(Just in case the home page doesn't post)

"The only thing to do with advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." ~Oscar Wilde

Do you have a problem and you need some advice? Ask Isis! No matter what your situation is, there is always someone who can relate. Share your story in Technician's Dear Abby column-Ask Isis. Please create a secret pen name (ex-Lonely in North Hall) so all names remain anonymous. Send your submissions to Isis @ Idsmith@ncsu.edu, or P.O. Box 1695 2730 Wolf Village Way. Thanks!

*Also accepting submissions from the Soap Box, the Lounge, and the Feedback Forum...remember to pass it on and look for your story in the daily Technician

10/7/2005 8:07:43 PM

The advice column will appear in the Arts and Entertainment section of the Technician. This column is for entertainment, it is also designed to help the person who submits a story and thoese who share their same issue. The column will be in the same format as Dear Abby (form of a letter). Because this column is an addition, the student body who reads the Technician is not aware of it's coming. Therefore, the wolf web members are the first to have an opportunity to have their issue addressed and shared in the Technicain. I am Isis, and as the writer I will not limit the topics I answer. It does not matter what your question is, if you have a problem, I have an answer, and I will answer your question honestly and promptly. I will make any member of the wolf web aware if their story is to appear in the Technician. For now, I will answer any submission sent but as the column grows with awareness and submissions, the editor of Arts and Entertainment will help me decide which submissions are selected for the Technician. Even if your submission is not selected in the future for publication. I will try my best to reply to all submissions sent through this forum. Thanks!

10/7/2005 8:09:08 PM

10/7/2005 8:15:00 PM

Dear Isis,

What the fuck kinda gay shit name is "Isis"?



Sincerely,

Confused about your sexuality

10/7/2005 8:33:42 PM

maybe she's an egyptian god

10/7/2005 8:34:51 PM

then maybe she should magic me up some cheese-steaks

10/7/2005 8:35:23 PM

Dear Isus,

Im having trouble meeting someone. Normally I would just find a random person but I am getting fed up with humanity and I am trying to find someone that I can create new life with. I really enjoy sex but many potential partners are put off by some of my morbid pleasures. I think that you might be the goddess I am looking for. What are you doing for dinner Friday night?

Sincerely,

Osiris

10/7/2005 8:40:59 PM

p.s.
i'm a cat person

10/7/2005 9:07:32 PM

Quote :

"Because this column is an addition, the student body who reads the Technician is not aware of it's coming."

Dear Isis,
I have two problems. The first is that my there's this new advice columnist starting at my school, but, though she proposes to write for the campus newspaper, she does not know the difference between possessive "its" and contractive "it's." I am very worried that she will dumb down the already abominable standards set by the Technician's View and such lame-ass columnists as X, Y, Z, Q, and others. What can I do to prevent this person from writing an advice column?
My second problem is more complicated. Yesterday, out of boredom, I shaved all my pubes off, and now I have horrible whiteheads covering the skin above my weiner. It came so unexpectedly, and I can't pop them because it hurts too much. Do you know a good cure for pubic acne?
I know I said I only have two problems, but let me once more make use of thy bottomless well of wisdom, O Isis. My hair is on fire. Any suggestions? Please reply at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
Concerned Pubic-Acne-Ridden Guy

[Edited on October 8, 2005 at 2:15 AM. Reason : don't want to name names]

10/8/2005 2:11:29 AM

^^^

</thread>

10/8/2005 10:41:00 AM

Hey, Isis, I'm sorry to have been rude. but if you're going to write a regular column for the Technician, you ought ot watch the little things like that. But I am most sorry.

10/8/2005 7:24:32 PM

Dear Isis,
My problem is that the newspaper at our school sucks ass. I don't really care about anything but the crossword they put in, but they manage to fuck that up too. Any suggestions?
Thanks,
FUCK YOU TECHNICIAN

10/8/2005 8:43:46 PM

^^^ not only that, but her major is english. she should be able to get that shit right.

10/8/2005 11:06:25 PM

Dear Isis and every other Technician writer/reporter/editor,

Even I, as a former Technician columnist, have noticed the lackluster editing capabilities of those in charge. I know we're not a journalism school, but I thought grammar was taught somewhere between elementary school and high school (called middle school).

I know English is difficult to learn, but the rules aren't too hard when you practice. Go home and diagram sentences and label the subjects, predicates, nouns, verbs, and objects. Until you can get that down, just post one gigantic crossword puzzle and make sure it's current (also notice that I used the contraction it's and not the possessive its in that last sentence).

Sincerely,

Would-rather-shoot-myself-in-the-face-than-read-Technician's-View

And speaking of Technician's View, what kind of title is "TVS is pretty frickin' cool?" That just seems... so... elementary and... what's the word I'm looking for? RETARDED. Is this the Technician Staff?



[Edited on October 8, 2005 at 11:19 PM. Reason : image]

10/8/2005 11:15:54 PM

Dear Isis,

there is an easy solution to the issues you and the students in this thread have: the elimination of the technician. the tech made me appreciate real newspapers like the NY Times. thnx

10/9/2005 1:47:38 AM

Quote :

"I am very worried that she will dumb down the already abominable standards set by the Technician's View and such lame-ass columnists as X, Y, Z, Q"

Ever since they hired this lame-ass columnist, I honestly have trouble believing that the standards could be lowered any further.

Though I must admit, I can't recall any terrible grammar mistakes on my part of late. If I missed one, let me know.

10/9/2005 5:48:33 AM

GrumpyGOP: Not to diminish your writing abilities, but not having made a "grammar mistake" might be nothing other than sheer luck. Some of the editors at the Technician are horrible. Almost every column I've ever submitted was slaughtered by an editor. Instead of bringing something positive to my columns, they regularly introduce a host of grammatical errors and delete important sentences/words. It's a shame, but it's what we got.

10/9/2005 7:59:32 AM

Happened to me too in my year and a half. Sentence structures would be switched around and the context would be modified to make the sentence mean something completely different than it was supposed to.

I think Beaker (in the above picture) must be editing nowadays.

10/9/2005 12:11:09 PM

The technician editors killed my father and raped my mother

10/9/2005 12:15:04 PM

^^^ I've also had grammatical mistakes inserted into articles by technician editors. I even had one article changed around so that it was factually incorrect. These are news articles I'm talking about too.

10/9/2005 2:04:48 PM

wait, she made this same post in multiple sections

[terminate]

10/9/2005 2:05:30 PM

They used to butcher my columns all the time, but lately they've gone easy on the editing. I find that when I've written a truly good style, they don't mess with it; but if it's merely all right, if there's room for editing, you may trust them to weaken rather than improve. I also find that the technicianonline version (which Jason edits but few others, if anyone) is usually truer to the original and better. So Jason's editing is solid. The rest you have no control over. To give props I've been pretty satisfied with editing this year. Btw no one who has posted to this thread is named X,Y,Z, Q or other

10/10/2005 10:10:12 PM