Quote :

"i can't wait until we get to that point. How long was your engagement? we had a shortened one and i've definitely felt the go-go-go pressure and i'm really laid back on stuff."

well we started actually planning last June, so it will be 11 months

but I'm not doing a big wedding, so I don't have any of the following:
invitations (7 people were invited, so yeah, we just called them)
bridesmaids or groomsmen (pointless in a wedding so small)

the hardest part was finding a dress (I hate white) and choosing all of the food for dinner
still don't know if I want flowers at dinner or not, but it's fairly minor if I don't get them
of course I got pressure from my parents on this or that, but I've made my wishes clear and they've basically gotten over it

so it's an elopement with a few more people and a lot of food

3/21/2012 7:06:31 PM

that sounds SO amazing! i am definitely jealous

i'm only having 2 bridesmaids and i am so glad i decided to keep it small. since we did a shortened engagement i have been go-go-go and the less people i have to deal with, the better.

3/22/2012 8:07:54 AM

because pshoes scared the CRAP out of me last week i have gotten the following done:

make up contract signed
headband ordered and on its way
meeting with seamstress on thursday
invitations will be here on monday and ready to go out next week
flower girl dresses will be ordered this weekend

we were going to look at wedding bands on friday but i'm glad we didn't because we found out yesterday we're going to have to gut our master bathroom and completely re-do the tile because the stupid builder didn't put a shower liner in behind the tile and we have extensive water damage now that is rotting the floor boards so we need to do the bands this week now.

3/27/2012 1:49:29 PM

My wedding was pretty much like StillFuchsia's and it was a breeze. We're super introverts and knew we did not want a big deal wedding, ever.

3/28/2012 11:12:30 AM

I'm so over wedding planning.



I have official reached my "I don't give a what" stage (for real, for real). The future in-laws (and future husband) threw a giant fit over the tuxes and were violently opposed to my suggestion of gray suits so now they're having black tuxes (for an outdoor, more casual wedding). I told him if he looks like a leprechaun it's not my problem >_>

But in all seriousness, I know this is obviously not the most important detail of the wedding but I really don't like the thought of me feeling underdressed on our wedding day - and it bothers the crap out of me that his mom and dad took it upon themselves to take a "family vote." WTF is that.

3/28/2012 2:51:53 PM

Quote :

"WTF is that."

that's the family you're marrying into

Black tuxes won't be too bad. It'll be the last thing you'll be thinking about as you're walking up the aisle towards him.

but I agree, gray would be so much better, but what can you do, compromise is good right? :/

3/28/2012 3:17:18 PM

I guess I just don't see how it's a compromise -- and in reality, I know in this situation there is no compromise if they are that violently opposed. Just trying to pick my battles, I guess.

And it wouldn't be so bad if he said ya know, black suit, or something like that. Oh, no. They want black tuxes with vests and the whole shabang.

3/28/2012 3:20:54 PM

Is this before sundown? Black tux is a major fashion faux pas in that case. Weirdos.

3/28/2012 3:21:04 PM

Yes! Well, technically.


The ceremony is outdoors, in May, and it starts at 5. So obviously we will have quite a bit of day light during the hours of the reception. My bridesmaids are having knee/tea-length dresses (mine is also tea length), and they don't match.


Right now I'm trying to convince him to lose the damn vest

[Edited on March 28, 2012 at 3:24 PM. Reason : .]

3/28/2012 3:23:05 PM

Quote :

"The future in-laws (and future husband) threw a giant fit over the tuxes and were violently opposed to my suggestion of gray suits "

My husband suggested for our beach wedding that the groomsmen wear khaki colored shorts. My dad, who is the most laid back person ever, staunchly opposed it. I had no idea my dad cared about such things considering he got married in a blue leisure suit In the end regular khaki pants won.

3/28/2012 3:26:48 PM

Yeah, I mean for God's sake Eric bitches about having to wear khakis to church instead of jeans but is killing me over demanding a tux

3/28/2012 3:47:38 PM

I think sometimes people just get weird fixations on what is "supposed" to happen for a formal event like a wedding. It doesn't matter if the idea is in fact illogical given the location/time of year/whatever. Like when my husband had to wear a wool suit to an outdoor wedding in August in Raleigh because that's what the bride decided NEEDED to be done. So now in all their wedding photos you have pictures of guys beet red and sweating buckets during the ceremony.

3/28/2012 3:51:13 PM

Well, that I can see as being silly


I just wanted gray

3/28/2012 4:11:19 PM

share those pictures with samwise so she can show them to the fiance. If he's a visual person convince him with pictures! Show him pics of what you think would be better versus what he's thinking of...

3/28/2012 4:13:02 PM

I had suggested to my fiancé that his groomsmen could just wear a nice black suit with a matching tie but he's insisting they all wear tuxes. I'm kind of in the same boat - the bridesmaid dresses aren't super formal so I thought just doing black suits would be nice (there's only 2 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen) but whatever. If he wants them to go out and get tuxes so be it.

And then there is the veil situation - I don't like them. My future mother in law and fiancé would both like me to wear one. She keeps asking me to reconsider and then goes "do it for your fiancé! Make him happy." ugh. I hate veils. I got a killer headband though. It just arrived

And then finally there is the videographer situation. Which you know no one bothered to ask me earlier if they thought it would be a good idea but now my fiance's mom wants me to get one so that her family back home that can't attend can have a copy. So yeah now I have to consider that/talk to my dad.

3/28/2012 4:14:09 PM

whoa now, I think the veil is completely up to you. She's using "light momma guilt" to get you to wear what she wants, I'd put my foot down there.

Video would be nice though, how much does it add to your budget?

3/28/2012 4:18:42 PM

Quote :

"I just wanted gray "

I love grey tuxes/suits for men in a wedding.

^^I didn't wear a veil. I didn't want one, and everyone commented on how "everyone wears a veil." But I didn't want to obscure my neckline, and I frankly don't like how veils looked on me. Day of the wedding, not one person commented on my lack of veil, and it turned out to be great.

And if your future MIL wants a videographer for her own purposes, then she should be the one fronting the cost. Just my opinion, of course. But, you might want a video later too, for your own memories?

[Edited on March 28, 2012 at 4:29 PM. Reason : ]

3/28/2012 4:26:09 PM

I'm not doing a veil... and Kodiak wouldn't want me to anyway

Kodiak is also doing a gray suit (super handsome, btw) and a green tie that vaguely matches my dress

plus he can wear the suit again, of course... so I think it's more practical than renting a tux or something

we're also not doing a videographer

there will be 10 people at my wedding: you take into account our photographers, that's increasing the party by 20%... yet another person with a recording device is one too many, besides that there would be like 10 minutes of footage of the ceremony, so whatever

my mom pressed hard on the videographer... but wtf, she can record the thing if she really wants to without hiring someone

[Edited on March 28, 2012 at 5:21 PM. Reason : .]

3/28/2012 5:18:54 PM

Quote :

"The future in-laws (and future husband) threw a giant fit over the tuxes and were violently opposed to my suggestion of gray suits"

it's his day too. Seems like the upset over not having grey suits could've been avoided if you asked what he wanted from the get go.

My guy was a "I'm wearing a tux...and that's all there is to that." and he's also a pretty laid back guy. I was shocked. only thing I had to convince him of was vest over cummerbund

Cummerbund...hahahahahaha...who other than old men wear cummerbunds?

For the record...June 7th wedding at 3 pm with bridesmaids wearing tea length dresses. I don't think it looks bad or "faux pas" at all. I think we all look pretty damn spiffy actually.

3/28/2012 5:28:27 PM

Quote :

"Video would be nice though, how much does it add to your budget?"

I'll have to ask around and figure out how much it costs.

There is no budget but I'm very conscious of how much things cost and how much is being spent.

[Edited on March 28, 2012 at 9:05 PM. Reason : Etc]

3/28/2012 8:56:35 PM

Quote :

"I don't think it looks bad or "faux pas" at all."

Nobody said anything about the bridesmaid dresses being a "faux pas," and I doubt anyone will care about that. A black tux during the day is awkward, though. Traditionally, gray is worn before sundown (or around 6 pm), black after.

Though I seriously doubt most Americans know this rule or care about it with regard to weddings.

[Edited on March 28, 2012 at 9:22 PM. Reason : seems to be tied more to English traditions (morning dress vs. black tie)]

3/28/2012 9:17:13 PM

I was talking about the tux.

Sam was saying her gals were in tea length & with a tux that might look odd...I was simply saying that mine were as well, the men were in tuxes and it did not look bad. I was saying faux pas to the tuxes in the day remark. It looked fine.

Bc I too think the tradition of what goes when is silly...I think you should do what you want. In this case that being the wants of the groom.

[Edited on March 28, 2012 at 10:56 PM. Reason : ]

3/28/2012 10:51:09 PM

Oh I wasn't worried about the length, just the matter of them being all non matching and laid back compared to a more formal tux. As for the gray thing, I was so overwhelmed by all of this because over the past 2 years I have showed Eric different styles and we talked about it, and he seemed cool with doing gray or some type of khaki (but the khaki didnt look that great in the end). Then out of nowhere he's all, IM HAVING A BLACK TUX AND THAT'S THAT! Had it been from the beginning, I really wouldn't have cared, because then I would have probably tried to make the bridesmaids a little more formal, ya know? Not too formal, but yeah.

I guess my biggest fear with it all is if it looks too decked out we'll look like we're from different weddings. and another main reason I was stressing/pissed is how the future in laws were all, "we took a family vote so this is what's happening."

3/28/2012 11:02:07 PM

That's what I meant as well...the casual of the tea length did not look bad wi the formalness of the tux. I guess I am poorly making my point this evening.

3/28/2012 11:04:54 PM

Before getting engaged I really thought there would be nothing I would want to register for. I just wanted to ask for cash and gift cards.

Now I love my registry.


Le Creuset is dominating the Macy's one. <3

3/28/2012 11:13:38 PM

Quote :

""we took a family vote so this is what's happening.""

Yeah, this would piss me off.

3/29/2012 8:03:33 AM

wohoo taking my dress today to the seamstress to get it altered

and my wedding headband came in yesterday and looks FABBBBB.

3/29/2012 8:06:13 AM

So I have a preggers bridesmaid now! She will be 8 months along on the day of my wedding. Is there anything I could do at the wedding to make her more comfortable?? Would it be completely silly to have a chair for her to sit in while everyone else is standing?

3/29/2012 9:04:13 AM

I love that headband, Cass! Very pretty


LK, I get your point, but I dont think I'm making mine clear either it really isn't the length I'm worried about, it's more of the style of the dresses. Most everyone didn't get an actual bridesmaid dress and just found something in a store - they look very pretty but it's obviously more casual than a typical bridesmaid dress, I guess. Either way, I think I made some headway on Eric taking away the vest (which turns out wasn't the most important thing to him anyway, but that's how he made it seem at first, so that's good).

^ how long is the ceremony?

[Edited on March 29, 2012 at 9:14 AM. Reason : .]

3/29/2012 9:14:09 AM

It shouldnt be long. Im hoping it is short sweet and to the point.

3/29/2012 9:35:33 AM

you can ask her if she would like a chair - it might be a game time decision. she might be feeling great, she might be like, "okkkkaaayyy i need to take a seat" you can tell her that you will do whatever to make sure she is comfortable so she knows that you care about her and want to make sure she's having a good time. are you letting your bridesmaids pick out their own shoes?

3/29/2012 9:40:31 AM

Im getting all the bridesmaids toms flats.

3/29/2012 9:41:49 AM

I think if it's short it'll be fine, but like Cass said, just make it available to her in case she needs one

3/29/2012 9:43:56 AM

Maybe I can repurpose a cool tree stump since it will be a fall wedding.

3/29/2012 9:47:02 AM

Or just have an available seat on the front row? And let her know that she can sit any time she wants to, that way she has the option to stand or sit, and you don't have to mar the look of your bridal party with a random chair.

Although the stump idea would be pretty neat, but you run the risk of her being unable to get back up off the stump.

3/29/2012 9:59:01 AM

I would have to make sure her groomsman escort knew to come get her if she ended up sitting down.

3/29/2012 10:07:30 AM

Quote :

"Im getting all the bridesmaids toms flats."

perfect! i was going to say, if you were going to ask the girls to wear heels, just let your bridesmaid know she can wear flats.

i think you'll be okay. just let your bridesmaid know you want her to be comfortable and do whatever needed to ensure that.

3/29/2012 11:00:31 AM

We had a chair at the front near where the bridesmaids were standing for my friend who was pregnant at the time. She didn't use it. I'd make sure she had one during all the photos though. That took way longer than the ceremony and she got tired quickly.

3/29/2012 11:00:53 AM

That kind of seals the idea of a cool repurposed tree stump, maybe carve a little heart with our initials and the date. Then we can take it outside for the photos and even if she isnt sitting it will at least look cute in the photos!

3/29/2012 11:05:13 AM

I found one of our readings pretty much perfect for our relationship (down to the shopping and things bits):


The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, HIS cage.

Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.

The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur's cage with kind words and loving thoughts.

I like this Dinosaur, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny. He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.

I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur. She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice. She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire
in a dinosaur.

But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.

He is also overly fond of Things. Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of Things?

But her mind skips from here to there so quickly, thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keen on Shopping. Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?

I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for Things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.

I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with beautiful thought and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.

Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old. Look at them.

Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.

And that, my friends, is how it is with love. Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.

For the sun is warm. And the world is a beautiful place.

- Edward Monkton, Lovely Love Story

3/29/2012 11:35:11 AM

^ My fiancee's little sister read that at their brother's wedding.

I too will be having a pregnant bridesmaid. She'll be 7 months pregnant.

Oh, and invitations arrived yesterday! Yay!

[Edited on March 29, 2012 at 12:44 PM. Reason : /]

3/29/2012 12:44:16 PM

Speaking of Le Creuset


I got my first piece today! Love my new teapot!

3/29/2012 6:53:07 PM

A friend of mine is looking to alter her Vera Wang dress, but can't because they have a no-alteration contract with David's Bridal. I remember reading in here about some awesome dress lady...with a foreign name, in the Triangle area, I think...anyone know who I'm referring to?

3/30/2012 12:26:04 AM

Olga! Just google Olga with Raleigh.

3/30/2012 1:01:26 AM

i took mine to this woman up in Wake Forest yesterday who used to be the alterations manager at Neiman Marcus in NJ and now has her own shop here. she also used to do alterations at the Saks here in Raleigh and still does from time to time. we're going to have to break down my fittings into a few appointments because she wants to do the hem first (since the dress is like 8 feet too long on me) and then work on pulling up the part that starts to flare (we'll probably have to pull it up so the flare hits at the right part) and then do whatever other things last (the top needs to be taken in and possibly the middle). i'm excited to see it when it's done - right now the dress is just WAAAY too long on me so it's hard to vision the final product.

3/30/2012 8:45:45 AM

finished paying off venues and services yesterday.

less than a month.

the tungsten carbide ring i ordered is too big.

a surprisingly high percentage of people responded to the invite rsvp date without prodding.

got a lot left to do.

the distributor i had planned to use for booze has been very.... not responsive, so i'm kinda contemplating just going to total wine and buying it all myself a day or two before. seems like a dumb idea right?

[Edited on March 30, 2012 at 9:12 AM. Reason : e ]

3/30/2012 8:58:02 AM

We furnished alcohol ourselves. If you do go that route, place an order with Total Wine instead that way they'll have exactly what you need.

3/30/2012 9:31:17 AM

yeah i'm going to provide it. my sister's friend opened up tasty bev downtown, and was going to order from them, but dude man has not been too responsive

good idea with calling total wine and making sure they'll be able to provide what i want.

since we've lived in several states, i plan on providing my favorite micro from each of the states we've lived in (that i can get easily in nc), then bulk beers (bud light/miller lite) and wines.

seems like a neat little touch that my beer snob friends will pick up on.

3/30/2012 9:49:53 AM

Tasty Beverage is awesome

3/30/2012 9:56:57 AM

Hey guys, my wedding is coming up in a few months and im looking for an awesome ncsu cake topper. Any help finding one would be much appreciated. I have only found one on Etsy.

4/2/2012 9:53:50 AM