Warning: words

So anyway, I have had the flaming mudbutt all night, I ran back into the bathroom a little while ago, was like damn, i shoulda double flushed the last one. Flushed it, and realized it was clogged, luckily I was able to shut it off before it overflowed.


This is where the trouble starts, the water is 1" below the rim and I'm about to crap myself. I manned up and tried to keep my cheeks out of the water and let loose a full barrage. A little relief, but there is more on the way and its fuckin full.

Now for the gross part, I couldn't plunge it, or it would overflow, so I grabbed a taco bell cup out of the trash, turned the shower on, and started bailing. By this time, I still haven't wiped and realized I was also "dripping" everywhere.

I couldn't hold the second wave back any longer, but I had gotten the level back down far enough, so I turned around and let loose again. I was finally able to plunge and get it all down, wipe, wipe, wipe, and gave up.

Then I had the turdlets in the shower problem to deal with, I washed it all down, sprayed it with disinfectant, then hopped in and scrubbed my ass like no man has ever scrubbed before.

In short, he worst night I've ever had sober.

Moral: don't eat at taco bell

12/20/2007 10:30:03 PM

bwahahahahahahhahahahahahhaha

A+++, would read again.

12/20/2007 10:31:44 PM

nice

tho I'd be more impressed if you'd re-enacted tubgirl and posted pics

[Edited on December 20, 2007 at 10:34 PM. Reason : x]

12/20/2007 10:34:45 PM

my option before i started bailing was just to go in the shower, it was mostly liquid, but then i wouldn't be able to wash it down if a solid one popped out

12/20/2007 10:37:38 PM

zxappeal is gonna love you.

12/20/2007 10:38:34 PM

12/20/2007 10:39:49 PM

if you get a solid one in the shower you can just turn the water pressure on high and it will usually break it down enough to go down the drain


as long as you didn't have popcorn that day

12/20/2007 10:40:22 PM

so this is what it's like to be fat

12/20/2007 10:59:20 PM

God damn yall some nasty ass people.

12/20/2007 11:04:28 PM

i know right

ive had legit food poisoning twice

and never came close to this

nor ever considered posting anything like it on the internet

12/20/2007 11:05:25 PM

I mean....this is an unfortunate story and all. But in all honesty, you probably deserved it...

12/20/2007 11:06:38 PM

Quote :

"I mean....this is an unfortunate story and all. But in all honesty, you probably deserved it... could have kept it to yourself"

12/20/2007 11:16:43 PM

bttt for the mornin crew

12/21/2007 6:58:45 AM

bwahahahahahahhahahahahahhaha

A+++, would read again.

12/21/2007 7:00:39 AM

if you eat taco bell, you deserve this

12/21/2007 7:01:19 AM

just the one on western

12/21/2007 1:34:59 PM

bump for ruckus italian sub mudbutt

1/14/2008 8:06:16 PM

While we're on the subject of poop stories, here's a good one. It's alot of words, but worth the read.

http://www.ihos.com/steakhouse.html

1/14/2008 8:12:37 PM

An excerpt from the above link:

"The Move"

For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain "The Move." Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances. There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of shit at the exact same second that ones ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a skilled ballet dancer.

1/14/2008 8:15:41 PM

someone posted that a few years ago here

but it was by a different author, on a different site.

1/14/2008 8:16:23 PM

Quote :

"At that very split second, my ass exploded in what can only be described as a wake...you know, as in a newspaper headline along the lines of "30,000 Killed In Wake of Typhoon Fifi" or something similar. In what seemed to be most suitably measured in cubic feet, an enormous plug of shit the consistency of thick mud with embedded pockets of greasy liquid came flying out of my ass. But remember, I was only half-way down on the toilet at that moment. The shit wave was of such force and of just such an angle in relation to the back curve of the toilet seat that it ricocheted off the back of the seat and slammed into the wall at an angle of incidence equal to the angle at which it initially hit the toilet seat. Then I sat down."

1/14/2008 8:19:40 PM

1/14/2008 8:22:05 PM

Why are dudes so obsessed with talking about/taking a dump?

1/14/2008 8:24:00 PM

haha, awesome story. I shit 6 times a day and typically have about 3 minutes warning but even I havent had something like this happen

1/14/2008 8:25:51 PM

thats why

1/14/2008 8:26:15 PM

^ HAHAHA, wtf? ahha mean, funny, but mean

1/14/2008 8:27:11 PM

6 times a day? damn i thought my 4 was a lot

1/14/2008 8:28:47 PM

wat?

1/14/2008 8:28:55 PM

how in the blue hell could one man shit 6 times a day

(i mean at even at a brisk 5min/shit that's like 2% of your day spend on the can)

1/14/2008 8:30:03 PM

tis true

1/14/2008 8:39:36 PM

add some good literature and thats 3 hrs a day

1/14/2008 8:59:36 PM