4

6/2/2009 1:44:12 PM

Homer-

“Ohhh look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic...”

6/2/2009 1:58:30 PM

haven't read through the thread, but this is my favorite scene ever:

Tall Man: Do you find something comical about my appearance when I am driving my automobile?
Nelson: Yes.
Tall Man: Everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall.
[points to his Beetle]
Tall Man: This was the largest auto I could afford. Should I therefore be made the subject of fun, huh?
Nelson: I guess so.
Tall Man: [clears his throat] Would you like it if others laughed at YOUR misfortune, hmm? Maybe we should find out!
Tall Man: [Tall man pulls down Nelson's pants and commands him to walk down the main street] Nowwww march!
Tall Man: [honks his car horn while driving behind Nelson] Hey, everyone! Look at this; it's that boy who laughs at everyone! Let's laugh at him!
[the entire crowd yells HA-HA! at Nelson]

6/2/2009 2:01:11 PM

wave to the people... blow them kisses!

6/2/2009 2:10:18 PM

i have no idea why IMDB didn't have that included in their quote, it's probably my favorite part

i totally didn't notice it wasn't there

6/2/2009 2:11:52 PM

Wiggum

"sure lady, liquor store robbery, officer down"

6/2/2009 2:48:29 PM

Bart: Cheer up, Mom. You can't buy publicity like that. Thousands and
thousands of people saw your pretzels injuring Whitey Ford!

Homer: You could call them Whitey-Whackers.

6/2/2009 3:35:21 PM

Wiggum to Marge: "Sorry, the law is powerless to help you"

Marge (later, while being arrested) to Wiggum: "I thought the you said the law is powerless"

Wiggum: "Powerless to help you, not to punish you....Take her away boys"

6/2/2009 3:42:55 PM

"Can't you people solve these problems yourselves? I mean we can't be 'policing' the whole city."

6/2/2009 3:54:31 PM

Comic book guy: I can't drive 55, because it only goes 38.

6/2/2009 4:06:59 PM

Quote :

"Wiggum to Marge: "Sorry, the law is powerless to help you" Marge (later, while being arrested) to Wiggum: "I thought the you said the law is powerless" Wiggum: "Powerless to help you, not to punish you....Take her away boys""

From that episode:

Wiggum: Well, not dead -- dying.
[Marge gets up to leave]
No, no, no, no. Don't walk away. How about this: just show me the
knife ... in your back.
[Marge leaves]
Not too deep, but it should be able to stand by itself.

6/2/2009 4:17:31 PM

Homer: Lets just say is like a drug, but what was more like a drug was the drugs.

6/2/2009 6:12:57 PM

Watched that Behind The Laughter one last night, the narrator quotes had me rolling.

"The Simpsons' TV show started out on a wing and a prayer. But now the wing was on fire, and the prayer had been answered...by Satan."

"Would Willie's fence-mending eggs bear fruit? Or would his olive branch be torn apart by woodpeckers of mistrust? That night, fate wore a cummerbund...of suspense."

6/3/2009 7:05:43 AM

mmmmmmmmm 64 slices of American cheese

6/3/2009 7:43:54 AM

i hate every ape i seeeee....from chim-pan-AAA to chim-pan-ZEEE

6/3/2009 2:27:33 PM

Homer: Kids don't beat me I beat kids
Marge: And nobody does it better

American Coast Guard Captain: Back off Canadians we got it
Canadian Coast Guard Captain: You back off you hosiers you're in Canadian waters ehhh
American Coast Guard Captain: Beat it you puck slapping maple suckers
Canadian Coast Guard Captain: Take a hike you Shattner stealing mexico touchers


[Edited on June 3, 2009 at 6:22 PM. Reason : ,]

6/3/2009 6:18:00 PM

Pieman: I'm not your father little girl! I...murdered your father...
Lisa: Dad, I know it's you.

6/3/2009 9:13:04 PM

Homer: I didn't raise him to be a quitter. It must have been you. You quit every job you've ever had. Cop, pretzel vendor, church counselor, professional gambler.
Marge: He's doing what he thinks is best.
Homer: Well, if quitting is the best, maybe I should just quit my job! [Homer walks over to the phone and dials Mr. Burns' number.]
Mr. Burns: Ahoy hoy?
Homer: Mr. Burns? This is Homer J. Simpson, the father of the big quitter! Well, I just wanted to tell you I'm a big quitter, too! And I quit! [Homer winks twice.]
Marge: Homer, Mr. Burns can't see you winking.
Homer: So-- [screams, hangs up phone.]

Marge: He's going to need, uh... you know, protection.
Cashier: Sure... one helmet coming up.
Marge: I was thinking more of... protection... down there (points down).
Cashier: Oh, why didn't you say so? Kneepads. You got it.
Marge: [very nervous laugh] I'm talking about his [mumbled] personal area.
Cashier: Ah ha. Say no more. I read you loud and clear. The old shoulder pads.
Marge: Look... I want a cup.
Cashier: Cup? Could you spell that.
Marge: C-U-P. I wanna C-U... oh my God!

[Edited on June 3, 2009 at 9:43 PM. Reason : I WANNA SEE YOU PEE HAHAHA]

6/3/2009 9:42:16 PM

Grimes: You idiot! You nearly drank a beaker full of sulfuric acid!
Homer: Acid, eh? Gee, that would have been stupid! Boy, would my face have been red! [laughs]
Grimes: Stop laughing, you imbecile! Don’t you realize how close you just came to killing yourself?!

6/3/2009 9:53:30 PM

Bake him away, toys!

Homer: I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders... my friend!
Lenny: What did he say?
Carl: I dunno. Something about being gay.

Lenny: Wow! Homer must have got one of those robot cars!
(Car crashes in background)
Carl: Yeah, one of those AMERICAN robot cars.

Lenny: There's nothing like revenge for getting back at people.
Carl: Vengeance isn't too bad either.

Carl: Lenny - sending some outgoing mail?
Lenny: You know it!
Carl: Yeah, I think I'll send some tomorrow.
Lenny: I hear that!
(awkward silence, both walk away)

[Edited on June 3, 2009 at 10:03 PM. Reason : Carl n' Lenny]

6/3/2009 9:56:53 PM

Marge: Well, I don't think they'll be that easy to lose. These are professional lawmen, and --
[Ruth turns the car's lights off]
Wiggum: Oh my God! It just disappeared. It's a ghost-car! [slams on the brakes] There are ghost-cars all over these highways, you know.
Homer: Hold me.
Wiggum: Only if you hold me.

6/3/2009 10:40:15 PM

2 great scenes from "Homer the Vigilante"

Homer: So I said to him, "Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we
got here. And as for your Grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed
off like that!"
Lisa: Dad, don't you see you're abusing your power like all vigilantes?
I mean, if you're the police, who will police the police?
Homer: I dunno. Coast Guard?

And

Marge: Homer, wasn't the whole point to catch the Cat Burglar?
Lisa: And I still don't have my saxophone.
Homer: Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back. But
we've also expanded into other important areas. [reads a list]
Literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world
domination --
Lisa: World domination?
Homer: Oh ho, heh, that might be a typo. [thinks] Mental note: the girl knows too much.

6/5/2009 11:51:08 AM

TOMACCOOOOOOOOOOO

6/5/2009 11:53:50 AM

man, there was a good one last night and now i can't remember it

6/5/2009 11:56:10 AM

Bloodbath and Beyond

6/5/2009 1:18:57 PM

Mayor Quimby: I hereby declare a state of emergency: Code Black.
Lenny: Black? That's the worst color there is.
Lenny: No offense there, Carl.
Carl: I get it all the time.

6/5/2009 1:57:50 PM

Doctor: Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
Mr. Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?!
Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have thousands of diseases that have just been discovered, in you.
Mr. Burns: You're sure you haven't just made thousands of mistakes?

6/5/2009 2:30:56 PM

Quimby:"I admit I used the town treasury to fund the murder of my enemies....but as Gabbo would say, Im a bad wittle boy"

6/5/2009 3:33:40 PM

Bart (reading note): "The tooth fairy has made a donation in your name to the United Way. That gossamer witch!"

that one cracked me up the other day

6/7/2009 12:17:12 PM

OMG!! Nerd overload!



[Edited on June 7, 2009 at 4:02 PM. Reason : high res]

6/7/2009 3:59:29 PM

Who's the redhead at the bottom supposed to be?

Looks kind of like Barbara Gordon but they already have Batgirl

The only other guy I don't recognize is the blond guy in the pink robe. And I recognize the purple guy with the green helmet, but I don't know where it's from.

6/7/2009 4:26:00 PM

robe guy is ozymandias from the watchmen i think, chick at the bottom... elektra maybe?

[Edited on June 7, 2009 at 4:43 PM. Reason : .]

6/7/2009 4:41:20 PM

I was thinkin mary jane

6/7/2009 4:54:03 PM

^^^jean grey?

6/7/2009 5:10:45 PM

Jean Grey is already there, 2nd row from the top, on the right half

[Edited on June 7, 2009 at 5:13 PM. Reason : Between Rhino and Colbert]

6/7/2009 5:12:42 PM

It could be Mary Jane, but I was confused because IIRC Barbara Gordon was always drawn with those same clothes in Batman: TAS.

[Edited on June 7, 2009 at 5:16 PM. Reason : Right about ozymandias. I've never actually read the watchmen, just recognize most of them]

6/7/2009 5:15:28 PM

according to the artist, its mary jane. here's the guy's website:
http://springfieldpunx.blogspot.com/

hahaha:


[Edited on June 7, 2009 at 5:24 PM. Reason : .]

6/7/2009 5:21:59 PM

from when homer makes Ned a dating video


Homer: So if you're tired of dating the same old losers ... [camera shot of Lenny and Carl]
Carl: What are you doing, Homer?
Homer:... step up to the best. [shot of Ned's muscular chest]
Ned Flanders, the man with the chest.

6/7/2009 5:42:54 PM

"Did you know the hole's only natural enemy is the pile?"

That one gets me every time.

And the episode where Homer predicts the Rapture is full of good ones.

"In a world gone mad, only a lunatic is truly insane."

6/10/2009 10:14:12 AM

cant remember the episode, but Homer thinks he's arguing with Ned and it goes something like:

Homer: I'm gonna do it JUST to see the look on your face...
Ned smiles warmly.
Homer: THAT's the one.

6/16/2009 8:02:20 AM

Homer: Homer's Oddyssey....hmmm is this about that minivan I rented?

6/20/2009 9:19:49 PM

Homer(Looking upward): Why do you Mock me oh lord!?!?!?
Marge(unsticking a waffle from the ceiling): Homer, that's not God, that's a waffle you threw up there yesterday!
Homereating the waffle): MMMMMM Sacroliscous!

6/20/2009 11:27:03 PM

Marge: Homer the Lord only asks you for an hour a week.
Homer: Then he should have made the week an hour longer....lousy God.

6/20/2009 11:31:23 PM

Homer:
There once was a rapping tomato
That's right, I said "rapping tomato"
He rapped all day
From April to May
And also, guess what, it was me.

6/22/2009 11:05:45 PM

Remember that time I let the escaped psychopath into the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus, well thats nothing because yooooou have a gambling problem.

6/26/2009 3:47:33 AM

Upon the destruction of Kentucky Fried Panda:

Homer: "It was finger Ling-Ling good!"

also, LOL at tobias in that pic up there

6/26/2009 3:59:43 AM

not a quote but it's the moment that made me laugh the most:

The slow-mo scene when homer is hacking at the yum-yum fish using a board with nails in it, all the while "At Last" is playing in the background.

oh yeah, and

"elmo knows where you live"

6/26/2009 8:22:46 AM

How Homer learned about sex:

Homer: Zoo-keeper zoo-keeper those monkeys are killing each other!

Zoo-keeper: No, they're having sex

6/26/2009 10:45:10 AM

The zookeeper didn't say that, he just whispered in Homer's ear. Then Homer said "Ohhhh.....".

6/26/2009 1:00:22 PM

set em up

6/26/2009 1:03:55 PM