another time in high school my friend aaron's parents were out of town for the weekend so he threw this ridiculous party with kegs and shit and tons of peopleproblem was, his house was in this neighborhood where the houses were all close together and everyone was being loud as fucksure enough the cops come and start handing out drinking tickets to EVERYONEi managed to sneak out the back door and i got on my back and rolled commando style down the hill in his backyard into a ditch and then ran into the woods2 of my friends already did the same and we all hid out in the woods for HOURS until 6 in the morningwe were the only 3 people that night to escape getting drinking tickets
11/22/2008 5:45:35 AM
we were all pretending to fart in my 3rd grade class when the teacher was reading to us once...then I let out a pretty good real fart...she sent me outside to sit in the hallway
11/22/2008 7:30:54 AM
3rd grade:One day during lunch, I was innocently lifting raisins with my straw from one section of my tray to another (with my finger over one end of the straw to create a vacuum.) The previous day during lunch, some other boys at my lunch table were shooting spitballs through straws, but never got caught despite complaints from spitball victims. Upon witnessing my raisin lifting, my teacher stormed over, snatched me out of my seat, and scolded me for allegedly shooting spitballs. I cried and declared my innocence, but my parents were called in from work, and I spent the rest of the day with them in the principals office. I have maintained my innocence, but it wasn't until high school when my parents finally believed that I'd been telling the truth all this time.4th grade:One day during class, I was not-so-innocently attempting to jokingly fool a girl sitting next to me into believing that I was cutting her hair. Holding a pair of scissors a few inches behind her head, I open and closed them making scissor noises and she freaking flipped out. Needless to say, my teacher, who believed that I had cut the girl's hair, grabbed me (by the ear!) and practically dragged me to the principals office to again, that's right, wait for my parents to show up from being called in from work. Again, I cried and repeatedly declared my innocence, but to no avail. And again, I was severely punished for something I had not done.Other similar, but more severe injustices in 7th and 11th grade eventually led me to lose all respect for law and authority. I decided, despite my good grades, functional family, and participation in boy scouts and church, that a life of crime was the only way for me. I committed many offenses (theft, property damage, trespassing, fake id, drug dealing, etc.) all before I was 18 years old, and never got caught. Having a nearly perfect attendance and a (weighted) 4.0 4-year GPA, no one suspected a thing. I moved on to college, ready and willing to continue to live a double-life of crime and virtue. It was then that I was introduced to libertarianism. I almost instantly realized that I could have hope--that I didn't have to be a criminal. I found a feeling of love and acceptance coming from an entire community of responsible liberty-and-justice-loving individuals that I had never felt before. This feeling didn't come from school, church, scouts, my family or from anywhere else, but simply from the grand idea of liberty and justice. The feelings of love and acceptance destroyed the criminal in me. I broke my connections to the criminals I had been associating with. I even made secret restitution to some theft victims. Ever since then, I've voted libertarian, and likely always will. "Liberty and Justice For All" saved my life.[/serious cat]
11/22/2008 9:15:53 AM
your first two stories need the theme from Curb
11/22/2008 9:27:56 AM
11/22/2008 9:55:59 AM
moar stoaries
11/22/2008 6:06:11 PM
^^^^ and then, when you get out of college, get a real job, join the real world and functional society, you'll realize libertarianism is just a silly club for somewhat-intelligent-yet-socially-stunted manchildren.seriously... put down the Ayn Rand books and give the beret to goodwill.[Edited on November 22, 2008 at 6:07 PM. Reason : ]
11/22/2008 6:06:17 PM
^ lol
11/22/2008 6:08:25 PM
11/22/2008 6:33:01 PM
11/22/2008 6:38:45 PM
honestly reading this thread makes it obvious why so many people are fucked up now a daysi didnt ever have any of the weird ass shit yall are posting...glad i grew up in a fairly small town but not too small]
11/22/2008 6:41:06 PM
also in 6th grade this guy traded a pokemon card for a tear gas gun at school, then tried to hide the gun in his afro under a hat when a teacher heard about it.
11/22/2008 6:45:27 PM
In 1st grade I wrote "I like big butts and I cannot lie" on a piece of paper. Teacher found it and I got sent to the principals office.
11/22/2008 6:49:21 PM
Stories like this are why I refuse to substitute teach at the middle and high schools. I was the kid who always seemed super shy and sweet, and because I did well in classes and genuinely liked my teachers, I got away with everything bad that I did. I regularly skipped class and hung out in the Agriculture shop where no one else looked, but never got busted for it. I didn't drink, smoke, or do drugs myself, but everyone in my social circle knew they could bring that stuff to me to hide in my locker during the day because no one would ever search mine.The only time I ever got in trouble was over bringing my cd player to school after my principal banned them. I only used it at lunch time outside on the quad, and decided that it was completely unfair for my right to listen to music instead of talk to the other fuckhead students to be taken away, so I kept bringing it and listening to it every day. For a while it was confiscated every day, so my mom would have to pick it up from the principal's office when she picked me up after school every day. Then after a while I got really good at hiding it, which is why I always tell the kids at the high school when I sub that there's no way they can come up with a way to hide their phone or ipod from me that I haven't done before.Also, that principal who kept taking my cd player is my boss now.
11/22/2008 7:12:01 PM
BUMP4qualitythread
11/23/2008 1:03:10 AM
11/23/2008 1:12:45 AM
i love it when we go into our "fuck it" mindset and just proceed to make situations worse...the ultimate badass kid reminds me of some interactions i've had with the parents
11/23/2008 7:03:43 AM
^^Don't worry, I'm not. I mean, why would I? Look at his post. He makes an incorrect prediction about the nature of my getting a "real job" in the "real world", except he states it as a fact. He, there, is making a prejudiced generalization. (No one has a crystal ball.) I, in fact, experienced a strengthening of my love of liberty and justice upon getting my first job, and suffering through my first couple years in the real world. So, I don't really know what he's talking about, and since he said it with such arrogance, and since it reeks of intolerant partisanship and childish name-calling, I'm don't really want to know. I've heard of Ayn Rand, (joe_schmoe must have seen me in his crystal ball reading her books,) but I don't get the beret reference. It's obviously another of joe_schmoe's bigoted stereotypes about those whom identify as libertarian.All in all, I'm not the least bit upset over what he posted. In fact, I'm grateful. You see, now I know he (at least currently,) is a bigot, and now I won't make the mistake of holding any other of his posts in much regard. Thanks, joe.[Edited on November 23, 2008 at 8:31 AM. Reason : ,]
11/23/2008 8:30:05 AM
My stories aren't that great but I have a few as a kid and now working in schools:In 6th grade our teacher went out of the room and we all got up to talk. One guy who had just moved to our town was doing his homework and I put my hand on his desk. He thought I was gonna snatch his homework, so he grabbed my hand and bit the hell out of me. In middle school. WTFIn 7th grade my favorite teacher was named Mr. Blowe. He was an older guy who was getting re-married. I asked him in the hall one day if his fiance was named Anita.In 8th grade I jerked off during class at my desk. Nobody knew. I think I had just learned about tugging one out.In 10th, I was sitting next to the other French Horn player in band class. He whipped out his dick and showed the chick who played Bassoon next to him and asked, "You wanna get in on this?" She narced on him and he got detention.In 11th on a band trip I got in trouble for flipping the other bus off. The director saw us do it. On another trip somebody put a sign on the back of the bus that said "Help Us Bomb Onboard!" Somebody called the cops and the bus got pulled.In 12th I got accused of trying to force the fat Trombone girl to blow me in class. That wouldn't be fucking obvious in the band room. She tried to get me in trouble, but that didn't work.On a band trip in 12th, I fingered a freshman on the bus trip in the middle of the morning and played with her huge titties. Also in 12th grade after school but before band practice it was pouring down rain. The marching band practiced on a football field that had a baseball diamond on it. It was right next to central office too. I decided it would be hilarious to take my 4WD Dakota through the infield and do doughnuts. One other classmate thought it would be even funnier to try to follow me in his old ass Celebrity. He got stuck and I fucking rolled out on him and went to a carwash and blew the mud off my truck. He didn't get suspended, but had to spend the weekend leveling the field and fixing it all up. They never knew I blew through that thing several times.For our senior prank we destroyed the old building that was about to be demolished. The superintendents daughter was in our class and got a key and unlocked the place. I didn't participate but I had my first class in their the next day where we had a state EOG to do. The classroom that we were to test in was the worst. I stepped into the room and my shoe stuck to the piss covered floor. And the SMELL about knocked me over. Later found out half my class was involved and took fish bait that sat out for 6 weeks and threw it all in the cabinets. They kicked open the door, pissed all over the place, and jammed paper clips in the doors so she couldn't open it. The teacher was from Englad and was supposed to do 2 years, but left after that and never came back. The rest of the place was a wreck, and several classmates said they thought the place was on fire because they shot the fire extinguishers all up and down the hallways, painted the halls, floors, lockers, and generally turned that place into a wasteland.My freshman year at State I went on a trip to see my brother play in a band competition. My parents drove the equipment truck so the band director let me ride the bus. On the way back one girl that I barely knew offered to blow me right there. I turned it down because she was like 14, my recent ex-g/f was in the row right behind us, and she was a slut who had herpes. Just was trying to piss of her b/f.This month at the elementary school we had two kids get in a fight over the election. The black student got mad that Obama won the mock election where the kids voted at school, and after school he attacked a kid that voted for McCain. One of the teachers saw him choke the kid and then throw him on the ground in the mud. When the boy came to explain it, he said that he gently put his hands around his neck and slowly laid him on the ground. DID YA?? Haha[Edited on November 23, 2008 at 11:08 AM. Reason : ]
11/23/2008 11:06:00 AM
when u said destroyed, i thought you mean you blew it up before the demolition team could do their jobIn K-2, my grandma was one of the lunchladies, so i got hooked up on a daily basis
11/23/2008 11:11:35 AM
i was in 11th grade english (or whenever the first austin powers was out).. well i had a sticker on my shirt on my chest area, and someone asked what it said (it said im dead sexy).. so i grabbed my shirt, and it happened to be like where my nipples are and i said "im dead sexy".. well the teacher got heated. she booted me outa class. i was soo damn confused on why i was kicked out. so she came out pissed and i told her i have no clue what is going on, she said that i was twisting my nipples at her (like the fat guy in austin powers)... man i felt so odd. i tried to explain that i just happened to grab my shirt there to show someone the sticker. we kinda never talked about it. i would of hit it though
11/23/2008 11:13:34 AM
in 8th grade, i wore a shirt that my sister bought me in new zealand that had a picture of a shepherd and two sheep...the shepherd had a quote of saying "Where in the flock have you been??" and one of my teachers saw it and completely didn't understand it, taking it literally
11/23/2008 11:16:30 AM
hahai had one of those keychain bullets in 6th grade. it was a real bullet, (no gunpowder or anything).. and a teacher saw it and tried to get me suspended.it never happened. i explained that other teachers have seen it and have commented on how cool it was.same 6th grade we had a kid just walk into our class, pick up a chair and throw it at our teacher and he just ran out. he got suspended for a year.same 6th grade this kid i knew put our teachers grades disk in my bookbag without me knowing. i got home and i found this 3.5 disk and was like WTH is this.. i was scared thinkin i stole it. so i tossed it in the sewers.the next day the kid came up to me and said he needed the disk back because he got in trouble for it, well i told him i tossed it away and he started crying... then he told the principal what happened. they tried to get me suspended for 2 days for having part in it. so i was at home and was about to start my 2 day susp. and the princ. called and said i dont have to be susp. because i had nothing to do with it
11/23/2008 11:24:53 AM
in 7th grade i had one of those Talkboy pens. One of my friends wanted to mess around with it and during class he accidentally hit the button that makes a sound of a phone ringing. A few people in the class laughed (they were aware of the pen) and the teacher was like "C'mon guys, someone down the hall is getting a phone call...you have all heard a phone ring before..."
11/23/2008 11:26:52 AM
THIS ONE TIME, AT BAND CAMPwe would have band camp at ECU, staying in some of their suite-style dorms. Some of my friends in another suite brought a bunch of baby powder and had a huge baby powder fight in their suite. At the end of the fight, there was so much powder in the air that the smoke alarm for the suite went off, and triggered the rest of the alarms for the entire building (or even other buildings). This was pretty late at night, and we all had to evacuate the buildings. A lot of the girls came out in towels because they had been taking showers at the time. The guys got in a lot of trouble, but I think all they had to do was run a ton of laps and do a lot of pushups.
11/23/2008 11:47:18 AM
i never knew what actually set off smoke detectors, but i never would have thought baby powder could do it
11/23/2008 11:50:05 AM
It was really fucking cloudy, lol. Of course, these detectors would allegedly go off from the shower steam if you left the bathroom door open long enough.
11/23/2008 11:51:38 AM
11/23/2008 12:30:59 PM
In sixth grade I had this ex-marine social studies/PE teacher who disliked me for some reason. He was always calling me out for talking (or whathaveyou) when everyone else was doing it...like if he left the classroom for a minute and came back and everyone was chattering, he'd single me out and yell at me drill-instructor style. Well one day this happened and I was pissed, so I told him to "fuck off." He about had a conniption, and seriously told me to drop in the isle and give him 20. Obviously I didn't, and he picked up his phone and said "Give me your mother's phone number, I will not have this disobedience in my classroom." My mother was a dispatcher for the local PD at the time, so I (very smugly) told him "911." He dropped his phone and started walking towards me with that "I'm gonna murder you you little shit" look on his face, when a friend of mine piped up and said "Actually, sir, his mom works at the police station."The look on his face was priceless. I guess for fear of being disciplined for his classroom anger, he dropped it completely and never looked me square in the eye again. Then there was the time in 8th grade AG I got blamed for this really-chubby-but-somehow-vain-and-popular girl's fart. I got made fun of for weeks for that, and I did everything I could to make her life hell. Then there was this scrawny black kid in 7th grade that used to always flick me in the back of the head any chance he got. It pissed me off to no end, but I never did anything about it because we were basically polar opposites on the size scale and that'd look bad. He did it in the weight room one day and I told him if he did it again I was going to kick his ass. On the way downstairs after class he ran past me, flicked the back of my head, and took of running. Somehow, in the middle of a class change when the hallways are packed with people I chased this kid down, knocked him on the floor and got a few good punches to the face in before I was pulled off him. I went to the principals office and they called my mom in. The principal asked me to tell my mother why I was being so disruptive and violent...I looked at her and said all straight-faced "He fucking deserved it." She busted out laughing, I got three days ISS and when I went back to class I got an ovation. Everyone hated that kidThen there was the new yankee 5th grader (I was in 4th) that thought he was the shit, and came up and took the soccer ball my friends and I were playing with because he wanted it. When he wouldn't give it back, I used a wrestling move on him designed to take a man from standing straight to his back. Well, either through error on my part or him not having any idea how to take a fall, he broke his fall to the floor with his forehead and he was unconscious for a good two minutes. He had a hilariously HUGE goose-egg on his forehead for a while after that, but we actually got to be friends. Then there was the time I got in a fight with a kid at lunch because he threw a mustard-covered grape in my sweet tea. I had saved my nickels for a week to be able to buy that tea, that shit was worth its weight in gold!Then there were the pissing contests at the urinal troughs, those never ended well. man, looking back I got in a lot of fights. There's a lot more but I think I've typed enough wordsanyway, tl;dr$1
11/23/2008 1:20:29 PM
11/23/2008 1:49:33 PM
11/23/2008 1:57:02 PM
In 10th grade, I threw up a bunch of water right beside the trashcan. I didn't make it to the hall with the can in time. Everybody had to walk past it on the way to lunch. The teacher for that class, who also taught psychology, was hilarious, and she was always cracking jokes about stuff. Every semester since then, she's told the story of the kid who puked in her class. When my brother came through a few years later, she of course, told his class about my incident. I find it amusing that all of my brother's friends know who I am, just because of that.
11/24/2008 1:03:36 PM
My 10th grade spanish teacher was one of the biggest idiots alive, we used to mess with her so much. She would always let us pack up and line up with about 5 minutes left in class. We used to have fire drills like once a week due to construction or some shit so everytime we had a fire drill someone would either stay behind or get to the classroom first to move the clock forward. There were days we were standing up for like 15 minutes because she thought the bell was about to ring.We also used to unplug the overhead. We would pull it out just enough that it would turn off, but she became convinced that it was broken and would make someone go get one from another classroom. There was one day we had like 3 or 4 overheads in the room.
11/24/2008 1:14:47 PM
11/24/2008 1:33:40 PM
^^hahaha we did the same things to my 9th grade span. teacher...that's weird also, my 11th grade math teacher was the dumbest person ive ever met (his first, and last, year teaching at my school). He was also an asshole and a bitch. I am an absolute mathematical idiot. I've always done well in all my other subjects, but math is like kryptonite for me. Anyway, i corrected him on multiple occasions where he wrote his answers on the board. Adding to that, we took over the class and ridiculed him so bad that he refused to come back the next year. I failed every test (one every 2 weeks or so) except for the first one, most with a grade of 55 or less. I showed up for after school tutoring one day and he honestly pleaded with me to stop teasing him in class and to stop my friends from doing so as well. I agreed and then he acted like a hardass and told me i would never pass and all this other shit. I taught the entire curriculum to myself the night before the exam, got an A, passed by 2 points and walked into his classroom the day i checked the grade and said 'I passed bitch!' ('im rich bitch' style). He looked like he wanted to kill me but i laughed and went home.[Edited on November 24, 2008 at 1:37 PM. Reason : arrows]
11/24/2008 1:37:33 PM
In 10th grade biology class, one kid had a universal remote in his bookbag that he programmed to the TV in our classroom. For a couple of weeks he would piss the teacher off by turning on the TV at random points during her lecture, or changing the channel/volume if we were watching a video. She eventually started unplugging it, but whenever she would step out of the room, somebody would always run up and plug it back in, and she wouldn't notice until it turned on without warning again. I don't think she ever figured out quite who was doing it.The biology teacher had issues anyway. All sorts of shit would go on...when we had dissections, usually animal parts would start flying across the room, people would be talking during her lectures or asleep constantly, she put us in groups for our class project and I think every class in the group faked their data without actually doing any experiments...and this was an Honors class, mind you. Eventually, about a month from the end of the year, she wasn't there one morning. The official story was that she was on an extended vacation, but the rumors were that she had a nervous breakdown.Once we got a substitute, the TV business started all over again.
11/24/2008 1:45:29 PM
^^ Where did you go to highschool?
11/24/2008 1:47:12 PM
i had calculus during 1st period junior year. i slept every single morning in there, but i made the best grades in the class. the teacher got fed up with it, but didn't think it was fair to send to to ISS or something because i was acing the stuff without her teaching. so from then on i had to teach the class. she would go over a little theory and then make me get up in front of the class and work and explain the examples for the rest of the period.one class the teacher told me she was going to send me to ISS if i didn't stay awake. i told her i simply couldn't hold my eyes open and i would have to stand up if she wanted me to stay awake. i stood the rest of the class period and had to do it again on several more occasions.senior year i took jumpstart (went to HS until lunch and took 2 classes per semester at a community college). if i didn't want to go to drafting class on friday, i would just leave at lunch on thursday, go to a gas station down the road and buy some food for my drafting teacher, go back to school, give him the food, and be like "i don't think i'll make it friday". he'd just nod and say "see you monday". dbmcknight can attest to this teacher's coolness.history class junior year i slept pretty much every day. the teacher hated it, but he knew he really couldn't say anything because i had an A. sometimes i would just be like "alright beasdawg (his name was mr. beasley), i gotta have a nap" and zonk out on my desk. my friends told me one day after class that while i was asleep that day he walked up and said "look at him. every single day. but what can i do? he makes grades and knows the material."for me, high school mostly consisted of sleeping and slacking off and figuring out ways around doing too much busywork. work was my main extracurricular and it kept me tired. combined with the boredom of unchallenging work, it was all i could do to stay awake during tests.in other words, my high school stories suck.
11/24/2008 1:56:44 PM
i was sleeping in physics one day and mrs. daly, one of the coolest teachers i ever had, shot some compressed air in my ear and scared the shit out of me.another day, in the same class, this guy named hunter was asleep when daly was out of the room. she came back in and went over there and shook him to wake him up. he thought it was me or somebody shaking him and said "stop it, ass". daly just laughed and went up front to start teaching or something.
11/24/2008 1:59:44 PM
11/24/2008 3:16:34 PM
freshman year. "Communications systems" had a teacher who transfered from durham to wake county to teach this class. It was the only class in the basement of the building save from middle school band. 1. Every day i walked in late. and just sat down2. I took quite a few of the computers in this class and re-flashed the bios with the wrong one, therefore making that motherboard useless.3. I took 2 video cameras, 2 digi cams, and countless other crap from the storage room. He put one of my friends in charge of the room, gave him akey and everything.. We went to town. 4. The middle school band teacher used to leave her purse in a file cabinet in the room... We found this one day and subsequently relieved her of ~$1005. The elevator in this building was down the hall. We figured out if you stuck a coat hanger in the door at the right angle and at the same time pried the doors open, you could jam the elevator between floors so that it would only come down at about 1foot per 10 minutes. This would stick people in the elevator for hours. We even did it to the teacher once. 6. We found 2 middleschoolers fucking in the bathroom.. after yelling at them, we dropped about 4 stink bombs over the stall door and then sent our teacher in after them.7. Half the time he would send us out to "video tape" projects. We would go to the parkinglot, go to bojangles or mcdonalds untill right before the period was over and then just tell him we couldnt find anything to video tape.8. We figured out a janitor closet lock was messed up. If you pushed up on the knob and in on the door you could walk right in.10. We used to walk down the hall, jump, and knock the "exit" signs off the ceiling. They never could figure out what kept happening to them until the school had to add a camera in that hallway.11. I brought in my ps2 with san andreas on it to play in class. The whole time i walked around shooting people and telling my teach that i was "communicating with a system"man that was a good class.... We did a worksheet on the last day that was easy. If you did it, you got an A in the class. if not, fail. heh
11/24/2008 3:47:26 PM
In 3rd grade I was constantly confronted by a 5th grade bully. When I told him to leave me alone or else I would tell the principal, he went and told the principal that I was bullying his kindergarten brother. I was suspended for 3 days.
11/24/2008 3:57:16 PM
need moar stories
11/25/2008 11:43:30 AM
^^^ You sir, are a douche.
11/25/2008 11:45:47 AM
^ Yes he is but -
11/25/2008 1:26:41 PM
Troof.
11/25/2008 1:27:22 PM
11/25/2008 1:43:31 PM
7th gradesome douch was crushing me up against a window on the bus one day - pushing with his legs on teh seat across the isle- i got him in the sleeper, gently applied pressure - he passed out, pissed his pants, fell onto the floor and went into convulsions, woke up confused and disoriented.i lawled
11/25/2008 1:45:25 PM
My junior year I was taking physics, and the teacher was a hunting buddy of mine. He was a cool teacher, he would explain a topic in the first 10 minutes of class, then give us an assignment, if we could do it, awesome, if not, he would help. He would frequently leave the classroom to do whatever, and we would normally fuck around. Well, a friend of mine (who was actually on probation at the time) wasn't scared to do anything, and we convinced him to get out the fire extenguisher and discharge it, which he did, with very little convincing required. The teacher from next door immediatly came running in and started chewing us out, when our teacher came back. He was trying very hard to be mad, but he couldn't help from laughing. After class though, he told us that they were gonna check the pressure on the fire extenguisher and somebody was gonna get in trouble, and he said it wasn't gonna be him. So the next day the guy who did it and I stole it during that teachers planning period, drove to hickory to have it recharged and brought it back, *wink wink* without our teacher knowing about it. A couple of weeks later the fire marshall came in, we were all laughing around, joking, cutting up, and as soon as he walked in we all just got deathly quite. He checked the tag, looked kind of confused, then walked back out and we all busted out laughing, it was great.If that teacher ever got mad at me he would just say "everybody knows how bad of a shot I am, it could say on your death certificate 'Mistaken for game'"We built a tator gun in his class...I'm pretty sure they don't do that anymore in school, seems like these days it would be called terrorism
11/25/2008 2:03:44 PM
8th gradeScience teacher makes the class read aloud but they have to stand up to do it. We were reading about volcanoes and i guess for some reason that triggered a massive boner. all while in my gym shorts. Sure enough i got called on to read next and had to stand up and attempt to conceal what i'd done. This did not work well. Funny how you can get sent out for being way too happy in class..
11/25/2008 2:43:28 PM