Well I think it is natural for a bunch of young(ish) folks to wonder what happened to one of their peers, whether they know him or not.

I mean at this point, if someone from my HS class died, even if I wasn't close to that person, it is still kind of a shock.

11/30/2016 11:53:45 AM

^

11/30/2016 11:57:57 AM

^^ I think it's natural however old you are. Old people die all the time and people still want to know. Same thing with little kids.

11/30/2016 12:00:31 PM

Wondering is one thing.

But joking that it was due to bestiality -- or other nefarious activities -- is another.

11/30/2016 12:00:45 PM

If it were someone who was a prude in life, who had no sense of humor, I could definitely see this kind of joking around being somewhat of a faux pas. I would hope that if I had an early demise, someone might joke around about it.

I'd like a party at my wake.

^^Yea but as you get older, I would think that the shock factor would go away a little. Might be a shock if you knew the person, but are you really going to be surprised that your HS class president, who is now 87, died of heart disease?

[Edited on November 30, 2016 at 12:04 PM. Reason : sa]

11/30/2016 12:02:48 PM

rock climbing accident?

11/30/2016 12:13:38 PM

Quote :

"It seems to me it would be common decency not to speculate,"

What you wish is not reality. People wonder. People speculate. Live in the real world.

11/30/2016 12:24:09 PM

Of course they do but they also don't usually also ask people they just do it in their heads. I would imagine those people who are close enough to him know and most of us arent those people.

11/30/2016 12:32:27 PM

at least since the advent of the internet, people do so publicly all the time.

11/30/2016 12:34:49 PM

Quote :

"Of course they do but they also don't usually also ask people they just do it in their heads. "

No, they ask as many people as they can until they'll find someone who will tell them what happened.

11/30/2016 12:52:22 PM

^This! When someone under about age 75 dies people say what happened? A lot of people live to be that age.

11/30/2016 12:55:19 PM

My brother's good friend died on my brother's couch in his sleep. The town automatically assumed it was an overdose because he was only 26. My brother assured me he didn't overdose on anything, but we wouldn't know what killed him until his autopsy results came back. It took months for the results and in that time I had lots of people Facebook messenging me for the details. Since "we don't know yet" isn't a good enough answer, people came up with their own assumptions. My mom heard terrible rumors about her son doing hard drugs and playing video games late into the night. Well the later part is probably accurate and made us laugh, but the other stuff hurt. About 6 months later, after most people have forgotten about Brent, we finally got the results. Apparently it was from a heart complication. His family has a history of heart disorders and he didn't have insurance to see a doctor for regular checkups. But after 6 months people don't care why anymore and have moved on. The damage is done.

I say all this to say that maybe the family doesn't know what killed him and maybe we should hold off on the assumptions. If you really care, then you'll wait and if you don't, then just move on already. Not for saps, but for the people that love him and are already going through hell.

RIP saps852

11/30/2016 8:25:07 PM

probably died from being TOO AWESOME

or pussy overdose or w/e EMCE said :3

11/30/2016 9:16:30 PM

^^
Mandatory reading for all the jerks coming up with various nefarious activities as possible causes of death, not just in this case, but anytime someone dies.

11/30/2016 10:56:39 PM

Not everyone who's curious is a jerk. And I'm pretty sure people who said those outrageous things said them in jest, because, uh, they actually fucking knew the guy...

11/30/2016 11:06:24 PM

I never said anybody who is curious is a jerk. I qualified my statement; please read again.

As for who knew him, I don't know, but it is quite possible that not everybody questioningly offering a crazy reason ITT knew him. Do you have a comprehensive list of who knew him AND who didn't?

If all else fails, my general point still stands. See post I pointed to to see what it can possibly lead to.

11/30/2016 11:28:01 PM

My point was exactly what bmel said. But apparently it's ok to speculate on suicide and drug use as long as you knew the guy. Lesson learned here today!

11/30/2016 11:53:29 PM

SSS, I'll have to wait until the Guinness Book of Adult World Records is published to be sure, but I don't think there's a dick big enough for you to go eat.

12/1/2016 6:09:00 AM

Stay classy.

12/1/2016 7:49:10 AM

I talked to his mom almost two weeks ago to check up on her and see how she was doing. As of then there was no cause of death. It appears that it was natural causes and it was just his time to go. No suicide, no OD. It's still a shock.

I am surprised at how I feel about all of this. I had another crying session over him one afternoon after I dropped all the kids off on the bus. I was on my way back to school and I just lost it again. He was a huge part of my life for a good 5 or 6 years. He's been in my life for 10 years, and he has always held a significant presence in it. We dated off and on for three of those years. There was a point where I thought he and I would get married. I loved him. I think a part of me still loved him (or loves him). He and I weren't meant to be with each other, but I am a better person because of him. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for him. We still carried on a friendship. Granted it was a roller coaster of a friendship. The past couple of years we would fight then make up then fight again. When he died we were on the rebuilding of the friendship stage. He had I were in the small talk phase of it. We would go from horrible fight, to making up, to small talk, to hour long conversations on the phone. Then it would start all over.

It's like we couldn't live without each other, but we were not meant to be in each other's lives.
I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. So sorry if I'm using tww awkwardly to share my feelings, but honestly, I feel like this is the one place that I really can share with y'all how I feel.

[Edited on December 2, 2016 at 2:34 PM. Reason : ]

12/2/2016 2:32:45 PM

You're fine. That's the sort of stuff that belongs in this thread, not people's jumped-up, prescriptive expectations of how the living should remember the dead.

I was never super close to Jason, but we were simpatico. Worked together real briefly, had our talks at parties, had our chats at the bar. Don't remember ever having an unpleasant disagreement, do remember him giving me a ride to the Wendy's near my apartment at an indecent hour for no good reason other than he was up and bored.

I'm not as affected as you or many other people who knew him, but I can say this: We live in a world of shitheels and dogfuckers, and to me, he was neither of those. I'll miss him.

12/2/2016 3:01:29 PM

Quote :

"We live in a world of shitheels and dogfuckers, and to me, he was neither of those"

i hope people say this about me when i die.

12/2/2016 3:05:25 PM

I was not invited to give the eulogy.

12/2/2016 3:10:14 PM

ok, so the last few posts are kind of redeeming. thanks for sharing sawahash and I am sorry for your loss. He seemed like a really good person with a great sense of humor and he actively posted here, which says a lot about his mental fortitude

[Edited on December 2, 2016 at 3:11 PM. Reason : .]

12/2/2016 3:10:52 PM

Man, I hate logging on after years to find shit like this. RIP Saps, I loved hanging out with him back in the day.

12/17/2016 2:44:51 PM

^holy shiiiit, spottings

12/17/2016 11:15:25 PM

[Edited on February 21, 2017 at 4:18 PM. Reason : rip]

2/21/2017 4:17:42 PM

so, what had happun was...?

2/22/2017 2:44:44 AM

Death by Awesomeness

2/22/2017 8:31:53 AM

^^^I took that picture

2/23/2017 4:51:03 PM

I heard it was an accident involving a microwave.

2/24/2017 5:51:38 AM

lol @ the prominently displayed VHS tapes

2/27/2017 4:03:35 PM

except that it looks like Fast Times, which is one of the greatest, so I can see now why they're proudly displayed

2/27/2017 4:04:11 PM

I miss Jason. I hate that he is gone. I don't want to sound weird, but sometimes I feel his presence. Part of that feeling really pisses me off. There were so many times I had to fuss and cuss and tell him off getting him to stop drunkenly calling me at 2 am. He pissed me off so much.

But...He also would let me call him and vent. He would listen to me and give me great advice. He would let me have those stupid political and/or religious conversations. He would listen and play devil's advocate. I hated it, but he would sometimes talk some sense into me.

Even after we broke up, he always had a special place in my heart, there are 3 people that hold that position in my heart (obviously the largest piece of my heart goes to my fiance that I am going to marry in 4 days). He will always hold that piece of my heart. He was the first person that I seriously considered marrying. There was a point in my life where I loved him. I loved his mom (she is an amazing person, btw). However, we just weren't meant to be.

I like to compare our relationship to a Venn Diagram. At the beginning, I put all the effort into the relationship. I would do anything for him. He could call me at 3 am and I would come running. I would do anything to keep our relationship alive. His roommates "joked" that I needed to start paying rent. He always made comments about how he wanted to make me a better person. Then there was a time in our relationship where things were amazing. He finally started to respect and appreciate me as a partner in life. Unfortnately, I think the age difference became a factor for me (he was 9 years older tham me), and I wanted to venture out and have the experiences that 21 year olds get to have. I hated when he made the comment "I did that when I was your age and I'm over it now." It drove me crazy. I wanted to get those experiences and I felt that he was holding me back.

We had a horrible messy break up. His friends, my friends, and I'm sure many of you can attest to that. But he was always a constant in my life, good or bad. He was there.

Right before he died, our relationship was on the upward turn. We were becoming friends again (granted, I knew we would end up fighting again and I would have to restrict our contact again for a while).

Right now, I know it's weird, but I kinda wish I could call him and talk to him about the fact that I'm getting married in 4 days. I wish that I could get some backhanded advice. Part of me feels like talking to him would help settle my nerves.

I hate that Jason is gone.

7/25/2018 4:13:08 AM

If I knew saps852 at all, which I didn't, I can confidently say that he will haunt your soon-to-be husband.

7/25/2018 11:24:06 AM

RIP

I think I actually met him way back in the days when I was still RD

my memory is very fuzzy, but I'm p sure I must have been to at least a couple of the same parties

11/20/2022 2:14:10 PM