Thought this might interest some as it is from the area.

Wish there were more parents like that, especially among the black and latino community.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/16/AR2007031602673.html

Quote :

"No, My Son Doesn’t ‘Act Black’: There’s No Such Thing Aleta Payne, The Washington Post Sam came home from the overnighter visibly crushed. He curled around his hurt as though he’d been punched in the gut, and he refused to say what had happened. My husband and I fought panic as all the horrible things that might happen to a 14-year-old away from home pounded through our brains. We cajoled and interrogated as he tried to disappear into the living room sofa, until finally, enough of the story emerged to reassure us that our oldest son hadn’t been physically injured. But his suffering was still real. His friends had asked him why he didn’t act black. My husband and I were dumbfounded. We had been challenged ourselves with variations on this same question 30 years ago. But back then, we were being teased by our African-American peers, many of whom were growing up in communities where they saw little opportunity for success or achievement and where frustration took root early. Sam’s questioners were white suburban teen-agers, living college-bound lives of comfort. Poised to start high school, Sam is at the age where he wants nothing more than the acceptance of his peers. So this question staggered him. And while we learned the basics of the story then, the details have emerged — syllable by reluctant syllable — in the months since. That it had not happened that one time but had built over months. That it was always the same small group of boys who generally treated him as one of their buds. That he’d stopped being able to laugh it off as the question wore at him. “People think I should be able to rap or something,” he said. “Like they see in movies and crap.” Strong words from our almost silent son. “They want me to act like something I’m not.” Sam is studious and quiet, much as his father and I were at his age. He inherited my light complexion and poor eyesight, his father’s analytical mind and love of tennis. Apparently his wire-rimmed glasses and athletic leanings undermined any “street cred.” Though our North Carolina town isn’t especially diverse, and our three sons attend mostly white private schools in Raleigh, I don’t know that it has ever occurred to Sam that he is sometimes the only child of color in a room. But he certainly felt isolated by the expectation that he should behave like some modern-day minstrel in bling instead of blackface. I know Sam’s friends. He has visited their homes, and we’ve had them in ours. I doubt that they had any idea how painful their misguided teasing could be. I suspect that if they thought others were treating Sam unfairly, they’d stand up for him. But they have listened to rap and watched music videos that paint a picture of African-Americans as loud, rude, undereducated, oversexed. Where guys in grills and girls in short shorts grinding against one another appear to be the norm. The boys whose words hurt Sam are skateboarders and soccer players, not hip-hop wannabes. But they have still been inundated with what it is to be gangsta and they may be dangerously close to believing that that is what it means to be black. Or its inverse, what Sen. Barack Obama has called “the slander that a black youth with a book is acting white.” I thought, or at least hoped, that my children’s generation had transcended that, even if their parents aren’t there yet. I’d had a sense that there was still work to be done when I overheard some young people from our church freely using “ghetto” as their adjective of choice in a conversation. The word was unexpected and discordant, coming from this particular group at that particular time — we’d just driven down a patch of rural highway in my minivan to a corn maze. “Ghetto” could not have been farther from their reality. Their use of it was as out of place as my mother volunteering her opinion of Snoop Dogg’s latest CD. Combating stereotypes, my husband and I have made certain choices for our three boys. Guns have been particularly unkind to the black community, so the closest they’ve ever come to one, even as a toy, is a Super Soaker. We strive for proper English, limit what music they download and which movies they watch. The boys know about the accomplishments of their ancestors — not just historical figures in a textbook, but a grandfather who emerged from poverty in strictly segregated Alabama to become a college president. The work of our ancestors is not finished, but I’d thought there was less to do. Some parents, white and black, may not recognize the accumulated damage from what is being sold to all our children. Perhaps they want to be the cool mom and dad or perhaps they just don’t want another fight with their teen-ager. They may screen the movies their children leave the house to see, but they allow them to stay home with 50 Cent and his legendary bullet scars or the profanity-laced catfighting on “Flavor of Love.” The mature brain can understand what’s intended as exaggerated entertainment. But young minds aren’t yet hardwired to decipher what’s for real from what’s for show. And perception can eventually harden into attitude. Pop culture creeps into our lives through every unguarded crevice. Some of that is fine, or at least benign. But some of it leaves African-Americans in danger of being enslaved by imagery as we were once enslaved by law. And that’s something I refuse to allow to happen to my sons. — Aleta Payne is a writer and editor in Cary, North Carolina."

[Edited on March 21, 2007 at 1:10 PM. Reason : i KNOW someone will come here and call me racist! who is it gonna be?]

3/21/2007 1:05:17 PM

Quote :

"I’d had a sense that there was still work to be done when I overheard some young people from our church freely using “ghetto” as their adjective of choice in a conversation."

The Jews would agree with you

3/21/2007 1:11:44 PM

Quote :

"OEPII1: Wish there were more parents like that, specially among the black and latino community."

AHA, you totally missed the point.

3/21/2007 1:22:16 PM

The article (column?) was good. I thought it was a little weird that the author chose to pretend to be shocked about all this. Like, it just registered to her when her son brought it up or something. That's not possible unless she lives under a rock.

[Edited on March 21, 2007 at 1:24 PM. Reason : VMaking the best of it. ]

3/21/2007 1:22:16 PM

[Edited on March 21, 2007 at 1:34 PM. Reason : ^touche]

3/21/2007 1:23:26 PM

Quote :

"His friends had asked him why he didn’t act black."

Quote :

"Aleta Payne is a writer and editor in Cary, North Carolina"

3/21/2007 1:42:26 PM

LBC, LOWER BLACK CARY or some shit that not funny dude said

3/21/2007 1:49:56 PM

^^^^Correction:

I meant writer, not author.

3/21/2007 1:58:46 PM

oh gosh kids are still getting teased for various things in school? what a shocker

3/21/2007 2:44:25 PM

Quote :

"His friends had asked him why he didn’t act black."

"Because I'm one of the good ones." Problem solved.

3/21/2007 3:08:14 PM

Quote :

"the slander that a black youth with a book is acting white."

Damn Obama rocks.

3/21/2007 3:17:51 PM

So when blacks do care about their education and future, they get derided for not acting black, but when they do act black, they get called the n-word. Black people just can't win.

3/21/2007 3:26:27 PM

Quote :

"The boys whose words hurt Sam are skateboarders and soccer players"

nice white stereotypes there...I guess if you're white and arent a skateboarder or soccer player you aren't "acting white"

3/21/2007 3:29:56 PM

when i read it i thought that they were black, why are you assuming they are white?

3/21/2007 3:40:55 PM

Quote :

"Sam’s questioners were white suburban teen-agers, living college-bound lives of comfort"

[Edited on March 21, 2007 at 3:44 PM. Reason : .]

3/21/2007 3:43:17 PM

ah, i could have sworn it said black friends somewhere. i suck at reading comprehension

3/21/2007 3:45:20 PM

maybe you should practice reading comprehension with a book, even though people who saw you with that book would be like "why arent you acting black"

3/21/2007 3:46:29 PM

I'll never forget when I moved down to NC in the 8th grade at the awards assembly in my school when the first black girl in the honor roll list walked across the stage a large group of black kids started to boo, laugh, and shout things like "Oreo!". It was quite disturbing. Its like there isn't even a role for white bigots in oppressing blacks anymore because the prevailing culture for African-Americans is far more destructive than anything. It has gone from from staying true to African heritage and deep cultural roots in American history to being proud about stereotypical ghetto extremes... it makes no sense.

3/21/2007 3:53:10 PM

maybe i should share some stories about public middle school in durham

3/21/2007 3:58:58 PM

^^ man, that's f'ed up beyond any words. totally despicable and barbaric, i would say.

but be careful, some uptight PC people in here might call you racist for pointing out that obvious destructive flaw in the black-american culture.

3/21/2007 4:27:41 PM

hopefully no uptight people like OEP will call me a racist when I point out the obvious violent flaw in the islamic culture

3/21/2007 4:33:08 PM

4^ that makes me want to cry

3/21/2007 6:22:50 PM

The people peddling "black" entertainment disgust me.

It's obvious that they have zero regard for the young they claim to represent.

3/21/2007 9:12:27 PM

Quote :

"Aleta Payne is a writer and editor in Cary, North Carolina"

i never went to school in cary, but from seeing kids over here gettin out of the school bus every day, white kids do tend to at least dress black (esp. middle school)

3/21/2007 9:21:36 PM

^ I went to school in Cary (K-12).

The white kids dressed up however they wanted. You had a clique for every occasion, with most of the kids just trying to dress/be normal. Then again all the schools I went to were rather excellent and extremely safe compared to the inner-city schools in the area (based upon conversations I keep having with people from Raleigh). I figure they're a bit different...

A lot of the white kids were ignorant fucks that listened to rap music too, and I can see how some kids like this would bring up a question like this. They're just dumb and ignorant.

3/21/2007 9:42:57 PM

^Could you name some of these unsafe inner-city schools?

3/21/2007 10:15:51 PM

Good thread.

3/21/2007 10:16:54 PM

there are no "unsafe" Raleigh schools. However some are nicer than others.

[Edited on March 21, 2007 at 10:48 PM. Reason : !]

3/21/2007 10:48:12 PM

I'm waiting to hear what the fuck Mindstorm was blabbering about.

3/21/2007 10:51:31 PM

ENLOE!

GHETTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOO

3/21/2007 10:52:16 PM

AHA. Enloe is one of the best public schools in North Carolina though.

3/21/2007 10:55:25 PM

bitches gettin capped on new bern street dooooooggggggggggg

PEEDY PAB MO FUCKAAAAAAAAAA

3/21/2007 10:56:34 PM

They've failed as parents

3/21/2007 11:22:50 PM

Quote :

"nice white stereotypes there...I guess if you're white and arent a skateboarder or soccer player you aren't "acting white""

She was describing Sam's friends, not white people in general.

Given that this is in Cary, I'm not that surprised. The town is like 90% white. IIRC, God grew up in Cary and started a thread a few years back asking all kinds of questions about black people because he hadn't had much contact with them.

3/22/2007 12:07:50 AM

Quote :

"There’s No Such Thing"

3/22/2007 7:43:58 AM

^^I grew up in Cary and had plenty of contact with Black people and a variety of minority groups really. Sure, Cary is less diverse than a lot of places but i'd say that a sizeable portion of my childhood friends were from minority groups. Its pretty interesting watching my parent's neighborhood grow far more diverse over the last few years. It's actually pretty cool to see and has really changed the dynamic of the neighborhood (for the better in my opinion).

3/22/2007 8:10:58 AM

Quote :

"nice white stereotypes there...I guess if you're white and arent a skateboarder or soccer player you aren't "acting white""

maybe they were skateboarders and soccer players. jeez wtf.

3/22/2007 8:45:26 AM

Quote :

"People think I should be able to rap or something,” he said. “Like they see in movies and crap.” "

apparently he is unknowingly rapping in the article

3/22/2007 9:16:08 AM

Quote :

"It's actually pretty cool to see and has really changed the dynamic of the neighborhood (for the better in my opinion)."

[i]NOTHING[/I] is cool about Cary.

3/22/2007 10:27:00 AM

I disagree, while I am not a fan of much of what goes on in Cary, overall it was a decent place to grow up. Having not lived there in years and living so far away now, its not such a bad place to come home to every once in a while.

3/22/2007 10:31:34 AM

When my sister "graduated" from 8th grade at West Lake Middle School my parents were a little at the ceremony because all the white kids would hoot and holler whenever the black "cool" kids had their names called, and to both groups of kids involved that was "OK" to them.

3/22/2007 10:35:00 AM

No its not a bad place to live, I have other objections to it, but I'm wierd like that.

3/22/2007 12:32:51 PM

^^Your parents are fucking retarded.

3/22/2007 2:22:44 PM

Ok..

3/22/2007 2:48:26 PM

I had a black friend that played on my YMCA soccer team in like 5th grade, I remember other black people walking by who would make fun of him for playing soccer. Dang stereotypes.

3/22/2007 3:05:58 PM

I don't understand why Enloe is thought of as ghetto.

Just because a school is 40-50% "black people" doesn't mean it is ghetto.

Enloe is a very diverse school

0.1% American Indian
12.5% Asian American
2.5% Latino
33.7% African American
48.3% Caucasian/White
2.9% Biracial

Cary isn't much different
0.1% American Indian
7.3% Asian American
9.7% Latino
16.4% African American
62.9% Caucasian/White
3.6% Biracial

http://www.wcpss.net/demographics/race-ethnicity/race-gender06.pdf

In all my years at Enloe no one was ever murdered. I don't even remember kids being murdered or dying drunk driving...unlike the kids in the affluent Wakefield (N. Raleigh) or Apex High School districts. I even remember a kid being murdered in a fight over a hat at Millbrook High School (N. Raleigh)

3/22/2007 11:40:21 PM

Nah Bridget I don't want to talk to you.

I'd rather get drunk.

3/22/2007 11:44:25 PM

Quote :

"7.3% Asian American"

That's the problem with Cary. Not enough hot Japanese chicks!

3/23/2007 5:37:55 AM

^^

3/23/2007 7:26:02 AM

Quote :

"Though our North Carolina town isn’t especially diverse, and our three sons attend mostly white private schools in Raleigh"

ha ha I guessed Cary before I got to the end

3/23/2007 8:19:10 AM