5

7/16/2007 7:10:39 PM

Wow those laws are discriminatory and antiquated, just like the various useless sex laws.

7/16/2007 8:32:22 PM

Quote :

"California is one of 44 states with unequal name change laws for people getting married. Right now, only six states -- Georgia, Hawaii, Iowa, Massachusetts, New York and North Dakota -- explicitly allow a man to change his name through marriage with the same ease as a woman can."

im surprised to see georgia in that list that allows the man to change his name

7/16/2007 8:37:41 PM

I got married less than a month ago.

I was at the courthouse today changing my name and then the social security office and every form i filled out you had to check male or female and could pick any name you wanted. you could change first, middle & last if you wanted. the forms made it seem like there wasn't a difference if you were male or female... and everything was free except you had to have a copy of the marriage license to get a new social security card, which was $10 at the register of deeds office

7/16/2007 10:02:06 PM

men cant just fill out a form, they have to petition the court and go in front of the judge

which is good, because they shouldnt be caving to some self-righteous feminist

7/17/2007 6:18:11 AM

^^maybe the paperwork is the same but but if you had selected male, at the end it would have required more of a "process"...otherwise, maybe NC has changed it's law, but I haven't looked it up. The way the paperwork sounds is it's just a changing name form....and with your copy of your marriage licence, you could do everything for free. Did you need your marriage licence for anything other than the social security card? I don't know, I could be wrong.

7/17/2007 8:00:23 AM

I'm pretty sure once i get my new social, I won't need any more registered copies of the marriage license to change anything else.

With the new social security card, you can get a new drivers license & with those two, you can change everything else...bank accounts, credit cards, employer records, etc., but I got 3 registered copies of the license just in case b/c I get em for free

7/17/2007 9:23:46 AM

^FYI, if you have a paypal account, you'll need a copy of your marriage license to change your name with them. I had to do that a little over a year ago after I got married.

7/17/2007 3:22:35 PM

Also, whoever said: "All you maiden-name-dropping bitches are so fucking transparent. "Oh, I'm dropping my maiden name and keeping my middle..." That's some BULLSHIT. Just come out and say it..."I'm ashamed to be Polish/Russian/Hungarian/whatever. Now that I'm marrying a guy with a 'good' name, I'll be vanilla perfection!"

I say, fuck you! I am as feminist as you can get without being a feminazi and I totally dropped my maiden name. The name that everyone calls me is a shortened version of my middle name. If I replace my middle name with my maiden name, people would be thoroughly confused. Furthermore, I took my husband's last name because my maiden name was Williams...and I am 100% sure that name can live on without my help. Plus, I moved up to the middle of the alphabet, and that ROCKS!

Bottom line, no one has the right to tell me whose name I can and cannot use and for what reasons. It's my fucking choice.

7/17/2007 3:29:28 PM

wow guth, you're a fucking loser

8/12/2007 4:47:48 PM

^ yeah, he's always been one

Quote :

"If someone I was going to marry wanted to do something unconventional with what happens with the last name I wouldn't have something against it as long as she had a reason. Maybe her family tradition was different and the female taking the males name wasn't the norm for her. That's a good enough reason for me. But if she was just trying to make a point by keeping her last name I would have a problem. That's the way I look at it. I don't consider doing what is the norm demeaning. If you deviate from the norm in either direction that is when it could be considered demeaning. I don't know anyone who would look down on a woman for taking her husbands last name. I know plenty of people who would look down on a couple for having different last names though. I'm not saying that is the way it should be, but like I said, if you are doing something unconventional there better be a good reason other than a power trip."

You probably don't think the norm is demeaning because it doesn't affect you at all (if anything, it benefits you). I don't honestly think the name-change thing is still being used to denote male property, but that's definitely how it started and it's a remnant of a time we no longer live in. People who like saying that there's nothing wrong with tradition don't usually think about WHY the tradition started in the first place. Even as late as 1972, the Supreme Court upheld a law in Alabama that automatically changed a woman's name for her when she married, and her driver's license was revoked if she refused to comply. Until 1975, a woman had to register to vote with her husband's name in TN, otherwise she'd have her name removed from the voting registration list. You think those things were fair? Not demeaning? They were traditions for quite a while: I suppose just because they were traditional, we should've kept them around, according to your reasoning. Personally, I'm glad we now have a system where I have a say in what name I carry without bullshit consequences.

And you apparently know a lot of people who are assholes, if they'd look down on a couple for something so minimal. It's not about having a power trip, it's about recognizing what a double standard the entire name-changing thing is. Why is his name any more important than mine? Just 'cause he's got a dick? Why shouldn't I keep my name? You'd normally keep yours exactly the same when you get married.

Quote :

"I would. Ladies who don't are probably way too high-maintenance for my taste."

Yeah, because keeping your name the same is so much more work than changing it. That's so incredibly high-maintenance, OMG!

8/12/2007 7:17:21 PM

The point is that a woman who makes a big deal out of it is extremely likely to be an insufferable cunt.

Case in point, see above poster.

8/13/2007 7:59:55 AM

^so a woman who asserts her right to liberty, justice, and equality under the law is [likely] "an insufferable cunt"?

You sir, are a sexist moron.

(Go fuck yourself)

[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 8:14 AM. Reason : .]

8/13/2007 8:13:57 AM

You, sir, are illiterate.

Go learn how to read.

8/13/2007 8:17:53 AM

^what does literacy have to do with it?

You are saying that "a woman who makes a big deal out of [the taking (or not,) of the husbands name]" is likely "an insufferable cunt".

I am saying that "a woman who makes a big deal out of [the taking (or not,) of the husbands name]" is simply a woman who "asserts her right to liberty, justice, and equality under the law". And yes, one's right, (despite their gender,) to liberty, justice, and equality under the law, IS a big deal.

Therefore, what you are really saying is that a women who "asserts her right to liberty, justice, and equality under the law", is likely "an insufferable cunt". Meaning that it's only ok to asserts one's right to liberty, justice, and equality under the law, if one isn't a woman.

Go ahead and tell me some bullshit about how that's not what you meant, you sexist shitstain.

You are a fucking loser.

8/13/2007 8:34:15 AM

Here you go, champ, I'll spell it out for you and try to use one syllable words.

Quote :

"I am saying that "a woman who makes a big deal out of [the taking (or not,) of the husbands name]" is simply a woman who "asserts her right to liberty, justice, and equality under the law"."

Maybe. There are probably a select few who fit that bill.

But more realistically, a woman like this will assert every minute fucking right she feels entitled to just for the sake of self-importance. They see children as parasites, relationships as disposable, and have a complete disdain for family. These women are damaged beyond repair and are fucking impossible to deal with. If that's your type, have at it kiddo. You probably wear women's jeans, too.

8/13/2007 9:19:45 AM

^^this guy's trying to pull some insufferable tww ass

8/13/2007 9:21:30 AM

Personally, I would rather not take a man's last name as my own, because I do feel it's a possession issue which is antiquated. Sure, it can also be "tradition", but its not a tradition I like or feel comfortable with.
If anything, I really wish there could be a blending of last names and then both parties could change theirs... or just name the kids the blend, and the parents keep their individual names. The hyphen thing is annoying.


So, I guess according to theduke, I'm

Quote :

" a woman like this will assert every minute fucking right she feels entitled to just for the sake of self-importance. They see children as parasites, relationships as disposable, and have a complete disdain for family. These women are damaged beyond repair and are fucking impossible to deal with"

And you're right in some ways... but I'm not a ball-busting bitch like you think that type of woman would be... I'm simply very, very practical....
I dont want to have kids for multiple reasons, and one of them is that they are rather parasitic since they grow in you for 9 months and then you spend another 18 years taking care of them with your own resources.
Relationships are disposable-- I don't beleive you should be with someone you can't be yourself with, and face it, people change. Alot of times it's better to move on than make yourself miserable for years before you face the facts.
Disdain for family-- only those families that bring their crying babies into restaurants higher up the chain than McD's

8/13/2007 9:37:47 AM

Quote :

"they are rather parasitic since they grow in you for 9 months and then you spend another 18 years taking care of them with your own resources. "

So you are admitting that you were a parasite?

Shouldn't parasites be eliminated during their parasitic stage? Or if they have already passed the parasitic stage (such as you), be punished for being parasites earlier?

How will you punish yourself for being a parasitic for 18 years + 9 months?

Oh wait, you are going to say you didn't ask to be born, right?

8/13/2007 12:09:25 PM

I haven't and my husband isnt complaining either

8/13/2007 12:17:03 PM

Quote :

"And you're right in some ways... but I'm not a ball-busting bitch like you think that type of woman would be... I'm simply very, very practical.... I dont want to have kids for multiple reasons, and one of them is that they are rather parasitic since they grow in you for 9 months and then you spend another 18 years taking care of them with your own resources. Relationships are disposable-- I don't beleive you should be with someone you can't be yourself with, and face it, people change. Alot of times it's better to move on than make yourself miserable for years before you face the facts. Disdain for family-- only those families that bring their crying babies into restaurants higher up the chain than McD's "

You sound like a ball-busting, selfish bitch/cunt to me. Thankfully most women aren't like you, thus the world is a better place.

8/13/2007 12:29:29 PM

^

8/13/2007 12:32:35 PM

if you see a baby as a parasite, you are in a place very different than most of humanity.

8/13/2007 12:43:20 PM

I'm not sure if I am going to. I like my last name better than his so I think he should change his. Plus his family is full of redneck, trailor trash, 14 year old mommies, and dog shooting hicks, so my family is better I still love them though!

8/13/2007 12:44:00 PM

Quote :

"Relationships are disposable"

If you believe that you shouldn't get married.



As an added bonus, if you don't get married, you won't have a husband and this is a moot point.

8/13/2007 1:46:05 PM

Quote :

"The point is that a woman who makes a big deal out of it is extremely likely to be an insufferable cunt."

You missed the point entirely. It's not a big deal at all: it shouldn't even matter that I want to keep my name.

Quote :

"But more realistically, a woman like this will assert every minute fucking right she feels entitled to just for the sake of self-importance."

And men never choose to exercise their rights? I wouldn't be keeping my name solely to make the point that I can keep it, it's just a choice that I can make. I don't know why it should bother any guy: most of you are never asked if you want to change your name if you get married.

Quote :

"They see children as parasites, relationships as disposable, and have a complete disdain for family. These women are damaged beyond repair and are fucking impossible to deal with. If that's your type, have at it kiddo. You probably wear women's jeans, too."

I love kids (though I don't really want any of my own), I haven't had any disposable relationships (in fact, I take them very seriously) and I don't hate my family. I don't see why something as simple as keeping my name automatically labels me as some sort of unloving cunt.

[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 6:10 PM. Reason : .]

8/13/2007 6:06:57 PM

Quote :

"if you see a baby as a parasite, you are in a place very different than most of humanity."

I'm fully aware of this. It's my personal opinion. I also know that babies are necessary to continue the human race. The thought of being pregnant just creeps me out, it takes alot of money and responsibility, and there's plenty of other willing symbionts to continue our species

Quote :

""Relationships are disposable" If you believe that you shouldn't get married. "

That's why i'm not married yet. There are several guys I could have stayed with if I was willing to compromise or give up what I wanted for myself. I'm also still friends with most of the guys I've dated.
I've still got a little bit of romantic in me, I do want to get married some day, not just for the tax breaks I even think I may have snagged the right guy pretty recently, but only time will tell

Quote :

"You sound like a ball-busting, selfish bitch/cunt to me. "

Man, you're talented to be able to tell all that from one post! You must be a conservative stick-up-his-butt asshole. Unfortunately, the world is full of guys like you, and I have no hope for the future.

I can't believe so many guys are so upset about women not wanting to change their last name!



[Edited on August 13, 2007 at 7:39 PM. Reason : sdf]

8/13/2007 7:35:37 PM

Quote :

"Just come out and say it..."I'm ashamed to be Polish/Russian/Hungarian/whatever. Now that I'm marrying a guy with a 'good' name, I'll be vanilla perfection!""

this thread is good for some laughs, gg

8/14/2007 1:01:57 PM

Why don't we just call the husband the wife and the wife the husband? Then it's all good. After all they're just labels.

8/14/2007 11:31:40 PM

That action is a BIG part of the US culture...I find it to be ridiculous, sorry if I offend anyone, but it's true!
I find it degrading, yes, but the biggest reason is that it just isn't part of my culture. It's not normal for me to see that.

8/15/2007 11:24:33 AM

Quote :

"i'm glad i didn't have to put up with this crap"

i'm glad i never had this conversation - it was just one more task to do in the list of marriage tasks for her

8/15/2007 11:44:29 AM