okay, ive got kind of a problem.

my wife and I have all our emails come to the house and filtered into the desktop's Thunderbird application.

she is now all of a sudden suspicious because we get the occasional "Enlarge Your Member" or "Satisfy Her Desires" or the generic, poorly-worded "come look at my hot pics" solicitation emails

my wife is not especially tech-minded; she knows the basics (and i mean very basics) of how the Intarwebs work, but the fact that this stuff is occasionally coming onto HER email, and had been getting overwhelmed on the FAMILY-ONLY email (which was a personal domain name)... has made her suspicious of ME.

For illustration purposes, her email is

<lastname> @ <majorISP> . net

the family-only email is

<commonname> @ <ourfamilydomainname> . net

the "ourfamilydomainname" was also used as a publicly accessible website (http://www.<ourfamilydomainname>.net)... but in that case, ALL of the porn/viagra/enlargement spam was actually being addressed to "admin@" or "webmaster@" which (for some stupid reason) i had set up to be filtered into a separate folder.

It didnt bother me any, i just dumped it without a second thought. i only wanted to allow people to send mail to any <username> @ <ourfamilydomainname> without having to get on the domain providers shitty webmail

i mean all this shit is totally generic, its obviously being mass-spammed to millions of people using dictionary word searches (for her email) and was being sent to our admin @ <familydomain> because the live webpage was found (and then increased, I'm sure, because my wife probably clicked one of the links in a spam email to see what it was ... but she wont admit it. )

ANYHOW......

because she knows some gal at work whos husband left her for an online affair, or something stupid like that, she thinks this porn/viagra/penis spam is a result of me somehow "surfing porn". Because she KNOWS it isnt anything SHE is doing, and I'm the only other one here.

I try to explain to her that (1) I am not surfing porn (2) random spam to email address has nothing to do with surfing porn anyhow, and (3) even if WAS surfing porn using email addresses, i would DAMN SURE NOT be using my wifes email or our family email to do it.

and of course my explanation doesnt help any.

i mean jesus christ.

so its not like we're having major fights or anythign, but I'll be goddamned the thought of this is just pathetic. I mean, its not so much that she thinks Im surfing porn, but I'm really more mad that she
thinks I'm so fucking stupid as to do this thing she imagines.

so how the hell do i convince her that this is random Unsolicited Commercial Bulk Email, that happens to everyfuckingbody?

is there some sort of credible online "Spam Email For Dummies" that i can point her to, so she can hear it from someone besides me?

and dont offer to talk to her on TWW. she already thinks everyone here is a bunch of porn junkies cause she saw some of the Photo Galleries in my browser history once or twice in the past

10/18/2007 7:52:13 PM

women are always right. you should know this if you're married.

so basically...leave your wife and go find yourself an e-whore.


/chitchat

10/18/2007 7:58:48 PM

sounds like you got bigger problems than some porn spam.

10/18/2007 8:02:51 PM

http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,115808-page,1/article.html
Opting-Out Can Cause More Spam Rather than Less

Quote :

"Beware even of spam that offers an opt-out option that supposedly ceases the barrage. Many spam messages invite you to click on a link or respond to the message, leading you to believe you have just unsubscribed. Disreputable junk e-mailers love this trick, because it confirms your e-mail address is valid. You may no longer see e-mail from the original spammer, but you're guaranteed to get more crud from a dozen more dirt bags."

Quote :

"Some spam is generated through attacks on mail servers, methods that don't rely on the collection of e-mail addresses at all."

Was her email ever posted anywhere on the internet?
http://www.cdt.org/speech/spam/figure1.gif

10/18/2007 8:04:52 PM

http://www.cdt.org/speech/spam/030319spamreport.shtml

http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node=spam

10/18/2007 8:06:12 PM

Why isn't it legal to spam the spammers and cause their bandwidth to melt?

10/18/2007 8:19:39 PM

can you set up a gmail account unbeknownst to her, and send all your ourfamilydomainname.net mail to that account, then have gmail filter out the spam, then download from Gmail. Then very little or no spam will actually reach your Thunderbird.

so.... when it all dries up, just say "ok, you caught me. i was looking at the porn, but now i'm clean"


apart from that, your wife just needs to wisen up. that, or lighten up....

[Edited on October 18, 2007 at 8:23 PM. Reason : .]

10/18/2007 8:22:39 PM

^ um... so i'll alleviate her suspicious inclinations by being deceitful?

dont thinks so.



anyhow i already let that domain expire (the 2yrs just ran out recently) because it wasnt a good domain name. had too much personally identifiable information.





[Edited on October 18, 2007 at 8:35 PM. Reason : ]

10/18/2007 8:31:22 PM

actually, this probably does belong in Chit Chat.

someone move please.

10/18/2007 8:42:34 PM

sounds like someone left their balls at the altar

10/18/2007 9:08:23 PM

usually I just play along when i get accused of htat stuff... basically just make up stories about the nasty german pics you're downloading, etc...

10/18/2007 9:13:59 PM

You know, just create a gmail account with your family name. Let it sit for a bit and then later, show her what the gmail spam filter caught. When she sees just how much random crap was filtered by them despite no one using the account, she should get the idea...

10/18/2007 9:20:30 PM

Quote :

"sounds like you got bigger problems than some porn spam."

10/18/2007 9:21:39 PM

Quote :

"sounds like you got bigger problems than some porn spam."

srsly

10/18/2007 9:23:25 PM

^^^Actually, have HER create this account without your knowledge of the address. When she starts getting SPAM there, it should prove your case. I created a Gmail account with my real surname and received junk mail before I gave that address to anyone or used it to register for any sites at all.

[Edited on October 18, 2007 at 9:29 PM. Reason : ]

10/18/2007 9:29:01 PM

Drop her email address on a porn site and show her what real spam is.

10/18/2007 9:37:30 PM

It sounds like your wife's retarded.

Might wanna get that looked at.

10/18/2007 9:49:04 PM

lol

10/18/2007 10:06:31 PM

Quote :

"It sounds like your wife's retarded. Might wanna get that looked at."

10/18/2007 10:10:03 PM

it actually took me months to get spam mail in my gmail account

10/18/2007 10:18:16 PM

she should look at my work email. i get 20x the spam as valid email and most of it is disgusting porn titles that i wouldn't want to look at anyway. i mean really how do they expect people to click on some of this shit.

anyway, point being that my boss doesn't think i surf porn all day, he knows that it comes just from having an email address, especially when it's something like support@companyname.com. i guess you should try again to explain to her that porn spam is a fact of life.

also tell her to stop watching tv.

10/18/2007 10:36:41 PM

My dad gets email like this at work and believe me if he would have looked at it at work he'd have been fired. Someone almost got fired for looking at a picture of a fully clothed fat chick as a joke. The problem is if your email address is posted ANYWHERE on the web or if you've EVER sent a reply to the "click here to unsubscribe" spam you will get this crap. Just about any site that you give an email address to can and probably will sell your email address.

Get a new email address for both accounts, don't post any email addresses on the site, or if you must put an email form on the site. Get a webmail account from somewhere and use that to register anything online. I use netzero and only check it to confim registration or whatever. Then tell your wife to shut the fuck up and start trusting you unless you've given her a reason not to.

Quote :

"Why isn't it legal to spam the spammers and cause their bandwidth to melt?"

I did this. Tired of some jackass kept sending me IM's. I spent hours registering him for hundreds of sites.

[Edited on October 18, 2007 at 10:48 PM. Reason : a]

10/18/2007 10:47:13 PM

hmm, i've never gotten a single spam message in 3 years at my job. Our IT sucks, in general, but I guess they're doing spam filtering right, at least.

10/18/2007 11:03:29 PM

I'm not that familiar with mail servers, but aren't there headers that indicate spam probability? I think it's X-SPAM or something like that -- have her wiki that header so she understands it, then look at the email messages. Most of them will have rankings that are fairly high.

You could also have her check out the online scoring table for SpamAssassin to show it's not just you.

http://spamassassin.apache.org/tests_3_2_x.html 

10/18/2007 11:30:09 PM

there are only headers if you have something to put the headers there...like spam assassin or something of the sort

even then i think the argument is that he's causing the spam to come - not that it's not spam and targeted emails

10/18/2007 11:32:11 PM

Quote :

"because she knows some gal at work whos husband left her for an online affair, or something stupid like that, she thinks this porn/viagra/penis spam is a result of me somehow "surfing porn". Because she KNOWS it isnt anything SHE is doing, and I'm the only other one here."

maybe explain to her that surfing porn =/= online affairs

if she found a profile on match.com, plentyoffish.com, etc etc maybe that would be more of a problem.

10/18/2007 11:47:32 PM

why would she care if you were looking at porn?

10/19/2007 4:07:54 AM

this is some Amsterdam718 shit right here

10/19/2007 6:58:48 AM

Quote :

"It sounds like your wife's retarded. Might wanna get that looked at."

10/19/2007 8:08:36 AM

you wife doesnt want you to look at porn?

10/19/2007 8:47:21 AM

she doesnt care about porn per se

she seems to be upset the most by thinking that i'm some how causing it to be attached to HER email address, or the Shared Family address, which was created originally to share family photos.

what bothers me about this is not that she thinks im looking at porn, but that she thinks im stupid.

10/19/2007 9:00:25 AM

sounds like she's the stupid one.

just show her this thread

oh, and

Quote :

"It sounds like your wife's retarded. Might wanna get that looked at."

[Edited on October 19, 2007 at 10:36 AM. Reason : ]

10/19/2007 10:36:01 AM

Quote :

"Actually, have HER create this account without your knowledge of the address. When she starts getting SPAM there, it should prove your case. I created a Gmail account with my real surname and received junk mail before I gave that address to anyone or used it to register for any sites at all. "

was what i would've said

10/19/2007 10:53:42 AM

does she understand junk mail you get in your mailbox? tell her it's the same, except it promises transvestites getting fucked by horses while being choked by a midget instead of credit cards

[Edited on October 19, 2007 at 11:14 AM. Reason : snail mail, that is]

10/19/2007 11:14:35 AM

...Yo Holmes to Bel-Aire

10/19/2007 11:20:03 AM

Dude, get your balls out of that vise.

10/19/2007 11:20:53 AM

if it isn't true, don't defend it. just makes you look guilty.

10/19/2007 11:38:01 AM

Quote :

"sounds like you got bigger problems than some porn spam."

10/19/2007 11:44:19 AM

Quote :

"vise"

10/19/2007 11:46:31 AM

1) tell your wife the truth
2) if she doesn't believe you, divorce her
3) marry someone who trusts you
4) enjoy life

10/19/2007 11:47:44 AM

Both vice and vise are correct spellings for the tool.

10/19/2007 12:02:57 PM

Quote :

"penis spam"

10/19/2007 3:16:35 PM

Quote :

"It sounds like your wife's retarded. Might wanna get that looked at."

10/19/2007 3:19:04 PM

you porn watcher

10/19/2007 3:19:41 PM

Quote :

"I got 99 problems but a small dick ain't one"

10/19/2007 3:22:19 PM

I've been getting a lot of that lately. Usually, gmail is really good at filtering that stuff out as spam.

However, I do have my school email forwarded to my gmail. it might be a case where they sold my addy to someone.

lord knows, as soon as I graduated from NCSU, that email addy was sold with the quickness.
it was like....I graduated...came home...hopped on the computer...then read ENGLARGE YOUR PENIS! SATISFY YOUR WIFE BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES!

10/19/2007 3:42:39 PM

Phrase: C0mpany
Phrase: can last longer
Uses a mis-spelled version of cialis.
Phrase: email hier
Phrase: extra inches
Phrase: Farmacy
Looks like trying to sell meds
Looks like generic viagra
Phrase hey bro,
Phrase: HGH
Phrase (dollar) x home loan
Phrase: impress ... girl
Phrase: Increase your energy
Phrase: independent reward
Phrase: L0an
Phrase: lower your monthly payments
Phrase: Med1cat
Phrase: no prescription needed.
Speaks of teenager.
Speaks of 20+ year old.
Mis-spelled online
Phrase: p1ll
Phrase: penis growth
Phrase: Dollar, with pipes or 0's.
Talks about prolonged hardness
Phrase: quality replica
Phrase: REPLICA
Looks like refi.
Phrase: rolx
Phrase: Softabs
Phrase: F R E E
Phrase: SPUR-M
Phrase: ssex
Looks like stocks exploding.
Phrase: this advertiser
Phrase: thousand personal
Phrase: to stop further distribution
Phrase: Ultra Allure
Phrase: lock to your girlfriend
Looks like a word ending with a (dollar)
Phrase: yourself master
Phrase: Your refi

10/20/2007 1:24:52 PM

women lack this thing we men refer to as "logical reasoning"

don't waste your time trying to make her understand.

10/20/2007 1:44:25 PM

this is stupid. Everybody gets spam. I know this girl who got a bunch of this stuff and then blamed ME for "signing her up for it."

^ some women lack logical reasoning. joe_schmoe's wife is one of them.

10/20/2007 2:35:26 PM

set em up

10/20/2007 2:43:07 PM