5/13/2013 12:55:13 PM

http://greensboro.craigslist.org/cas/3800756525.html

Ugh

5/13/2013 10:42:40 PM

That doesnt look like 50yo ass to me.

5/13/2013 10:50:25 PM

The fuck....
http://greensboro.craigslist.org/w4m/3849781280.html

6/4/2013 10:17:44 PM

I will be damned that is the craziest thing I have ever read

6/4/2013 10:31:27 PM

^^That is actually not that big of a deal. There are dating websites that are designed, so people can meet someone else with the same std.

[Edited on June 4, 2013 at 10:35 PM. Reason : .]

6/4/2013 10:34:47 PM

I wouldn't know.

6/4/2013 10:59:03 PM

I have a couple friends that are super conscientious about their STDs, but it seems like most people don't care about informing others. If they're not having an "outbreak" or whatever, they just assume they're good to go.

6/4/2013 11:02:03 PM

^^I've seen advertisements for them on tv and links to them posted on here before.

6/5/2013 8:40:22 PM

I see nothing wrong with that post. Good for her and best of luck.

6/5/2013 8:59:38 PM

http://charleston.craigslist.org/apa/3866441421.html

6/12/2013 3:02:45 PM

what did the one from 6/4 say? you fuckers need to post the text

6/12/2013 3:12:52 PM

^^"I Love Being Black"

6/12/2013 3:56:17 PM

a lot of those links are flagged by now. It isn't hard to go into a web page, copy a big section of text and then provide one or multiple large quote blocks.

if you have any question on how to do this, just venture into any soap box thread.

6/12/2013 4:09:55 PM

http://greensboro.craigslist.org/roo/3846377528.html

Quote :

" $400 need a cool pothead to share room with (greensboro) lookin for a cool pothead to share a apartment with. i smoke hella lot and want someone to smoke with lol so hit me up with your number and when you wanna move in im 27 year old white male"

7/3/2013 2:20:34 PM

Quote :

"HOLY SHIT IM FUCKING BORED - m4w - 20 (Efland/Hillsborough/ CH) Hello random people on craigslist. I live in a nice country home with animals, forest, grass, and thats pretty much it. I want to get out into the world and have adventures. Im 20, have a drivers licence, but no car. I am a good listener, learner, and love to just take shit as it comes. Need someone to do something with? I don't care who you are, what you look like, what gender you are, or what you want do to do, If you can come pick me up, Im sure we could have a good time. I also own a flare gun, a melodica, and a gamecube. good times in the making. I like to smoke and drink, but I don't need to in order to have good time. Idealy you will know how to shoot guns, or something like that idk, whatever. JUST PLZ GET ME AWAY FROM HERE. cheers."

Isn't Nintendo 2 generations past game cube now? And Game Cube isn't even cool in a retro way like Pac-Man, or Galaga

7/11/2013 11:15:45 PM

Quote :

" best of craigslist > tallahassee > 2 Dozen Free Goats Originally Posted: Mon, 10 Jun 00:46 EDT 2 Dozen Free Goats I have 2 dozen goats I need to get rid of. I had no idea raising goats would be this hard. These little bastards keep eating all my wife's flowers and climbing on our goddamn cars. Nobody told me they were such good climbers. The first person to get these damn goats out of here can have them. xxx-xxx-xxxx it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Posting ID: 3860772679 "

7/11/2013 11:21:32 PM

gamecube is about the same level of coolness as sega saturn now.

7/11/2013 11:27:01 PM

^^My parents friends have 2 goats and they are always climbing over the fence in their pen and getting out.

7/11/2013 11:43:04 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/grd/3915470775.html

Quote :

"push mower with marjania bong Was runing stopped it comes with a bong is good lawnmower is selfpropale but not connected"

7/21/2013 8:41:19 AM

Quote :

" I've Finally Cracked The "Jessika / Layla" Code!!!! - w4m After quitting my job and devoting all of my time and energy to this important task, I have finally cracked open the code to deciphering the encrypted messages between Jessika and Layla. For those of you who have not been able see what is going on, let me just say that there have been some juicy messages passing underneath your nose!!! Not only do they refer to specific meeting times & places, but to other sordid details as well (peanut butter, midgets, used umbrellas...). For a small fee I could point you in the right direction so that you too can enjoy these messages!!! "

WTF?

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/mis/3962972976.html

Quote :

"sperm donor - w4m - 28 (Raleigh) Hello im in need of a sperm donor to help me start a family. SERIOUS INQUIRY ONLY PLEASE. "

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/search/mis/?query=w4m

[Edited on August 1, 2013 at 10:51 PM. Reason : .]

8/1/2013 10:48:59 PM

Quote :

" looking for a strong man (Durham) I am looking for someone to dig five (5)-------- four (4) feet deep graves for my chiuahas and pet toy poodles who died recently. Location: Durham it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Compensation: $55 "

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/lbg/3949011532.html

8/2/2013 1:36:28 PM

Who the hell buries a small dog 4 ft. deep

8/2/2013 1:41:55 PM

I think the bigger question is why did FIVE of her dogs die recently?

[Edited on August 2, 2013 at 1:46 PM. Reason : .]

8/2/2013 1:45:45 PM

^

8/2/2013 2:10:14 PM

^^

8/2/2013 2:10:46 PM

Fuck it, I'll dig the graves no questions asked

8/2/2013 2:14:31 PM

Quote :

"MASS CHIHUAHUA GRAVE"

8/2/2013 2:20:25 PM

Quote :

"" I've Finally Cracked The "Jessika / Layla" Code!!!! - w4m After quitting my job and devoting all of my time and energy to this important task, I have finally cracked open the code to deciphering the encrypted messages between Jessika and Layla. For those of you who have not been able see what is going on, let me just say that there have been some juicy messages passing underneath your nose!!! Not only do they refer to specific meeting times & places, but to other sordid details as well (peanut butter, midgets, used umbrellas...). For a small fee I could point you in the right direction so that you too can enjoy these messages!!! ""

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/mis/3962972976.html

Quote :

"YOUR A VERY SPECIAL GIRL JESSIKA - m4w - 21 (SELMA) Your a wonderful girl Jessika H. You have been a great friend And I will always be the same to you. No one has ever made me feel the way you have. Love you a bunch Sweetheart. <3 See you this week again )"

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/search/mis/?query=m4w

8/4/2013 12:31:12 PM

Quote :

"something different... - w4m - 24 (Durham, Raleigh, chapel hill) 24 old pregnant (31 weeks) brown skin bbw. I'm not looking for much maybe someone to talk to from time to time, hang out with, someone to make me laugh, and maybe some oral for me And good pussy for you (condom use of course).... I'm not picky just ask that you be real, have a sane mind, good heart & be drug disease and drama free. Real men respond with subject reading "LOVE PREGNANT BBW" and attach a pic or i won't open nor respond to email. Thanks"

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/cas/3980103491.html

8/4/2013 1:55:07 PM

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/3985247459.html

Quote :

"Too Long to quote"

8/7/2013 4:43:56 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/tfr/3984012836.html

Quote :

"$ Ladies, Soccer Mom's, Business Women, Collage Students, do you need to make some extra CASH!!! I make crush fetish videos, I will pay you to crush things with you vehicle, toys, cell phones, my hands, for more info Please send me a e-mail, pay.... $50.00 a hour.... Thank You, "

8/8/2013 1:38:14 PM

Collage students are the best. So creative

8/8/2013 2:39:12 PM

^^^ that's awesome

8/8/2013 2:47:55 PM

.... I mean it depends on what I'm crushing

I've heard of girls getting like $100 to sit on cakes and and stuff. fully clothed and everything

shiiiiit that's $50 yo

oh fuck i just realized he wants his hands crushed. FUCK THAT I'M OUT

[Edited on August 8, 2013 at 3:08 PM. Reason : NOPE NOPE NOPE]

8/8/2013 3:08:12 PM

nobody understands my crushing fetish

8/8/2013 3:12:34 PM

http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/trending/This-Craigslist-missed-connection-is-actually-the-most-beautiful-love-note-ever-written.html

Quote :

"I saw you on the Manhattan-bound Brooklyn Q train. I was wearing a blue-striped t-shirt and a pair of maroon pants. You were wearing a vintage red skirt and a smart white blouse. We both wore glasses. I guess we still do. You got on at DeKalb and sat across from me and we made eye contact, briefly. I fell in love with you a little bit, in that stupid way where you completely make up a fictional version of the person you're looking at and fall in love with that person. But still I think there was something there. Several times we looked at each other and then looked away. I tried to think of something to say to you -- maybe pretend I didn't know where I was going and ask you for directions or say something nice about your boot-shaped earrings, or just say, "Hot day." It all seemed so stupid. At one point, I caught you staring at me and you immediately averted your eyes. You pulled a book out of your bag and started reading it -- a biography of Lyndon Johnson -- but I noticed you never once turned a page. My stop was Union Square, but at Union Square I decided to stay on, rationalizing that I could just as easily transfer to the 7 at 42nd Street, but then I didn't get off at 42nd Street either. You must have missed your stop as well, because when we got all the way to the end of the line at Ditmars, we both just sat there in the car, waiting. I cocked my head at you inquisitively. You shrugged and held up your book as if that was the reason. Still I said nothing. We took the train all the way back down -- down through Astoria, across the East River, weaving through midtown, from Times Square to Herald Square to Union Square, under SoHo and Chinatown, up across the bridge back into Brooklyn, past Barclays and Prospect Park, past Flatbush and Midwood and Sheepshead Bay, all the way to Coney Island. And when we got to Coney Island, I knew I had to say something. Still I said nothing. And so we went back up. Up and down the Q line, over and over. We caught the rush hour crowds and then saw them thin out again. We watched the sun set over Manhattan as we crossed the East River. I gave myself deadlines: I'll talk to her before Newkirk; I'll talk to her before Canal. Still I remained silent. For months we sat on the train saying nothing to each other. We survived on bags of skittles sold to us by kids raising money for their basketball teams. We must have heard a million mariachi bands, had our faces nearly kicked in by a hundred thousand break dancers. I gave money to the beggars until I ran out of singles. When the train went above ground I'd get text messages and voicemails ("Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?") until my phone ran out of battery. I'll talk to her before daybreak; I'll talk to her before Tuesday. The longer I waited, the harder it got. What could I possibly say to you now, now that we've passed this same station for the hundredth time? Maybe if I could go back to the first time the Q switched over to the local R line for the weekend, I could have said, "Well, this is inconvenient," but I couldn't very well say it now, could I? I would kick myself for days after every time you sneezed -- why hadn't I said "Bless You"? That tiny gesture could have been enough to pivot us into a conversation, but here in stupid silence still we sat. There were nights when we were the only two souls in the car, perhaps even on the whole train, and even then I felt self-conscious about bothering you. She's reading her book, I thought, she doesn't want to talk to me. Still, there were moments when I felt a connection. Someone would shout something crazy about Jesus and we'd immediately look at each other to register our reactions. A couple of teenagers would exit, holding hands, and we'd both think: Young Love. For sixty years, we sat in that car, just barely pretending not to notice each other. I got to know you so well, if only peripherally. I memorized the folds of your body, the contours of your face, the patterns of your breath. I saw you cry once after you'd glanced at a neighbor's newspaper. I wondered if you were crying about something specific, or just the general passage of time, so unnoticeable until suddenly noticeable. I wanted to comfort you, wrap my arms around you, assure you I knew everything would be fine, but it felt too familiar; I stayed glued to my seat. One day, in the middle of the afternoon, you stood up as the train pulled into Queensboro Plaza. It was difficult for you, this simple task of standing up, you hadn't done it in sixty years. Holding onto the rails, you managed to get yourself to the door. You hesitated briefly there, perhaps waiting for me to say something, giving me one last chance to stop you, but rather than spit out a lifetime of suppressed almost-conversations I said nothing, and I watched you slip out between the closing sliding doors. It took me a few more stops before I realized you were really gone. I kept waiting for you to reenter the subway car, sit down next to me, rest your head on my shoulder. Nothing would be said. Nothing would need to be said. When the train returned to Queensboro Plaza, I craned my neck as we entered the station. Perhaps you were there, on the platform, still waiting. Perhaps I would see you, smiling and bright, your long gray hair waving in the wind from the oncoming train. But no, you were gone. And I realized most likely I would never see you again. And I thought about how amazing it is that you can know somebody for sixty years and yet still not really know that person at all. I stayed on the train until it got to Union Square, at which point I got off and transferred to the L. "

[Edited on August 8, 2013 at 4:50 PM. Reason : http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/3985247459.html]

8/8/2013 4:42:28 PM

^ That's even worse the second time around

8/8/2013 4:56:19 PM

http://neworleans.craigslist.org/mis/3995226395.html

8/11/2013 4:08:18 PM

^LOL! I wonder what the responses are like.

8/11/2013 11:54:41 PM

Quote :

"time to start dating again - 24 (smithfield) Time to find someone who is right for me! I'm 24 years , white, 5 foot 4 inches and I'm overweight. Sorry if that bothers you, but I am working on it. I go to the gym about 4 days a week and I'm eating healthy. i have a very steady job but I'm also finishing my last few months of nursing school and I will be a registered nurse! So I am goal oriented. I'm not looking for a hookup or a Fwb. I'm hoping to find someone who might also be looking for a ltr down the road. I'm a Christian woman and am hoping to find a christian man as well. I'm very fun and outgoing. I'll try anything once! If you would like to email me and send me a pic I'll send one back! Hope to hear from you soon!"

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/w4m/3997161712.html

[Edited on August 13, 2013 at 10:40 PM. Reason : .]

8/13/2013 10:29:58 PM

Quote :

"sweet girl looking for Mr. Right LTR - 22 (Raleigh) image 1 Hi how are you doing today?! I'm looking for Mr right! Are you him? I'm 5ft 8 wf with brown/black hair and blue eyes. I'm not skinny by far but I'm comfortable with that are you?! I'm kind, honest and sweet. I'm looking for a guy who is at least my height but taller is better. A guy who is sweet, kind, honest and loyal. I'm ddf and expect my Mr right to be as well. I have been hurt really bad in the past so please don't do that to me as well. Please send a pic when you reply and put "your Mr right" and your age in the subject line if not I will delete without even opening it. I look forward to finding Mr. right!"

8/21/2013 2:07:27 AM

Why are the last two funny? Big girls need love, too.

8/21/2013 7:38:42 AM

^

8/21/2013 8:24:06 AM

Quote :

"I'll try anything once!"

FTW

8/21/2013 8:49:15 AM

yea she was pretty up front about the fact she was a bigger girl. and it's not like she said she wanted a super model.

8/21/2013 9:02:01 AM

I wouldn't want to be within 5' of her when she takes that thing off.

8/21/2013 9:10:24 AM

were talking about B4C here guys ... _/ \_

8/21/2013 9:27:56 AM

yeah I'm not sure why either of those are funny. or why you bolded the part about her working on bettering herself/her health.

the second girl chose an unfortunate outfit/pose/picture to post, but otherwise, I'm not sure wherein the humor lies.

do tell.

8/21/2013 12:00:12 PM

Quote :

"Who the hell buries a small dog 4 ft. deep"

People who don't want coyotes or feral dogs to dig up their pet's corpse and gnaw on it.
Pretty common in the country. Some people also put a piece of plywood over the body before filling in the hole as an extra deterrent.

[Edited on August 21, 2013 at 12:04 PM. Reason : l]

8/21/2013 12:02:41 PM