this is just a disaster waiting to happen on so many levels

[Edited on July 17, 2008 at 12:32 PM. Reason : hmmmm appropriate starter for page 5?]

7/17/2008 12:32:25 PM

Look, I apologize for all the things I've said in this thread, I've let the mass negativity get to me and said some things I shouldn't. You may all have your opinions and that's cool but the collective of tdub has no idea what my life is like so keep your judgments to yourself.

Ryan is a good person, just not for me. I love his family more than I ever loved him and that's saying a lot, please do not let my angry words turn on his family for that won't be true.

If anyone would like to give me advice that would be helpful please send me a PM as this will be a difficult scary time and any knowledge from firsthand people would be greatly appreciated, otherwise continue to spew your poison into this thread.

Thanks

7/17/2008 1:08:39 PM

Quote :

"You may all have your opinions and that's cool but the collective of tdub has no idea what my life is like so keep your judgments to yourself."

Actually...we usually do...because you tell everyone in threads like these...

7/17/2008 1:10:00 PM

You only know what I decide to tell you, which is not everything and usually comes out in a burst of hatred or stupidity. Rarely do I say anything worthwhile on this forum and I do so by choice.

7/17/2008 1:11:53 PM

Quote :

"Rarely do I say anything worthwhile on this forum"

the truth

7/17/2008 1:41:15 PM

i feel bad for this kid/fetus

7/17/2008 5:37:20 PM

i'm not trying to be a bitch, i've just had family in this type of situation, and it ended badly....custody battles, long times in court, etc etc....

for your sake, i hope that doesn't happen to you. just being realistic.

7/17/2008 5:50:11 PM

he's a good person with a great family




so.... you passed up what almost every non-whore girl wants in a man, and then got preggers.


wow.


well, good luck from here on out. really, i hope this pregnancy facilitates personal growth, and that you're able to give the child a good, loving home.

7/17/2008 5:54:13 PM

a good, loving Jew-free home.

7/17/2008 6:15:33 PM

Quote :

"a good, loving Jew-free home"

Quote :

"Stein"

7/17/2008 6:18:12 PM

Quote :

"Most selfish person I've ever met when it comes to finances and you won't really know the entire story til you heard it from both sides. "

uh, since you weren't married he should be selfish with his finances. maybe in serious long term relationship you might share funds (which you probably have a different understanding than what i mean. im talking years, not days or weeks) but why would he be expected to pay for your shit? that he helped out on some occasions shows that he is a decent guy, but i guess you felt entitled to more or something.

7/17/2008 6:30:46 PM

she probably though her snatch was worth something


silly women

7/17/2008 7:05:13 PM

Quote :

"haha listen the only thing the jew would ever do for me was cover a few bills from time to time, certainly wasn't good in bed, company, or any other factor. Most selfish person I've ever met when it comes to finances and you won't really know the entire story til you heard it from both sides. SO Thanks for the concern on my finances but I'm doing well, awesome actually. Thanks for the concern on if I carelessly let a baby come about, birth control was taken at 8am everyday since I was 20. Thanks for being a typical cunt and have a nice day!"

Wow. It seems like just yesterday when you were gushing on tww about wanting to marry this dude. It seems pretty non-Jewish to me how he let you stay with him EVEN AFTER YOU WERE BROKEN UP because you had blown all your money. He sounds awful! Good thing for him that Jews are stingy with their sperm!

7/17/2008 7:05:42 PM

Quote :

"but in all seriousness expecting your bf to cover your bills and then complaining that he only did it a few times pretty much makes you a horrible human being"

7/17/2008 7:13:03 PM

oh, and I just read that other thread where you were bashing silchairsm for being a hairdresser.


AREN'T YOU A DOG GROOMER?? That's a step down from a hairdresser.

7/17/2008 7:18:21 PM

Kiwi, I'm not trying to be a dick. But I'm almost 100% sure you are not ready for this child. How in the world are you going to provide for your child when you can barely (if you can at all) support yourself? Even on a maturity level, I can't fathom you being capable of handling this.

Please don't screw up this kid's life.

Just wow.
wow.

7/17/2008 7:26:07 PM

I'm usually pro-life, but I think I can make an exception in this case.

7/17/2008 7:55:01 PM

maybe nature will sort it out, the whole 30% miscarriage thing

sometimes kids make people grow up fast, maybe the kid will turn her life around and she'll become a model citizen

7/17/2008 8:25:32 PM

I can pretty much guarantee you that won't happen. The kid will end up in foster care because there isn't a chance in hell she will be able to manage the responsibility.

7/17/2008 8:44:12 PM

Quote :

"kids make people grow up fast"

Truth.

My son changed our entire world.

A kid can also make a good relationship even better and a bad one worse.

7/17/2008 8:45:40 PM

^^you usually have to fuck it away pretty severely before that happens.

[Edited on July 17, 2008 at 8:46 PM. Reason : ^true]

7/17/2008 8:46:02 PM

Children are huge responsibilities. Every day at work I see the difference in parenting just in the children. I could probably be 85% accurate on describing a child's home life just from the way the child acts away from home. Kiwi, I don't know you personally, nor do I know both sides to any stories going on. All I ask is please love your child and punish your child. That is the only way a child will turn out to be a responsible adult. You must love and punish.

When I say punish I don't mean send them to their room where they get to watch tv and play video games I mean make them write sentences, take away their tv and ps2, don't let them make that phone call, ground them and actually stick to the grounding. SPANK YOUR KID.

[Edited on July 17, 2008 at 9:22 PM. Reason : ]

7/17/2008 9:22:19 PM

"have you ever tried sitting down with your children, turning off the tv, and hitting them"

-bender

7/17/2008 9:30:33 PM

I am going to come out and say it because I feel quite strongly about this:

If you start out with your kids in the right way, you really should never have to hit them.

And honestly, everything that you think you know about how to raise a kid will fly out the window when you have one of your own. Kiwi you will hear more about how you should raise your child than you ever thought possible over the next nine months. I wouldn't listen to a damned word.

[Edited on July 17, 2008 at 9:35 PM. Reason : .]

7/17/2008 9:34:26 PM

spanking =/= hitting

imo

7/17/2008 9:35:12 PM

semantics



But man o man, do I know how you feel. I have watched some BAD children who were the products of bad parenting. And indulgent parenting can be bad parenting.

7/17/2008 9:37:47 PM

I mean I know obviously since I have no children of my own I can never tell someone how to raise a child. But being in charge of 20 kids a day for 10 hours, I feel as if I can offer some advice as to what I have seen work and what I have seen not work.

I think the biggest thing that parents forget when raising a child is you're not just raising them to act right in your house and to your standards, you're raising them to act right in society's standards.

[Edited on July 17, 2008 at 9:41 PM. Reason : ]

7/17/2008 9:39:56 PM

I think I'll be a good parent, I practically raised my sister and she turned out awesome. I just want the kid to have a better life than I did, make better decisions, go farther, experience life, and have good core values.

IT'll be interesting but yeah I'm not afraid of punishment just keeping my temper when the thing screams for hours, hopefully if I start out on the right foot I won't have those vicious battles you see on Supernanny.

I think I'll freak about having a crying baby all the time, please tell me that doesn't last long...

7/17/2008 9:40:51 PM

the THING

7/17/2008 9:41:47 PM

Quote :

"the thing"

good start

7/17/2008 9:42:16 PM

Quote :

"I think"

you think you'll be a good parent?

7/17/2008 9:42:32 PM

Quote :

" think I'll freak about having a crying baby all the time, please tell me that doesn't last long... "

It all depends on the baby. Their personality. And if their needs are being taken care of.

[Edited on July 17, 2008 at 9:43 PM. Reason : ]

7/17/2008 9:42:34 PM

7/17/2008 9:42:58 PM

Quote :

"please tell me that doesn't last long..."

depends on if its cholicy

7/17/2008 9:45:01 PM

aha it's a thing til I discover the sex

When I say "I think" I mean I have faith I will be but don't really know the set rules on awesome parenting.

7/17/2008 9:45:32 PM

Quote :

"I think I'll freak about having a crying baby all the time, please tell me that doesn't last long..."

sorry but that's not exactly predictable, it's all gonna depend on your child. educate yourself as much as possible on how to be a good parent, do a ton of research, talk to your doc... these things can help ya relieve some anxiety

7/17/2008 9:50:33 PM

I plan on it, dr.s apt tomorrow so yeah. Just grabbing information from all resources....

7/17/2008 9:52:45 PM

good luck

7/17/2008 9:56:05 PM

Quote :

"If you start out with your kids in the right way, you really should never have to hit them. "

I have spanked my daughter, but it's not a common occurance. I think it absolutely serves some utility and should be used if you need it, but you being angry/irritated/upset/whatever should never be a factor, and you shouldn't do it on a regular basis. I've only done it when I really needed to make an impression--like if she was about to do something that could hurt her, or once (or maybe twice, I don't remember) when she was really acting up and wouldn't respond to anything else--and even then, my "spanking" is popping her across the back of the hand with 2 of my fingers. I doubt it really even hurts--it's just enough to get her attention if I have to.

You can't just be your kid's buddy, but neither do you want to be a drill instructor/slavemaster. My daughter listens to me better than anyone else, I think, mostly because I have so much patience with her. I make her behave, but I don't jump her shit every time she simply acts like a toddler. The payoff is that when I do have to use the serious tone/raise my voice/spank her, it gets her attention.

Quote :

"think I'll freak about having a crying baby all the time"

Look, there is NOTHING a baby can do that should be able to cause you to lose your patience. If a baby or toddler causes you to lose your patience, that is YOUR failure, not the child's. Yes, it sucks when the baby screams for a half hour while you hold her or rock her at 4am...after you were just up at 2-3am. Yes, it sucks when they get into everything and make a mess or whatever. I don't like getting puked on any more than the next guy. Whatever. I'll say it again--a baby or toddler is incapable of doing anything that legitimately gives you reason to be exasperated or lose your temper.

[Edited on July 17, 2008 at 10:00 PM. Reason : asdfasd]

7/17/2008 9:56:51 PM

.....my toddler stabbed me once, sold crack to Dave Chapelle, then proceeded to talk shit about my wife

7/17/2008 9:59:17 PM

Of course not but when my sister was a baby I would cry if I couldn't get her to be quiet. It upset me to know there was nothing I could do but she was so upset. I think I'll be good at laying down the law but I have to get past the infant part first, I have no idea what to do there....the loss of sleep, the crying, hopefully there are more cheery times than these times...

7/17/2008 9:59:38 PM

you were a fucking nanny to your sister.


you seriously cant possibly think that all to raising a child is by taking care of her for a few hours a day.


are you that retarded ? do you not realize the financial burden a child is ? do you not realize that after child birth you, especially you, will risk going into a post partum (sp ? ) depression. do you not realize that the the family the child is entering is seriously fucked up ? do you not realize how fucking crazy and stupid you are in general.... making horrible life decisions... being a stupid dumb bitch who expects everything to be given to her ( you expecting your ex to pay for YOUR fucking bills )


jesus christ, i really do hope you give this kid up for adoption so that he'll be raised in a better environment and not have to worry about living in a box because of your stupidity

7/17/2008 10:05:13 PM

words

7/17/2008 10:11:17 PM

^^ and i thought i was being harsh....

7/17/2008 10:16:19 PM

You guys need to give her a break...that being said Kiwi should have known better than posting this on tww.

7/17/2008 10:18:18 PM

Quote :

"I practically raised my sister and she turned out awesome. "

...Because you are such an good judge of what constitutes 'awesome'

Quote :

"And indulgent parenting can be bad parenting."

Can be?

Quote :

"if I start out on the right foot I won't have those vicious battles you see on Supernanny."

Quote :

"I have spanked my daughter, but it's not a common occurance. I think it absolutely serves some utility and should be used if you need it, but you being angry/irritated/upset/whatever should never be a factor, and you shouldn't do it on a regular basis."

Absolutely.

Overuse it, and you can end up with a kid who literally sticks their tongue out at you and says 'bring it!' when you spank them. I did
Then again, my dad beat me til I was black and blue from my lower back to mid-thigh one time for lying about spraying air freshener. The reason I lied? I didn't want to be spanked for spraying air freshener Don't overuse spanking

Quote :

"it's just enough to get her attention if I have to."

This mostly what it's for. I'm not afraid to use spanking as a punishment, though - once the kids are older enough to connect a slightly delayed punishment to a previous infraction.

Quote :

"^^ and i thought i was being harsh...."

But he's right.

These girls are the type of adolescent I could see karen's kid becoming.

Parenting isn't just the business of popping them out, feeding and clothing them, and getting them to the point they can put a roof over their heads as adults. It's involved as all hell - it has to be, to teach a person why one should always do what's right, even when one can get away with doing the wrong thing. And there's no prescribed formula for doing the job right. She can't even manage to break up with a boyfriend amicably, her finances, or being a relatively sane adult. She has no business raising a kid.

People say a kid makes you mature. Great. So instead of a 16-year-old mentality, she'll get up to a 20-year-old's mentality, when you need to be somewhere in the late 20s. And that's just the maturity - Kids definitely don't make all parents more responsible. She's got a loooooooooong ways to go in that regard, and you can only play catch-up so fast.


--
Why should we give her a break? Seriously - what's a reason to do so?

[Edited on July 17, 2008 at 10:34 PM. Reason : askljd]

7/17/2008 10:33:50 PM

i don't know why i loled about the air freshener. i mean its totally not funny, but it is funny to me because my mom did the same kind of things. she still does the same things. i get yelled at now if i overuse air freshener. i mean its like the ridiculousness of it that makes it funny to me. only because i feel your pain

and i too was one of those children that said "bring it" with the spankings. OR threw things back at them. i agree with theduke saying that YOUR emotions as a parent shouldn't have a bearing on whether or not a child gets a spanking. don't spank just cause your mad. that is what my mom did. or dug her nails into my arm until i had blue nail bruises. ambrosia's post pretty much sums it up.

7/17/2008 10:39:05 PM

aha, I bet YanTheManV is laughing his cock off right now.


hell, I chuckle a little bit whenever I hear about one of my exes slipping on wet pavement
I can only imagine what YanTheManV is doing....

7/17/2008 10:41:08 PM

Oh, it wasn't overusing it.

My dad hates fragrance of any kind. He smelled it at the other end of the house after a minute or two, and came barreling down the hall into the bathroom yelling at my.

It was, quite literally, just a little spritz so I could see what it smelled like.

For a while, my dad really was the worst offender of the two when it came to hitting me (me, because my sister was so young then) out of frustration.

"Dad, here's a book of yours? Where do you want me to put it?"
*yanks it from my hand, and hits me on the head with it*

My mom would always count to ten before hitting me. Sometimes, I could see the decision to not hit me occur.

I only ever tried to do anything physical back to my mother once
We were in the car, I was being a brat, and she reached back to swat my leg (which still somehow hurt WTF). I reached out and pinched her. I had no idea she could hurt my leg even harder

I was always scared of dad, so I didn't do anything


^he's going :whew:

7/17/2008 10:43:25 PM

Shut the fuck up Christine, you have no idea about me so stop acting like you do, one side of the story aint shit. Unless you have anything useful to say go practice making your boyfriend last a little longer in bed ugly ass ho!

7/17/2008 10:46:08 PM