page 65!

6/9/2011 11:22:23 AM

Starting Monday, Americans will be officially outnumbered in this office by Foreigners

So much for the PATRIOT Act

6/9/2011 11:25:01 AM

i HATE when new people start doing the schedule at the restaurant.

i always get fucked over

6/13/2011 12:15:57 PM

annoying recruiters Had a guy call 2x Thursday when I was out at a field assignment, 3x on Friday when it was my day off (left 2 messages) and he called again twice this morning. I answered the 2nd time just to actually talk to him so he would stop calling.

He then tells me he got my information from LinkedIn(that's what it normally is) but then he proceeds to tell me about his contract opportunity at a site that my company is working on. He was basically trying to sell me on a contract position with the same company I have worked for the past four years (but a field assignment instead of the office for certainly less pay and benefits etc.). I wonder how closely he really looked at my LinkedIn resume... /facepalm

6/13/2011 1:54:12 PM

I hate when people ask me to "stop by" their cube when they're on the same organizational level as me. Is something wrong with your legs?

6/15/2011 12:06:35 PM

Ok, I'll be right there.

6/15/2011 12:10:15 PM

me: "how do you want the information delivered? i can do it this way or this other way. what do you want to know, the normal condition, the maximum, or both?"

him: "yeah, that sounds good."


FINE, I'LL DO IT HOWEVER I WANT. I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY BITCHING.

6/15/2011 12:14:44 PM

everything this guy I work with comes back into the office from the field he's on the phone and makes it a point to talk as loud as he can (usually on the nextel direct connect). Its like he wants to prove to everyone that he's been working the whole time he was out.

I'm getting very very annoyed by some of my coworkers lately, I need a vacation

6/17/2011 10:11:16 AM

I hate how it's always the same people that call out and are "sick"

So then the one day that I call in and say "Would you be horrible if I didn't make it to work today?" my boss says to me "Well Brian and Tiphr aren't here, so I really need you to come in"

Damn it...they aren't ever there, can we please hire people who will actually be there?

6/17/2011 10:13:59 AM

13 vacation days wasted on company mandated furloughs/shutdown. At least they give you a time window for when you can use 5 of them, the other 8 are on set, crummy days.

Also, don't have 13 days? No worries, you can borrow against future accrual.

[Edited on June 17, 2011 at 10:35 AM. Reason : -]

6/17/2011 10:33:20 AM

LOLOLOLOL at this email

Quote :

"Hey folks, Thanks to my brilliant nephew, I was able to establish a forum for us to use if you want to have another way to stay connected and share information about the half marathon. To join the forum, go to this site:-------------and select register. Setup an account for yourself and then start any conversation you’d like. I have already joined and it feels pretty intuitive to me. After you register, the home page will be the place to go and to start a new conversation, (called a thread) click on the General Board and the new thread icon is in the upper right corner. "

I don't know why that made me laff out loud

6/21/2011 3:38:37 PM

wtf? someone just did the walkin/walkout on me in the bathroom. buncha damn weirdos.

6/24/2011 12:25:43 PM

They wanted to take a shit and noticed someone was in the bathroom.

6/24/2011 12:26:33 PM

so someone decided it would be a good idea to schedule a 401k conference call at 2pm on Friday. Two of the Eight employees in this office are on vacation today, two or three others will be in the field and not attending, one other guy isnt eligible for the 401k program. That leaves me and one other guy, and I've already worked my 40 hours this week so I'm peacing out in the next 30 minutes and starting my 4 day vacation a little early.

I sure hope the one guy actually in the conference call takes good notes

6/24/2011 12:32:26 PM

97.5 all day long... just loud enough for me to hear kelly rowland and lil' wayne 15 times a day

6/24/2011 1:32:59 PM

UGH

Coworker with the needy daughter is on the phone trying to talk her through how to show her insurance card at the doctor's office. "Now I can fax it if that would make things easier for you"

Seriously she's like 23 years old....it can't be that hard?

6/28/2011 10:57:24 AM

Apple

6/28/2011 12:45:48 PM

lol bmel

6/28/2011 12:46:29 PM

*this is more of a legal question about a workplace situation, plz2help*

Long story short-

Former employee/coworker left with a rather large outstanding balance. Is there some official grace period for repayment that should be allowed or is this just considered theft from the moment he took off (even though employer allows for outstanding balance to be carried while employed)?

I understand that allowing employees to owe on their account might not be the best idea, but besides that is there some commonly accepted time frame for such an issue?

7/2/2011 12:04:21 AM

Further details needed.

7/2/2011 12:15:05 AM

I'd think it would be theft. I mean, I get to use a laptop every day and take it home but I couldn't just keep the damn thing if I quit my job.

7/2/2011 3:05:18 PM

Outstanding balance on what? Seems like a bad policy, whatever it is.

My guess is that it would be treated as a debt they owe the company.

7/2/2011 3:24:08 PM

Our business has a sales/retail side and a service side.

Former employee worked for service dept.

Service dept employees can purchase items through our vendors on credit through the business. (yes, this obviously bit us in the ass in this case)

Until this incident, all employee accounts were understood to be on good faith and had been paid off in a somewhat timely manner. As long as the accounts are paid down with some regularity, accounting kinda turned a blind eye.

(Add to this that the owner is VERY anti-confrontational and *Im assuming* that he figured it would be paid like anyone else's)

Former employee left without mentioning the account or his plans to repay the amount. (by the way, we're talking about just a hair over $6k.)

What kind of time frame should be allowed for this to be corrected? Is there an accepted time period by law...a grace period perhaps?

BTW, this is not my company, I am only an employee. I do not set policy. I do not have any stake in the matter. Just wondering what kinda options my employer might be able to consider.

7/3/2011 8:05:56 PM

People who have slept their way up the ladder and have no background, degree, education, credentials or experience in the industry.... but apparently the ability to suck chrome off a bumper makes you qualified!

7/3/2011 8:23:22 PM

Quote :

"What kind of time frame should be allowed for this to be corrected? Is there an accepted time period by law...a grace period perhaps? "

No clue, but I think with a 401K loan you have 60 days to repay after you leave your job.

7/4/2011 2:17:27 AM

fucker officemate has the AC on so full blast that it is blowing papers off my desk that are not under something heavy....

7/5/2011 4:06:57 PM

They are mopping the hallway outside my office at 8:45 AM. Not only does it make the floor slippery, but the squeaky noises that people's shoes make as they walk across the wet area is driving me crazy.

Wouldn't it be a better idea to do things like that outside of normal working hours? The entire facilities housekeeping team does not leave at 5 PM.

7/11/2011 9:08:03 AM

VPN Client wont connect this morning..



THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT HAVING A RALEIGH SERVER SINCE THE CHARLOTTE ONE IS "close enough"....

I can't do shit today !!!

7/11/2011 10:47:24 AM

see, i fucking hate that. my job relies on entirely too many people to get any of my fucking projects done on time.

its like all i do is email and bitch on the phone about "when are you sending me this?"

then once i get everything assembled my work is over in like 5 fucking seconds.

this is my day job.

and then an evening of teaching night classes? gotta be fucking kidding me.

also, sitting down at a coworkers computer to fix something. the looks on their faces when i do ctrl+c then ctrl+v absolutely makes me understand workplace shootings. it was their ancestors who truly believed in magic.

7/11/2011 11:00:47 AM

There's an African guy in my dept. that wears way too much cologne. Just now I counted 10 sprays

7/15/2011 5:47:31 PM

Oh ho ho I got a good one

When people come into your office, cube, or whatever...your workspace. And they want to talk beyond a passing greeting. So instead of just standing there or sitting in a chair, they plant their fat ass on the corner of your desk in a disgusting sit/squat hybrid that looks like they're playing strong safety. Now I have to look up at you and pretend to care about your banal trivialities until you lose interest and go bother someone else, leaving a smear of residue and contempt in your wake. If you've got something to say, say it and leave. If you want to talk, pull up a chair and engage me. But don't sit on my desk. I don't think that's too much too ask. And I tell that to people's face here except for the three big bosses, who, unfortunately, are the guilty party about ninety percent of the time.

7/25/2011 9:27:19 PM

you should superglue a thumbtack poking up on your desk corner, then if they try to slide it out of the way, theyll get the idea ... if they dont slide it, then hilarity

7/25/2011 9:29:01 PM

I'm afraid they'd just avoid the tack and sit closer to me. Unless I lined the whole desk with tacks...

7/25/2011 9:31:03 PM

HEY MAN IS THAT A REAL APPLE ON YOUR DESK RIGHT BESIDE YOUR LUNCH BOX? IT LOOKS FAKE.

[Edited on July 28, 2011 at 12:14 PM. Reason : E]

7/28/2011 12:13:37 PM

Passive aggressiveness ITT

I usually resolve interpersonal work issues by inviting people to parties at the incorrect start time.

7/28/2011 12:25:07 PM

Someone in my office is currently watching Kill Bill in their office. I wouldn't care except the whistling scene keeps distracting me

7/28/2011 3:52:08 PM

Quote :

"the looks on their faces when i do ctrl+c then ctrl+v absolutely makes me understand workplace shootings."

Quote :

"you should superglue a thumbtack poking up on your desk corner"

lol x 2

7/28/2011 4:16:43 PM

Quote :

"If you want to talk, pull up a chair and engage me. But don't sit on my desk."

this makes me glad that i have a glass top desk

on topic: when people refuse to have their cell phone on vibrate, and then refuse to answer it when its ringing

7/28/2011 4:33:37 PM

Having to telemarket all day long...

7/28/2011 5:33:25 PM

It's freezing in my office right now I need to remember to bring a cardigan in here.

8/1/2011 9:16:12 AM

So this lady ordered from our online spices and herbs company last week

We filled her order and sent her her tracking number

She emails yesterday and asks when will she receive her order. We reply with her tracking number. She responds with "I don't care what that website says. I want to know when I'm going to be receiving my order from you! Not them."

wtf.

[Edited on August 1, 2011 at 12:08 PM. Reason : f]

8/1/2011 12:08:41 PM

haha just quote her the time on the tracking number

8/1/2011 12:10:24 PM

I didn't send this, but felt like sharing. This was sent out as a mass email to everyone today.

Quote :

"Dear White Toyota Prius: We could all "COEXIST" in a more constructive, civilized fashion if each of us exhibited a little consideration and PARKED WITHIN THE LINES. I do feel better now and will feel much better after I get some caffeine in my system. Forgive me if I offended any of my co-workers."

8/4/2011 9:01:37 AM

my client is so so dumb. what part of "you fill out this spreadsheet in excel and then i take the data you updated and copy/paste it into a pretty power point slide deck" do you not understand? it's the SAME information! i promise you i didn't change it or make it up or throw you for a loop.

8/4/2011 9:22:50 AM

lol

8/4/2011 9:22:57 AM

Break room conversation wranglers!

The people who love to draw you into a 10 minute conversation about their kids, their vacation, or some other mundane bullshit everytime they see you.

And its either listen to their spiel or act like a total dick and try to avoid them.

8/4/2011 9:40:11 AM

the elusive candy jar......

the people who sit around me each have one and all day i hear *rumble rumble rumble* *chomp chomp chomp*

8/4/2011 9:44:30 AM

really REALLY wish there were some consistencies with this fucking system. either i need a form or i don't need a form. PICK ONE

8/4/2011 9:52:03 AM

I really get annoyed with other engineers who try and do everything with "rules of thumb" or try and use shortcuts. They work well for estimating/preliminary phases of jobs or really simple commercial stuff, but you shouldn't be using them during the detail phase of a job

Unfortunately it seems like it is becoming more common with engineers, especially among younger engineers, to want to just factor and estimate their way to numbers and all it does it create problems and rework down the road. Not to mention totally unoptimized systems. I like to call them "Spreadsheet Engineers" because they are the kind of engineers who, whenever they have something new to design, are always just bugging everyone else for a magic spreadsheet to calculate it for them.

On that same note, I got paired up with another engineer to put together a training session as part of our Lunch & Learns continuing education program. Everything we are working on he just keeps bringing these estimate type solutions to the table. "Nah, we don't need to discuss all that, I have a rule of thumb that we can put on the slide for it instead..." /facepalm

[Edited on August 4, 2011 at 10:35 AM. Reason : ]

8/4/2011 10:28:48 AM

set up my tv

8/4/2011 2:51:10 PM