i start pole dancing 1.0 on the 6th!! [Edited on August 23, 2011 at 3:12 PM. Reason : 77]
8/23/2011 3:10:07 PM
8/23/2011 3:42:09 PM
^ i did that too. much better now. [Edited on August 23, 2011 at 4:04 PM. Reason : sfd]
8/23/2011 3:48:10 PM
What does it mean to "accept yourself" if you're overweight, and what good does it do? If you recognize that something isn't right with your life, the solution is not to say, "I'm fine with the way I am." You're obviously not fine with the way you are if you recognize that something is wrong.I've been obese. My life changed when I took an objective look at myself and was disgusted. Patting myself on the back didn't help. I had been doing that and making excuses for years. I was decidedly not okay with my life. Being fat sucked horribly, it destroyed any confidence I might have had, and it made the future seem hopeless.These days, it seems like the mantra is that self-esteem is all that matters and that everything will fall into place if you have high self-esteem. The problem is that genuine self-esteem has been replaced by fleeting motivation and false positive feedback. I find that this is especially common among overweight women who, on one hand, are riddled with self-image issues resulting from the media/culture, and on the other hand, are legitimately unhealthy.I was never able to "pep talk" myself into exercising and eating the way I needed to by reassuring myself. The part of my brain delivering the internal pep talk would say, "What's another milkshake? No big deal. Exercise? Maybe tomorrow." What I needed to be telling myself (and what I eventually did tell myself) is, "Dude, you are pathetic. You're lazy, you look like shit, you're anti-social, no female on the planet could be attracted to you under any circumstances, and no combination of your other positive traits will make up for that. You need to stick to the plan so that months down the road, things will start improving."Does it seem like I was berating myself? Maybe I was, but I told myself what no friends or family were willing to say to my face: that I was a complete slob in desperate need of permanent lifestyle changes. It's not about beating yourself up, it's about taking ownership of your life.[Edited on August 23, 2011 at 4:31 PM. Reason : ]
8/23/2011 4:21:50 PM
8/23/2011 4:59:08 PM
FWIW, after thinking about it I can honestly say at my smallest I beat myself up more than ever before. That's another thing I want to work on.
8/23/2011 6:35:38 PM
^^^ i think you may be reading what's being said wrong.
8/23/2011 7:19:10 PM
8/23/2011 7:54:24 PM
I guess I'll overshare with some fairly boring and typical stuff...d357r0y3r, I'm glad you shared! It sounds like we've definitely had different paths. But I can relate in one sense. I got so large that the only way I could function under the crippling self-disgust was to mentally remove myself from my body. Of course, once you accomplish this feat, it means the body no matter longer matters...and I gained another gazillion pounds on top of what I thought was the largest I could possibly get.But I've been weight conscious since I was five years-old. Bigger, taller, and stronger than other kids. Definitely not allowed to forget it. Started exercising at night in my room when I was 8. Food/calorie log followed shortly. Regardless, I was consistently about five pounds overweight. Following the onset of puberty, I was more seriously overweight in the fifth grade but that leveled out within the year.Otherwise, I was always trying to lose weight, and invariably, I always returned to a perfectly perfect and healthy 156 pounds. After years of despising myself, and for a number reasons, including dozens and dozens of ill-advised attempts at weight loss, my brain finally broke for good at 17...and I embarked on a rapid weight gain adventure for the ages!And now I've got what I got, and I have to learn to like it cause hating it didn't work for me. That's good that it worked for you though![Edited on August 23, 2011 at 9:14 PM. Reason : I'm 5'7" if anybody wants to judge my notion of "perfectly perfect and healthy."]
8/23/2011 9:00:31 PM
8/23/2011 9:54:43 PM
^ Not sure that I agree with that!The standard of beauty is cyclical. Look at the curvy pinup models of the 50s. And look at the pin-thin Victoria's Secret models. There's so much pressure for girls to fit a certain trendy ideal, when maybe we shouldn't fight nature! It's a shame that the trend right now is what it is. I think women would be much healthier if we didn't have such bizarre, trendy standards of beauty.
8/23/2011 10:10:51 PM
^^I've already lost weight, and I'm always chugging along, tryna work on these issues and others that are actually more pressing.I really wasn't looking for advice or encouragement.Anyway, I haven't even scratched the surface of this crap. I can share and analyze these things with other women for hours, but I'm trying to suppress that tendency. I apologize for slipping up here.RESUME BEACH BODY CHALLENGE TALK!^Yes![Edited on August 23, 2011 at 10:29 PM. Reason : ]
8/23/2011 10:28:48 PM
Don't feel like you slipped up - I think it's great to have these talksI felt extremely self conscious tonight. I had to slip into my "fat" jeans due to weight gain/bloat and even though I know I'm not physically a whale it drove me crazy. I think now I'm super duper self conscious because I know I had lost weight and now I've gained a little back and I'm frustrated due to all this f'ing bloatingThe frustration is good motivation though I guess because I worked really hard at taekwondo tonight
8/24/2011 12:01:13 AM
good luck to all of you. i had no idea how weight impacts people mentally. that pep talk insult train is scary.... I cant say I have had anything remotely like that happen.everyday i wake up and can perfectly balance a seesaw with my bff Stein is a good day.
8/24/2011 8:21:22 AM
8/24/2011 11:30:04 AM
i used to be self-conscious, but after 25lbs i feel very confident. i like where i am and am officially in "maintain" mode.
8/24/2011 11:34:18 AM
You only get one body, why would you not train it to be the best it can be?Optimizing your genetic potential is something we should strive for. Strength comes from struggle; the opposite of comfortable complacency.[Edited on August 24, 2011 at 11:43 AM. Reason : 0]
8/24/2011 11:42:52 AM
nmim going to get a bunch of unsolicited advice [Edited on August 24, 2011 at 12:07 PM. Reason : dfds]
8/24/2011 12:01:57 PM
8/24/2011 12:08:05 PM
^lol. i totally exchanged some of my workout times for botanical seminar classes.
8/24/2011 12:14:37 PM
^2 AH! I love the response you had about working your mind. I don't understand why we should have to push our bodies to their greatest achievements - I wonder how some people would feel (not anyone specifically in this thread, just in general) if I constantly asked them why they didn't take their degree further and try to get a Master's, PhD, MD, DVM, etc etc.But I will say, if everyone tried taking themselves to their absolute genetic potential in every area, that person would become obsessed and most likely disappointed. How can you even know what your genetic potential is? Even with something as extreme as a microarray or having your genome sequenced, you will never know exactly what you will be able to do simply due to genetics. There are way too many things that impact the way our genes function and are therefore expressed. /nerding out
8/24/2011 1:46:19 PM
The same principle also applies to your brain... it is part of your body. I practice this by reading a lot and setting goals that push my comfort levels. It's not about being obsessive or a perfectionist, it's about not accepting mediocrity.The point I am making is that the justification of accepting yourself as fat or weak is pitiful and a great disservice to yourself. In other words, life is short, you only get one chance at this and being complacent with yourself is a waste.Concerning the comment on not knowing your genetic potential, and that being a reason not to pursue is it, is a defeatist attitude. The goal isn't perfection, it's the pursuit. No one is perfect, but my mindset is that I should be doing something everyday to push my boundaries.
8/24/2011 2:04:27 PM
I am not saying anyone should think to themselves, "this is who I am so poor pitiful me," but I don't think constantly telling yourself you have to live up to your genetic potential is good for anyone either. You will never know the potential - I understand wanting to better yourself, but if you are constantly wondering "is this my potential?" I can see a lot of psychological impact from that sort of thinking. Also, what is "mediocrity" when it comes to each person? Everyone is different, so why don't we just stop the comparisons? (Again, a general comment)[Edited on August 24, 2011 at 2:15 PM. Reason : But I do think you took my comment the wrong way - I never said don't pursue anything.]
8/24/2011 2:14:52 PM
^^I like this a lot. I think for a long time I just accepted my mediocre lifestyle, so I got complacent with a lot of things, like what I ate and put into my body, just watching tv, not aiming high for my career. My high metabolism slowed with age and I started gaining lots of weight until I realized how complacent and boring I let my life become. It makes me sad to think about now. I feel much better about my body and I don't want to be my mediocre self anymore. I want to push my body and my mind, make goals and keep pushing myself. My goals are different than a lot of people in here, I dont want to be a bodybuilder etc, I just want to be healthy and be able to do activities I enjoy like running and sports.
8/24/2011 2:43:09 PM
Mediocrity is accepting comfortable complacency, rather than striving for improvement. It's being part of the status quo. It's being average. Here is a definition for it "of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate"Yea, everyone is different. This no excuse for accepting a lesser version of yourself than what you can achieve.I am not saying that you can't be happy the way you are. In fact, I advocate attempting to let go of your "self" and be one of no mind (that is a whole another topic). I am not judging or saying someone doesn't have the right to be whatever way they want. However, accepting mediocrity is not something I admire.
8/24/2011 3:03:12 PM
I like to accept "above average." I don't have the time to spend to reach my physical limits. I have other areas of my life to worry about.
8/24/2011 3:22:42 PM
I love how MattJMM2 enters this thread and the tone gets all sour again.And off that unrelated social commentary: The diet begins Tuesday (Perhaps Monday if I don't end up going out for sushi... but I really want to eat some sushi before doing the whole lose-weight thing). In America, on the scale that I've been weighing on here in Hungary, I gained 8 kg over the two and a half months of "vacation."Gonna be doing the same stuff. I'm also going to take legit before pictures.I'm looking forward to it.
8/24/2011 3:29:36 PM
^ I don't think it's sour at all. Actually some pretty healthy discussion going (I actually think it was a little more sour earlier in this page BEFORE he got involved).But his profession (and most likely his general thought process) revolves around maximizing your body's potential. So he's obviously going to be a little biased in regards to the effort and attitude put towards working out and staying fit.IMO, it's very important, just not THE most important. And as long as I'm in above average shape, I'm not going to let "reaching my maximum potential" get in the way of other important things in life. In summary, while definitely in my top 10, it's not at the top of my list.
8/24/2011 3:33:47 PM
I might just be going off skipping to the bottom and reading Samwise16's posts. I'm pretty sure our opinion of the e-persona that is Matt is pretty close.If there was undue sourness-assuming, I apologize.
8/24/2011 3:36:10 PM
How did you gain ~17 pounds on vacation? That's almost two pounds a week. Not trying to be frank, but you've got to control the splurging or you're never going to be able to keep weight off in the future.
8/24/2011 3:47:46 PM
LOL my e-persona?You've already attacked me once with a lame image.I come in to this thread and drop two things:1. My knowledge2. My opinions You don't appreciate or apply the knowledge. You hate on the opinions.Like I said when you posted a picture of your opinion of me, why not stop being a hater and focus on getting your goals achieved? Or, I suppose you can just accept yourself as overweight and give up.Sorry if I am souring your pity party by holding my self and others to high standards.Concerning my comments about "reaching maximum potential..." I meant optimizing. Meaning constantly striving to be better. Not obsessing over being perfect.It's simple: Do what you can to be better than yesterday. That doesn't mean be perfect. It means be better.[Edited on August 24, 2011 at 4:11 PM. Reason : words]
8/24/2011 4:10:43 PM
ahh[Edited on August 24, 2011 at 4:18 PM. Reason : you fixed it ]
8/24/2011 4:12:00 PM
My intent was not to be sour, but rather to offer serious, frank advice based on my past experiences. I'm not telling anyone they need to go hardcore and be a bodybuilder, but I am saying that I know what it's like to be "stuck in a rut," so to speak. This could apply to many areas of life, but in the context of this thread, it's related to becoming overweight (or otherwise unhealthy due to lack of nutrition/fitness) and dealing with that. I have been there, so I offered some insight into what mental process I had to go through in order to make some permanent changes, hoping that it would be helpful.Many people here offer great advice as far as what you should eat and what exercises you should use to get good results. I could offer some decent advice in those areas as well, but I'm offering advice that people who have never been overweight are simply unqualified to give. It is not easy to stick to a plan and get the weight off. It takes discipline and it takes getting real with yourself when every fiber of your being just wants to give up and stay in your comfort zone.These people that have always been skinny/normal weight telling you to just accept yourself no matter what, with all due respect, have absolutely no clue what they're talking about. They don't know what it's like.
8/24/2011 5:06:51 PM
8/24/2011 6:09:31 PM
I'm in the market for a decent exercise bikeSuggestions? Anyone know of a legit website with decent reviews? Looking sub $500 and want a nice comfortable seat!
8/24/2011 6:57:22 PM
my wife and I basically have the older model of:http://www.amazon.com/Schwinn-240-Recumbent-Exercise-Bike/dp/B00275R23E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314226735&sr=8-1The model we have was about $400 new when it came out but we got it for $120 off craigslist...and the girl had barely EVER used it. It was a complete steal. The Schwinn's in general seem to be pretty nice though.
8/24/2011 7:00:36 PM
8/24/2011 7:08:36 PM
Not really. Being extremely underweight can be just as dangerous as being extremely overweight.
8/24/2011 7:15:16 PM
Just because someone looks healthy now, it doesn't mean they've always been skinny.Some girl at the gym was telling me about her weight loss. She closed her story with, "I wouldn't expect you to understand bc you've prob never had weight probs."Seriously??? I told her that I had lost 35 lbs, but thought it was kind of bizarre for her to say that. Seemed kind of mean. Not like it was 100, but I know what it's like to be the fat kid.
8/24/2011 7:19:43 PM
^ This, too.Or you may look at someone who you don't consider that "healthy" and it turns out they used to have an eating disorder. I see no problem with them being a little overweight if it means them actually being happy with themselves instead of hating everything about themselves and never eating, or working out way way WAY too much.
8/24/2011 7:22:31 PM
Not really what? They're only similar in the sense that they are in the category of "weight issues." Being obese means every single movement takes additional effort. It means walking up a flight of stairs leaves you completely out of breath. It also affects your social life and your attractiveness to others in a much different way.The mental obstacles keeping one from overcoming something like anorexia are different than the ones for overcoming obesity. I don't toss out advice to anorexics, because I don't have a clue what's going on in their mind, and I can't relate to someone that doesn't want to eat.
8/24/2011 7:26:27 PM
Exactly. Something like one in ten women have dealt with an eating disorder. And it's little things/comments that can trigger a relapse.
8/24/2011 7:27:48 PM
Binge-eating is part of bulimia. Either way, the person with the disease has to fight some inner demons to treat their disease and avoid self-destructive behavior. So there are some commonalities. And some differences. Not sure if you can say that one suffers more than another.
8/24/2011 7:35:34 PM
I think I'm a woman.Sometimes I binge eat like it's my job Like, omg, why did I just do that to myself binge eating. Rinse repeat in a few days.[Edited on August 24, 2011 at 8:06 PM. Reason : in fact, i'm considering doing it now.]
8/24/2011 8:04:30 PM
So if you want to talk about the physically taxing differences, why don't we consider how weak some people are who battle bulimia and anorexia? And what about the fact that they lose many nutrients from these practices? That leads to many physiological things causing weakness and many, many symptoms that make it hard to function.I'm sorry, but I don't see your point. And being a former fatty, even I can't stand the argument of "skinny people just don't understand."
8/24/2011 8:32:13 PM
8/24/2011 8:42:40 PM
^^I think you're just arguing for the sake of it, which I should probably be used to given the amount of time I've spent in TSB. I offered advice based on my past experiences. I don't have much advice to give someone that is a normal weight but still sees themselves as fat. I've never had that problem. I'm not going to tell them to work hard and lose weight, because that advice doesn't apply to them. If they're very overweight, I can tell them how I conquered that problem myself.Essentially, you've conflated skinny people with self-image issues with overweight people with self-image issues. They're two separate set of circumstances. One set I can relate to. The other I can't relate to. There isn't much to say beyond that, so let's not shit on the thread with what amounts to a semantics debate.^Did you just not get enough to eat, or was it from overtraining?[Edited on August 24, 2011 at 8:48 PM. Reason : ]
8/24/2011 8:47:48 PM
8/24/2011 8:53:31 PM
Hah, wow. I was just pointing out that skinny =/= healthy and can be just as unhealthy as being overweight. There is nothing wrong with offering your perspective and how you overcame your problem, but all Lucy and myself were trying to do is demonstrate that it's not really fair to say skinny people don't have a right or reason to have the same self-esteem issues (or physical problems).
8/24/2011 8:55:11 PM
Nothing says "I'm serious about getting in shape" like Red Bull on the treadmill!
8/24/2011 9:02:43 PM