WAS ON A CRUISE MY STEP BROTHER AND I REALLY HAD TO PISS.

WE WERE DOWNSTAIRS AND THERE WAS SOME BATHROOM THAT WE FOUND. WELL, WE WENT IN AND REALIZED THAT IT WAS THE MOST RETARDED BATHROOM EVER MADE. THERE WAS ONLY ONE TOILET IN THE BATHROOM, BUT THE TOILET WAS IN A FUCKING STALL!!

I RAN INTO THE STALL FIRST AND HE WAS LIKE "FUCK DUDE, I'M ABOUT TO PISS MYSELF!!!!"

SO I WAS LIKE, "DUDE, JUST PISS IN THE SINK."

WELL, THE DOOR HAD NO LOCK ON IT, BUT HE WAS LIKE "ALRIGHT MAN, FUCK IT."

SO HE PISSED IN THE SINK WHILE I PISSED IN THE TOILET SON.

11/12/2008 12:39:31 PM

Quote :

"HE JERKED THE TOILET PAPER ROLL SO HARD IT WENT [BUDUHBUDUHBUDUHBUDUHBUDUH] AS IT UNRAVELED EXTREMELY QUICKLY."

A+ use of imagery will read again!

11/12/2008 12:39:44 PM

I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN TO THE HARDEES IN LILLINGTON, BUT THAT PLACE HAS A HISTORY OF RHEE RHEE'S.

THEY HAVE INDUSTRIAL STYLE TOILETS THAT HAVE NO RESERVOIR ON THE BACK AND NO TOILET LID, JUST A MOVABLE TOILET SEAT. FOR THE PLUMBING THERE'S JUST A PIPE COMING OUT OF THE WALL WHICH MAKES A 90 DEGREE BEND AND GOES INTO THE BACK PART OF THE TOILET. AT THE 90 DEGREE BEND THERE'S A FITTING WITH A HANDLE ON IT TO FLUSH THE TOILET. I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL SEEN THESE TOILETS. IN CASE YOU STILL CAN'T IMAGINE IT, THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:



WELL, I ONCE WENT IN THAT HARDEES TO FIND THE WORST INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT I'VE EVER SEEN TO BE HONEST.

I TRIED TO RECREATE THE ACCIDENT SCENE THE BEST I COULD AND I CAME UP WITH THE FOLLOWING SCENARIO. A 275LB MALE CONSTRUCTION WORKER HAD EATEN TWO PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS THE NIGHT BEFORE. HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO WORK WHEN HE REALIZED HE HAD RHEE RHEE. HE STOPPED AT THE HARDEES AND RAN IN, HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE BATHROOM. HE RAN INTO THE BATHROOM AND BURST INTO THE STALL, VIOLENTLY STRUGGLING TO RELEASE HIS BELT, BUTTON AND FLY BEFORE HE HEAVILY LOOSE PILED HIMSELF. HE HAD TROUBLE WITH THE BELT AND THE BUTTON, WHICH LOST HIM HIS LAST PRECIOUS SECONDS.

AS HE GOT HIS PANTS DOWN HE SIMULTANEOUSLY TRIED TO SIT DOWN AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE SWIFT MOTION, WHICH WOULD HOPEFULLY END UP WITH THE LOOSE PILE IN THE TOILET. UNFORTUNATELY THE BELT HAD COST HIM TOO MUCH TIME AND AS HE BENT FORWARD TO SIT DOWN HE HAD WHAT I REFER TO AS A "LONG POP FART." THIS CAUSED AN IMMEDIATE BLOWOUT OF LOOSE PILE RHEE ALL OVER THE WALL, FLOOR AND PLUMBING OF THE TOILET.

HE WAS SURPRISED WITH THE FEROCITY OF THE LONG POP AND AFTER FEELING IT OUT FOR A MOMENT HE REALIZED ALL OF THE RHEE WAS GONE. SINCE HE WAS NOW FINISHED DUMPING LOOSE PILE, HE SIMPLY WIPED HIS ASS AND LEFT THE BATHROOM THAT WAY. THE HARDEES EMPLOYEES REFUSED TO CLEAN IT BECAUSE OF THEIR LOW WAGES AND LAST I HEARD THEY HAD TO CALL IN Arab13 TO HANDLE IT.

11/12/2008 12:56:34 PM

lololol

11/12/2008 1:02:03 PM

JUST SO YOU KNOW, THESE FOUR SHORT STORIES WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE IN ABOUT ONE MONTH. THE BOOK IS ENTITLED "LOOSE PILE RHEE RHEES OF THE LATE 20TH CENTURY."

THE SHORT STORIES HAVE FINALLY BEEN NAMED!!!

1. RHEE RHEE
2. TARGET MEMORY
3. SINK WETTER
4. INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT

11/12/2008 1:15:04 PM