Wayfron P. Jackson: 6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect

from Texas in the last ten years. Loves rap music. Will demand a

mini cassette in his helmet. Currently holds world record for the

most "you knows " during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfron

can print his complete name.



Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6' 3", 220 lbs..Running Back. Set state

scoring record out of Triton High School, Dunn, N.C. Also led the

state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked

at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm.



Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell! : 6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From

Tyler, Texas. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams

very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the

school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church

preference as "red brick."



Woodrow Lee Washington: 6' 8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From a 4th

generation welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children.

Mother claims Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. He has a

manslaughter trial pending but feels he will be found innocent

because: "The dude said something bad 'bout my Momma." On his

entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20.



Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an

Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks

the "N" on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge," but still met

NC State's school's stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing

number 32 jersey since it matches his score on his College Entrance

Exam.



Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a

pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his

other 9 victims will file charges. Tyrone had already signed letters

of intent with six other colleges but was also willing to sign with

us. Likes wild women and red Cadillacs. Thinks Taco Bell is the

Mexican Telephone Company!



Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school

ball under the name Sylvester LeRoy Jones until he discovered

religion. Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in

Raleigh. Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear." (Doesn't

know the meaning of many other words, either.)



Note: Several of the above signees will also compete in track.

However, instead of using a starting gun at track meets, it has now

been agreed to use a burglar alarm....this, it is hoped will keep

the runners alert.

5/18/2006 8:12:09 PM

an oldie but a goodie

5/18/2006 8:13:45 PM

hahahahahha

this took me a minute

YOU KNOW

5/18/2006 8:13:50 PM

lol

5/18/2006 8:51:05 PM

not at all formulaic or repetitive

5/19/2006 11:28:31 AM

im not racist at allllllllllll

5/19/2006 12:18:25 PM