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 Message Boards » » Really Disappointing Sexual Encounters Page 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 9 10, Prev Next  
WillemJoel
All American
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jackhammering is bad?

8/10/2010 12:42:45 AM

m52ncsu
Suspended
1606 Posts
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that was my signature move

8/10/2010 12:43:23 AM

Snewf
All American
63368 Posts
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ah well bad technique is one thing

if they're gonna fuck like they're digging a ditch they should at least give good head, amirite?

8/10/2010 12:43:35 AM

LivinProof78
All American
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^^^i used to have one little guy...he was real young...and he would do this relentlessly...

it was terrible...

but he was really cute

[Edited on August 10, 2010 at 12:44 AM. Reason : ^if you're good at that then i don't care how good you are at anything else ]

8/10/2010 12:43:40 AM

WillemJoel
All American
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I often fuck like I'm digging a grave.

Is that so bad?

^FTR, she's not talking about me.

[Edited on August 10, 2010 at 12:44 AM. Reason : dfsdaa]

8/10/2010 12:44:10 AM

Snewf
All American
63368 Posts
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you should have told me I was doing it wrong

8/10/2010 12:44:14 AM

LivinProof78
All American
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i'm not trying to say i'm awesome in bed...

i'm pretty sure i'm at the top of a few really disappointing encounters lists...

but damn...there are some things that even i know are awful

8/10/2010 12:46:56 AM

Snewf
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I'm going to say that coitus interruptus makes for a pretty disappointing sexual encounter all of the time

the only thing worse is THE FEAR from not pulling out
I hate it when I get THE FEAR

8/10/2010 12:48:42 AM

LivinProof78
All American
49373 Posts
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we're all good as long as it doesn't go up my nose or in my eye...

that shit burns

8/10/2010 12:49:46 AM

WillemJoel
All American
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I'll tell you what

I'm bustin off some of the stinkinest farts of my life right now

8/10/2010 12:51:55 AM

Kiwi
All American
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The ones that go on all night are usually drunk (but not suffering from whiskey dick). The problem with them is I already got mine and now you're just beating her raw and without much accuracy. This is when I say come or get off the pot. I only want to have trouble walking if I were just as drunk as he was.

I'd say 15-30 mins is a good time period for pounding it out.

[Edited on August 10, 2010 at 12:55 AM. Reason : j]

8/10/2010 12:54:17 AM

Snewf
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do all the dudes insist on getting off or is it okay to call it a draw at some point?

personally if I feel that the situation is not progressing I'm totally okay filing it away for morning
but you better believe that shit is getting messed up in the early AM

8/10/2010 12:58:57 AM

Kiwi
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Depends on how drunk they are. I've totally had some willing to wait until a better time in which case I am more than happy to wake them up with a beej.

8/10/2010 1:00:17 AM

LivinProof78
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i'm a huge fan of early AM

but sometimes i'm unsure as to whether it's just morning wood or sexually acceptable wood...and if the dude will get upset if i make the wrong call



i REALLY like it when i'm woken up from a dead sleep though....it gets a little crazy then...and i'm back to sleep before i even wake up completely

[Edited on August 10, 2010 at 1:02 AM. Reason : sdfds]

8/10/2010 1:00:52 AM

m52ncsu
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Quote :
"do all the dudes insist on getting off or is it okay to call it a draw at some point?"


with regards to stuff like this:

Quote :
"it's a completely different story if they can go...get off...go again...get off again...and then go again...
"


after the third or fourth time sometimes its hard to finish up and i'm ok with tabling it till the morning if she's had hers and its getting boring

8/10/2010 1:01:59 AM

goalielax
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i've had to call it a draw twice in my life - but both times it was the first time with them. i think i psyched myself out or something

8/10/2010 1:02:33 AM

m52ncsu
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Quote :
"i'm a huge fan of early AM

but sometimes i'm unsure as to whether it's just morning wood or sexually acceptable wood...and if the dude will get upset if i make the wrong call"

one will turn into the other, don't worry about trying to tell the difference

8/10/2010 1:02:53 AM

Snewf
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Quote :
"but sometimes i'm unsure as to whether it's just morning wood or sexually acceptable wood...and if the dude will get upset if i make the wrong call "


that is a totally ludicrous fear!

like my new fear that my penis is hanging out the front of my pants (I do check a lot now)

the only WRONG CALL with morning wood would be to ignore it - or to yell at the dude for having it

8/10/2010 1:04:00 AM

LivinProof78
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i don't mind spooning and getting poked in the back...

then i know the deal

8/10/2010 1:04:54 AM

Kiwi
All American
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Dump that bitch immediately if she yells at you for having a boner. Ever.

It's like a calling card for fun times.

Women are stupid!

8/10/2010 1:07:28 AM

goalielax
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Quote :
"it's a completely different story if they can go...get off...go again...get off "


and that's best when you get to stay inside until the go again moment comes back

8/10/2010 1:07:51 AM

m52ncsu
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heres a question; when with a new girl the next morning and you notice that the morning wood has found the hole in the boxers (if you're wearing them), do you tuck it in or let it ride?

i say let it ride, i want to see the reaction

8/10/2010 1:07:58 AM

Snewf
All American
63368 Posts
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how do you ladies feel about calendar based methods of contraception?

8/10/2010 1:08:38 AM

Kiwi
All American
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Let it ride, if you were good she'll fuck you again. If she doesn't, well you have your answer.

8/10/2010 1:09:00 AM

stixman
All American
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Quote :
"i REALLY like it when i'm woken up from a dead sleep though....it gets a little crazy then...and i'm back to sleep before i even wake up completely"


the best kind of sex...

8/10/2010 2:53:10 AM

BIGcementpon
Status Name
11318 Posts
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Quote :
"heres a question; when with a new girl the next morning and you notice that the morning wood has found the hole in the boxers (if you're wearing them), do you tuck it in or let it ride?

i say let it ride, i want to see the reaction"

I always let it ride

8/10/2010 4:34:54 AM

McDanger
All American
18835 Posts
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Quote :
"question for the ladies, have yall ran into more one minute men in your lives or more hard pipe hitters who can last all night?"


holy fuck i haven't laughed this hard in a long time

8/10/2010 5:00:14 AM

McDanger
All American
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"hard pipe hitters"

this shit is killing me

8/10/2010 5:00:50 AM

McDanger
All American
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Quote :
"^^ dating a girl who went to Meredith, definitely not any disappointing sexual encounters"


"Yo, babe? Yo? Hello? Yeah. It's brentroad dot com. B ... R ..."

8/10/2010 5:02:17 AM

Fermat
All American
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how the fuck rjrgrl hasn't posted in here yet i'll never know

8/10/2010 5:34:56 AM

McDanger
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It's pretty disappointing when you mix up your pussy vocabulary, accidentally pulling out some shit that worked on an ex. It's remarkable how much a move can differ in response; what will make one woman cum will make another woman think you're a fucking idiot. How many styles are we supposed to master, ladies? This ain't starbucks, let's keep the pussy-licking preferences limited to six principle components please.

I mean, whoops. It moved sideways. Okay, I recall you don't like that on my own, please don't mention it to me in that bitchy vo-- YOU'RE MENTIONING IT TO ME IN THAT BITCHY VOICE

Oh yeah and I'm posting 4 times in a row because this thread is off the chart and i'm shootin my poast guns

EDIT: COMBO BREAKER

[Edited on August 10, 2010 at 5:37 AM. Reason : FUCK]

8/10/2010 5:37:08 AM

Fermat
All American
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i still love you, brah (absolutely YES homo)

8/10/2010 5:53:46 AM

Jeepin4x4
#Pack9
35774 Posts
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Quote :
"^^^i used to have one little guy...he was real young...and he would do this relentlessly..."



i'm telling brewbaker you are talking about him ITT



Quote :
"heres a question; when with a new girl the next morning and you notice that the morning wood has found the hole in the boxers (if you're wearing them), do you tuck it in or let it ride?

i say let it ride, i want to see the reaction"


i agree, i let it ride. a girl should always take a hard-on as a compliment, yet i've ran into a couple that weren't too fond of getting jabbed in the back and that was an issue.

8/10/2010 8:02:43 AM

LivinProof78
All American
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HAHAHAHAHHAHAH


i hate you so much

8/10/2010 8:13:37 AM

ncstatetke
All American
41128 Posts
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i'm so out of the loop! you let Brew hit it?

i'm gonna go post on his FB wall

8/10/2010 8:23:09 AM

LivinProof78
All American
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i have NEVER done it with a TKE!

8/10/2010 8:25:46 AM

ncstatetke
All American
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the night is young!

speaking of which, you going to trivia tonight?

8/10/2010 8:29:00 AM

LivinProof78
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of course

8/10/2010 8:29:53 AM

Jeepin4x4
#Pack9
35774 Posts
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Quote :
"i have NEVER done it with a TKE!"


i hear your twang so clearly in this statement

8/10/2010 8:32:38 AM

LivinProof78
All American
49373 Posts
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now it'll be in your head for the rest of the day

8/10/2010 8:36:00 AM

Str8BacardiL
************
41753 Posts
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Quote :
"I'm going to say that coitus interruptus makes for a pretty disappointing sexual encounter all of the time

the only thing worse is THE FEAR from not pulling out
I hate it when I get THE FEAR"

8/10/2010 8:55:46 AM

zxappeal
All American
26824 Posts
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Quote :
"heres a question; when with a new girl the next morning and you notice that the morning wood has found the hole in the boxers (if you're wearing them), do you tuck it in or let it ride?

i say let it ride, i want to see the reaction"


Who in the hell wears boxers to bed with a new girl?

With the new one now, I play big spoon and snuggle up from behind, doze off. But it's just a matter of time before we're both grindin' on each other in our morning daze, and then it's on like Donkey Kong.

8/10/2010 9:41:30 AM

mildew
Drunk yet Orderly
14177 Posts
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^ this

8/10/2010 9:44:20 AM

Jeepin4x4
#Pack9
35774 Posts
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how many of you have ever felt truely used?

8/10/2010 10:09:09 AM

Fareako
Shitter Pilot
10238 Posts
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*raises hand*

[Edited on August 10, 2010 at 10:10 AM. Reason : but it was awesome]

8/10/2010 10:10:05 AM

pilgrimshoes
Suspended
63151 Posts
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yeah me too

then a while later you're like, well at least i got some sex

8/10/2010 10:10:41 AM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
34079 Posts
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Being used is cool

Removes any emotions from the relationship, which is always a plus

8/10/2010 10:12:04 AM

LivinProof78
All American
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this really has nothing to do with this thread...but i just remembered this little gem while having a conversation on gchat...

Quote :
"my brother once told me that if i won't at least suck a dick by the third date then i'd never have a bf"

8/10/2010 10:17:19 AM

Jeepin4x4
#Pack9
35774 Posts
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i always feel used/dirty for about 15 minutes when i find out the girl has a boyfriend, but that quickly fades

i mean, hey you didn't bring it up when i was beating it out the frame on the balcony so obviously it wasn't a big deal

8/10/2010 10:23:02 AM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
34079 Posts
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Balcony sex > 20 floors up is one of life's true pleasures

8/10/2010 10:24:52 AM

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