I couldn't believe he wrote this all himself, and then I read it, and it is definitely his work.

Quote :

"To all the Lead Foots 11:30pm Thursday, Nov 29 As you we all drive home for winter break, I’m sure we might run just a tad over the speed limit in our hurry to see our dearly missed loved ones, do our laundry, eat a real meal, party like the semesters over(because it is), and all that other stuff we go home for. I have here some tips to help keep that quicker drive as pink-paperless as possible. (First Disclaimer: if you follow these tips and still get that 90 in a 45, or anything else, I’m not to be held responsible.)(Second Disclaimer: I do not condone ANY kind of speeding EVER. I never speed and firmly believe everyone should follow my example (of not speeding). INTERSTATE DRIVING: The interstate is probably the most dangerous place to speed (ticket wise). With things like speed traps, unlikely places for troopers to hide, and more enforcement per mile than most other roads, I do not recommend driving more than 10 mph over the speed limit if not well prepared or in a hurry. Of course, usually, anything under 15mph over is relatively easy to have reduced as an improper equipment, but if your in a hurry and get stopped you will lose your time advantage and will have been better off to not have been speeding in the first place. 1. THE OVERPASS (BRIDGE) This is probably the most common. Troopers love to hide under overpasses, especially on roads with a guard rail in the middle; this is because they can hide behind between the support columns, making them hard to see, and because they can enforce both directions of traffic. Slow down to under the recommended 10 mph over unless in a lot traffic moving faster. Look for brake lights in the traffic ahead as everyone always hits the brakes when they see a trooper (even if going the speed limit). Don’t speed up until you can see all the way under the bridge. (This may be difficult if there are guard rails.) Sometimes they will also pull onto the cement ramps on the sides. 2. THE “ABANDONED VEHICLE” This one is simple, if you see a car next to road (on either side) SLOW DOWN!!!!!! Even if you drive for several hours you will only lose a few minutes total if you slow down for the occasional car next to the road, then you don’t have to worry about if each one has a cop sitting in it. This “abandoned vehicle” is used in several later tricks so I will not elaborate any more. 3. THE COP SITTING IN THE MEDIAN Be careful if speeding on interstates without a guard rail. Often posing as an “abandoned vehicle”, a trooper (usually unmarked but sometimes marked) will just sit in the median and when speeders drive by he (or she) just cuts his (or her) lights on gets in behind them. It sounds stupid and simple, and it is. Most people never even consider that a cop would park in the middle where every body can see him (or her). This is why you should always slow down for cars that aren’t moving. 4. THE COP SITTING ON THE SHOULDER This is treated similarly to the cop in the median. However, the cop on the shoulder is often harder to see especially if the driver (you) is in the fast lane and there is some traffic. One thing to remember is that a cop that has pulled over someone is included in this category. Sometimes the car in front of it is just a dummy, or sometimes the trooper is just finishing up and waiting for another target. Usually a cop on the shoulder will be getting the attention of the traffic so be sure take warning if you see a bunch of brake lights in front of you. 5. THE COP CHILLIN ON THE ON RAMP This is probably the hardest trap to beat. (But it can be done.) Troopers will usually just park their cars on the inside shoulder of the on ramp and wait for a speeder to drive by. Most of the regular traffic will not see it, (so no body will hit their brakes and you won’t see any brake lights) and even if a driver slows down to go under the overpass if the driver speeds back up too soon and doesn’t see the cop then he(or she(or you)) can still be caught. If there are no cars around, then glance back up the ramp and look for a cop. If there are cars around, then I don’t recommend taking your eyes of the road long enough to do that. Instead, as you approach the junction, adjust your rearview mirror to the right (your right side mirror is even better if you have inside controls) and use it to look up the ramp. It is important to know if a cop is potentially behind you (he could drive down the ramp and catch up later, duh) but that will be addressed later. Just make sure not to speed back up to soon when coming out from under the overpass. *Up until now one of the best ways to avoid a speeding ticket is to travel in a group with several other cars, however for these next few traps this is not the case. It combines several of the previous tricks with multiple law enforcement personnel. 6. “ABANDONED VEHICLE”, GUY (OR GIRL) WITH A TWO-WAY RADIO, LOTS OF TOOPERS. This is just some trooper chillin in a vehicle of some sort with a radio, enough donuts to feed the entire department and a thermos of coffee. As he (or she) radars cars speeding by, he (or she) radios the make and model to a line of troopers hidden on an on ramp down the road. By the time the speeders see the army of blue lights and people pulled over, it is too late. Usually (but not always) you can see the bridge before you get to the guy (or girl) with the radar gun. The junction ahead combined with the “abandoned vehicle” should set of the warning buzzer in your brain that alerts you to possible cops and that you should slow down. Some times a driver’s saving grace here is the traffic heading in the opposite direction. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be on the lookout for motorist heading in the opposite direction to flash their high beam head lights. If you see this don’t make any assumptions, hit the brakes. "

[Edited on November 30, 2007 at 5:38 PM. Reason : I hate character restrictions...]

11/30/2007 5:34:56 PM

save a few minutes on your trip...speed

11/30/2007 5:35:52 PM

The other half:

Quote :

"7. RANDOM DUDE (OR DUDETT) STANDING IN THE MEDIAN OR SHOULDER WITH RADIO AND RADAR GUN, LOTS OF TROOPERS *sigh*…OK…let’s gets something straight. If you see a guy (or girl) dressed as: Santa Clause, Mrs. Santa Clause an elf, a reindeer, the Easter bunny, Uncle Sam, an alien from outer space, Elvis Presley, or any other odd or normal looking being(i.e. anything between some person dressed normally all the way to a mechanical white tail deer), and on top of that this being or object has attached to it in some way, and is pointing at you, a device that looks like something Mr. Spock would have used as weapon on the USS Enterprise. All you need to do is consider just for a brief moment the odds of it actually being one of the above mentioned fictional characters (no, Santa Clause is not a real person (sorry Jennifer)) or the odds of some random person pointing some random device at you for absolutely no reason, in the middle of the %#@&ing interstate, and it becomes so painfully clear that you should have slammed on the breaks the moment you saw this (if only to get a longer look at the King), that if anybody, who reads this, fails to beat this trap at any point in the future, I will personally slap myself in the face.(out of frustration and because somebody needs to be slapped and I don’t hit other people unless physically provoked)(AND NO it is NOT entrapment unless the cop is wearing a sign that says “please speed” or something to that effect) Sometimes you will see the oncoming traffic flashing their bright lights, I only pray you don’t actually need them. There is also a chance at seeing some brake lights (because people are trying to figure out what that guy is doing while their being clocked at 25 over). *These are the only two major traffic traps if heard of and both require a junction or other good place to hide all the cops and people being pulled over. If you are in a place where you can’t see so far ahead of you that if you suddenly saw a cop and would not have time to slow down before he (or she) could radar you because he (or she) would be so close, then its better to assume that they are just beyond your vision and slow down. Now for cops who are already moving on the interstate. 8. THE TROOPER AHEAD OF YOU While he (or she) is probably the easiest to spot, these can slow you down the most, because unless they get off the interstate there is now way to get around one unless he (or she) is running below the posted speed limit. (I have driven past a cop not driving as fast as the speed limit but I was in a major hurry and would not recommend it to the faint of heart.) Just be patient. Be glad he (or she) is not pulling you over. Also, don’t follow him (or her) to closely, it’s normally ok to drive the same speed he (or she) is driving (if not too fast), but only if you’re a good distance back from the patrol car. 9. THE TROOPER BEHIND YOU This guy (or girl) is ranked next to “the trooper on the on ramp” in difficulty to see. Be mindful of your rearview mirror if you pass the trooper on the on ramp, because he (or she) can quickly become said trooper pulling you over. The only real indication is “the parting of the red (and other colors) sea.” At some point in a normal amount of traffic you will notice traffic suddenly lightens up (because everybody slowed down) and everybody is suddenly in the right lane. An entirely different method (I only know people who say it works) is to keep a sufficiently high average speed so that any troopers behind you never catch up. 10. THE UNMARKED TROOPER AHEAD OF YOU Recognizing an unmarked vehicle is difficult but possible. Some times a driver will get lucky and it will be a Crown Vic with six antennae on the back, but this is no longer the normal unmarked. Unmarked cops almost always have abnormally wide tires and abnormal license plates. There is usually some kind of antenna some where on the outside of the vehicle. One can usually spot a potential unmarked cop car based on these three parameters (with some practice) and then inspect further to see if it is actually a trooper. One effective method is to look for the strobe lights. They will be inside of the reverse lights, and at the top and/or bottom of the front and back wind shields. Usually there is a traffic vest hanging in the back seat too. 11. THE UNMARKED TROOPER BEHIND YOU Unless you have a radar detector I have no idea how to spot this guy (or girl). (Unless you are really good at looking at tires.) GOOD LUCK *A majorly bad habit that will alert any trooper (behind or in front of the driver) to a potential speeder is weaving thought traffic. DO NOT WEAVE unless absolutely necessary to get passed a blockage in traffic. However, if you see another motorist who is weaving and you can keep up without weaving, get behind this person and he (or she) will attract all the attention of cops. (i.e. He or she follows the accepted method of driving on the interstate where he or she stays in the right hand lane until he or she needs to pass someone, and you stay in the left hand lane) With or without this decoy, stay in the left lane unless somebody is really holding up traffic and will not move over. If someone driving faster than you gets behind you, just move over to let them by. (Make sure to signal because the might try to pass you in the right lane and hit you when you move over.) I hope this has been enlightening and not too long winded. If at any point I assumed that any police officer or driver was a male I apologize (T***). J*****, if the cops only wanted you to run 70mph they would have set the speed limit to 60mph. Drive safely, don’t get a ticket, and don’t be late."

[Edited on November 30, 2007 at 5:39 PM. Reason : ]

11/30/2007 5:37:34 PM

Fuck tha police?

11/30/2007 5:37:44 PM

These steps could be simplified to if you see a cop slow down.

11/30/2007 10:03:07 PM

Quote :

"I couldn't believe he wrote this all himself, and then I read it, and it is definitely his work."

uhh....who?

[Edited on November 30, 2007 at 10:54 PM. Reason : I just read it, and whoever it is has the writing skills of a 4th grader.]

11/30/2007 10:51:10 PM

One rule, really: DON'T SPEED, IDIOT!

11/30/2007 11:02:05 PM

yeah...who wrote this

11/30/2007 11:02:26 PM

Quote :

"One rule, really: DON'T SPEED, IDIOT!"

Nah, man. The conflict between speeders and troopers is an ancient and important part of driving in this country. The only thing you can't do as a speeder is bitch about it when you get legitimately caught for speeding, because that makes you a douchebag. But you are well within your rights to:

1) Share advice on how to avoid getting caught
2) Develop new techniques to avoid getting caught
3) Complain that you were bested
4) Ask for advice about how to deal with getting caught

11/30/2007 11:31:03 PM

Rules for avoiding a speed trap:

1. Don't speed

2. ...

3. Profit.

11/30/2007 11:32:04 PM

Quote :

"These steps could be simplified to if you see a cop slow down. "

11/30/2007 11:32:29 PM

^yeah, try such a simple approach and see how well it works for you.

there is some strategy involved with going fast and getting away with it. it also varies somewhat based on tactics of local police (if you are familier with the area and how they set up, how they employ their RADAR, if they use LIDAR, VASCAR, etc).

a top notch detector (Valentine 1 is my choice, passport 8500/9500 or the equivalent Bel would prob also work) is also a must.

and finally, you must realize that if you speed enough, eventually you will get a ticket. be prepared to look at it as a supplemental road usage tax...you can drive however you want, but you'll have to pay a little extra.

11/30/2007 11:47:04 PM

Between me normally being on the lookout (no more than 15 over the limit anywhere I go) and my 8500 the only 'speedtrap' that ever worries me is the guy with the lidar gun, basically by the time your detector reads it, its too late. I'd only really worry about that around around interstate overpasses though, though anywhere is possible.

Speaking of, does anyone elses' laser alert go off in the coliseum deck?

[Edited on December 1, 2007 at 1:19 AM. Reason : YUUUUUUUUUUUU]

12/1/2007 1:17:55 AM

i've encountered tons of instant on...little if any LIDAR.

12/1/2007 1:19:13 AM

Rules for avoiding a speedtrap:
1. Go fast as shit. It's obvious that going fast as shit makes it hard for the police to catch you, but there is more to it than that. You have to think of your time on the highway as exposure. The faster you go, the less time you're on the highway, and therefore the less exposure the police will have to you. Logic says that you'll pass less oncoming cops on average over a fixed length of road at 110MPH than you will at 85MPH because you will spend less time on that stretch of road.

2. There is no #2. You either made it there really quickly or you bailed yourself out for $500.

12/1/2007 1:40:50 AM

take along General Ackbar, professional trap finder

12/1/2007 1:51:14 AM

www.speedtrap.org/

www.copspy.com/

12/1/2007 7:09:26 AM

^ who did the MASTER painting on ur gal?

12/1/2007 7:11:19 AM

Quote :

"yeah...who wrote this"

i bet its the same guy from technician that wrote about how to drive drunk

12/1/2007 7:30:47 AM

I'm awake now

http://www.speedtrap.org/

http://www.copspy.com/

12/1/2007 8:03:29 AM