http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20080320/sc_livescience/cluelessguyscantreadwomen

Quote :

" More often than not, guys interpret even friendly cues, such as a subtle smile from a gal, as a sexual come-on, and a new study discovers why: Guys are clueless. ADVERTISEMENT More precisely, they are somewhat oblivious to the emotional subtleties of non-verbal cues, according to a new study of college students. "Young men just find it difficult to tell the difference between women who are being friendly and women who are interested in something more," said lead researcher Coreen Farris of Indiana University's Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences. This "lost in translation" phenomenon plays out in the real world, with about 70 percent of college women reporting an experience in which a guy mistook her friendliness for a sexual come-on, Farris said. Some might think the results come down to "boys being boys," and so even the slightest female interest sparks sexual fantasy. But the study, to be detailed in the April issue of the journal Psychological Science, also found that it goes both ways for guys - they mistake females' sexual signals as friendly ones. The researchers suggest guys have trouble noticing and interpreting the subtleties of non-verbal cues, in either direction. The study's funding came from the National Institutes of Mental Health and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Flirting or not? To unravel it all, Farris and her colleagues examined non-verbal communication in a group of 280 undergraduates, both men and women with an average age of 20 years old. The students viewed images of women on a computer screen and had to categorize each as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting. Each student reported on 280 photographs, which had been sorted previously into one of the categories based on surveys completed by different groups of students. Overall, women categorized more images correctly than men did. When it came to friendly gestures, men were more likely than women to interpret these to mean sexual interest. More surprising, the researchers found guys were also confused by sexual cues. When images of gals meant to show allure flashed onto the screen, male students mistook the allure as amicable signals. So ladies trying to brush off a guy at work or the gym may need to be, uh, more direct. Men in the study also had more trouble than women distinguishing between sadness and rejection. Programmed for sex The results help to tease out the underlying causes of guys' flirt-or-not mistakes. One common explanation for reports of men taking a friendly gesture as "she wants me," is based on men's inherent interest in sex, which is thought to result from their biology as well as their upbringing. Following this idea, men and women would be aware of the same behavioral cues, but men would have a lower threshold for what qualifies as sexual interest. In contrast, women would wait for compelling evidence before labeling a behavior as sexual interest. However, Farris and her colleagues didn't find this to be the case. Rather than seeing the world through sex-colored glasses, men seemed just to have blurry vision of sorts, overall. For instance, the college guys sometimes mistook sexual advances as pal-like gestures. "I would say that there are many factors that could relate to men demonstrating insensitivity to women's subtle non-verbal cues," said Pamela McAuslan, associate professor of psychology at the University of Michigan-Dearborn, who was not involved in the current study. These factors would include socialization, gender roles and gender stereotypes, she said. For instance, "women are supposed to be the communicators, concerned with relationships and others ... men are supposed to be less concerned with communication and to be constantly alert for sexual opportunities," McAuslan said. "This could mean that men in general may be less sensitive to subtle non-verbal behavior than women." That doesn't mean such men can't learn to read cues or that all men are clueless decoders of women's gestures. "These are average differences. Some men are very skilled at reading affective cues," Farris told LiveScience, "and some women find the task challenging." "

had to fit the title somehow.

3/20/2008 11:52:32 AM

now to wait for young men to defend them selves

[Edited on March 20, 2008 at 12:06 PM. Reason : ]

3/20/2008 11:53:08 AM

Quote :

"had to fit the title somehow."

that's what i thought when i read it : poor baonest

3/20/2008 11:53:32 AM

I could've told you this

shoot any female who works in serving or retail could tell you this

shoot anyone who reads TWW could tell you this ("that waitress totally digs me," etc)

3/20/2008 12:01:34 PM

I assumed Jen made it

3/20/2008 12:02:31 PM

shoot anyone past puberty could have told you this

3/20/2008 12:02:41 PM

ha ha yes

3/20/2008 12:03:38 PM

they needed a study to conclude this?

3/20/2008 12:05:04 PM

Quote :

"anyone past puberty could have told you this"

3/20/2008 12:05:13 PM

wow, what a fucking waste of research funds. this is intrinsic knowledge - no study required, except if you want to waste funds.

3/20/2008 12:07:47 PM

blah blah blah

3/20/2008 12:10:21 PM

Quote :

"shoot any female who works in serving or retail could tell you this"

I've always held to the philosophy that hitting on any woman while she's working and I'm a customer is a bad idea.

3/20/2008 12:10:27 PM

I can attest to this fact.

But I was a fat, desperate virgin from DC, transplanted to the South, not used to women being conversationally friendly.

3/20/2008 12:10:29 PM

I remember when I was dating this one girl, she used to keep Cosmo in a magazine basket next to the toilet. So, while I was enjoying my more deficatory (word?) moments, I'd read her magazines. I'll never forget the time when I read the "Guy's Perspective" column where the guy said, "we don't know what the signs are. You might be interested when you run your hand through your hair, you might just have something in your eye, we really don't know."

Of course two pages later in the "How to Score the Man of Your Dreams" what is tip number 3? "Show him the signs."


I swear, sometimes its a wonder we mate at all . . .

3/20/2008 12:11:41 PM

Quote :

"I've always held to the philosophy that hitting on any woman while she's working and I'm a customer is a bad idea."

not really. it just all depends, but i do agree, in general.

3/20/2008 12:12:04 PM

Quote :

"The students viewed images of women on a computer screen and had to categorize each as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting. Each student reported on 280 photographs, which had been sorted previously into one of the categories based on surveys completed by different groups of students."

I disagree with this methodology. Nonverbal cues are so contextual... ESPECIALLY when, say, there is alcohol involved. A person (male or female) may use certain body language with a lot of people and thus it is hard to pin down whether it is a "sign of interest" or not. And once again, when you throw booze into the mix it throws everything off. And half the time the male and the female are at least somewhat buzzed, so the girl may be more flirtatious and the guy may think he's got a better chance to get his meat wet than he actually does.

3/20/2008 12:29:00 PM

I feel like I'm getting as close to humanely possible to "understanding the signs" (its impossible to completely understand).

However, I still tend to err on the side of "not interested"...saves embarassment.

3/20/2008 12:31:34 PM

this is precisely the reason why i walk up to a guy...grab his penis and stick my tongue in his ear when i'm interested....


his reaction/or lack there of lets me know if i have a shot

3/20/2008 12:33:28 PM

Quote :

"I disagree with this methodology. Nonverbal cues are so contextual... ESPECIALLY when, say, there is alcohol involved. A person (male or female) may use certain body language with a lot of people and thus it is hard to pin down whether it is a "sign of interest" or not. And once again, when you throw booze into the mix it throws everything off. And half the time the male and the female are at least somewhat buzzed, so the girl may be more flirtatious and the guy may think he's got a better chance to get his meat wet than he actually does."

while that may help the guys, the fact that women did the test better still gives credence to their claim

[Edited on March 20, 2008 at 12:34 PM. Reason : .]

3/20/2008 12:33:31 PM

you know what kind of sign i want? grab my junk and drag me to the fucking bathroom, i will know what you want.

wow a girl beat me to that comment

3/20/2008 12:33:47 PM

maybe she just thought you had to pee that badly. who knows?

3/20/2008 12:34:22 PM

^^^^

3/20/2008 12:35:30 PM

plztolickmahearz

3/20/2008 12:36:16 PM

my goal in life is to teach them....


all

3/20/2008 1:29:55 PM

when is it my turn to be a pupil of thou?

[Edited on March 20, 2008 at 1:31 PM. Reason : sdfg]

3/20/2008 1:31:06 PM

you're not that young

[Edited on March 20, 2008 at 1:33 PM. Reason : sdgf]

3/20/2008 1:31:33 PM

whats your age limit?

3/20/2008 1:31:57 PM

25

[Edited on March 20, 2008 at 1:33 PM. Reason : if you don't know by then...there's no help for you]

3/20/2008 1:32:50 PM

fuck, i missed by 6 years. can you make an exception because i look like i am 24 and i still get carded EVERYWHERE?

^ true, i just want to evaluate your course

[Edited on March 20, 2008 at 1:34 PM. Reason : sdfg]

3/20/2008 1:33:59 PM

hahaha....it doesn't work like that

3/20/2008 1:34:47 PM

i can even act naive, and in need to learn under your stewardship

3/20/2008 1:37:05 PM

how bout a 16 year old?

3/20/2008 1:54:45 PM

for legal purposes....no

3/20/2008 1:55:51 PM

I'm 20 but I can play as young as 17.

3/20/2008 1:57:47 PM

16 is state law, so livingproof you are in the clear with robbing the craddle!

well hey lp, how about we just drink 5 pitchers of red oak to see if you will change your mind.

3/20/2008 1:58:13 PM

20 FTW

3/20/2008 1:58:16 PM

i like my meat seasoned. 24+ FTW

3/20/2008 1:59:24 PM

Only thing I've learned about women is this.

THEY ARE ALL BATCHIT CRAZY INSANE!


It's just a matter of when and how you push that insane button.

3/20/2008 2:24:22 PM

How I interpret a female's actions usually depends on whether or not I am attracted to her. I'd imagine this is pretty common. Maybe they just showed pictures of homely girls acting seductive and the guys were all like "She just wants to be friends."

[Edited on March 20, 2008 at 2:32 PM. Reason : s]

3/20/2008 2:24:51 PM

if theres grass on the field, play ball.

3/20/2008 2:26:28 PM

Quote :

"These are average differences. Some men are very skilled at reading affective cues"

More like cueless! haha.

hamirite? huh? huh!?

3/20/2008 2:28:47 PM

Quote :

"I've always held to the philosophy that hitting on any woman while she's working and I'm a customer is a bad idea."

It is. Numbers I got while a barista when straight to the trash

3/20/2008 2:40:12 PM

Quote :

"I've always held to the philosophy that hitting on any woman while she's working and I'm a customer is a bad idea."

the only time this doesn't apply is at foxy lady

3/20/2008 2:42:02 PM

Could one of the more socially competent women write a guide to reading your mannerisms? Plz to help.

3/20/2008 2:43:11 PM

We were at Red, Hot, and Blue last Friday and my friend hit on the waitress after my girlfriend dared him to. She laughed and we found out later that she told the whole wait staff and cooks about this guy. His food came out with some hair on it so it got sent back, he got another meal for free. She apologized for the hair. My girlfriend wrote down his AIM screen name on her receipt and she ended up IMing him on Sunday. On Monday evening, St. Patty's, He brought the girl over to my place with her roommate who was cuter. Turns out my brother started making out with the waitress girl and she passed out in his bed that night. The other girl slept on the couch that night and when our other roommate came in, in the morning, he woke them, freaked them out, and ended up giving them a ride back to campus.

Freaking weird.

3/20/2008 2:46:20 PM

^^you need to post that somewhere other than tww

[Edited on March 20, 2008 at 2:47 PM. Reason : asdf]

3/20/2008 2:46:36 PM

Quote :

"It is. Numbers I got while a barista when straight to the trash"

why?

3/20/2008 2:48:42 PM

cause she's thinking of tables, drink orders, the disgusting uniform she obviously thinks isn't attractive on her - she just isn't thinking about sex duiring a busy dinner shift - she wants you tips, not your tip.

3/20/2008 2:49:46 PM

i don't see whats the difference between the same guy giving her his number there or at a party? is hitting on a girl at work a sign that a guy likes to hit on vulnerable chicks or something?

3/20/2008 2:51:18 PM

not really
but im sure you also realize that girls aren't always ready for sex
she could be feeling icky and not pretty due to being at work and thus less approachable

3/20/2008 2:52:47 PM