I was a receptionist for three years and worked with this one girl in particular the whole time. We got along great, although plenty of employees quit because of constant arguments between this girl and them. We’ll call her Judy.

Well, Judy began to make racist comments towards me such as calling me a spoiled little white girl because I attended college. She also called me a bitch in front of our clients because when I answered a call for her and I asked who it was which infringed on her privacy. I told my boss (who is my uncle/good friend) several times of how I felt attacked by her. After the last time, when she threatened me in front of a new employee and my boss (I answered a call for her, told her she had a call, she asked who it was, and when I told her ‘You told me never to find out’ she proceeded to say ‘I don’t care what I told you before, I’m telling you now to find out who it is or else’)

My boss told me that there are some things that you just can’t change in people, and that I basically need to be able to tolerate her or just stay in a separate room. I was hysterical and just walked out, never went back. My mother suggested to me that I should sue my boss and Judy. I think my boss realized his wrong because he paid me two weeks worth of pay even after I quit.

I know this is a long story, sorry. I probably shouldn’t dig it up, either. But the other day as I was waitressing at my new job I saw one of my clients come in. They asked me how I liked my internship. When I informed them that I never had an internship and that I had quit they were shocked. I’ve been enraged since then. Not only have I been through a lot of psychological issues, they’re making false statements about me to save their reputation. Is there any way that I can sue my ex-boss and ex-coworker?

[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 2:22 PM. Reason : ]

3/18/2007 2:20:10 PM

No

you are not a princess anymore, welcome to the real life

3/18/2007 2:22:56 PM

talk to a lawyer

3/18/2007 2:24:09 PM

^^ I never claimed to be a princess. Don't talk to me about real life because you have NO idea who you are talking to. You try finding a job that fills your 60houraweek quota immediately after going through a horrible ordeal like that.

Not only did I stick with them for 3 months longer than I should have for sake of the company, I did it for my family too because Thanksgiving was coming up.

[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 2:26 PM. Reason : ]

3/18/2007 2:25:36 PM

If you've been harrassed at work, its time to let your boss know you mean businesses. Contact the law offices of TWW, and let our group of distinguished law professionals go to work for you.

3/18/2007 2:26:29 PM

Despite legal precedence to the contrary, you shouldn't sue for getting your feelings hurt. You weren't happy with your co-workers so you quit. You did the right thing. Walk away and let it go. It's over. Unless there is slander involved that can have a documentable effect on your future career prospects, you should just ignore it and move on. Some people suck. That's life.

3/18/2007 2:28:23 PM

Not matter what anybody tells you, you did the right thing by consulting TWW

3/18/2007 2:28:59 PM

^^that a dangerous 666 post right there

3/18/2007 2:29:05 PM

Wait, am I reading this right?

Quote :

"I told my boss (who is my uncle/good friend) several times of how I felt attacked by her"

Your uncle/good friend is giving you problems?

3/18/2007 2:29:14 PM

Well, it's been a couple of months since I've left, and honestly I was able to let it go and just cope with it until those clients came in and told me what my boss had told everyone. The thing is, where I worked I answered calls for approximately 70 small companies, many of which are in the biomedical business, one even got me a summer internship! So if my boss did not tell them the truth, (maybe he told them I was fired!), then that's one more networking professional and cool guy that I can't talk to after graduation.

3/18/2007 2:31:44 PM

What kind of psychological issues?

3/18/2007 2:32:11 PM

^^^ He's not a blood relative, but he's more of an uncle to me than my blood uncles are. He's basically been a part of my family since I was 6 (thanksgiving, christmas, new years, and family vacations). My mom used to work for him (basically same position as I did) and had to quit because he was patronizing her.

^ I couldn't stop crying for 2 days. I already have a real problem with failure, but to be attacked and forgotten the way I was made me feel horrible. I did really bad in my studies the week or two after (but then finals came and I did ok). I guess I was just depressed. And I was too scared to tell my parents because I didn't want our family to fall apart because I couldn't deal with the harrassment

[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 2:34 PM. Reason : ]

3/18/2007 2:33:01 PM

SEriously, what the fuck is your problem?

3/18/2007 2:34:58 PM

Could you be more specific?

3/18/2007 2:35:46 PM

just walk back in, punch her in the face and leave

3/18/2007 2:38:22 PM

you're blowing this way out of proportion.

if you don't get along with someone, minimize any contact with them.

you didn't. you lost.

lesson learned

3/18/2007 2:38:33 PM

Well that's just it. Judy I don't need to worry about, she's opening a daycare in garner and will be far away. I can't avoid my uncle because I will not leave my family.

3/18/2007 2:40:24 PM

but you just said he wasn't your uncle. and if he's treated your mother like this, why does your family continue to hang out with him? Does he have dirt on y'all?

3/18/2007 2:42:12 PM

yeah i don't get it.

first he treated your mom improperly.

and now he is perhaps treating you improperly by lying about your job.

3/18/2007 2:44:25 PM

^^^ She's going to work with children.... that's just great.

[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 2:45 PM. Reason : not enough ^'s]

3/18/2007 2:44:51 PM

Well, my mom was also give a much better job opportunity which, if she hadn't, she would have stayed and dealt with him. And he wasn't the problem for me so much as the girl. We still care very much for him and want him to be happy, but professionally I don't like him.

^Yeah, well she has 3 kids each with different fathers, so she's used to the whole corralling thing. I teach swim lessons to kids and when I offered to teach her kids she told me that she'll just teach them by throwing them in the water and making them learn for themselves. Honestly she could have been joking, but I was not laughing


[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 2:48 PM. Reason : ^]

3/18/2007 2:46:42 PM

There's not a whole lot you can do, sorry. Sometimes you don't get along with coworkers. If you walked out and didn't come back you quit. It's called job abandonment, you have no grounds for a lawsuit because you weren't fired nor were you "harassed." Someone yelled at you; grow up, learn from this experience, and realize that life isn't all sunshine and puppies.

3/18/2007 2:50:58 PM

^ exactly

3/18/2007 2:52:44 PM

Perhaps you don't get it. I don't want to be the one to have suffered. I want to even out the score. I don't like Judy especially and I want to ruin her life. Vindictive? Yes absolutely. Immature? Sure. BUT GETTING HARRASSED OUT OF A JOB WHEN I HAVE OVER $1000 A MONTH IN BILLS TO PAY AND BEING SOL FOR TWO MONTHS IS NOT A FUN THING TO HANDLE.

3/18/2007 2:54:32 PM

Quote :

"I couldn't stop crying for 2 days. I already have a real problem with failure, but to be attacked and forgotten the way I was made me feel horrible. I did really bad in my studies the week or two after (but then finals came and I did ok). I guess I was just depressed. And I was too scared to tell my parents because I didn't want our family to fall apart because I couldn't deal with the harrassment "

haha... wow, grow up

once again... you are not a princess

3/18/2007 2:54:33 PM

You should've asked your boss why it's necessary to "put up with people like that." Some people are just naturally assholes, there's no disputing that, but when they start directing inappropriate language at you (and in front of clients, no less!) or if they start making threats, that is BEYOND just being a crabby person. That is unprofessional behavior, and more than likely there are laws against that kind of harassment (making threats, at least).

While quitting your job was certainly one way of handling the situation, I really think you should have stuck around and tried to get tape-recordings or eye-witness testimony or something. Then taken that evidence to a lawyer. Say that you're being harassed and that you've told your boss about it but he refuses to do anything about it. But it's a little late for that now, so it's a bit of a moot point.

And I don't care whether or not he's an "uncle" to you, him telling lies about the nature of your position there is not cool. If he acts this way professionally, who's to say that he acts any better on a more personal level? Especially given what you said about your mother working for him, I'd suggest that you just refrain from talking to him ever again. I'm not really sure if there's much you can do now from a legal point of view, but you don't need that kind of douche-baggery in your life.

3/18/2007 2:54:48 PM

Thanks for your post. You're very correct, I don't need that "douche-baggery". Funny thing is, the second or third time I talked to him I mentioned that maybe we voicerecord the front office to catch her in the act (he told me he's never witnessed the harrassment, so it's my word against hers). He told me that it was illegal in the contract for our clients to tape record anything, something about confidentiality agreement and security of their company.

Kurtis what do you consider harrassment?

[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 3:00 PM. Reason : ]

3/18/2007 2:58:51 PM

I could see there being a grain of truth to that, but in the context of things that sounds awfully convenient.

3/18/2007 3:00:37 PM

Quote :

"I want to even out the score. I don't like Judy especially and I want to ruin her life."

if that's all you want to do, simple:

you said she is opening a daycare, and she apparently joked to you that she would throw her kids into the pool to teach them how to swim.

ok, contact whatever agencies overlook/authorize daycares and tell them exactly that.

maybe she won't get into permanent trouble, but she will surely get into some hot water.

3/18/2007 3:00:38 PM

Quote :

"They asked me how I liked my internship. When I informed them that I never had an internship and that I had quit they were shocked. I’ve been enraged since then."

It seems like he is helping you out. Telling people you only had an internship is better than telling them you walked out on the job. You should thank him.

Quote :

"My mom used to work for him (basically same position as I did) and had to quit because he was patronizing her."

So you went to work for someone who not only has a history of being a douche but was a douche to your own mother?


Everyone is right about this one... get over it. Some jobs suck, some suck more. You will not get along with everyone in life, including those you must be around. So toughen your skin, learn to take jabs at them when you can and move along.

3/18/2007 3:09:36 PM

If it was a provable, continuous pattern of hostile behavior then you could consider it harassment, however your "uncle" was a bit hamstrung because in this situation it's basically your word against hers. Unless there are witnesses he has no sound grounds to terminate "Judy." He could have shitcanned her, but then he could get sued for wrongful termination and depending on the specifics of the case he could lose.

My personal feeling is that you should be able to hire and fire as you choose with little or no grounds for either, but that's not the way the world works now, unfortunately. It's damned hard to fire someone in today's world, especially a minority female (i'm assuming she is since she called you a "spoiled little white girl").

You could have pushed the issue, you could have contacted your company's human resources person (if there was one) or your boss's boss. Instead you acted like a child and walked out without notice. You should be thanking your "uncle" for saying that you quit to take an internship instead of saying "she walked out."

[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 3:11 PM. Reason : ^exactly, see someone else knows what's up.]

3/18/2007 3:10:54 PM

was this your first "real" job? sounds like it.

i think you'll learn as you get more experience that's how things go. everyone isn't going to be nice to you at work, and they're not always going to be completely honest about anything when you leave. or hell, even when you're still there.

i say chalk it up to experience, and next time don't quit and run away so easily.

Quote :

"Perhaps you don't get it. I don't want to be the one to have suffered. I want to even out the score. I don't like Judy especially and I want to ruin her life. Vindictive? Yes absolutely. Immature? Sure."

carrying this kind of attitude is absolutely ridiculous, and will never get you anywhere in life. not to mention it makes you no better than "judy" or your boss. you also risk bringing even more crap back on yourself if she finds out you're actively trying to sabotage her.

i was slightly sympathetic until i read that. you just need to grow up, get over it, and move on to the next thing. people lose their jobs every day for reasons they don't like, have to move on, and figure out how to get by.

btw, $1k a month in expsenses isn't that bad.

[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 3:19 PM. Reason : .]

3/18/2007 3:14:34 PM

call JAYYYYYYYYYYYY GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WENTWORTH TODAY!

3/18/2007 3:20:42 PM

Well, considering Judy cost him a lot of $$ (clients left because of her unprofessional behavior, employees left because she was mean to them), I would think that was sufficient enough evidence that he should fire her, and since he tryed to warn her many times. She had hung up on quite a few of our clients' clients which cost them business and got in trouble with that. I witnessed her do it again and again she just got a warning.

I've been lifeguarding and teaching swim lessons since I was 15. I took this job at 19-22 and it definitely is not a 'real' job. It's just answering phones and being a secretary. Lifeguarding and teaching was more professional and skills demanding.

3/18/2007 3:21:16 PM

ahahahaha this is like reading a thread from Kiwi or goiliegurl

hell i'll even throw her in the bag with TheTabbyCat


[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 3:23 PM. Reason : can't forget karencb82 and skeettreats!]

3/18/2007 3:21:43 PM

^ having problems with posting?

3/18/2007 3:24:32 PM

If she was a shitty employee and cost him clients then those would be grounds to fire her, but that's a separate issue from your little tiff with her. Look, I deal with crap like this all the time and 99% of the time it's two women. In 7 years of management I've had 2 cases of men bitching about each other. In both cases I was able to resolve it without any real difficulty. Any time it was two women it was just drama, drama, drama, and neither one wanted to admit fault and started bringing up totally unrelated shit. You have to understand that you have to deal with each incident by itself unless there are repeated compaints and only then can you look at it as a pattern of behavior.

3/18/2007 3:28:21 PM

i stopped after reading that your boss was your uncle, you didnt deserve the job to begin with...she is a bitch to you because she knows you didnt deserve it and you got it because of your uncle....you should resign and get a job based on your merits and not because your uncle gave it to you.

3/18/2007 3:36:22 PM

I stand by my previous advice, but I'm going to have to agree with the others as well. Talking about how you "want to even the score" doesn't exactly cast a positive light on you (didn't see that post before I posted myself ). And even though you obviously don't like "Judy," it's still unprofessional to just walk out on your job. You're suppose to announce your intention to resign at least a month in advance, although it really depends upon the policies of the place where you work.

And come to think if it (I'm ashamed I didn't think of it sooner. thx duro982), if you knew that your mother had problems with him in the past why did you decide to work for him?

Quote :

"It's damned hard to fire someone in today's world"

Ehe, it wasn't very hard for my former employer to get rid of me (though granted I'm a white male, not a black female). They basically said "we've canceled your contract, hand in all company-related property and don't bother coming back tomorrow."

[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 3:40 PM. Reason : blah]

3/18/2007 3:39:22 PM

you and your mother must be two of the weakest, most cowardly women i have heard of

3/18/2007 3:45:45 PM

Did you get severance pay, or was that not part of your contract? Sucks for you man.

Also, that sounds more like a layoff than a firing, which is a bit different.

3/18/2007 3:48:19 PM

sign up for unemployment

3/18/2007 3:49:04 PM

seriously, what you should have done was talking back to her, instead of letting her pushing you around. Then, your boss would have to choose between you and her, and according to what you said about her, I think it's a no-brainer.

3/18/2007 3:50:13 PM

Quitting doesn't give you grounds to file for unemployment. I mean, you can apply, but you'll be denied.

3/18/2007 3:51:21 PM

Well the thing is, they technically didn't fire me because I technically didn't work for them. I had a three month-long contract with them via a temp agency. But for whatever reason I just sucked at the job, and they (the company) informed me that they were pulling the plug on the contract shortly after just the second month. So I suppose that you're right and it's really not a firing so much as a laying-off. If there was a severance pay in my contract I sure didn't stick around long enough to qualify.

To add to my rant, my temp agency sure didn't seem interested in finding me other work after that (at least three months with no word at all from them), so I told them that I was no longer available. Naturally I let them know of my intention to leave well in advance, so it's not as if I just walked out.

[Edited on March 18, 2007 at 3:54 PM. Reason : blah]

3/18/2007 3:53:08 PM

I actually enjoy firing people, I'm like the designated firer at my job. I think it's because I don't develop ties with anyone or care about the folks I work with. Hell, I fired someone within a week of working at my new location.

3/18/2007 3:54:48 PM

$1000 a month bills........maybe a new career? stripper?

3/18/2007 3:55:37 PM

The best thing about this is if you reverse the races that are involved then suddently it becomes a "media event!"

Double standards for the loss.

3/18/2007 3:59:36 PM

You shouldn't have taken her shit like you did. Plain and simple.

You can't sue for harrassment, well you can, but you won't win in this state. If you wanted to get back at her, the right way would have been to keep working and make her life miserable at work.

But you walked out, she won, and here we are. Work isn't some happy place you go everyday. A lot of times you have to work with people you don't like, or even hate with a passion, that's just life.

3/18/2007 4:01:57 PM

set 'em up

3/18/2007 4:03:17 PM