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 Message Boards » » Gift or no gift? Page [1]  
LadyWolff
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Quandry folks, i'm feeling both bitchy, but also a little miffed.

I have an apartment mate, who I consider a friend. However, I give her rides becuase she doesnt have a car, cut her a deal on rent, i've covered rent for her when she didnt have a job a long time ago (actually how she came to move in with me). But after 3 years she hasn't really dug herself out of her problems, and I feel like me and her other friends have been more than accomodating and helpful in trying to understand and help her along the way.

She owes my folks a fair sum of money, and lately all I hear out of her is whine about this whine about this. She whines when someone cant give her a ride, and whines more if I dont pick up the slack.

Her boyfriend (thank GOD more financially responsible, seriously so), is moving in, and i'm getting to the opinion of if the two of them want to constantly ignore me (which they do now since they hooked up) becuase they're a couple, what the hell am I but a ride/soccer mom?

In short, I dont feel like getting her a gift even though she's supposedly my friend. Then again, she has yet to get me so much as a card for christmas or birthday in the nearly 3 years we've lived together.


However, if i dont give her one at the group gift exchange, she's going to have a hissy.
Too much drama for me.

Thoughts? I technically already bought her a decently nice gift, but it's completely returnable and I'm thinking about spending the money on myself or someone else.

12/16/2005 12:56:04 PM

NCSUWolfy
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go buy her a $5 scarf from target and call it a day

12/16/2005 1:00:58 PM

Wraith
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You should never buy someone a gift because you feel obligated to do so. Only do it if you want to do it.

12/16/2005 1:17:05 PM

SCSTL
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I'd tell her that her gift was everything I've put up with the past few years. You've wasted enough money on her.

12/16/2005 1:18:17 PM

StingrayRush
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yeah, screw her

12/16/2005 1:18:58 PM

TennisAngel
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Yeah, take the gift back and spend the money on yourself or towards a gift for someone you want to give to.

12/16/2005 1:25:01 PM

drtaylor
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no gift. if anything serve her with a small claims suit and kick her out.

and why did you let the boyfriend move in?

12/16/2005 1:27:32 PM

NCSUAli
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Quote :
"I'd tell her that her gift was everything I've put up with the past few years. You've wasted enough money on her.

"


My thoughts exactly. If she doesn't consider all that you've done for her a gift in itself (granted, she should pay back the money, but the fact that you're willing to loan and go out of your way for her merits a gift), time for her to get out and get a place with the financially-responsible boyfriend.

[Edited on December 16, 2005 at 1:37 PM. Reason : .]

12/16/2005 1:36:32 PM

Dammit100
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Quote :
"yeah, screw her"

12/16/2005 1:47:34 PM

NCSUWolfy
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to say screw her and give her no gift is an easy solution and probably one she deserves

but to me, $5 is worth saving the drama (ladywolff says she'd throw a hissy at the gift exchange)

plus, sounds like she owes your folks a good amount of money--- work on getting that cleared so you don't have to deal with her shit anymore

no need to cause extra drama by skipping out on the gift even though she prob won't give you one and has only been taking advantage of you-- resolve the money situation and GTFO

12/16/2005 1:50:46 PM

ultra
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5191 Posts
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no one deserves anything bad. What the hell is wrong with you people?

12/16/2005 2:31:24 PM

SouthPaW12
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^ Yeah...I agree. Think it through, maybe a $5 scarf will change her attitude towards you or at least make her feel guilty and she'll re-evaluate stuff.

Who knows...it's worth $5. I guess don't stoop to her level...the grudge she could hold for all of next year could possibly be solved w/ a cheap scarf or something.

12/16/2005 2:38:36 PM

NCSUWolfy
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exactly

12/16/2005 2:43:58 PM

mdbncsu
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listen to NCSUWolfy

/end thread

^ gg on 6,000 btw

[Edited on December 16, 2005 at 3:03 PM. Reason : #]

12/16/2005 3:02:12 PM

ambrosia1231
eeeeeeeeeevil
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$1.50 gloves.
tell her they'll work well on her next hike up to the bus stop.

"look, you're my bud and all, but your sense of entitlement is getting out of hand. when you start paying my folks back, i'll start giving you more rides"
dunno what/where you're giving her rides for, but i'd cut out everything you do for her that is not work or school related.

avoiding drama at the gift exchange is a good idea. and really, some generic, cheap, useful item isn't really a gift as much as it's a present.

12/16/2005 3:26:34 PM

ultra
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That's just mean and annoying.

12/16/2005 3:29:15 PM

StarGazer19
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Quote :
"to say screw her and give her no gift is an easy solution and probably one she deserves

but to me, $5 is worth saving the drama (ladywolff says she'd throw a hissy at the gift exchange)

plus, sounds like she owes your folks a good amount of money--- work on getting that cleared so you don't have to deal with her shit anymore

no need to cause extra drama by skipping out on the gift even though she prob won't give you one and has only been taking advantage of you-- resolve the money situation and GTFO"

12/16/2005 3:47:26 PM

LadyWolff
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I'm trying not to be mean but the suggestions of a smaller gift are definately worth thinking on.

Oh- as for why is the boyfriend moving in? He's someone i know to be financially responsible, and our other apartment mate is moving out. He wasn't a boyfriend when this was agreed upon, so, other than feeling like a third wheel, i dont really object.

He's paying 1/3 of the bills and rent and basically taking over the other apartment mate's share, not just moving in.

I'm not really complaining about that.

12/16/2005 8:59:42 PM

renegadegirl
All American
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The Dolla' Store can solve all your problems...

Or one of the 25 cent slot gift machines in the grocery store...

12/16/2005 9:26:43 PM

firmbuttgntl
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11931 Posts
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Unless you plan to fuck her boyfriend, get her a gift, and keep the bills payed.

12/16/2005 9:55:15 PM

ComputerGuy
(IN)Sensitive
5052 Posts
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fuck the bf and take pictures and make up the moiney she owes you!!

FUCK YEA

12/16/2005 9:59:32 PM

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