Here's a good way to start off a Monday morning... thought you guys might enjoy it.


The Two Cow Theory

The "TWO-COW THEORY" of what makes...

A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to
your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing
you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for
then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You
feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you
with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the
milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to
the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who
has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull,
and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the
milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow
drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows...you think. You don't really know
what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have two cows, plus another 4,998 cows --
none of which belong to you. You charge for storing them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership
with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American
corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

THE TALIBAN: You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan
"countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.

5/5/2008 9:23:35 AM

My dad used to send me email forwards like this.

That's why he's on my spam blacklist.

5/5/2008 9:30:27 AM

Guess how I got this info... haha...


I have two spam e-mails. I keep one and give one to the soapbox.

5/5/2008 9:34:20 AM

From: Martin Luther
Subject: Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw: 95 Reasons the Catholic Church Sucks LOL!1!1!

5/5/2008 9:43:47 AM

5/5/2008 9:48:26 AM

Quote :

"AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows have been outsourced to you. You worship them."

5/5/2008 9:51:38 AM

reminds me of the "Shit" poster at FYE

5/5/2008 9:54:32 AM

dang hotlinking

5/5/2008 11:18:53 AM

Quote :

"From: Martin Luther Subject: Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw: 95 Reasons the Catholic Church Sucks LOL!1!1!"

hahahahahahha

5/5/2008 12:49:13 PM

I laughed twice:

Quote :

"AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch."

and

Quote :

"From: Martin Luther Subject: Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw: 95 Reasons the Catholic Church Sucks LOL!1!1!"

5/5/2008 1:10:22 PM

Quote :

"CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows."

We can plant a house.
We can build a tree.

5/5/2008 1:36:06 PM

I loled

5/5/2008 1:50:05 PM

some of those are sadly accurate

5/6/2008 2:32:59 PM

hillary and obama aren't really democrat

they are mainly socialist

5/6/2008 7:27:47 PM

Democrats in this country are actually remarkably right-wing compared to other developed, intelligent countries.

Hope this helps.

5/6/2008 7:29:43 PM