So last night, we're watching TV in bed, and she's cuddled up next to me with her head propped up on my left shoulder. I was watching football, and she not being a big football fan, was bored and looking around and doing other things. She played with my nipple rings for a few minutes, making sure they were perfectly straight, before she looked up at me and said, "Have you washed your eye recently?"

She's pretty good about reminding me to wash my eye every couple of weeks. It's quite easy to forget, but is something that definitely needs to be done. I replied that I hadn't done it lately but would do it sometime later on in the week. She sat up in bed a little bit from her comfy position and looked me in the eye and said "Can I do it for you?"

I was a little weireded out over that question... I mean, isn't that kinda like me saying "Can I change your tampon for you?" I chuckled at her question a little bit and then she reminded me that last year when she was helping me after my operation that she had dressed the wound, washed the temporary eye, and all that good stuff, and she would be happy to do this for me. Plus she said it's something that she liked to do

Still feeling a little odd about the whole situation, I nod and give her the OK. She jumps out of bed and skips like a 13 year old girl to my side of the bathroom (my sink and cabinets is on the right, hers on the left). She goes into the drawer where I keep all of my eye care supplies and returns with a little blue suction cup device, that looks like one of those suction cup darts that shoot out of toy guns.

I've got my head propped up on my pillows watching the Georgia Tech football game, so she crawls back into bed and asks me if I'm ready. I face her a little bit, look straight ahead as she ever so slowly moves the suction cup towards my eye. A couple of seconds later I feel a little pressure the left side of my face while she positions the suction cup over the iris, and then I can see her from my right eye looking over at her, slowly pull the eye out. Like clockwork, the little "pop" noise let me know that the eye was successfully removed.

Elena darted off to the bathroom again, mumbling the words to some Italian pop song, and stays in the bathroom for a couple of minutes. She then emerged drying the eye in a Kleenex. Returning to bed once more, she asks me if she can try putting the eye back in. Putting the eye back in is a whole different ballgame than taking it out, and takes a good amount of work to make sure it goes in correctly.

I reluctantly say okay, and she asked me to lay down flat. She used her left hand to spread open the eyelid and bottom of the eye socket open, and then ever so carefully placed the eye back in the socket. It always feels so weird once you put a clean eye in there, because the eyelid sorta sticks to the eye for a few moments.

Once it was placed back in, she asked me to look around to make sure it gets properly aligned, and within seconds of moving my eyes in a circle the eye secured its position to the movable implant and we're done.

I congratulated her and she was all happy that I let her do this for me. She then sternly reminded me that I need to make sure I clean the eye every couple of weeks out of habit. I know it's hard to remember, because when I wore contacts, my 2-week contacts became the 2-months contacts. Satisfied with her good deed, she propped herself back on my shoulder and fell asleep within minutes. I finish the game and then join her in the world of darkness.

--------------

Summary:
1) Watching football game while in bed with girlfriend
2) She's bored, asks if she can clean my eyeball for me. I say OK
3) She darts to bathroom, and get the eyeball remover suction cup thingy
4) Removes the eye and washes it in bathroom sink
5) Drys the eye with a Kleenex and asks if she can try putting it in (more difficult than taking out). Again I say OK
6) She spreads my eye socket open as far as she can, and then places the eyeball onto the orbital implant like placing a piece on a jigsaw puzzle
7) The eye secures itself within minutes, and I receive a harsh reminder that I need to remember to do this more often.
8) She falls asleep. I finish the football game, and fall asleep too.

Read my old blogs at the Official JoeNumbers Blog

9/16/2007 9:12:41 AM

Things like that are totally a girl thing.

Most of us have some strange fascination with grooming our significant other from the mundane combing of one's hair to the stranger popping of pimples and cleaning out ear wax.

[Edited on September 16, 2007 at 9:19 AM. Reason : sp]

9/16/2007 9:17:30 AM

^yep.

9/16/2007 9:19:00 AM

^^ Precisely.

We also enjoy studying what comes out of your pores.

9/16/2007 9:21:17 AM

when I was little, I can remember my grandmother popping huge zits on my dads back(mom wouldnt do it).....lol

9/16/2007 9:21:17 AM

Quote :

"and looked me in the eye"

lol


that said, this was a great blog.

9/16/2007 9:50:30 AM

9/16/2007 10:06:14 AM

so apparently it's been about 10 months since you updated your blog. Just this morning, the new post showed up in Google Reader, and I didn't recognize the name. I started reading it and was like "W.T.F. who is this and why am I subscribed to his blog?"
then I remembered that, oh yeah, it's probably that Joe dude on TWW with one arm and a fake eye. then I surfed on over to Chit Chat, and yep, here you are

9/16/2007 10:29:26 AM

haha someone actually subscribes to my blog

9/16/2007 10:41:49 AM

where are the PICS

9/16/2007 10:53:55 AM

^^I do...I just haven't opened google reader yet for the day.

your gf is such a good sport. And this part made me go 'awwwwwww':

Quote :

"She jumps out of bed and skips like a 13 year old girl"

9/16/2007 12:04:52 PM

How'd you lose the eye to begin with?

9/16/2007 12:05:36 PM

Quote :

"Read my old blogs at the Official JoeNumbers Blog"

9/16/2007 12:06:39 PM

we need a new "smiley" for TWW in honor of joe#s, it could be this guy or this guy but with only one eye







or better yet... It could be this guy but only one of the eyes moves. lol




[Edited on September 16, 2007 at 12:09 PM. Reason : .]

9/16/2007 12:08:24 PM

nah


it needs to be a completely content face - use , but replace one eye with a patch or an x

9/16/2007 12:11:05 PM

Quote :

"Read my old blogs at the Official JoeNumbers Blog"

I couldn't find anything about the actual cause... just about the subsequent surgeries.

9/16/2007 12:12:41 PM

Ninjas stabbed him in the eye with a cocktail fork.

9/16/2007 12:13:39 PM

he had the AIDS but doctors used magic to concentrate it in one eye. they then ripped it out with the back of a claw hammer.

[Edited on September 16, 2007 at 12:15 PM. Reason : they took his arm out of spite as well]

9/16/2007 12:15:19 PM

Marry her....


That's all

9/16/2007 12:18:57 PM

^ Wisdom

This is all the fallout of a car wreck(s) correct?

9/16/2007 1:00:36 PM

Joe wins.

9/16/2007 3:19:41 PM

Quote :

"combing of one's hair to the stranger popping of pimples and cleaning out ear wax"

mymy, and i thought this was just erica...

9/16/2007 3:26:10 PM

Quote :

"Ninjas stabbed him in the eye with a cocktail fork."

you should see the other guy...

9/16/2007 5:35:50 PM

9/16/2007 5:39:01 PM

Yeah definitely hold on to this one, because it might be tough finding another one to do this. Although I'd like to know what your eye socket looks like.

9/16/2007 5:42:41 PM

Quote :

"Marry her...."

I dunno when it's time to start thinking seriously about marriage. People ask me this all the time, but I can't help to wonder if we're still too young... I'm only 25, and she's 23.

I'm getting quite convinced though that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. We've only been dating for about 1.5 years, but who's to say that isn't long enough to know this?

9/16/2007 5:50:18 PM

9/16/2007 5:51:48 PM

Joe sounds like a very smart, nice, and sensible person.



What the hell is he doing on TWW?

9/16/2007 7:02:18 PM

Quote :

"we need a new "smiley" for TWW in honor of joe#s"

We already have one:

One eye there, one empty socket

Sweet girl. Lucky dude, you are. She is Italian, huh? Even better!

9/16/2007 7:26:02 PM

^ look ^^^

9/16/2007 7:37:02 PM

1337

9/16/2007 7:38:02 PM

oh shit!!!

9/16/2007 7:39:46 PM

this girl wanted to play with your eye?

9/16/2007 7:42:42 PM

is that her? damn dawg, just marry her!

btw, she doesn't look italian to me :-/

9/16/2007 7:50:22 PM

yah that whole.....

Quote :

"Most of us have some strange fascination with grooming our significant other"

is so true. There is something about having a vag that makes this a complete necessity. Its actually quite irritating





btw, this i thought was so cute

Quote :

"Elena darted off to the bathroom again, mumbling the words to some Italian pop song"

9/16/2007 9:28:12 PM

Quote :

"Most of us have some strange fascination with grooming our significant other from the mundane combing of one's hair to the stranger popping of pimples and cleaning out ear wax."

I'll agree with the grooming bit, but not the rest. I'll get on guys with bushy eyebrows, messy hair, doing the "yard work" and things, but zits and ear wax is their own business. That being said, I'd help out with cleaning someone's eye because that is proof that it is true love

Quote :

"I'm getting quite convinced though that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. We've only been dating for about 1.5 years, but who's to say that isn't long enough to know this?"

awwww

9/16/2007 10:20:38 PM

joe17669, your blog is the only thing on the internet that can make me cringe, laugh, and cry at the same time.

keep up the good work.

oh yeah, when I come to ATL, I'm crashing on your couch. Just giving you a little heads up...

9/16/2007 10:21:45 PM

dude your life is a freak show

9/16/2007 10:21:55 PM

When I first saw the thread title, I refused to click. I was afraid it was some code word for some nasty sex thing... but then I saw that joenumbers posted it. And I knew it was really about his eyeball.

9/16/2007 10:23:38 PM

So my girlfriend officially isn't the only one (besides the doctor and me) to wash my eyeball now.

My old roommate and best friend Adam from NCSU made his anual visit to Atlanta last weekend, and of course he stayed at my place with Elena and me. He's a doctor, working on his residency at Duke, and he of course was interested in the surgery I had since I last saw him. He didn't hesitate a second to ask if he could take the eye out and look at it and look at the inside of my skull. I was sorta like but agreed.

Elena, who had only met Adam briefly once before, was a little reluctant to let "some stranger" mess around with my face because he doesn't know how to do it (him being a doctor doesn't matter to her). So she turned into the teacher, and with me as the test dummy, instructed him on properly removing and inserting an eyeball. I couldn't really see much other than two blurs since I had my glasses off, but was happy to give Elena an opportunity to "bond" with Adam. It was quite a strange thing to have 4 hands poking around the inside of your head, and quite a strange sight as well. I can only imagine what would happen if an outsider walked in and saw us

11/8/2007 8:59:14 AM

can i be next?

11/8/2007 9:03:22 AM

next time it's out, take a picture

11/8/2007 9:05:12 AM

Quote :

"is so true. There is something about having a vag that makes this a complete necessity. Its actually quite irritating "

And we have a fascination with our s/o boobs and subsequent vag and cant get enough ogling in.

11/8/2007 9:13:08 AM

joe i just perused your blog, man you went through a lot.

the girlfriend eyeball story definitely made me laugh this morning.

11/8/2007 9:23:12 AM

my girlfriend doesn't want to pop my pimples or clean out my ear wax

that's fucking gross

11/8/2007 10:32:00 AM

if course it's gross, but girls love it for some reason

11/8/2007 10:36:11 AM

I watched How Its Made on artificial acrylic eyes last night--I was very much so grossed out looking at the vacant socket. I can do many other weird grooming things on my bf, but I don't think this could be it.

11/8/2007 11:47:05 AM

^^^, ^^not all girls do things like that

11/8/2007 11:48:57 AM

11/8/2007 12:09:04 PM

Good blog post. Marry that girl.

11/8/2007 12:11:07 PM