Is it fair to tell a guy you aren't interested in continuing a relationship because he can't maintain an erection?

I mean, I think I look pretty good naked. I refuse to take this personally. I think it's a character flaw on his part.

Thoughts?

2/15/2007 4:42:57 PM

no no I can't be mean.



If it's that big of a deal (his performance) it's fair game... you don't want to be continually frustrated with him for the long haul.

[Edited on February 15, 2007 at 4:45 PM. Reason : .]

2/15/2007 4:44:41 PM

thats grounds to break up, but you should at least give him some other reason so as not to make him feel like a bitch

2/15/2007 4:46:54 PM

give him head

2/15/2007 4:46:55 PM

the test:

if he gets morning wood, it's you.

if not, its him.

2/15/2007 4:48:25 PM

Invite him to the UNC pit and tell him there.

2/15/2007 4:49:29 PM

id want to know personally if a chick had any problem with me sexually, not just ED

It sucks to have a girl unsatisfied or pissed about something sexually and she won't tell you. If you dont talk to someone about it - don't expect things to change.

and stop fucking 60 year old men

2/15/2007 4:52:53 PM

ya get viagra

2/15/2007 5:02:56 PM

i used to have this problem, turns out it was a side effect from some medicine i had to take and they adjusted the dosage and now now more problems

2/15/2007 5:04:36 PM

go see a doctor together for god's sakes.

either a medical doctor, or a psychologist, or a sexologist. whatever.

don't jump to decisions.

2/15/2007 5:08:23 PM

i'll do you if it will make you feel any better.

2/15/2007 5:13:38 PM

Quote :

"the test: if he gets morning wood, it's you. if not, its him. "

this is actually a very valid and scientific test, it lets you know that it is a mental problem and not a physical problem


you might not look as good to him naked as you though, or maybe, you are doing something you don't know that turns him off (you smell?)

your lack of self esteems says its his problem - come on, you are really scared it IS you arn't you?

a better approach would be to discuss it and tackle it as nobody's problem

2/15/2007 5:22:09 PM

I can not make a ruling on this matter without pics...

2/15/2007 5:58:16 PM

Pls. to post pics of the erection or lack thereof for ^

2/15/2007 6:17:57 PM

Quote :

"I mean, I think I look pretty good naked."

you should post pics and let us be the judge of that



is he on any meds or under a lot of stress? have you even talked with him about it?

2/15/2007 6:23:48 PM

Quote :

"if he gets morning wood, it's you. if not, its him."

Woah...That's pretty smart. I think there could be other psychological factors than just "it's you," but that is a pretty solid theory IMO.

[Edited on February 15, 2007 at 6:25 PM. Reason : s]

2/15/2007 6:25:01 PM

Its probably a result of some medication he's taking.


If he's not taking anything then he needs to stop smoking & drinking as much and start exercising as soon as possible.

Some herbal supplements might also help.


If that doesnt fix it he's gonna need a prescription

2/15/2007 6:25:28 PM

^^ its from sex and the city

whoever wrote that is just a homo who watches sex and the city.

2/15/2007 6:50:47 PM

Communication is key. If its a relationship you want to continue, talk with him and find out whats up. He may have something going on you don't know about that makes sex uninteresting. He may not have the same sexual drive as you. Etc. etc. Communicate.

2/15/2007 6:55:20 PM

^^ whoever wrote that is just a homo who watches sex and the city.


At least have an open conversation about the possible causes before making a decision.

[Edited on February 15, 2007 at 6:56 PM. Reason : .]

2/15/2007 6:56:25 PM

So the word on the street is that sparky has ED, true?

2/15/2007 7:09:05 PM

have you even discussed this with him? if not you should break up with him because if it's at this point and you haven't talked, he'd be better off

[Edited on February 15, 2007 at 7:26 PM. Reason : .]

2/15/2007 7:25:25 PM

Quote :

"its from sex and the city"

It's actually a standard medical question when working up ED as well.

2/15/2007 7:38:45 PM

Quote :

"Communication is key"

Precisely.


Unless you're just looking for another reason out of the relationship. Then dont even bother talking, just break it off.

2/15/2007 8:00:04 PM

it can be a mental thing if there's a lot of pressure to perform.

something tells me that since you're thinking about breaking up with him over it that could be the case.

Lighten up and laugh with him a little first, maybe some foreplay where you don't just get naked and say "ok time to do me."

P.S. guys have self-esteem issues too sometimes. If you take a thing like that too seriously you might just be making it worse.

[Edited on February 15, 2007 at 9:58 PM. Reason : ]

2/15/2007 9:52:59 PM

Quote :

"I mean, I think I look pretty good naked. I refuse to take this personally. I think it's a character flaw on his part."

character flaw? i'd call that a circulation flaw

2/16/2007 12:19:56 AM

youre too young to waste your life with some limp dick.

you'll have plenty of opportunites to deal with limp dicks when you're old.

drop his limp dick ass and go find someone worthy.

say "sorry, i like you and all but you just don't do it for me".

and move on.

2/16/2007 1:18:22 AM

cialis?

2/16/2007 1:32:45 AM

Quote :

"I mean, I think I look pretty good naked"

we are going to have to bring you in to validate this statement. does 6:30pm work for you today.

i know when i was talking wellbutrin to help me stop smoking i couldnt get hard to save my life
that shit sucked everybit of sexy from my soul
will not use again

[Edited on February 16, 2007 at 9:39 AM. Reason : sdf]

2/16/2007 9:39:39 AM

Quote :

"don't just get naked and say "ok time to do me.""

actually, that sounds like an awesome idea.

2/16/2007 9:58:29 AM

HAHAHA... "character flaw"

2/16/2007 9:59:11 AM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

THIS MADE MY FUCKING DAY.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[Edited on February 16, 2007 at 10:10 AM. Reason : BREAK]

2/16/2007 10:10:05 AM

I have had this problem in the past with a new girl.

I can't explain it. We want to fuck but its just weird. I guess the word is nervous or just uncomfortable.

I don't think it's fair to break up with him over 1 or 2 bad times. Give him time, he'll come around. Especially if your using condoms, that shit will take away the hardness in a heart beat, reguardless of how hot the chick is.

He is probably just as much aware of the situation as you are and he puts more and more aniexty on himself every time and making things worse. Don't call him out just yet, just give him some time to get comfortable with you.

2/16/2007 10:13:57 AM

HAHAHA....FUCK THAT!! dump his ass and get some real dick!!

2/16/2007 10:14:58 AM

Quote :

"it's not you, it's me."

2/16/2007 10:15:07 AM

atm = no more ed

2/16/2007 10:17:19 AM

I've known a couple guys who have to get to know a girl first....like date her a few weeks at least (or not be committed to someone else at the time )

But does he jerk off? How often? Any idea what material he uses to arouse himself?

2/16/2007 10:21:13 AM

dude...i still can't stop laughing!!

Lauren...baby...let me tell you honey it's not you. you look absolutely beautiful naked!! tell your new boy to lay off of the pot and the blow! then tell him to not to wack off for a few days. start out with some kissing and manual stimulation. if he still has problems then move on. it's not like you have a lot invested in this anyway...it hasn't even been two weeks.

ATUALLY I THINK I KNOW THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM.....HE WENT TO UNC...HAHAHA FAGS!

Quote :

"So the word on the street is that sparky has ED, true?"

just saw this...no lauren and i broke up just before labor day last year.

[Edited on February 16, 2007 at 10:49 AM. Reason : .]

2/16/2007 10:25:06 AM

at least nobody is bitter

2/16/2007 10:28:42 AM

Quote :

"HE WENT TO UNC"

well, i guess this thread can be closed now.

2/16/2007 10:29:02 AM

yeah i pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one

2/16/2007 10:40:15 AM

Damn, so much easier when we get background info like that.

Problem solved.

Dump the chump.

2/16/2007 12:03:11 PM

Well since he went to UNC... have you tried looking more masculine? Try getting a fake mustache or something.

2/16/2007 12:05:18 PM

^haha

you're with a homosexual, lauren.


tell katie i said hello

2/16/2007 12:24:05 PM

Quote :

"Communication is key. If its a relationship you want to continue, talk with him and find out whats up. He may have something going on you don't know about that makes sex uninteresting. He may not have the same sexual drive as you. Etc. etc. Communicate. "

I agree. It's also pretty fucking shallow to drop a guy because he doesn't get a hardon for you. Maybe it IS you. Why don't you talk and find out? I'm sure he's aware of the problem and like someone else said, is having an anxiety attack everytime and compounding the problem.

2/16/2007 12:35:18 PM

All kinds of things can cause temporary ED. Things most likely for 20-something year olds are:

-Caffeine (too much caffeine in the long run can cause problems getting and maintaining an erection)
-Medication
-Penile trauma (like folding the penis 180 degrees the wrong way when its erect--happened to me once and i couldn't get it up again for over a week)
-Stress
-Performance anxiety


If you care about him at all, tell him that you have a problem with it and give him a chance to go see a doctor.

2/16/2007 12:37:26 PM

don't forget liquor dick

2/16/2007 12:43:20 PM

and all this time i thought tarheel was another word for faggot

2/16/2007 1:48:04 PM

heh brewer's droop

2/16/2007 2:12:44 PM

Quote :

"If you care about him at all, tell him that you have a problem with it and give him a chance to go see a doctor."

I'd say this is the most mature way to go.

2/16/2007 2:13:38 PM