Spontaneous's Top Five Sex Moves That Drive The Women Crazy
Women love the foreplay.

1. The Nom Nom Nom - The basic elbow, ear lobe, and neck nibbles. Go for the full blown vampire bite for extra kinkiness. 7/10, Easy
2. The Whisper - blowing into a woman's ear and or saying their name super slow. 8/10, Medium
3. The Wet/Dry Land - lick a woman anywhere and then blow on that area slowly, works great on nipples and other erogenous zones*. 9/10, Standard
4. The Teaser - breath heavily onto the woman's vag and lick ever so lightly 10/10, Difficult
and my personal favorite
5. The Human Sybian - lick her clit whilst simultaneously rubbing her G-spot with your fingers, rhythmically, crescendoing into the ultimate climax 200/10, For Guru's Only

"If I can't get laid myself, I'm gonna live vicariously through the rest of you, but you're gonna do it right, dammit."

*Erogenous Zone - lost level in Sonic???

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 1:50 AM. Reason : Realized there was actually no fucking in this list.]

3/17/2008 1:49:06 AM

3/17/2008 1:57:27 AM

i like foreplay

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 2:01 AM. Reason : [no homo]]

3/17/2008 2:01:22 AM

In all honesty most people figure out your "moves" by the time that they graduate high school.

Good stuff though.

3/17/2008 2:05:36 AM

I originally meant to title this thread, "Tried and True Sex Moves", and make it a perpetual sex moves discussion forum, since everyone's style is a little bit different and every woman will respond differently to a given set of moves.

Also, in my defense, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22. And my then-girlfriend made it sound like I was a big deal in the sac. Either her previous boyfriends didn't care for the foreplay or she was overinflating my ego. Probably the latter.

If anything, dnl probably has more moves in his repertoire now.

3/17/2008 3:08:26 AM

Oh wow.

3/17/2008 3:09:14 AM

¿Yo es un perdedor, bebé, así que porqué usted no me mata?

3/17/2008 3:12:34 AM

i have some ocean front property in kansas to sell you

3/17/2008 9:27:13 AM

6. placing my hand on the back of her head so I can control the rythm.

3/17/2008 9:29:10 AM

+1 for honesty.

best sex move/position ever is from behind with her flat on her stomach and her legs together.

3/17/2008 9:29:19 AM

So that's it?? There are a total of seven special moves?

I know Street Fighter characters with a longer set list.

3/17/2008 10:28:16 AM

I thought this was top five sex movies

3/17/2008 11:05:58 AM

You might as well post 'em. Nobody else is talkin' here.

#1. Naughty Nurses 2
#2. Crotch Capers 3
#3. Backdoor Sluts 9
#4. Playboy vs. Penthouse: Girl Scout Cheerleader Sorority Edition
#5. XXX-Men

3/17/2008 11:15:23 AM

Backdoor Sluts 9!

3/17/2008 11:20:43 AM

Quote :

"I thought this was top five sex movies "

3/17/2008 11:38:21 AM

on her back with your hands under her butt cheeks give you spread control and a better angle
her legs should be in the air btw

3/17/2008 11:42:36 AM

^ I read that and realized that it's one of my favorites. Plus a handful of ass is never a bad thing.

But then I pictured XSMP having sex and now I won't be horny for a long time.

3/17/2008 12:06:32 PM

i'm a big fan of foreplay but doing anything in my ear is a quick way to get kicked in the gonads

3/17/2008 12:13:23 PM

^Ear job?

Let the next guy lick the bottom of your ear, or around the outside edge, then blow on it. Maybe your last guy thought he was NOMing down on a rack of ribs or something.

^^^hah, sounds like all you got left is the preflight and taxiing checklist to deal with

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 1:07 PM. Reason : ^]

3/17/2008 1:05:54 PM

Quote :

"But then I pictured XSMP having sex and now I won't be horny for a long time. "

Hey Fuck You, Buddy.

3/17/2008 1:07:11 PM

^^nah...i just have a thing with my ears...


and there is nothing sexy about it

3/17/2008 1:14:08 PM

well good luck man. i really hope you are a star

3/17/2008 1:14:52 PM

#6: The "forced laughter" after the rubber just falls off your penis because it is the rubber's fault

3/17/2008 2:08:00 PM

^winner.

Though I've never used a condom, because I only had the one partner, and she didn't like guys using condoms because it took away the necessary friction.

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 3:20 PM. Reason : a]

3/17/2008 3:19:25 PM