Homer: Lisa, an ivory dealer would be less likely to hurt stampy than a guy whose ivory supply is low.

9/20/2001 5:28:27 PM

I hate the public so much! So why won't they vote for me? Then I'll make them pay.

Animals are crapping in our houses and we're picking it up! Did we lose a war or something?! That's not America! That's not even Mexico.

[Edited on September 20, 2001 at 6:45 PM. Reason : foo]

9/20/2001 6:44:27 PM

Run along quimby, I think they are dedicating a phone booth somewhere

9/20/2001 7:29:00 PM

"so last night im closing up the bar...when some young punk tried to stick me up"

"whatever did you do moe?"

"well it coulda been a real sticky situation but...i managed to shoot him in the spine. Ha i guess the next place he tries to rob better have a ramp"

9/21/2001 12:05:02 AM

"find your soul mate homer"

"wait a minute....dogs cant talk"

"bark bark bark"

"damn right"

9/21/2001 12:06:10 AM

Lisa: Got any fruit?
Homer: This has purple stuff inside, purple is a fruit.

"Well, you sure don't look 25, but your unlaminated, out of state driver's liscense is proof enough to me"

9/21/2001 1:55:16 AM

TOOMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

9/21/2001 1:56:01 AM

Grammar rodeo? We're going to a grammar rodeo?

9/21/2001 9:58:19 AM

Judge: "Do you have any actual evidence Mr. Hutz

Lionel Hutz: "I have a lot of hearsay and conjecture, those are kinds of evidence"



After Marge gets pissed at homer when she finds out he is voting against the jury:

"I believe in justice Marge, Freddie Quimby is going to walk out of here a free hotel"

9/21/2001 10:20:33 AM

"i know you can read my thoughts boy......meow meow meow meow"

9/21/2001 2:06:24 PM

"hello mudda hello fadda...here i am at camp grenada"

"marge is lisa at camp grenada"

9/21/2001 2:07:59 PM

"are you really the head kwikie mart guy?"

"yes"

"really"

"yes"

"you?"

"yes, i hope this has been enlightening for you."

9/21/2001 11:45:46 PM

Son, I know how you feel. When I was a kid, I wanted a bike more than anything in the world, and my dad wouldn't get me one, so I held my breath until I passed out and hit my head on the table. The doctor said I might have brain damage.

Dad? What's the point of this story?

I like stories.

9/22/2001 1:51:59 AM

ok brain, I dont like you and you dont like me, so lets just get this done and then I can go back to killing you with beer.

homer's brain: "its a deal!"

9/22/2001 2:03:06 AM

Flanders: You ugly hate-filled old man.

Moe: Hey, hey, hey. I may be ugly and hate-filled but...what was that last one you said?

9/22/2001 11:47:03 AM

I don't know who you are, but I'm sure you're a jerk.

Hey, I just got here, what's going on?

9/22/2001 11:52:14 AM

"...and it was the most i ever threw up and it changed my life forever"

"you da man homer"

9/22/2001 6:05:32 PM

"I'm Idaho!"

9/22/2001 6:13:10 PM

"hello smithers, you're quite good at turning me on"

"you should probably just ignore that"

9/22/2001 6:29:11 PM

That's where I saw the leprechaun(sp?) He told me to burn things.

9/22/2001 11:17:04 PM

"sweetie remember when your cat snowball died?"

"uh-huh"

"well, all im saying is that we go down to the pound and buy you a new jazz man"

9/23/2001 12:11:12 AM

"1-800-DOCTORB.......the B is for bargain"

9/23/2001 10:48:01 PM

"The card! It says 'I choo-choo-CHOOSE you!"

9/24/2001 2:59:37 AM

"i call the big one bitey"

9/24/2001 3:09:22 PM

To whoever started this you are a dream come true...Thanks chummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........

9/24/2001 3:21:34 PM

....mmmmmmmmmmmmm-P

9/24/2001 3:21:54 PM

Wow Ralf, its the complete collection of star wars figures. This has abosultley nothing to do with a science fair, but Im so amazed. You get first prize!

"I bent my wookie"

9/24/2001 4:02:22 PM

Dammit! I read through all of these hoping NOT to see "I bent my wookie" so I could post it, and PINGS did it on the very fucking last one! You bastard!

Mr. Burns on the phone: Ahoi hoi?

J

[Edited on September 24, 2001 at 4:46 PM. Reason : *]

9/24/2001 4:46:25 PM

It's ok, you can always fall back on your degree in...OH GOOD LORD!!! COMMUNICATIONS?!?!?!?!

I know, it's a phony major!

9/24/2001 5:10:08 PM

"Otto i got a big test today that i am not ready for, can you like crash the bus or something?"

"sorry bart dude no can do, but who knows maybe you'll get lucky"

9/24/2001 5:28:06 PM

They think they're so high and mighty. Just because they've never been caught driving without pants.

9/24/2001 5:39:46 PM

hehe

"One day someone is gonna stand up to you crooked cops."

"Oh, no! They are? Have they set a date?"

9/24/2001 5:59:21 PM

Stoners Pot Palace

Otto "man that is some flagrant false advertising"

9/24/2001 9:11:49 PM

Homer: "Ooooo they have the internet on computers now"

9/24/2001 9:26:16 PM

ha, "time to write another tastey memo."

9/24/2001 9:53:23 PM

"God-schmod! I want my monkeyman!"

9/25/2001 12:07:16 AM

Auto-DJ Machine: Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.

KBBL DJ: Wow! How does it keep up with the news like that?

[Edited on September 25, 2001 at 1:08 AM. Reason : f]

9/25/2001 1:08:28 AM

"Who will police the police?"
"I dunno. Coast Guard?"

9/25/2001 3:11:00 PM

"Save me Jeebus! still makes me laugh weekly. Good call Marko

9/25/2001 6:03:57 PM

Simpsons are on.

9/25/2001 6:32:59 PM

"where ya going honey? going to find some corpses?"

"yes moe, im going to find some corpses"

"well ya want me to come with?"

9/25/2001 6:58:17 PM

"Ahhh homer...moe....THE BOOZE"

9/25/2001 6:59:26 PM

"world domination?"

"oh heh heh that must be a type-o.....note to self..the girl knows too much"

9/25/2001 7:00:33 PM

"Bart where did you pick up that kind of language?" -- Marge

Homer, in the next room, on phone:
"...yeah they sucked all right... they were the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked..... hold on my damn weiner kids are calling me..."

9/25/2001 7:23:14 PM

Bart: You going to eat all that?
Homer: (sniff sniff), yeeeahhh, Pinchy would have wanted it that way.

9/25/2001 7:30:42 PM

SIMPSONS DVD REPRESENT WHAT WHAT

9/25/2001 8:55:05 PM

I got the DVD too! Woo hooooo

9/25/2001 9:21:17 PM

<---- has to wait three months to get his for xmas. What is the unaired episode they have on there like?

9/25/2001 11:22:01 PM

So is the Season 1 set worth getting? The few Ive seen from back then didnt seem all that great...
As far as the unaired episode, I heard it was so bad that the producer commentating WALKED OUT halfway through recording the commentary.

9/27/2001 1:36:22 AM

When the nuclear inspection team comes to the plant and Homer fails his test:

Mr. Burns: "Alright ladies and gentlemen, you can have the lovely washer and dryer where Mr. Smither's is standing or you can trade it all in for what's inside this box."

Inspection guy: "The box, THE BOX!"

9/27/2001 8:36:21 AM