Lisa: He doesn't care.
Homer: Sure I do, I just want to have a beer while I care.

12/28/2009 6:30:56 PM

Marge: "You're not even listening to me right now"
Homer: "Sure they will"

Bart: "As much as I hate that man right now, you gotta admit he looks good in that suit"

1/1/2010 7:26:53 PM

SEX CAULDRON? I thought they closed that place down

1/1/2010 7:28:28 PM

http://homerlove.ytmnd.com/

1/2/2010 12:25:25 AM

^lmao, thats great

1/2/2010 12:29:39 AM

Marge: "Im so embarrassed, I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die"

Guard: "Ok, throw her in the hole"

1/4/2010 7:27:12 PM

drederick tatum: Homer's a nice guy, I like 'em, but I'm defintiely going to make orphans out of his children.


reporter: but you do realize the children have a mother, right champ?

tatum: yes, but i would imagine that she would die of grief.

1/4/2010 8:26:09 PM

Homer: Look Lisa, it looks like tomorrow I'll be shoveling 10 feet of GLOBAL WARMING!! hehehe

1/5/2010 11:41:00 PM

BLOOD ON THE BLACKBOARD: the Bart Simpson Story

1/8/2010 5:24:58 PM

dont know if it's been posted, but when bart and lisa are about to be baptised


bart: ha ha you're gonna be lisa flanders...
lisa: you're gonna be bart flanders
bart: AAAAHHHH!

1/8/2010 6:54:29 PM

^
Oh, Bartholemew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan.

1/8/2010 6:59:17 PM

From "Take My Wife Sleaze"

Announcer: And now, back to your Tuesday morning movie. [a boy who resembles James Dean in a leather jacket runs out of a modest house, gets on a motorcycle, and rides away]
Mother: Oh, I don't know what's the matter with Jimmy. He won't do his homework, he only salutes the flag with one finger, and he comes home every night with other peoples' blood on his shirt.
Father: He's a rebel, I tell you, a rebel without a cause....just like that boy in that popular movie we saw.

Meathook: There's only one reasonable way to settle this... you and me, in the circle of death.
Marge: Ooooh, I just swept the circle of death.


Meathook: You know what I'm going to do after I kill you? Take your wallet.
Homer: Never! It was a gift from "Newsweek"!

[Edited on January 8, 2010 at 8:59 PM. Reason : .]

1/8/2010 8:58:39 PM

"Please pay for your purchases and get out and come again."

1/8/2010 9:51:03 PM

There is a Machiavellian countenance

and pretty much every other Homer quote in the episode where he mixes up the "Build your Vocabulary" tape with the "Weight Loss Tape"

1/16/2010 12:04:42 PM

Bart Simpson: You know why these clothes are on sale, Mom? Because the kids who wear them get beaten up.
Marge Simpson: Well, anyone who beats you up for wearing a shirt isn't your friend.

Mr. Burns: Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.

Lionel Hutz: And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Sometimes as a lawyer.

1/16/2010 1:46:32 PM

Mr. Burns: "Ooh don't poo-poo a nickel, Lisa. A nickel will buy you a steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake and a newsreel, with enough change left over to ride the trolley from Battery Park to the polo grounds.

1/16/2010 10:09:17 PM

^^has anyone posted the one where Bart gets a new outfit and sees Jimbo outside pounding his fist. Marge is like "oh he's just jealous of your new little outfit" and then Jimbo is like "Gooodd i wish i had that little outfit"

1/16/2010 10:12:34 PM

Homer: Question two. Who was your last employer?
Shary Bobbins: Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex.
Homer (whispering): Marge, do we know them?
Marge: No.
Homer: Come on! Isn't he the guy I bowl with? The black guy.
Marge: That's Carl.
Homer: Oh yeah! (aloud) So, you worked for Carl, eh?

1/16/2010 11:38:40 PM

Homer: "Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax"

1/17/2010 9:43:54 PM

Lenny: Some party Homer.
Homer: Shut up, net face!
Lenny: Hey, you're in the net too!
Homer: I said shut up, net face!

Doctor: You are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
Mr. Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?
Doctor: Uh . . . a little bit, yes.

Burns: So what you're saying is, I'm indestructible!
Doctor: Oh, no, no, in fact, even slight breeze could…
Burns: Indestructible....

2/2/2010 6:42:19 PM

^ great episode

2/2/2010 8:41:03 PM

Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.

2/2/2010 9:01:37 PM

Krusty: "I slugged some jerk in Tahoe, they gave me 1 to 3, my high priced lawyer sprung me on a technicality. Im just visiting Springfield prison, I get to sleep at home tonight"

2/5/2010 2:31:53 AM

Homer: Five-alarm chili, eh?
Ned: Uh-huh.
Homer: [eats some] One, two... hey, what's the big idea?
Ned: Oh, I admit it. It's only two-alarm, two-and-a-half, tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.
Todd: Daddy? Are you going to jail?
Ned: We'll see, son. We'll see.

2/24/2010 2:04:32 PM

Marge: Homey!
Homer imposter: Marge honey-fräulein, I'm home.
Marge: You're not my husband.
Homer imposter: Ja, please forgive my unexplained two-week absence. To make it up to you, we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaurant, then have a night of efficient German sex.
Marge: Well, I sure don't feel like cooking.

3/2/2010 6:59:46 PM

Marge: You should have left for work an hour ago!
Homer: They said if I come in late again I'm fired. I can't take that chance!

3/15/2010 6:37:53 PM

http://hotstuffcomingthrough.ytmnd.com/

3/15/2010 8:50:20 PM

omg, plz to embed, kthx

http://s993.photobucket.com/albums/af52/nataliasc/?action=view¤t=MrParksWebsite-TheSimpsonsZincFilm.flv

i guess i need a quote

Quote :

"Come Back, Zinc! Come Back!"

[Edited on March 19, 2010 at 9:47 AM. Reason : ....]

3/19/2010 9:44:15 AM

Lisa: The man hates pants

Homer: I'm an American tourist. I'm just here to see some sites, try some goofy new food, and spread some sheckles with my Carolina Panthers credit card. Panthers!

3/30/2010 12:44:19 PM

what was it that Homer said sunday night?

Rabi panther says "rawr"

3/30/2010 12:46:20 PM

Bart: You make me sick, Homer. You're the one who told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it!

Homer: Well, now that you're a little bit older, I can tell you that's a crock! No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

3/30/2010 1:11:52 PM

Homer: Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're *never* going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

3/30/2010 1:20:13 PM

Seymour Skinner: I have a bomb.

Chief Wiggum: Wait a minute. Those aren't bombs. They're hot dogs. Armour hot dogs.

Superintendent Chalmers: What kind of man wears Armour hot dogs?


[Edited on April 24, 2010 at 4:39 PM. Reason : ...]

4/24/2010 4:37:20 PM

Maybe not the best, but certainly the one most applicable to me right now:

Homer: "I didn't want to sleep last night so I took some pills I found on the floor and now I'm afraid that if I stop talking I'll die. Isn't that right, Jesus?" (Looks at thin air)

4/27/2010 5:25:16 PM

fucking double post.

[Edited on April 27, 2010 at 5:25 PM. Reason : ]

4/27/2010 5:25:16 PM

Marge: Work called and said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother coming in Monday
Homer: WOO-HOO! Four day weekend!!

4/27/2010 5:55:51 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CL4iVQyp9L4

4/27/2010 6:09:09 PM

homer: god bless those pagans
bart: get some more of those flintstones chewable morphine

5/19/2010 6:07:18 PM

Sideshow Bob hitting a rake and smacking him in the face: "Mmmaaahhaaa"

5/19/2010 7:03:22 PM

+



=

APRIL F....

5/19/2010 7:22:17 PM

5/19/2010 8:18:50 PM

Homer: Hello, is this NASA?
Scientist: Yes
Homer: Good! Listen, I'm sick of your boring space launches. Now I'm just an ordinary, blue-collar slob, but I know what I likes on TV.
Scientist: How did you get this number?
Homer: Shut up! And another thing, how come I can't get no Tang 'round here?


Homer: Hello, is this President Clinton? Good! I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it'd be you....Shut up!

[Edited on May 19, 2010 at 8:46 PM. Reason : lulz]

5/19/2010 8:45:58 PM

Homer: You used to be a boxer just like me?
Moe: Yup. They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid
Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Moe.

Homer: You know Lucius Sweet?! He's one of the biggest names
in boxing! He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he
looks just like him, too!
Moe: Yeah, he was my manager. Back when I was Gorgeous, everybody
wanted a piece of me. But somehow, I just never made it to the
big time.
Homer: Why not?
Moe: 'Cause I got knocked out forty times in a row. That, plus
politics. You know, it's all politics.
Homer: Lousy democrats.

5/20/2010 6:48:46 PM

Marge: And another thing, it's only 5:15, why are you in your underwear?
Bart: Hey, this ain't the Ritz.

5/22/2010 10:19:14 PM

"I wanted a Range Rover, this is a Land Rover. This is the worst Martin Luther King Day ever."

6/2/2010 6:46:40 PM

“I’m afraid I must insist. You see, my wife, she has been most vocal on the subject of the pretzel monies. ‘Where’s the money?’ ‘When are you going to get the money?’ ‘Why aren’t you getting the money now?’ And so on.”

6/3/2010 11:15:31 AM

Hey Fat Tony! You still with the mob?

6/3/2010 11:24:48 AM

Fat Tony: Did you have a nice flight, Johnny Tightlips?
Johnny Tightlips: I ain’t sayin’ nothin’.
Fat Tony: I understand. So how is your mother?
Johnny Tightlips: Whoa, hey, who says I have a mother?

Fat Tony: Johnny Tightlips, can you see the shooter?
Johnny Tightlips: I see a lot of things.
Fat Tony: You know, you could be a little more helpful.

Mafia Guy: Johnny Tight Lips where’d they hit ya?
Johnny Tight Lips: I ain’t sayin’ nothin’.
Mafia Guy: Then what do I tell the doctor?
Johnny Tight Lips: Tell him to suck a lemon.

6/3/2010 11:27:56 AM

Quote :

"PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER"

6/23/2010 7:14:56 PM

The "Its a Wonderful Life" gag was great.

Someone go find me a quote for it.

6/23/2010 7:18:01 PM