How does one deal with an overwhelmingly huge invite list?

I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

6/27/2012 1:17:07 AM

How big is your invite list? Ours is around 225.

6/27/2012 8:16:50 AM

^^ since i feel like we were in similar situations, please feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

we had to send out a much larger number of invitations than what we planned to invite and it is very overwhelming because you run the risk of, "well what if ALL these people decide they really want to come?" we had estimated a large number of folks that we were pretty sure were going to decline and most did, but then we also had some decide LAST WEEK that they wanted to come. yeah that was fun.

6/27/2012 8:21:07 AM

I wanted to invite 50, but that went out the window when my fiance's mother's list ALONE was 70 people. I freaked, cried, got over it, changed the plans to small intimate ceremony, giant party reception and rolled with it. Our guest list is over 150 people now.

6/27/2012 8:34:30 AM

my FMIL sent us a list of 200 names from her side of the family alone. we only wanted to have 100 total

6/27/2012 8:55:16 AM

Holy shit

Yeah we put a stop to all that real quick in our wedding plans. We basically said, "These are the people we are inviting. If you want to add to this list, you need to pay for those people because we don't have the money." I guess it's good neither side wanted to cough up the money for more guests

6/27/2012 9:13:16 AM

Just realized that my post was in no way helpful to your situation.

Good luck. I'm sure it's sooo frustrating to deal with that. Just think about the light at the end of the tunnel, when the planning will be behind you and you can enjoy your day.

[Edited on June 27, 2012 at 9:55 AM. Reason : ]

6/27/2012 9:29:05 AM

Cass I have to message you. I really need someone to vent to so I can keep my sanity.

6/27/2012 9:50:32 AM

We used an excel spreadsheet and word to do a mail merge for the labels. Let me know if you need some expertise on that.

6/28/2012 8:03:30 PM

All this mess makes me wanna throw a VIP (very important party) on a boat... Those who show up witness the wedding, those who don't... well... At least I wouldn't have to go thru the cousin's parents being offended portion of the evening.
Geez!

6/28/2012 10:31:34 PM

I think Eric's mom sent us a list of I would say at least 150 people... We invited a little over 350 thank God only 193 came! (We knew quite a bit of those though were very low chances... But I, too, had the similar freak out)

6/29/2012 12:04:36 AM

holy crap! y'all got a lot of family and friends - we had about 45 people at our wedding

6/29/2012 7:43:35 AM

Yeah my side of the family alone of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins is 45 people

We invited near 200 (I think? It's all fuzzy now) and 120 showed. Venue only held 112 seating so inviting 200 was stresssssssssful. And boy did i piss off some outlier friends and some family not inviting them. Wedding politics. Luckily I didn't give a shit.

6/29/2012 7:57:17 AM

Quote :

"Luckily I didn't give a shit."

And that's the trick to a successful wedding My side of the family is something like triple his side, but a lot of them I've never talked to or never met. Why the heck would I invite them to my wedding? One or two of those people got butthurt about not getting an invite and my dad told them, "Well you've never even sent her a Christmas card in 29 years. What do you expect?"

The funniest thing was this one random ass chick I went to high school with getting super butthurt about not getting an invite. I barely remember her from high school and we haven't talked since graduation. The only reason she found out about the wedding was a good friend of mine from high school posted some pictures up on Facebook from the wedding. The girl messaged my friend and was like, "OMG I can't believe I wasn't invited! It could have been a high school reunion! That was so mean of her not to invite me!!" Uhh, I barely even know you, why the hell would I invite you to my wedding?!

6/29/2012 8:44:26 AM

This is why I don't want a wedding. I have a huge family and I see them all at least once a year.

6/29/2012 10:49:37 AM

I always love when people get butthurt over not being in the bridal party


But the reason our list was ridiculous is I have a very blended family. My parents are divorced, but my mom is remarried so I have 3 sets of family basically. Then consider the fact that my stepgrandmother is a widow and married a man with quite a big family (both Catholic). Our parents paid for everything minus some things here and there so... we had to go with it.

But we did piss off an aunt and cousin 2 days before the wedding because she said she was bringing said cousin, who was NOT invited. (Said cousin is a child molester and spent a few years in prison.) That was fun!

6/29/2012 11:01:21 AM

I'm telling you, limiting it to seven people invited is the best thing we ever decided on

nobody had a right to bitch because we didn't even invite 90% of our families, let alone friends

[/no drama]

[Edited on June 29, 2012 at 11:17 AM. Reason : Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.]

6/29/2012 11:16:32 AM

Quote :

"But we did piss off an aunt and cousin 2 days before the wedding because she said she was bringing said cousin, who was NOT invited. (Said cousin is a child molester and spent a few years in prison.) That was fun! "

Yeah I didn't invite a cousin of mine who is a blatant racist and she got super pissed off. "Why did you invite my sisters and not me?" I don't know, maybe because I don't want you talking shit to my non-white friends at the wedding.

6/29/2012 11:42:05 AM

Our invites IRL:







[Edited on June 29, 2012 at 12:00 PM. Reason : ]

6/29/2012 11:57:53 AM

I am not anticipating this level of crazy.

How naive am I?

6/29/2012 12:20:17 PM

^^ Cute!

^ Very

6/29/2012 12:30:32 PM

egyeyes, just out of curiosity, how much will it cost to mail each invite?

6/29/2012 12:33:28 PM

I only have like ... 12 family members total, so not too much drama is even possible on my side.

He can deal with his

6/29/2012 12:38:08 PM

Anybody else doing a wedding website too?

6/29/2012 1:55:36 PM

We did ours on Glo Site since it had the built-in RSVP function.

6/29/2012 2:20:39 PM

We are doing the rsvp's by mail only. Didn't want to make it too easy for people.

Making the site from scratch since I'm a web developer So far its been fun, just not sure of exactly what info to include. We did make an intro video using a flip camera and an afternoon. That's been well received.

6/29/2012 2:30:58 PM

I used the knot for our website. A friend was going to help us make our own from scratch but she was pretty unreliable.

6/29/2012 7:30:43 PM

My sister made our website, but we used Google Voice and an online RSVP form for the RSVPs. I used Google Docs to make a form people filled out via the website

http://paletteofpixels.com/ericandsam/?p=27

6/30/2012 12:56:39 AM

I made our own gmail for the wedding, and offered up my google voice number.



ALSO!!!! GO CASSIE! IT'S YOUR WEDDING DAY!

6/30/2012 8:38:13 AM

Stay cool out there, Cassie

6/30/2012 9:48:51 AM

Happy Wedding day, Cassie!! Can't wait to see pics!

6/30/2012 10:32:12 AM

Congrats Cass!

7/1/2012 1:30:45 PM

thanks frands

there's some pics starting to crop up on fb. i'm hoping our photographer will start to get some previews up in the next couple of days.

everyone had a blast and everyone was SMASHED hahah. and then we kind of took over the bar afterwards.

7/1/2012 4:50:00 PM

Quote :

"maybe because I don't want you talking shit to my non-white friends at the wedding. "

try having all your family be from Johnston County and you are marrying a Hawaiian/Marshallese woman...yea that cut my guest list down quite a bit.

7/2/2012 2:47:27 AM

people RSVP'ing "yes" when I know they aren't actually coming.

7/2/2012 7:29:18 AM

hey speaking of pics cropping up on fb, is it bad etiquette to post pictures of bride/groom before the professional photographer gets his pics up? or at least before they have a chance to 'preview' their wedding pictures?

7/2/2012 9:57:49 AM

^^ haha we had a few that RSVP'ed no and then changed their mind at the last minute

^ i don't think it's in bad taste. people have been posting pictures of us from the weekend like crazy and my photographer hasn't had a chance to post her stuff yet. i actually am excited to see all the photos people got.

7/2/2012 10:01:03 AM

No, not at all.

7/2/2012 10:01:13 AM

Our wedding website:

http://www.meganandcheron.com

Open to suggestions.

7/2/2012 10:15:44 AM

Anyone know of a good place to get fall themed invitations? I am thinking of doing something old fashioned, but rockin the fall thing with leaves and crap. Btw, I am getting married in 4 months and in no way do I even feel close to being a bridezilla. I am pretty stoked about it. I am worried about essentials such as passports and marriage papers and such. Lol I just want to have good food and beer at my reception :-). And hopefully the gifts and moneys will flow

7/2/2012 8:03:51 PM

I, too, am getting married in 4 months (and 8 days). My fiance's aunt is making our invitations though. Very simple trifold with invite in the center and one fold is just a small flap and inside the other fold there are little pockets to hold rsvp info, lodging info and directions, and our wedding website info. The envelope is brown, the paper is champagne, the writing is in dark green, and the envelope is fastened with a wide champagne ribbon and narrow dark green ribbon with a little bronze or gold acorn finding on it.

7/2/2012 9:16:12 PM

^^Adger at Sealed with Appeal designed our invitations. She does great custom work and is really low-cost. Her site is http://www.sealedwithappeal.com . She's been featured in The Knot's Best Of features and I posted pics of our invitations a few posts up. Highly recommend!

7/2/2012 11:12:16 PM

Have you looked on Etsy? Originally we were planning on a fall wedding and there were tons to choose from on Etsy.

7/2/2012 11:19:36 PM

Wedding Paper Divas, which tons of people on here have used, has tons of fall invites.

http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/shop/fall--wedding_invitations.htm

7/2/2012 11:54:42 PM

^, ^^^ i'll check out her / their website. Thanks. I did get some ideas from etsy but I am hoping to budget but have something creative too. For example, if I want some silly ribbon tied around the invite and if it's cheaper for me to buy it and wrap it myself, I can do it.

[Edited on July 3, 2012 at 3:59 PM. Reason : Opps]

[Edited on July 3, 2012 at 4:00 PM. Reason : Opps again]

7/3/2012 3:59:15 PM

Cassie you had a beautiful, classy affair. You looked so elegant on your wedding day

7/3/2012 7:36:45 PM

we used weddingpaperdivas.com & were very happy with our invitations. +1

7/3/2012 7:49:32 PM

Another +1 for wedding paper divas.

7/3/2012 7:52:46 PM

Got my fiance's suit for the wedding, but had to argue with my dad about getting one for my brother who is a groomsman. If he has to get my brother a suit he won't get a keg. Decisions, decision. We actually think since he is playing his ukulele for the processional that he just needs nice pants and a white shirt. I wouldn't want to try to play in a suit jacket. What say you, tdub?


Also, fiance's parents bought us a new bedroom suit for a wedding gift. It is fantastically awesome. They have done so much for us.

http://www.havertys.com/Product_20853

They got us 2 nightstands, drawer chest, door chest, and the dresser/mirror. We already have a nice bed.

7/7/2012 5:59:48 PM

Venting time!

Everything was going so well, but apparently my brother's suit is going to be the detail that causes a riot between my parents. Neither my brother nor I are too worried, but my mom ( who is not my brother' s mom) is livid, because my dad doesnt want to get a suit for my brother or himself. My brother and dad are both playing instruments for the processional, and I feel like they don't need jackets and would be more comfortable without them, but they would look better with them. I could go either way. My dad will have a hissy fit and take back money he has already invested in the wedding if I make him and my brother get a suit. My mother feels so strongly about it that she wants to call my brother's mother (dad's second ex wife) and talk to her, and if she says no she will buy the suit for my brother. She says dad can be the one looking stupid without a suit, but she knows my brother will be uncomfortable standing out from the rest of the groomsmen. To put in perspective I found a suit that would look nice for 70 bucks, Im not asking him to buy a 600 dollar suit.

And now my mom is saying she doesnt even want my dad to walk me down the aisle...


Mazel Tov!

7/7/2012 7:53:57 PM