I'd prefer not to get into the details on the COD but it was untimely and unnatural, and had a very bad impact on my sister. She is a 25-year-old widow.

I wasn't too sure on what to do for or with her to help her get by the day which will be coming up on the 13th. I am a photographer and have already provided her with all the photos of her late husband on CD, as well as all wedding photos, photos of him and his band performing, and other nice 8x10 arrangements which she keeps framed. I know she had tried for a full year to survive in his memory and to grow "used" to a life without him, so I don't want to rekindle all of those aweful memories she must have from the months following his funeral. I'd like to present her something more of an inspiration and a forward-moving gift that will help the day to run smoothely and painlessly.

One factor that will definately be involved is that she is seeing someone new, and does not feel comfortable discussing it with our parents or her close friends.

Any ideas?

8/2/2008 2:44:03 AM

just a thought, but instead of recognizing his death, why not make it a tradition to celebrate his birthday with her. go out to lunch, see a movie, do whatever but something together.

in the case of the anniversary of his death coming up, i understand its too soon for that to go unrecognized. perhaps a phone call to check in on her, ask her how shes doing and if she wants to talk about anything. make yourself available for the day if you can, sort of let her take the lead with it.

of course all this depends on the relationship with your sister.

you could also go for something symbolic and give her a plant that she can plant and nurture and each year you give her a new plant or flowers or whatever. that way you can make it a tradition that is low key but meaningful.

8/2/2008 2:51:05 AM

Muffin basket?

8/2/2008 3:06:07 AM

She and I don't get along at all, but I will make it a point to be available on that day. After his death she moved in with our parents, and I did as well after I broke up with the guy I was with. Although we live under the same roof, she avoids me a lot, so it's hard to be able to talk with her.

I like the plant idea.

8/2/2008 3:07:51 AM

in the case of the anniversary of his death coming up, i understand its too soon for that to go unrecognized. perhaps a phone call to check in on her, ask her how shes doing and if she wants to talk about anything. make yourself available for the day if you can, sort of let her take the lead with it.

8/2/2008 3:34:20 AM

Any other ideas?

8/3/2008 12:58:22 AM

Just offer to do something with her and keep her occupied. She may not want to go out but its probably best to keep her mind off things. Maybe a nice dinner with the fam or something

8/3/2008 1:14:36 AM

Hallmark, FTW.

8/4/2008 1:09:42 AM