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 Message Boards » » Beardawg & Evan's Funny EMS Stories Page [1] 2, Next  
Beardawg61
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This was just paged out.

"Dispatch: Station 2, Station 33 emergency response 123 Higdon Mobile Home Park reference traumatic injury. EMD in progress."

"Med 4: Copy that County en route."

"Dispatch: Med 4, Station 33 you are responding to a 42 year old male reference traumatic injury. Caller advised victim fell through the kitchen floor 30 minutes ago and has pain."

12/26/2007 11:21:00 PM

EMCE
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I hope I never get hurt around you guys

cause my business will be on TWW within hours

12/26/2007 11:22:21 PM

moron
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^^ I bet they were white.

[Edited on December 26, 2007 at 11:22 PM. Reason : ]

12/26/2007 11:22:25 PM

mcfluffle
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only in murphy

12/26/2007 11:22:30 PM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
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what are yall like in cahoots now

how does this effect posting patterns

remember...less is more

12/26/2007 11:22:53 PM

Beardawg61
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^^That was in Andrews.

12/26/2007 11:23:48 PM

mcfluffle
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



i was figuring robbinsville

12/26/2007 11:24:36 PM

Beardawg61
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Quote :
"I bet they were white."


You can always tell because Dispatch will say "Be advised we have law enforcement en route" otherwise.

12/26/2007 11:26:16 PM

mcfluffle
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12/26/2007 11:29:16 PM

TenaciousC
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Plz to keep stories coming

I love to listen to the scanners. You hear the craziest shit on there.

12/26/2007 11:54:11 PM

ncsuapex
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So I'm not allowed to tell my funny EMS stories???

12/26/2007 11:56:50 PM

Beardawg61
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I think we have room!

12/27/2007 12:00:01 AM

msb2ncsu
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2 guys I play hockey with responded to a call a few years back at home of the WRAL "5 On Your Side" reporter at the time (some blonde chick). Well, she had "lost" a small vibrator up her butt and couldn't get it out. The vibrations had started to make her sick to her stomach.

12/27/2007 1:15:28 AM

ncsuapex
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It's been 10 years since I ran a call.. Ive forgotten most of my stories.

But I do remember 2.

One,

We get called to a house for "Sudden Illness"

GODDAMN dispatchers, can you get anymore fucking generic than "Sudden Illness" ?!?!?!?!

Ive seen "Sudden Illness" be anything from a fucking ear ache to a guy laying on the floor sweating his balls off having a heart attack.

anyways..

Story 1.

Get called to a house for "Sudden Illness"
Old wrinkled up black lady is buck ass naked in the living room sitting on a 5 gallon bucket. She started begging us to give her an enema cuz she hadn't shit in a week. It took us about 15 minutes to ensure her it wasn't a medical emergency and that a family member could take her to the hospital. I can't remember the exact conversation but it was one of the few times I had to bite my tounge (literally) to keep from laughing at this old lady. We eventually got her to sign the consent forms and we took off, I hope her family ended up taking her to see a doctor...

Story 2

Not really funny.. But..

I was talking to my county medical director and he was asking me about different IV drip rates, and of course me trying to impress him with my knowledge, I went on and on about drip rates for different scenarios, once I got done he told me their are basically two drip rates for EMS.

KVO and WAO.

I said, well I know what KVO is, what's WAO, he said WIDE ASS OPEN.

12/27/2007 1:16:23 AM

Beardawg61
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This thread has officially become worthless w/o (sfw) pics.

12/27/2007 1:16:26 AM

ncsuapex
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I dont think too many people wanna see pics of the guy we picked up one night that had been knocked off his bike by a truck, drug about half a mile under a car going 60mph or so...Needless to say he went straight to the morgue at the hospital.

12/27/2007 1:24:08 AM

moron
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So what's KVO?

12/27/2007 1:24:35 AM

ncsuapex
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Keep Vein Open

12/27/2007 1:34:30 AM

Beardawg61
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My uncle ran a motorcycle call two years ago that was called in as having two victims... turns out it was one victim in two parts.

12/27/2007 1:44:19 AM

dustm
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YEAH THATS FUCKING HILARIOUS

JESUS TITYFUCKING CHRIST

12/27/2007 1:48:10 AM

ncsuftw1
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heh

12/27/2007 1:50:17 AM

Beardawg61
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He wasn't wearing a helmet either... dumbass.

12/27/2007 1:52:30 AM

Mr. Joshua
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Was he ok?

12/27/2007 1:53:27 AM

Beardawg61
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I think they still managed to have an open casket.

12/27/2007 1:54:27 AM

dustm
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ahah

12/27/2007 1:56:26 AM

Beardawg61
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We responded to a 72/M possible stroke the other day, turned out to be an atrial flutter (don't see that every day) with severe hypoxia.

We were checking the guy out and the neighbor walked in and said "Is everything ok?" because you know that an ambulance, fire truck and multiple POV's are always a good sign and the guys wife was teetering on the edge of losing it and screamed "NO, NO IT'S NOT OK!! THINGS ARE TERRIBLE!!!"

I was thinking "C'mon lady, stay with me for just a few minutes." I said "Do you have a list of his meds?" She started fumbling around and said "Yes... it's... no it's umm... OH GAWD IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! NONE OF IT MATTERS AT ALL!!!" And I was thinking "Well, if I don't get a list of his meds it might not matter for very long."

So we packaged the guy up and started towards the truck and she wanted to ride in the ambulance despite the fact that her whole family was there and they were all going to the hospital. *carl face* We said OK and I asked her to ride in the front. We were in the back getting another set of 12-leads an strating lines and stuff and when we got ready to go my partner climbed up front with the old lady who had been waiting quietly for several minutes.

He said "Med 1, County, Copy?"

"Go ahead Med 1"

"We are in route to the hospital."

"Copy that Med 1 will that be emergency or non-emergency traffic?"

He looked back and I said "non-emergency should be fine."

And the old lady cried "OH GAWD IS HE DEAD???"

12/27/2007 2:09:13 AM

colter
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I went to one once where this guy's girlfriend was pulling into the yard and he went to moon her through the window of his trailer, and fell through the glass, getting huge shards in his ass. when we got there everybody had a good laugh about it. and it was in murphy

12/27/2007 2:39:59 AM

evan
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got dispatched to a "sick call" like last week

you must know - sick calls can be anything from "i have a headache" to "omg i've DFO"

we get there, the dude coughs and and pukes at the same time, and his abd cavity pops open and i see his small bowel and liver poking out

that was a fun night

i'd type the whole thing but imma go get breakfast

12/27/2007 9:04:14 AM

drunknloaded
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Quote :
"You can always tell because Dispatch will say "Be advised we have law enforcement en route" otherwise. "


rofl

12/27/2007 9:05:45 AM

Beardawg61
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^^wtf, mate?

12/27/2007 11:34:02 AM

Snewf
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he coughed his organs out of his stomach?

wtf

12/27/2007 11:52:17 AM

Mindstorm
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I think he just popped.

That's pretty scary.

12/27/2007 12:13:10 PM

Beardawg61
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I just responded to a call. A little old lady thought she was having an MI. Turns out in addition to the two prescribed meds she was taking for hypertension she was also taking horny goatweed and some other shit her "guru" at the health food store recommended and she bottomed out her blood pressure. *carl face*


Quote :
"These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to prevent, treat, or cure any disease."


That's there for a reason folks.

1/23/2008 11:18:08 PM

Yoshiemaster
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1/23/2008 11:19:11 PM

Beardawg61
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yellow frog?

1/23/2008 11:20:53 PM

Yoshiemaster
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1/23/2008 11:32:43 PM

Sputter
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Quote :
"2 guys I play hockey with responded to a call a few years back at home of the WRAL "5 On Your Side" reporter at the time (some blonde chick). Well, she had "lost" a small vibrator up her butt and couldn't get it out. The vibrations had started to make her sick to her stomach.

"



1/24/2008 12:06:32 AM

brainysmurf
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so i was on call tonight


was called in


to take an outside hospital intracranial bleed

was supposed to be here from chatham co at 1045


pt still isnt here yet


ruh roh raggy

1/24/2008 12:06:34 AM

jackleg
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isnt this pretty much the violate HIPAA thread? maybe not so much if you leave out details. but naming the persons job so that it can be determined who they are?

1/24/2008 12:08:55 AM

Beardawg61
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We have some X-rays hanging in the paramedic classroom from a guy who showed up with various objects "concealed" and complaining of abdominal pain each year on Christmas Day. In '04 it was a Snapple bottle that he claimed to have "sat down onto wrong" accidentally. O_o

1/24/2008 12:10:22 AM

brainysmurf
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not a single patient identifier has ever been used

1/24/2008 12:21:22 AM

jackleg
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Quote :
"a call a few years back at home of the WRAL "5 On Your Side" reporter at the time (some blonde chick)."


lets find out who she is and email her this thread and see what she thinks about it!!

[Edited on January 24, 2008 at 12:28 AM. Reason : i doubt there was more than one 5 on your side reporter, especially more than one blonde]

1/24/2008 12:28:26 AM

GREEN JAY
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Quote :
"we get there, the dude coughs and and pukes at the same time, and his abd cavity pops open and i see his small bowel and liver poking out
"



we need to hear more about this and why it happened.


Quote :
"I just responded to a call. A little old lady thought she was having an MI. Turns out in addition to the two prescribed meds she was taking for hypertension she was also taking horny goatweed and some other shit her "guru" at the health food store recommended and she bottomed out her blood pressure. *carl face*


Quote :
"These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to prevent, treat, or cure any disease."


That's there for a reason folks.

"



Herbal medicine is real and has tangible effects on people. this story should serve to enforce this, not weaken that claim. This lady's error was not in taking herbal medicines, because obviously they worked against her problem, high blood pressure. her error was in not consulting with a pharmacist or her doctor about drug interactions. the medicinal plants that people take are just as much drugs as anything you dose out of your ambulance, and you should hold them in higher regard.

1/24/2008 12:31:27 AM

evan
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Quote :
"not a single patient identifier has ever been used"


lol

that's because we're good at telling stories

we all know just what to leave out

1/24/2008 12:45:07 AM

Beardawg61
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Quote :
"Herbal medicine is real and has tangible effects on people. this story should serve to enforce this, not weaken that claim. This lady's error was not in taking herbal medicines, because obviously they worked against her problem, high blood pressure. her error was in not consulting with a pharmacist or her doctor about drug interactions. the medicinal plants that people take are just as much drugs as anything you dose out of your ambulance, and you should hold them in higher regard."


I have no doubt that herbal medicine is real. I saw first-hand what it did with her. My problem is that there is little to no regulation about the actual contents of herbal remedies and "dietary supplements." It's very difficult for people to know exactly what they are taking, whether it's a powerful vasodialator or simple "snake oil." If she wanted to pursue a holistic approach she needed to coordinate it with her conventional approach. Taking two substances that claim to do the same thing was a bad idea.

1/24/2008 5:02:01 PM

Sputter
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so do we know which wral reporter likes to shove dildos up her ass yet?

1/24/2008 5:02:58 PM

Beardawg61
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They just paged out emergency response to a woman with altered level of consciousness.

"Caller advises his wife received a morphine shot from the hospital earlier and 'has not been right since.'" *carl face*


I thought that was the whole point of morphine.

1/30/2008 1:11:59 AM

brainysmurf
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need more info ....

1/30/2008 1:14:36 AM

hooksaw
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HIPAA

http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa/

FYI.

1/30/2008 1:23:25 AM

amac884
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------------>

1/30/2008 1:24:00 AM

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