This chick seems way more reasonable than Kay Hymowitz

Quote :

"Yep, it’s just that freewheeling marketplace or an avoidance of deep attachments or whatever that is keeping men from taking marriage seriously, settling down and having kids. But I don’t think that’s the whole story. What Hymowitz misses is that men are on a marriage strike, not necessarily because they are perpetual adolescents or avoiding deep attachments to others but because the reward for being an adult in our society is so low, especially for men. It’s really simple Psychology 101 (or Economics 101) — make something negative enough and people will avoid it, make it positive, and more people will engage in that particular behavior. Nowadays, for many men, the negatives of marriage for men often outweigh the positives. Therefore, they engage in it less often. Not because they are bad, not because they are perpetual adolescents, but because they have weighed the pros and cons of marriage in a rational manner and found the institution to be lacking for them. It’s a sensible choice for some and the video games, magazines, and humor websites that Hymowitz disses are a way to fill one’s time with fun activities that don’t tell you that you suck, are an “unfinished person,” emotionally detached or on your way to jail for fake domestic violence charges. People used to treat men better than this. "

http://pajamasmedia.com/2008/02/ask_dr_helen_8.php

2/7/2008 5:46:57 PM

this couldn't go in the other thread?

2/7/2008 5:48:07 PM

Don't bring this shit into chit chat.

2/7/2008 6:04:14 PM

Quote :

"It's somehow become normal for married men to expect less sex after getting married. It's not normal. A man is programmed to have a lot of sex with as many women as possible. For a man to commit to a monogamous relationship, he gets a lot of sex with one woman. That's the deal. No negotiation. No re-negotiation. "

Damn straight

2/7/2008 6:28:52 PM

Don't bring this shit into chit chat.

2/7/2008 6:29:52 PM

Yup, marriage in its current state is a bad idea for a man, especially from an economic standpoint. I mean, there's nothing like potentially (hell, probably given current statistics) adding a huge financial penalty for what is essentially a breakup. What's the allure, romance? Please.

2/7/2008 6:34:14 PM

it's one hand of blackjack with some sex and drama thrown in

2/7/2008 6:46:37 PM

^^ tax break, that's all.

2/7/2008 6:48:35 PM

I can;t fall in love, but my wife lets me fuck hookers when the mood strikes. It works - and much cheaper then having a GF.

2/7/2008 6:49:53 PM

Is this the line to lose half my shit? Oh good, let me get right in here, oh look, it's moving forward. One step closer to my own personal hell.




Oh, and my parents are still married after nearly 30 years. So it's not like I'm a product of divorce, I'm just smart enough to realize that they are by far the exception, not the rule.

2/7/2008 6:52:20 PM

Quote :

"It’s a sensible choice for some and the video games, magazines, and humor websites that Hymowitz disses are a way to fill one’s time with fun activities that don’t tell you that you suck, are an “unfinished person,” emotionally detached or on your way to jail for fake domestic violence charges. People used to treat men better than this. "

aww poor little victimized men


odds are they did something to deserve being told they suck.


maybe if they didnt suck, their woman wouldnt have to bring the fact to their attention so much.


basically all parties involved are the problem and we all need to find a solution


we woman need to quit being misandrists and men need to stop being misogynists

and treat each other with some fucking courtesy and respect

i swear, does no one have any honor anymore

2/7/2008 6:59:18 PM

^this is why you will die fat and alone

2/7/2008 7:00:30 PM

maybe if we were given a fucking chance, we'd treat ladies like ladies.

there are such things as honor left, don't count us all out.

2/7/2008 7:01:35 PM

the two of you sound like you've got enough problems to make each other happy

2/7/2008 7:05:02 PM

Quote :

"I'm just smart enough to realize that they are by far the exception, not the rule."

half of marriages end in divorce ... so that means your parents represent 50% of marriages

how is that "by far the exception"?

2/7/2008 7:05:40 PM

^^^^

oh dear were you victimized at some point too?



men and women both seem to want to play the " i am a victim" card


both sexes need to accept some responsibility for their part in their relationship failures.

i havent counted all men out by any means

i am mostly speaking in generalities

although i would like to know where the morally upstanding men are hiding(other than church)



[Edited on February 7, 2008 at 7:08 PM. Reason : .]

2/7/2008 7:06:27 PM

It's over 50% now. Or at least for new marriages it's over 50%. If you get married now there's a better than 1 in 2 chance that you will end up divorced.

[Edited on February 7, 2008 at 7:11 PM. Reason : clarification]

2/7/2008 7:07:15 PM

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5ZRflz-93JA

2/7/2008 7:07:43 PM

better fix your arrows

2/7/2008 7:07:47 PM

i know that i dont want to get married

2/7/2008 7:07:53 PM

bitches aint shit

2/7/2008 7:08:44 PM

arrows are fixed, y'all were too fast

2/7/2008 7:09:16 PM

I'm morally upstanding, I just don't want to get married, nor do I want children.

2/7/2008 7:11:51 PM

2/7/2008 7:12:07 PM

Quote :

"maybe if they didnt suck, their woman wouldnt have to bring the fact to their attention so much."

A real man wouldn't put up with a woman who told him he sucked.

2/7/2008 8:01:25 PM

there needs to be a child strike. this rock is overpopulated as it is. no marriage. no children.

2/7/2008 8:09:26 PM

a real man wouldnt suck, he wouldnt be disrespectful, hateful, etc


i mean she could be pissy for no reason at all leaving the man irritated and confused....

or she could tell him why she's pissed off at him, and then he would at least know what he did wrong so he could either defend his actions or modify the behavior. If she says nothing at all then he goes on acting the way he has been acting and she is left unsatisfied and angry.

is a woman supposed to just put up with shit


i dunno, if i fuck up i expect to be held accountable for it. and im going to hold others accountable for their fuck ups.

its called responsibility

2/7/2008 8:36:53 PM

A REAL MAN

idolizing what you dont have is a good way to never have it.

2/7/2008 8:43:50 PM

Quote :

"this rock is overpopulated as it is"

i dunno, i've been to oklahoma. there's lots of room out there

2/7/2008 9:05:26 PM

i am a real man. and going to have lots of children someday. the seed shall be spread.

2/7/2008 9:09:52 PM

says the guy who started this ?topic=513498 a real gem of a thread

2/7/2008 9:11:02 PM

Quote :

"It's over 50% now. Or at least for new marriages it's over 50%. If you get married now there's a better than 1 in 2 chance that you will end up divorced. "

Honestly, i always have to wonder how skewed this statistic is..... I know plenty of couples who are 50 years old and been together, but I think most of the divorced people i know that age have been divorced MULTIPLE times. I would like to see a statistic that has been corrected to account for these people who probably are ruining that statistic for the rest of us.......

2/7/2008 9:12:29 PM

yes. yes it is.

John McCain will allow mexicans to enter my country that my decendents forcfully claimed as they pleased because they were more evolved.

2/7/2008 9:15:00 PM

people are not statistics

if I am passionately in love with a woman and she is passionately in love with me, it's silly to say there is a 50% chance we will end up getting divorced...every case is different

2/7/2008 9:16:21 PM

It has been. The rate for 1st time marriages is around 41-43%, second marriages it goes up to around 60%, third marriages it goes up over 70%. That's current, it's only getting worse with each year of marriages.

2/7/2008 9:16:44 PM

Quote :

"John McCain will allow mexicans to enter my country that my decendents forcfully claimed as they pleased because they were more evolved."

i think your chronology is a bit off

2/7/2008 9:17:04 PM

^^Yeah, the other half of the people said that same stupid shit too. The good news is, if you make it past the first couple of years you're usually in pretty good shape, until about the time any potential kids leave.

2/7/2008 9:17:59 PM

Why buy the cow when you can get the sex for free?

2/7/2008 9:18:19 PM

why are people having sex with cows?

2/7/2008 9:18:43 PM

^^^
fuck that
not getting divorced is a matter of marrying smart, rather than beating the odds

not to say that you can't marry smart and then still have things go to shit and end up in divorce
but we still have a lot of control in the matter, both before and after the marriage


[Edited on February 7, 2008 at 9:31 PM. Reason : /]

2/7/2008 9:21:03 PM

This is true, I mean it's not like it's just a matter of flipping a coin, but nobody thinks to themselves, "Hey, this marriage is fucking doomed from the get go." It's just that odds are that at some point most marriages are going to dissolve. When that does happen guess who generally gets fucked over. That's right, the man. So if you're a man why get married? An even better question, why get married without a prenup?

That was more what I was getting at with my statistics, not saying that your relationship in particular would fail and that you have no control over it.

2/7/2008 9:39:19 PM

word

Quote :

"marriages are going to dissolve. When that does happen guess who generally gets fucked over. That's right, the man."

pretty much explains this whole thread

2/7/2008 9:57:42 PM

there's alot of whining in this thread

2/7/2008 10:00:45 PM

Ben,

I will have sex with her first. I will spread my seed on your womans first. bwahaha

2/7/2008 10:11:27 PM

Quote :

"An even better question, why get married without a prenup? "

Maybe he's not the one with all the money in the relationship.

2/7/2008 10:12:51 PM

Doesn't matter. If he owns anything at all he needs a prenup, so does she if she's got any kind of money or property. Divorces frequently get nasty and people go after shit they don't even want out of spite. A prenup protects that kind of thing, you know like... say your dog or maybe you've got some furniture or your still paying off your bass boat when you get married.

Alimony can be paid to a man as well, it just usually isn't due to the fact that the financial situation is very infrequently like you mentioned.

2/7/2008 10:16:35 PM

Quote :

"An even better question, why get married without a prenup"

A lot of women and men find them offensive because you begin the marriage by planning out what happens when you get divorced. I for one aren't one of those people.

2/7/2008 10:21:49 PM

Quote :

"If he owns anything at all he needs a prenup, so does she if she's got any kind of money or property"

You don't need to lecture me on why one is a good idea. But to say it's because the man is the only one at a loss is ridiculous.

2/7/2008 10:31:15 PM

this thread brings the funny.

2/8/2008 12:30:22 AM

Clearly this is because of gay marriage.

2/8/2008 12:37:44 AM