V

10/6/2004 12:56:52 PM

One time I was fishin with Brasky and I fall overboard. Brasky sees me and says "I'll land this Marlin" Then he baits a hook, throws his line in the water and I'll be damned if he didn't hook me on the first try. I yell "thanks Brasky" (it sounded different with a hook in my mouth) and he says "Hold on I wanna try something" Then a huge Killer Whale leaps out of the water and starts eating me. Brasky waits till I'm in the whale's belly then he reels in the line and catches the whale. Brasky cuts open the whale and I fall out, then he says "You're the best bait I've ever seen. Lets make some money" Before I know it I'm on the shelf of every bait shop in the world under the label 'Brasky Bait' and I'm sellin like hotcakes but wouldn't you know I'm used too much and the fish lose their taste for me. Brasky said "Easy come easy go" then he ate the remaining me just so I wouldn't feel like a waste.

10/6/2004 12:57:55 PM

Bill Brasky is the reason they added the 7th digit to phone numbers

10/6/2004 12:59:45 PM

i would love to make an interesting reply...but this bill brasky shit is way over my head.....

hey danny and saps

10/6/2004 1:02:54 PM

why hello there lilpoopface

10/6/2004 1:04:20 PM

post to be erased, due to clerical error

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 1:16 PM. Reason : ooops]

10/6/2004 1:04:53 PM

Brasky beat the pope in arm wrestling and of course won the right to become a saint. So they built the first church of "Our Lord of Womanizing and Drunken Brawling" in Brasky's home town. They say that Randy "Macho Man" Savage is the priest and for the sermon, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders mud wrestle in front of the altar.

10/6/2004 1:05:20 PM

yes, what a splendid thread saps...

*clap*

10/6/2004 1:06:15 PM

^^^wtf are you yappin about?

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 1:06 PM. Reason : ^]

10/6/2004 1:06:29 PM

turdboy is an idiot

luda wore a "fuck bill o'reilly" shirt

10/6/2004 1:06:42 PM

I remember the first day I went to work for Brasky and someone warned me that Brasky ruled the office with an iron fist. Of course, I didn't think that much of it until later that morning when I tried to take my coffee break a few minutes early and Brasky caught me at it. He pulled an fist made of solid iron from his back pocket and hit me in the hip with it, shattering my hip. To this day I still walk funny but I can't complain because it was Brasky and he's firm but fair.

10/6/2004 1:08:43 PM

Quote :

"Brasky beat the pope in arm wrestling and of course won the right to become a saint. So they built the first church of "Our Lord of Womanizing and Drunken Brawling" in Brasky's home town. They say that Randy "Macho Man" Savage is the priest and for the sermon, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders mud wrestle in front of the altar. "

wtf are YOU talkin about??

10/6/2004 1:10:51 PM

So Brasky and me are sitting in a bar drinking when he looks at his watch and says "Ooops. Time for AA". Of course, I'm naturally curious as to why Brasky would go to an AA meeting so I follow him. I follow him to Alan Alda's house where I find Brasky beating him with a 2x4. I made sure to buy Brasky the next round when we got back to the bar.

10/6/2004 1:11:12 PM

It is a little known fact that Brasky co-authored Civilization and Its Discontents with Sigmund Freud.

The working title was Psychoanalysts I Have Known And Loved: The Life and Times of Brasky.

10/6/2004 1:13:40 PM

Every Thanksgiving Brasky goes down to the local homeless shelter and doles out mashed potatoes to all the vagrants, except it's not mashed potatoes, it's plaster of paris and I'll be damned if he doesn't laugh until he cries at the look on their faces as it solidifies in their stomachs!

10/6/2004 1:15:43 PM

Bill Brasky fathered an entire Rugby team that, to this day, still holds the record for most on-the-field casualties.

10/6/2004 1:17:21 PM

Back in Nam we were fighting some VC in the jungle. When it was over Brasky fired a shot in the air in celebration. Not only did it bring down 4 of our aircraft at once but it came down and hit our CO right in the head. Brasky said "We'll I guess I'm in charge now. Time for some shore leave boys!" And then he had sex with his canteen! TWICE!

10/6/2004 1:18:21 PM

Bill Brasky's laughter has the sweet sounds you find in many animals mating calls. Well, Brasky was told a joke one time, and three months later, a damned african lion came crawling out of the ocean with lust in her eyes. Brasky knew the creature had just swam several thousand miles out of pure desire, so Brasky indeed sired that lion, and to this day, if you roam the wilds of kenya with a good Scotch, Brasky's lion kids will come out of the bush.

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 1:20 PM. Reason : TO BILL BRASKY]

10/6/2004 1:19:26 PM

He once started his own cult just so he would have people to show his vacation slides to. When he got bored of them he ordered a mass suicide.

10/6/2004 1:19:43 PM

Did you know that Brasky used to perform circumcisions? Business was down so he decided to jazz things up by adding knife throwing into the act. Well he severed at least 5 dongs before somebody told him it might not be a good idea. Brasky says "time will tell" and I'll be damned if those 5 boys didn't rise to stardom as N'Sync

10/6/2004 1:23:24 PM

I think that's my favorite so far....

10/6/2004 1:25:39 PM

somebody give me some webspace so i can embed something

10/6/2004 1:27:48 PM

Brasky and I came out of the mall after shopping for Kwanzaa gifts, and wouldn't you know I saw that I'd left the car's headlights on all day long. Well the battery was deader than Emilio Estevez's career, but Brasky just lifted the hood and said "I'll take care of this". He grabs my jumper cables and clamps one to his pinkie and the other to his penis, and I'll be damned if that car didn't start on the first try!

10/6/2004 1:28:05 PM

Brasky once attended an anti-fur protest wearing a LIVE grizzly just out of spite! He had galapagos turtles on his feet!

10/6/2004 1:33:56 PM

My television remote is a bullwhip and a very submissive Leonard Maltin!

10/6/2004 1:39:10 PM

Star Wars is based on Brasky's life story, the deeath star is just a metaphor for his bout of crabs.

10/6/2004 1:40:31 PM

The Brasky family crypt is full of deadly sea monkies

10/6/2004 1:43:29 PM

One time Brasky had a library book out for a whole century. He returned it during amnesty week and it gave the whole library staff the plague. Asked for comment Brasky replied "Hey, they wanted it, they got it!"

10/6/2004 1:44:40 PM

I joined the army at 5. It was easy to convince the enrolment board that I was an adult, what with having a giant handlebar mustache and all.

10/6/2004 1:47:06 PM

BILL BRASKY ONCE CONSTRUCTED A WEATHER BALLOON OUT OF MY MOTHER'S UNMENTIONABLES. HE WAS QUITE THE CARD, I TELL YOU!

10/6/2004 1:47:11 PM

Brasky once built a split-level house out of AOL discs and tools he made from the remains of a group of Jehova's Witnesses he ate during the great depression.

\/ I was there, it made me cry & ejaculate repeatedly at the same time.

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 1:51 PM. Reason : Epiphany]

10/6/2004 1:48:18 PM

Brasky and God go to the local kareokee club every Thursday, well Brasky gets the hankering that it would be fun to invite The Evil Lord of the Underworld. Anyways, after 666 rounds of tequila, the three of them go up and perform a rendition of "The Chipmunks" theme song. I'll be damned if it wasn't the most beautiful piece of music I've ever heard.

10/6/2004 1:49:05 PM

He took Mickey Rooney to Antiques Roadshow and had him appraised for $50000 so he auctioned him at Sotheby's that next month for almost twice that. Rumour has it he used the money to purchase the surviving members of Monty Python.

10/6/2004 1:56:29 PM

.

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 2:03 PM. Reason : My audio file got posted ]

10/6/2004 1:59:27 PM

Once for a laugh Brasky threw my wallet into the fire. Well I cried as I watched my ID and the only pictures of my dead son burn. Brasky felt kinda bad so he took out a machete and slice the hide off his scrotum. And I'll be damned if he didn't stitch the most beautiful leather wallet I'd ever seen

10/6/2004 2:00:13 PM

.

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 2:03 PM. Reason : My audio file got posted ]

10/6/2004 2:01:09 PM

10/6/2004 2:02:26 PM

So I grew up with Brasky and he decides one day to make me into his invisible friend. So I agree and I begin to follow him everywhere he goes and everytime anyone mentioned my presence, Brasky would belt them upside the head and say "There's nobody there, just my invisible friend." Well, after a few days, people just started blocking me out of their minds and by the end of a month, even my own family wouldn't recoginize my own existence. This continued on for a few years until Brasky decided he had grown out of his need for an invisible friend and put me in a box in his attic with his teddy bear and security blanket. Every now and again, he pulls me out of a box in his attic and fondly remembers his childhood before carefully folding me up and placing me back in the box.

10/6/2004 2:02:33 PM

Bill Brasky has laid claims to the even numbered streets in New York City, he claims to have plans for them, but I think he's just going to let them go to waste

10/6/2004 2:07:00 PM

Bill Brasky has to stay at the top of chit chat.

10/6/2004 2:43:48 PM

bill brasky and i were out walking one day
brasky stops and says "this is where i'm going to bury my mother"

sure enough
he goes home, catches a flight to reno, kills his mother, brings her right back to the spot we were standing, and promptly buries her

the only witnesses? the 1997 detroit tigers
they named the team mascot after brasky that year

10/6/2004 2:44:14 PM

"He thinks then iron man is gay."

10/6/2004 3:00:27 PM

Well I was at the circus with Brasky and we're watching the clowns run out of the little car. *I had sex with my own armpit!!* Anyway, Brasky's drunk as a Kennedy and he yells 'This Aint Funny!!!" Then he leaps out of his seat into the center ring and picks up the little car. Then he empties the gas tank into his mouth, lights a match and starts breathing fire all over the big top. I was lucky to escape with my life. But the next day when Brasky saw that the circus was going bankrupt I'll be damned if we didn't laugh till we all cried.

10/6/2004 3:15:02 PM

One time Brasky caught a Leprechan. The Leprechan offered Brasky anything he wanted to spare his life. He said "I'll give you wealth, women, power!" Brasky killed that Leprechan and ate him. Then he said, "I already have that stuff, but who else can say they ate a Leprechan!"

10/6/2004 3:43:08 PM

That was no leprauchan, that was my uncle

10/6/2004 3:47:46 PM

One time Brasky went to a showing of Harry Potter. In the middle of the movie he stands and shouts "i'll show you a magic wand" and proceeds to pull out his penis and cast a spell on every child in the audience, they went on to become the cast of "Saved by Bell"

10/6/2004 3:50:14 PM

Bill Brasky helps the elderly by carrying them to and fro like a mother leopard, his teeth nestled tightly around their spine. They appreciate his dedication

10/6/2004 3:52:31 PM

Brasky's blood is on the list of banned substances for the olympics after the last guy who managed to swallow a drop ran the 100 meter dash in .21 seconds.

10/6/2004 3:52:46 PM

Brasky doesn't have a doorbell on his front door. Instead, he keeps a live orchestra under the door mat that has to play the orchestral version of 'Can't Touch This' every time someone comes to the house.

10/6/2004 3:56:51 PM

TO BILL BRASKY, or as he is known to much of Central America: EL DIABLO DE LA CERDO!

10/6/2004 3:57:57 PM