http://www.nbc10.com/news/15734256/detail.html

Quote :

" BELLEVUE, Ohio -- Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table. Police arrested Arthur Price Jr. after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act. According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck. During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex. Price faces four counts of public indecency. He was freed after posting $20,000 bond, authorities said."

wat

3/31/2008 1:16:38 PM

...

3/31/2008 1:17:08 PM

The table was asking for it!

3/31/2008 1:17:27 PM

3/31/2008 1:17:32 PM

someone was all like

FUCK THAT TABLE

and dude was like

k

3/31/2008 1:17:41 PM

Well at least he cleaned up after himself.

3/31/2008 1:18:04 PM

at least he cleaned it afterwards

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 1:19 PM. Reason : too slow]

3/31/2008 1:18:45 PM

I GOT THESE 3 DVD'S MAN ITS SOME HOT SHIT

3/31/2008 1:18:49 PM

Quote :

"an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act."

How the fuck do you end up making three dvd's of someone fucking a table and THEN deciding it's abnormal?

3/31/2008 1:19:35 PM

was the table hot as fuck at least?

3/31/2008 1:19:53 PM

Surely there is video on the internets.

3/31/2008 1:21:47 PM

How much clean up would there be?

I mean, he would have to fuck one of the gaps in the table, thus having his glans on the other side.

This would make him ejaculate on the other side of the table, not on it, requiring little to no clean up.

Unless when he pulled his spent cock out thru the gap, some of the cum residue left on his glans made its way onto the table...

3/31/2008 1:22:52 PM

Maybe he likes to pull out and skeet on the table and then tell it how dirty it is.

3/31/2008 1:26:32 PM

Quote :

"How much clean up would there be? I mean, he would have to fuck one of the gaps in the table, thus having his glans on the other side. This would make him ejaculate on the other side of the table, not on it, requiring little to no clean up. Unless when he pulled his spent cock out thru the gap, some of the cum residue left on his glans made its way onto the table..."

it saddens me to think you spent this much time thinking about it

3/31/2008 1:27:13 PM

Fox news said it is a metal table and he fucked the umbrella hole.


Someone PLEASE make a Chris Hansen pic with him saying "please have a seat over there" and some table crying in the background.

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 1:28 PM. Reason : vc]

3/31/2008 1:27:15 PM

fox news to the rescue!

3/31/2008 1:27:58 PM

Quote :

"How much clean up would there be?"

Maybe he was being considerate and sanitized everything?

3/31/2008 1:28:02 PM

Let it be known that Evan has admitted in a separate thread that he is the culprit who was fucking the tables

3/31/2008 1:28:59 PM

#34

3/31/2008 1:30:08 PM

Quote :

"How much clean up would there be? I mean, he would have to fuck one of the gaps in the table, thus having his glans on the other side. This would make him ejaculate on the other side of the table, not on it, requiring little to no clean up. Unless when he pulled his spent cock out thru the gap, some of the cum residue left on his glans made its way onto the table..."

well he tilted it on its side so it probably ran down the opposite side.

how did this work? i guess it was a table with a hole for an umbrella in the middle...?

3/31/2008 1:30:28 PM

^

Quote :

"Fox news said it is a metal table and he fucked the umbrella hole."

3/31/2008 1:31:00 PM

Quote :

"how did this work? i guess it was a table with a hole for an umbrella in the middle...?"

Quote :

"Fox news said it is a metal table and he fucked the umbrella hole. "

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 1:31 PM. Reason : ^GMTA]

3/31/2008 1:31:08 PM

direct all your filthy questions to Evan

3/31/2008 1:31:26 PM

3/31/2008 1:32:19 PM

Quote :

"Fox news said it is a metal table and he fucked the umbrella hole."

ah, ok. i was typing my first reply (and showing the article to coworkers) while that piece of info was posted.

3/31/2008 1:33:07 PM

Some of those umbrella holes are rather wide

He must have had a thick cock, or supplemented the whole with some sort of padding (greased rags, perhaps) to made the hole narrower and reduce the chafing from the metal on his penis

3/31/2008 1:33:26 PM

so i wonder at what time this guy figured out that the umbrella hole was the perfect size to slide his cock into. how wierd!!

3/31/2008 1:34:49 PM

Why did his bond cost 20k?

3/31/2008 1:35:13 PM

god only knows what else he's putting his dick in

3/31/2008 1:35:55 PM

wat? people in ohio are fucking stupid. I bet this dude was a buckeye fan.

3/31/2008 1:35:57 PM

Quote :

"he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex."

3/31/2008 1:36:07 PM

I wonder if he sings the umbrella song when he pounds it

Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh

3/31/2008 1:36:10 PM

Quote :

"Why did his bond cost 20k?"

Where do you think the sheriff eats his lunch on sunny days?

3/31/2008 1:36:17 PM

I bet a lot of people will be trying this now

3/31/2008 1:36:36 PM

I hope he at least things of Rhianna when he fucks it

3/31/2008 1:36:55 PM

he's probably thinking "oh i'm fucking this table, oh yeah"

3/31/2008 1:37:54 PM

You know they're gonna lock him up with some poor chair...

3/31/2008 1:38:45 PM

Quote :

"I bet a lot of people will be trying this now"

i kind of want to just to see if my cock will fit in the umbrella hole.

3/31/2008 1:38:45 PM

there will now be a wave of table fucking across the nation

3/31/2008 1:39:29 PM

The difference between me and this anonymous tipster is that I would have shot him with a BB gun right in the middle of his act and sold the video to break.com for $400.

3/31/2008 1:40:17 PM

this is totally false. it takes two humans to have sex, not one human and an inanimate object.

3/31/2008 1:40:32 PM

3/31/2008 1:40:44 PM

i swear there was a thread about this yesterday

3/31/2008 1:45:01 PM

deja vu?

3/31/2008 1:46:03 PM

Quote :

"I bet this dude was a buckeye fan."

3/31/2008 1:46:09 PM

nasty motherfucker

3/31/2008 1:46:28 PM

3/31/2008 1:46:58 PM

here is a picture of his nasty ass too:

3/31/2008 1:47:08 PM

Holy shit, married with three kids! From some UK paper.....

Quote :

"A married father of three faces indecency charges after allegedly having sex with a picnic table. Art Price Jr, 40, was seen doing the dirty with the garden furniture at his home in Bellevue, Ohio, on four occasions by a neighbour. The neighbour, who hasn't been named, says that he saw Mr Price turning the table over before performing the sex acts on it. Police officer Matt Johnson said: 'He was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table.' Just to add a touch of class to his furniture-copulation, Price reportedly carried out his naked table-boffing in broad daylight, very close to a local school. The fourth time, the neighbour videotaped the alleged table-sexing as evidence. Officer Johnson commented: 'Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around.'"

3/31/2008 1:55:00 PM

maybe it was 4chan

but i know i saw this like, friday

3/31/2008 1:56:41 PM