(Tech Talk pundits: This belongs here instead of Chit Chat, I promise.)The first week you're here--nay, the first DAY--you will probably make the acquaintance of an attractive young woman who is a freshman living on campus like yourself. This young woman will display an interest in your technological pursuits that is inconsistent with your heretofore limited experience with other females, and this will encourage you, but I warn you that the only reason she wants anything to do with you is because she needs someone to help set up her computer and get it on the network (with maybe a couple of pointers on how to find and download music). I fear for your little hearts, but forewarned is forearmed.[Edited on July 25, 2003 at 2:50 PM. Reason : God bless.]
7/25/2003 2:47:52 PM
i wish i had known that ahead of time
7/25/2003 2:48:36 PM
THE TRICK IS TO GET THE POONTANG IN ADVANCE OF THE CONSULTINGconsider it a security deposityou heard it here first
7/25/2003 2:50:02 PM
i almost got ass that way when i was a freshman.
7/25/2003 2:50:42 PM
Correct. I don't know how many times I've gone to a girls dorm room to fix her computer, which is the only time she ever would come to my room to talk to me. Stupid idiot girls. Their computers would have kazaa (with all the spyware installed), stupid crap like weatherbug, and other idiot spyware installing crap like gator.
7/25/2003 2:52:21 PM
I got suckered into the whole tech support thing for like 10 minutes before I got bored and was like, "yo fix it your own damn self" and then they never visited me anymore.
7/25/2003 3:18:21 PM
pwnt in advance gg frosh
7/25/2003 3:22:05 PM
Her: Do you know how to fix computers?You: I don't know, do you give blow jobs?Her answer to the second question, should be the same as yours to the first question.
7/25/2003 3:28:12 PM
Yes I have more advice, if a guy wants you to help you with computer work, payment must be in beer, one can for each 15 min, for a girl payment must be in blowjobs, using the same pricing system, unless she's ugly, if so see the payment plan for guys
7/25/2003 3:33:06 PM
stupid girls should learn to do it themselves.
7/25/2003 3:39:35 PM
^^ here here.
7/25/2003 3:41:59 PM
7/25/2003 3:48:34 PM
i did this and then turned down the ass that was thrown at me... boy was i stupid.
7/25/2003 3:57:47 PM
was?
7/25/2003 3:58:14 PM
thinking back, it was sophomore year i turned DOWN the ass... freshman year i actually did get ass in this way. i feel a little better now.
7/25/2003 3:58:30 PM
WILL HLP 4 SAIX[Edited on July 25, 2003 at 4:03 PM. Reason : - ]
7/25/2003 4:03:31 PM
Another option: You could try being a nice guy and if nothing else, try being honest with her if you are one of those "classic" nerds out there..."I'm not that good with girls, you mind talking to me/helping me out while I'm fixing your computer?" sex0r one time with one girl is hardly payment...sex0r with a girlfriend (multiple times AND the fact its a relationship) is good payment...
7/25/2003 9:31:14 PM
Or you could do like my roomate, find a chicks computer with shared folders on the network, and leave a message on her desktop telling her she needs to unshare all her folders and telling her what room your in. Problem is, when she actually shows up, you remember that you are incapable of speaking to girls
7/25/2003 11:43:08 PM
Yea, i helped a chick with C++ freshman year. Had no intentions whatsoever of 'trying' anything with her. Ended up sucking on her tiggle bitties after we got bored with loops. Unplanned hookage is even more fun than planned I think.
7/26/2003 12:39:59 AM
^^Then play UNO with her.
7/26/2003 1:14:47 AM
you need to find a chicks computer and print various shit off on her printer then leave a file on the computer telling her you've been hacked.....oh wait, leave that one up to Shaggy
7/26/2003 1:43:28 AM
GG frosh
7/26/2003 4:44:18 AM
7/26/2003 4:45:10 AM
Porcha, I did that about 20 times when I lived in Wood, thx.
7/26/2003 12:04:02 PM
^OH NO H4X0R ON TEH LOOSE
7/26/2003 2:54:07 PM
ResNet consultants more busy during move-in than in the rest of the year, but they are around. Feel free to request assistance in getting connected by calling 513-RNET or contacting us in person.Also, please let anyone who needs assistance that you are unable/unwilling to help know how to contact us.-bigginal[Edited on July 26, 2003 at 6:17 PM. Reason : http://www.ncsu.edu/resnet][Edited on July 26, 2003 at 6:19 PM. Reason : more]
7/26/2003 6:17:42 PM
I'm no hax0r, ass, I just thought it was FUNNY to print pr0n pics out on other people's printers.
7/27/2003 12:44:53 AM
i can't even count the number of times i got csc or engineering guys to fix my computer. but i can count the number of times i repayed them with poontang: 0
7/28/2003 11:15:05 AM
good advice, if you find yourself in this position it's not too late. You might be able to save it, although with your "heretofore limited experience with other females" you might not posses the skills required
8/17/2003 9:57:16 PM
Yea you don't want to be this guy.Sadly that is the way I making ends meet right now though.
8/17/2003 11:23:52 PM
^ that guy is not funny, has never been funny, and will never be funny. I hope he dies a horrible death along with snl.
8/18/2003 12:16:55 AM
the trick is to sabotage her machine, so she'll keep coming back to you for more help-- but not in such a way that it looks like you don't know what you're doing (and never fix the problem).or you could lead her on, and make her think you'll fix her computer when you get around to it.the key (as it usually is) is not being eager-to-please.
8/18/2003 1:30:14 AM
bttt
10/5/2003 2:08:34 PM
werd
10/5/2003 2:14:41 PM
i once helped a girl fix a problem with her computerand then we were dating like 3 weeks laterwe broke up eventually but alls i gots to say isI'M A PLAYA EXTREME
10/5/2003 9:38:01 PM
^echo[Edited on October 5, 2003 at 10:25 PM. Reason : .]
10/5/2003 10:25:29 PM
damngood mani've been meaning to pm you about this[Edited on August 12, 2004 at 1:02 PM. Reason : Post #32,000.]
8/12/2004 1:01:56 PM
back up in that ass
8/15/2004 4:15:12 PM
Just don't be like "I'm port scanning j00" when you have your hand down her pants fellas.--coolpoints;
8/15/2004 5:11:28 PM
-snicker-
8/15/2004 5:24:44 PM
i am my company's computer guyif i wasn't attached, i could get ass in this manner
8/15/2004 5:58:03 PM
8/15/2004 6:41:42 PM
Best advice you've ever given, huh?
8/15/2004 6:54:29 PM
haha, oh, i meant to say that "...i have ever seen..."sorry.
8/15/2004 6:55:33 PM
lolers
8/15/2004 7:41:52 PM
i actually got alotta attention (the good kind) from females when i was "the computer guy" coming into college. lucky me.
8/15/2004 7:43:37 PM
when you stop being a "computer guy" you'll realize that getting attention from fickle whores isn't needed nor wanted.More trouble than they're worth.[Edited on August 15, 2004 at 8:57 PM. Reason : .]
8/15/2004 8:56:45 PM
ykhwd
8/10/2005 12:00:49 PM
ah yes...
8/10/2005 12:03:39 PM
8/10/2005 12:03:50 PM