Usually when I want to hang out with a girl, the first thing I think of is lets go get a drink and go from there. It's not cause I'm trying to get her drunk and therefore get in her pants easier. Granted it might be something that comes of it later, but that's certainly not my primary intention. It's not even that I want to get drunk, I just like the atmosphere to talk in. Maybe it's because I've worked in a restaurant for so long it only seems natural to me. But say you meet a girl at class or whatever that says she doesn't drink, where do you like to go to get to know her better? Going to a movie, going to the park, going bowling, I dunno, that all seems too much like an actual date, when in fact I'm not trying to go out on a date I just want to hang out one-on-one. (Perhaps I'm too caught up in the title of a date per-se?) Or does the fact that it's one-on-one automatically imply that the outing willl be a date. There is always just going out for dinner, but then is it bad to have a beer or cocktail or two (but two at most) at dinner while she sips on a soda? After all, I'm not trying to look like a lush to a girl that I don't really know. Input from both sides is welcome, remember it's the lounge

8/4/2006 5:38:52 PM

coffee instead of alcohol.

Isn't that obvious?

8/4/2006 5:40:20 PM

I could care less whether a girl drank or not so long as she doens't have a problem with my love of beer

8/4/2006 5:41:08 PM

^^what she said

[Edited on August 4, 2006 at 5:41 PM. Reason : slow]

8/4/2006 5:41:27 PM

coffee ftw!

8/4/2006 5:42:02 PM

Coffee, Tea, Smoothies ... take your pick if you are looking for near campus. If you are elsewhere, tell us what is available.

8/4/2006 5:43:20 PM

yeah coffee shops aren't gonna do it for me, I hate the stuff

screw coffee, gimme a damn newcastle or rum & coke

I'm in brazil right now but this advice isn't for situations here, it would apply to being back in Raleigh

[Edited on August 4, 2006 at 5:46 PM. Reason : ^]

8/4/2006 5:44:49 PM

Lunch or coffee or even just walking around a bit after class/work/whatever.

There's no social convention that you have to go to a bar or drink at a resteraunt to have a good time.

However, if you really want to get a girl to drink along with you then what you need to do is order her a specialty cocktail to at least try it out. If she steadfastly refuses, its game over. Never date anyone that won't try something at least once

8/4/2006 5:47:33 PM

Do you know for sure that she doesn't drink?

Take her to cafe cyclo, they offer drink drinks and coffee and you can let her choose first, so you can choose accordingly It's actually a pretty nice place to just sit and chill.

8/4/2006 5:47:40 PM

Quote :

" Never date anyone that won't try something at least once "

8/4/2006 5:52:03 PM

maybe you could go out somewhere and NOT drink...then over dinner or wherever you take her, maybe casually mention that you like to have a drink or two with dinner or after work. See how she responds. If she has a big issue with it, then don't see her anymore. At least then she will know that you drink and all and you may even find out more about her than you would have in the first place.

8/4/2006 5:58:21 PM

Quote :

"yeah coffee shops aren't gonna do it for me, I hate the stuff"

The copout used by folks who can't bother to remember that coffeehouses also serve a social function. Think about it...they know not everyone drinks coffee!

Quote :

"Never date anyone that won't try something at least once"

Agreed. I'm curious to hear her reason for not drinking.

8/4/2006 5:59:01 PM

^^^^Just because a girl doesn't drink doesn't mean she hasn't before. A guy should respect her choice not to drink, and if he doesn't then she should drop him. However, she should also respect his choice to TO drink. It goes both ways. And I think if you really felt like getting to know a girl then you could stand to not have a beer and go to a place that would make her comfortable. Don't be selfish in a relationship you don't even have yet.

[Edited on August 4, 2006 at 6:02 PM. Reason : j]

8/4/2006 6:01:51 PM

Don't be selfish to what? If she has a good, solid, reason then thats a gametime decision to be made but if she's all "sigh, drinking is bad!" then his only response should be "whoa, didn't know they still made your kind, sorry chika! Later." It'll save him a headache.

8/4/2006 6:05:47 PM

Quote :

"Never date anyone that won't try something at least once"

does this go for chicks that will not try marijuana, even once?

8/4/2006 6:07:09 PM

^^Yes, but he doesn't even KNOW her yet. Maybe if he got to know her then its something they could both look past if they wanted to be friends.

[Edited on August 4, 2006 at 6:08 PM. Reason : j]

8/4/2006 6:07:58 PM

Quote :

"^^Yes, but he doesn't even KNOW her yet. Maybe if he got to know her then its something they could both look past if they wanted to be friends."

her reasons for not drinking alcohol can speak volumes.
and who said anything about being friends if dating doesn't work out?

8/4/2006 6:11:08 PM

My post pretty much covers all the bases.

8/4/2006 6:12:02 PM

Quote :

"Never date anyone that won't try something at least once"

like AIDS, heroin, homosexual orgies, rufies, sex with a 6-year-old, etc...right?

your statement is retarded...just because some people have standards doesn't mean they're not worth dating, just that they have self-esteem and that they don't feel the need to impress you

8/4/2006 6:20:32 PM

Quote :

" like AIDS, heroin, homosexual orgies, rufies, sex with a 6-year-old, etc...right?"

I think there was an implied 'within reason' at the end of that

[Edited on August 4, 2006 at 6:23 PM. Reason : lkj]

8/4/2006 6:23:02 PM

^^thank you

[Edited on August 4, 2006 at 6:23 PM. Reason : j]

8/4/2006 6:23:26 PM

i may have missed it, but did someone say the girl had never TRIED alcohol? just that she doesn't drink...anyone who can't get past that BEFORE they even go out on a date doesn't have any right to judge them for their decision...you know nothing about their history or their reasons for choosing to do what they're doing

^

[Edited on August 4, 2006 at 6:25 PM. Reason : .]

8/4/2006 6:25:30 PM

My statement is not retarded, it is in fact, indisputable.

For instance, if you're into being a total wretched douchebag that likes to play devils advocate on internet message boards relying on extreme cases completely irrelevent to the original poster in a feeble attempt to undermine a post that orbits your entire plane of existence...

...then perhaps you'd want to find someone thats been there too... no?

8/4/2006 6:27:40 PM

I honestly can say that a girl not drinking would be a deal breaker for me

8/4/2006 6:34:14 PM

if you are drinking and she's not, limit yourself to ONE alcoholic beverage, and I recommend alternating water and alcohol that way you look like you're just enjoying the drink not trying to get buzzed ... although if she refuses to drink a free drink (assuming it's safe) and is old enough she's probably got some baggage/ bad past experiences/ crazy religion

8/4/2006 6:37:45 PM

Quote :

"Coffee, Tea, Smoothies"

8/4/2006 6:38:03 PM

^^^^ oh! i didn't realize that your opinion represented every person that ever lived! and here i was, thinking that your opinion was simply that, an opinion, and that your lack of standards and harsh judgement without knowing the facts behind her decisions made YOU the douchenozzle!

8/4/2006 6:40:51 PM

haha..douchenozzel...heh heh

8/4/2006 6:44:54 PM

Quote :

"I honestly can say that a girl not drinking would be a deal breaker for me"

8/4/2006 7:23:42 PM

why bother?

you might as well hang out with a virgin

8/4/2006 7:31:59 PM

I don't drink...don't look down on me

8/4/2006 7:36:27 PM

^ha

i quit drinkin long ago, and i still get weird stares when i go to parties


even this thread clearly shows that we non-drinkers are fucking freaks

8/4/2006 7:40:12 PM

The point is flying so far above both of your heads that I honestly don't think AWACS could track it.

The very fact that this girl would be below my standards invalidates your argument. I'm not going to give her a character backstory on why she doesn't drink nor do I care. Based on that argument, she's boring.

End of thread.

8/4/2006 7:41:16 PM

^ i get it now! even YOU'RE not sure how to defend yourself...it was a good try, though

8/4/2006 7:42:41 PM

Quote :

"yeah coffee shops aren't gonna do it for me, I hate the stuff"

If you can find a single coffee shop in Raleigh that only sells coffee, I will be shocked.

8/4/2006 7:46:35 PM

i like coffee and all, but hanging out in coffee houses is fucking lame

people are usually on their laptops on myspace OR they have nerdy pretentious conversations which you can hear from across the room

it's like a winebar but worse since you can't get drunk and the people are uglier

8/4/2006 7:54:17 PM

actually I got drunk last night and I'm about to head out to East Village tonight for someone's birthday....but ideally, I don't like drinking

peer pressure

8/4/2006 7:59:44 PM

I have to admit that I didn't read much past the first few posts...I think that ultimately, hanging out is worthless. If she does not drink, and does not like the bar scene, and you really enjoy it...what's the point? Too many differences for anything significant anyway.

8/4/2006 8:14:58 PM

^ you didn't miss much...some people think that not drinking makes you not worth knowing, and others think that it's stupid to equate willingness to drink with how worthy the person is of their time

8/4/2006 8:19:29 PM

Quote :

"coffee instead of alcohol. "

i dunno
whenever a guy says we should get coffee sometime it just makes me think he's some emo/indie jerk off who wants to talk about feelings and poetry and whatever kerouac book he just finished/started..... and i'm usually right

8/4/2006 8:38:27 PM

yeah, fuck coffee

8/4/2006 8:42:31 PM

PLUS
a cup or two of coffee can turn you into a more annoying person than can a cocktail or two

8/4/2006 8:45:40 PM

Then how about lunch? It isn't nearly as "meaningful" as dinner.

8/4/2006 8:45:53 PM

lunch is good as long as it's somewhere like bojangles and not a too nice place

8/4/2006 8:47:21 PM

I would kill to find a girl to go out with that doesn't drink but ISN'T:

1. The size of the Titanic. I mean I'm only the size of, say, a Sherman Tank.
2. Ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road. Personality is a HUGE part of the equation, but, hey, I ain't gonna lie. Looks count too.
3. A religious zealot. Sounds like another would-be alcoholic that's picked just another vice to hold onto.
4. A huge pothead. Lucidity is the goal here. Not alternative ways to reach the same buzz goal.
5. Dumb as a rock. 'nuff said on that one. Of course, the dumb ones are usually the ones that drink like a fish.

8/4/2006 8:48:23 PM

define "huge pothead"

8/4/2006 8:49:14 PM

^^ ain't that the truth

[Edited on August 4, 2006 at 8:54 PM. Reason : dammit, i didn't see her post ]

8/4/2006 8:50:08 PM

I should have just said "pothead"...I don't really groove on altered states. If you like it, that's your choice. It's just not mine, and I don't really like hanging out with folks that are baked.

I'm a total lucidity junkie, I guess...

8/4/2006 8:51:39 PM

boooooooooooring



just kiddin man, that's cool

8/4/2006 8:53:38 PM

8/4/2006 8:54:52 PM