This should be fun . . .

Being in a military town, I see my fair share of utterly worthless pieces of female flesh draining their husbands of all their money while contributing nothing to society. So, one day, I came up with five requirements for a woman who chooses not to work and stay home instead.


1) Supper will be ready 4 nights a week within an hour of me coming home.
2) The house will be cleaned weekly and kept in a generally neat state.
3) You will stay abreast of the news. I'd like to come home to someone with whom I can have an intelligent conversation.
4) You will volunteer at least three times a month outside of the house.
5) You will stay in shape. You're not getting fat on my dollar.


Obviously, if a woman chooses to have a career of her own, the rules don't apply, but I think these are pretty reasonable for a woman who doesn't work being supported by a man who does.

flame away, I'm out for now.

3/14/2008 5:27:41 PM

A good military wife is hard to find

3/14/2008 5:29:27 PM

[Edited on March 14, 2008 at 5:30 PM. Reason : ]

3/14/2008 5:29:40 PM

forced volunteerism?

wtf

3/14/2008 5:30:06 PM

That's pretty awesome. You should write military pre-nups.

3/14/2008 5:31:19 PM

you need these rules because no one could ever love you

really

3/14/2008 5:32:25 PM

does giving head to the college guy down the street count for the volunteer work?

3/14/2008 5:32:40 PM

Quote :

"forced volunteerism? wtf"

yea, that's part of being the military. voluntelling.

3/14/2008 5:33:02 PM

3/14/2008 5:39:09 PM

Don't worry, all of us Roberts aren't like JCASHFAN

3/14/2008 5:40:45 PM

lol, there are a lot of useless cum dumpsters hanging around/in military towns, sucking the life out of people.

3/14/2008 6:10:29 PM

cum dumpsters, winnar

3/14/2008 6:12:01 PM

Quote :

"forced volunteerism? wtf"

I don't care who she volunteers for, I just think she needs to realize there are bigger things in the world than her little bubble.

Quote :

"you need these rules because no one could ever love you really"

who cares. I've got a hot wife who cooks and cleans.

3/15/2008 11:17:18 AM

Quote :

"who cares. I've got a hot wife who cooks and cleans"

3/15/2008 11:22:45 AM

Quote :

"4) You will volunteer at least three times a month outside of the house. "

I like all the other rules, but I think altruism is teh evil.

3/15/2008 11:23:22 AM

hahahahhah
noice

3/15/2008 11:23:23 AM

Those are all very reasonable. I got taught to do way more than just those five.

3/15/2008 11:49:27 AM

Quote :

"1) Supper will be ready 4 nights a week within an hour of me coming home."

only 4?

3/15/2008 11:53:20 AM

Yeah, M - Th. I'm all about helping out around the house on weekends or going out. I just don't think I should have to do it on nights where I work the next day if she's already at home.

Quote :

"but I think altruism is teh evil."

'splain.

3/15/2008 11:55:45 AM

no such thing as true altruism.

everyone knows you just do it to make yourself feel good.

3/15/2008 11:56:29 AM

Quote :

"but I think altruism is teh evil"

If you define altruism as giving up a greater value for a lesser value, then I'm against it. I don't think it's moral to self-sacrificially serve others.

Make it 6 Rules for Housewives:

6)Always give your man a BJ before he heads out to work or at the very least a hand job.

As my grandmother used to say, "An orgasm a day and you man will not stray".

[Edited on March 15, 2008 at 12:03 PM. Reason : .]

3/15/2008 11:59:05 AM

Quote :

"As my grandmother used to say, "An orgasm a day and you man will not stray"."

what??????

3/15/2008 12:38:44 PM

6) NO FUCKING SHORT JOKES

3/15/2008 1:46:09 PM

So you're saying that if she has a job, she doesn't have to do those things?

3/15/2008 1:56:48 PM

I only have one rule for housewives:

Get a job, we can both be lazy when we retire.

3/15/2008 2:17:37 PM

No fat chicks

3/15/2008 2:21:17 PM

page 1.5

3/15/2008 2:24:59 PM

I agree with the first 5 rules

Quote :

"6)Always give your man a BJ before he heads out to work or at the very least a hand job. "

who has that kind of time in the mornings?

Quote :

"As my grandmother used to say, "An orgasm a day and you man will not stray"."

I don't think it's a matter of orgasms, but the matter of wanting something new. People can have sex every day but if it's the same thing all the time they're still going to wonder what they're missing.

3/15/2008 2:30:38 PM

Vix's BJ's are probably her man's alarm clock in the morning. Not that I'd complain if that were the case with my gf.

3/15/2008 2:34:00 PM

Quote :

"You will stay abreast of the news. I'd like to come home to someone with whom I can have an intelligent conversation."

Most of the news is not intelligent conversation material. But the news is a step up from Cosmo, so I'll give you that.

3/15/2008 2:34:14 PM

Quote :

"6) NO FUCKING SHORT JOKES"

hahah, probably should add this, but I'm used to them by now.


Volunteering isn't necessarily a I lose you gain proposition. Getting out in the world makes her more well rounded, gives her an appreciation for what challenges others may face and serves the community as a whole, and as I said earlier, gives her an appreciation for things larger than herself.

In other words, I'm trying to keep her from being a naive selfish cunt.

Quote :

"Most of the news is not intelligent conversation material."

I'm thinking stuff like the Economist and National Geographic (which, technically, isn't news). Yeah, she won't get away with USA today.

3/15/2008 2:49:15 PM

That works.

3/15/2008 2:50:28 PM

Quote :

"while contributing nothing to society"

*snert*

3/15/2008 2:51:25 PM

women have evolved in a manner that forces them to rely on men to obtain any upward mobility. men have evolved in a way that forces them use this to their advantage. if we understand this as a nation, we will be better off

3/15/2008 3:12:15 PM

If you want that stuff, it would be cheaper to hire hookers, a maid, a therapist and one of those services that delivers meals. And they each would be good at the part they do.

3/15/2008 3:17:52 PM

or a woman who knows her place and is ok with it

you know

WHATEVER

3/15/2008 3:27:28 PM

Quote :

"In other words, I'm trying to keep her from being a naive selfish cunt."

if she's already one when you get married, then following "rules" won't change things

3/15/2008 3:40:03 PM

^

3/15/2008 3:41:04 PM

nvm

[Edited on March 15, 2008 at 3:53 PM. Reason : meh]

3/15/2008 3:48:03 PM

^^^ I guess "becoming" would be the better term

3/15/2008 4:59:01 PM

Quote :

"who has that kind of time in the mornings? "

If you are a housewife without a job, you should MAKE that kind of time in the morning.

3/15/2008 5:15:33 PM

so do you want a wife - a person who you love and share your life with, which may certainly involve agreements about how to divide up household chores

or do you want a maid/personal chef/hooker who performs services in exchange for payment ?

3/15/2008 10:52:33 PM

its not what he WANTS
its what he can get

because seriously

no one will ever love him

3/15/2008 11:02:15 PM

i like it when a woman challenges me. so if i were to give her rules it would make me want her more if she did not follow them. is that weird?

3/15/2008 11:07:23 PM

nope

3/16/2008 12:11:03 AM

Quote :

"its not what he WANTS its what he can get because seriously no one will ever love him"

You're beating that drum pretty hard buddy.


There is this post feminist assumption that women all want to be doctors or executives or lawyers when, in fact, there are plenty of women who would love to stay home for the rest of their lives. A lot of the women on TWW, if they were honest with themselves, know people like this . . . people who could very well be suppressing that desire because it's looked down upon. If that is what a woman choses to do, then more power to her. Hell if a man can find a woman to happily put up with that, thats his business too.



Truth be told, I'd need someone more dynamic than this as a wife. I came up with this more in response to my environment (that being Fayetteville) than my own personal checklist. I only posted it to see the kinds of reactions I'd get.

It wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be

Quote :

"or do you want a maid/personal chef/hooker who performs services in exchange for payment ?"

Notice, I never mentioned sex, that was someone else's idea.

3/16/2008 9:22:46 AM

Quote :

"so do you want a wife - a person who you love and share your life with, which may certainly involve agreements about how to divide up household chores or do you want a maid/personal chef/hooker who performs services in exchange for payment ? "

That is a tired, worn out, cliche'd argument.

I dearly love my wife, and in sharing my life with her have come to realize that her dream is to stay at home and raise/take care of her family. We both believe that the decline of society is in part due to the lack of time and effort that people put into raising a family these days. She thinks that women who want to spend thier life building a career are nuts.

If you are a woman, and your goal in life is to have a top notch career, go for it, I am in no way saying women shouldn't have the same chance to make it a man should. But dont fuck up the future by having a kid and 6 weeks later dropping them off at a day care. Kids need the love/nurturing that only thier mother can give them to develop properly.

And yes, I am a firm believer that while a man can raise a family, he cant do it nearly as well as a woman can. Raising/keeping a family together, healthy, and happy is tougher than any career you could ever hope to accomplish.

3/16/2008 9:51:04 AM

Quote :

"She thinks that women who want to spend thier life building a career are nuts."

I really hope by that you mean people who choose to have kids, not every single woman in the world, which would imply that anyone who doesn't want to spend her life as a baby factory is a waste of flesh.

3/16/2008 9:57:39 AM

the assumption is a feminist assumption
your criticism of the assumption could be considered "post-feminist"

yes, I've thought about this

from your original post you realized that you were being provocative
I'm simply giving you what you asked for, you unlovable slave master

3/16/2008 9:57:56 AM

Snewf, get a sex change already

3/16/2008 9:59:18 AM