11/28/2007 5:01:40 PM

Quote :

"I actually know a guy who used that as his strategy....he said he couldn't go, and they made him sit there and drink water until he could, but he drank so much so fast it was diluted enough for a pass....and they couldn't say anything about it being all water b/c they made him sit there and drink it."

FTW

11/29/2007 12:00:29 AM

well i'm still here. no word so far! no news is good news at this point, but not sure how long labcorp usually takes

11/29/2007 1:19:00 PM

They usually take a day in my experience

11/29/2007 1:22:15 PM

Do you know how management views drug testing?

It's a freakin' IQ test, especially the initial one that you take to get hired.
You know you've applied for a job.
You go through an interview process.
You know you're going to have to take a drug test.
Are you smart enough not to smoke up so you can get the job?

Later, it's an IQ test and an easy way to get rid of bad employees.
You know you have a good job.
There are rules to follow to keep the good job.
Are you smart enough to follow the rules?
Are you good enough at your job that we'll keep you if you fail?

11/29/2007 1:25:52 PM

its the company's way of giving you the business

11/29/2007 1:27:03 PM

Jesse, I thought you worked for your dad. He gave you a drug test.

Just drink a shit load of water; go running to burn fat cells; and unless you are old or fat 7-10 for a male in his prime should get a pass.

11/29/2007 1:29:32 PM

Quote :

"Later, it's an IQ test and an easy way to get rid of bad employees. "

or a great way to artifically make good employees seem bad.

11/29/2007 1:30:48 PM

^^damnit munster read the thread. i've already peed. i was randomly drawn and had to go yesterday morning at 9am.

I work for the same company my father does. he had nothing to do with this.

11/29/2007 1:37:13 PM

they're gonna move you to storage room B.

11/29/2007 1:40:10 PM

Quote :

"I work for the same company my father does. he had nothing to do with this."

Oh great so when you get mysteriously terminated and your father gets pissed at them this is not gonna go over well.

11/29/2007 1:41:30 PM

Quote :

"it's an IQ test"

11/29/2007 1:42:27 PM

shit man 7 pages about pee tests is to much reading for me

11/29/2007 1:44:30 PM

after reading page 1, I've come to the conclusion that 392 is a dumbass. LOL

11/29/2007 1:46:31 PM

you should just be honest

email them (so it's recorded, for legal purposes)

and simply say,

"Before you waste money on a test,

I should tell you that I use ____ a few times a year,

but always in a very responsible setting and never in a way that affects my job performance.

Is that going to be a problem?"



Unless they're a government puppet or trapped in the 1950's

they'll say, "Thanks for your honesty. No, it won't be a problem as long as it doesn't become one."

troof




^why do you say that?

11/29/2007 1:48:50 PM

^392 i dont think that would go over well in my company

Quote :

"shit man 7 pages about pee tests is to much reading for me"

only the first page was about piss testing. the rest was a huge war over pot legalization and shit like that.

11/29/2007 1:52:17 PM

I don't think they could do that. They'd lose their insurance coverage. Everyone's balls are in a vice in these situations. As pointed out above, it's a convenient excuse to get rid of employees, get rid of insurance claims, etc, etc.

11/29/2007 1:52:28 PM

send your boss this thread and i bet you wont even have to take the drug test

11/29/2007 2:06:03 PM

ha

11/29/2007 2:10:27 PM

Quote :

"you should just be honest email them (so it's recorded, for legal purposes) and simply say, "Before you waste money on a test, I should tell you that I use ____ a few times a year, but always in a very responsible setting and never in a way that affects my job performance. Is that going to be a problem?" Unless they're a government puppet or trapped in the 1950's they'll say, "Thanks for your honesty. No, it won't be a problem as long as it doesn't become one." troof"

OH. MY. GOD.

11/29/2007 2:11:20 PM

Why the fuck would you admit to doing illegal drugs to your employer? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

11/29/2007 2:13:03 PM

^^your reactions are predictable and old

you obviously don't agree with me

but your assessment of me being dumb is inaccurate

a douche? maybe

a dork? certainly

but don't make the immature mistake of generalizing as stupid those with contrary opinions to your own

11/29/2007 2:17:03 PM

I had a boss that robbed the safe at work once

then went on a week long crack binge in DC



they couldn't fire him... they had to get him drug counseling

[Edited on November 29, 2007 at 2:18 PM. Reason : n]

11/29/2007 2:18:09 PM

^^^
because honesty is the best policy

if you have to lie to your employer, you should look elsewhere for work



unless you're ok with embracing the idea of yourself as a lying criminal, that is

Quote :

"they couldn't fire him... they had to get him drug counseling"

hence the need to email your disclosure, to be able to show that they know you use



[Edited on November 29, 2007 at 2:24 PM. Reason : ]

11/29/2007 2:21:11 PM

Do you know anyone that has done this in their career and have it worked for them?

11/29/2007 2:24:28 PM

yes

11/29/2007 2:27:43 PM

Well more power to them.

11/29/2007 2:30:43 PM

while you're at it, tell the boss what kind of porn you like to whack it to, enjoy erotic-asphyxiation by hanging and always measure the load when you go #2.

there is such a thing as being too honest, you know. additionally, isnt your whole deal that 'whatever you do in your house is your business?'....why would you then take it out of your house?

i used to think that i would most likely support the legalization of weed...now i dont because i see what it does to people's brains and there rational thought.

11/29/2007 2:46:09 PM

telling the company just makes them liable... say you do tell them, then go crazy all coked up and break a bunch of shit or something like that. what can they say "oh, well, we knew he did drugs, but uhh..we didnt wanna do anything about it because he was honest?" yeah, i fucking bet that's what they'll do.

[Edited on November 29, 2007 at 2:48 PM. Reason : or better yet, hurting someone physicall makes a much better examples]

11/29/2007 2:48:31 PM

Quote :

"i used to think that i would most likely support the legalization of weed...now i dont because i see what it does to people's brains and there rational thought."

haha exactly. now you see that stoners like 392 and wd and others are clearly unable to think rationally, due to their chemical ties to "recreational drugs". weak minded individuals cannot get out from under the shroud that drugs cast upon their shriveled up little brains, and so they resort to name calling and jargon-slinging as methods of dealing with those of us who are normal

11/29/2007 2:54:43 PM

Quote :

"yes"

Must have been a pizza place.

11/29/2007 2:56:11 PM

"hey boss...man i like to get high. dude but it totally wont affect my work. i wont even munch on the toppings bro i swear"

11/29/2007 3:11:58 PM

Quote :

"i used to think that i would most likely support the legalization of weed...now i dont because i see what it does to people's brains and there rational thought."

Quote :

"there is such a thing as being too honest"

honesty is absolute, it's dishonesty that varies by degree

what you mean to say is, "there is such a thing as being not dishonest enough"

Quote :

"additionally, isnt your whole deal that 'whatever you do in your house is your business?'....why would you then take it out of your house?"

to preempt the employers testing of what you do "in your house"

Quote :

"while you're at it, tell the boss what kind of porn you like to whack it to, enjoy erotic-asphyxiation by hanging and always measure the load when you go #2."

cause the occasional line of coke or unprescribed valium are as taboo as what you described there

and besides, I would think that employers very rarely inquire about an applicants sexual habits, etc.

Quote :

"telling the company just makes them liable"

if you're really qualified and they want to hire you, they'll be willing to work with that

Quote :

"then go crazy all coked up and break a bunch of shit or something like that. what can they say?"

they'd say, "you need help" and then pay for your treatment, after which you'd return to the job

(and that's quite a stretch, remember we're assuming that the applicant is responsible....)

Quote :

"weak minded individuals cannot get out from under the shroud that drugs cast upon their shriveled up little brains, and so they resort to name calling and jargon-slinging as methods of dealing with those of us who are normal"

I challenge anyone (open-minded towards drugs,) to [re-]read the whole thread and come to that conclusion

benz420 is a fucking bigot, and that's not name calling, it's an accurate observation.



^^nope, major university

(go ahead and say, "yeah, the janitor, right? durr durr" )

[Edited on November 29, 2007 at 3:17 PM. Reason : ]

11/29/2007 3:15:50 PM

Quote :

"so, who wants to go party!"

11/29/2007 3:17:03 PM

10 PAGES!!!!!!1

11/29/2007 3:22:05 PM

Quote :

"weak minded individuals cannot get out from under the shroud that drugs cast upon their shriveled up little brains, and so they resort to name calling and jargon-slinging as methods of dealing with those of us who are normal "

Pot - kettle.

11/29/2007 3:23:41 PM

you seem to be forgetting that everything you say is null and void due to the fact that your mind is corrupted by drugs. good luck getting a job in the real world. oh and by the way, i heard doritos are on sale at harris teeter, buy one get one free - stoner's special!

11/29/2007 3:24:53 PM

Quote :

"Interests : Trolling the wolf web "

[Edited on November 29, 2007 at 3:28 PM. Reason : at least you admit it.]

11/29/2007 3:27:46 PM

Quote :

"so, who wants to go party!"

11/29/2007 3:28:34 PM

i didnt even masturbate to them

11/29/2007 3:30:27 PM

Quote :

"you seem to be forgetting that everything you say is null and void due to the fact that your mind is corrupted by drugs."

ad hominem at it's finest

Quote :

"good luck getting a job in the real world."

thanks, but I've already got one. good health insurance, good family

and I'll soon own my own business, too

Quote :

"and by the way, i heard doritos are on sale at harris teeter, buy one get one free - stoner's special!"

thanks, but I don't really enjoy doritos that much, except occasionally at a party to be polite to the host

11/29/2007 3:32:30 PM

Quote :

"WHAT YOU GOT IN YOUR BOOKBAG MAN?!? I GOTTA SEE WHATS IN THAT BAG MAAAAAAAAAN"

11/29/2007 3:33:37 PM

Quote :

"good health insurance"

IRONY AT IT'S FINEST

you do realize that health insurance companies care if you use drugs, right? and that if you are a drug user, no matter how much you might tell them you do it in moderation, etc., you will be charged a higher premium. OMG THEY'RE FUCKING 1950's PUPPETS

oh wait, you pay them a fat check every 12 months

11/29/2007 4:03:09 PM

Quote :

"you do realize that health insurance companies care if you use drugs, right? and that if you are a drug user, no matter how much you might tell them you do it in moderation, etc., you will be charged a higher premium."

WOW! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT

insurance companies are in the business of "gambling"

if they want to charge higher premiums for people who openly speed, do drugs, skydive, or other "risky" behavior

that only makes sense

it's their job to be as judgmental as one "stuck in the 1950's"

I don't see any irony there

nice try, though

11/29/2007 4:12:07 PM

^ you missed the point, stoner (as can be expected)

the analogy is that this is the same mentality that employers have - they want to minimize risk by testing their employees for substances that can affect their workplace by affecting their employees' lives. theres a lot of similarity there, if i need to spell it out for you let me know.

but if you use drugs, and have health insurance, you either are in agreement with paying a higher premium for your drug use, or you falsified information on your applications. both of which are a LOSER move

11/29/2007 4:17:43 PM

Has he been fired yet?

11/29/2007 4:19:30 PM

Ive got 392 figured out. He posts the stupidest, most non-sensical thing he can think of, gets a rise out of the person he is debating with, then posts the next stupidest thing he can come up with to further skew the argument, preventing any rationale discourse.

Folks, he is now advocating cocaine use as being no big deal and 'recreational.'

Quote :

"cause the occasional line of coke or unprescribed valium are as taboo as what you described there"

Another perfect example of why weed will never be legalized...douches like this guy will just take the next 'step' in their drug use and claim it is harmless, much like they do now with weed.

11/29/2007 4:39:33 PM

392 clearly has never worked for a big company.

11/29/2007 4:42:56 PM

392 clearly has never worked for a big company

Fixed that for you.

11/29/2007 5:02:26 PM

Quote :

"you should just be honest email them (so it's recorded, for legal purposes) and simply say, "Before you waste money on a test, I should tell you that I use ____ a few times a year, but always in a very responsible setting and never in a way that affects my job performance. Is that going to be a problem?""

wow this is some of the stupidest "advice" i've ever read on tww...and the sad thing is, i think he's dead serious

11/29/2007 5:07:05 PM