Today is my son's first day home from school for the summer. I'm perfectly content to let him watch some TV this morning so I can do laundry, especially since the whole family is going swimming this afternoon.

6/7/2011 10:39:22 AM

i can't find my good headphones that cancel out a good bit of office noise. The normal apple ones hurt my ears

6/7/2011 10:46:01 AM

i was reading TheDirty/ncstate yesterday at work before I left and i've been having issues with my mouse double clicking everytime i single click. well apparently i clicked something and it printed roughly 14 pages from The Dirty and they were neatly stacked beside the printer this morning

6/7/2011 10:57:34 AM

My free stock that work gave me won't vest til 2015

6/21/2011 3:51:56 PM

I was at Union Station and grabbing a personal pan cheese pizza from the hut when a "homeless" lady walked up and asked if I would buy her one, sure I said. Two cheese pizzas please. No I want the supreme number one meal. No you get a pizza and a water like I am having. Well I don't want cheese it don't got nothing on it. Fine one supreme, one cheese, and two waters. Damn first world homeless people eating better than me. On her behalf, I am getting ready to go to the Aurora casino when I get off the train and would have blown the cost of her pizza in about twenty seconds of video poker.

6/21/2011 4:05:32 PM

^Whatever happened to "beggars can't be choosers" ?

I would have gotten her a cheese one and if she bitched about it I would have kept it myself and told her not to be so damn picky next time.

6/21/2011 4:12:01 PM

Quote :

"P.S. Eating hummus and other similarly-textured foods (Nutella mmmm) with fingers FTW."

oh that's right, you play with your own asshole too

6/21/2011 4:12:58 PM

^haha

Quote :

"Two cheese pizzas please. No I want the supreme number one meal. No you get a pizza and a water like I am having. Well I don't want cheese it don't got nothing on it. "

Would've been followed by a "Well you're not eating today then."

6/21/2011 4:18:31 PM

For real. Bitch would have gotten nothing from me.

6/21/2011 4:20:58 PM

Yeah, she caught me in a good mood, but maybe some good karma for the casino will come of it.

6/21/2011 4:30:24 PM

bttt

7/2/2011 4:44:12 PM

7/2/2011 4:45:36 PM

My bathing suit is wet and even though the couch is leather, I have to play gran turismo five in the nude.

7/2/2011 4:58:01 PM

My hand isn't fat, its big boned

[Edited on July 2, 2011 at 5:10 PM. Reason : ^^]

7/2/2011 5:09:53 PM

lmao at the domino's tracker comment

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

7/2/2011 7:11:43 PM

I had to pay with my credit card bc the pizza man doesn't take large bills

7/2/2011 10:59:12 PM

^^that one gave me a good chuckle too

7/2/2011 11:01:58 PM

hermit crab webcam is blocking the spot i usually sit my netbook or xoom

7/2/2011 11:17:07 PM

I'm thirsty but don't want to get off the couch

7/2/2011 11:19:56 PM

Flip flop tan lines

7/2/2011 11:29:11 PM

I'm staying over at a friend's parents' house in Jersey so I can't sleep in the nude

7/2/2011 11:50:27 PM

I stick to my nice leather couch when I lay on it without a shirt on.

7/5/2011 10:59:50 PM

My three year old just used a my brand new $7 bottle of shave lotion for dry sensitive skin to wash his hair and decorate the shower.

8/3/2011 8:52:04 AM

3 year olds bathe themselves?

8/3/2011 9:02:00 AM

I hate it when I'm trying to login to a site and you can't just hit enter after typing the password. They make you actually go and click on the login/submit button

8/3/2011 9:48:12 AM

I just got a replacement second screen at work from a coworker leaving. I swapped a 4:3 screen for a 21.5" widescreen. I now have a pair of Acer 21.5" screens on my work desktop, but they are not the same height. I really dislike that my 4 screens are all uneven heights.

8/3/2011 9:58:58 AM

We have to buy a new safe because the old one is overstuffed with money, jewelry and handguns.

I have to go to Magic Kingdom at Disney World for work tomorrow, but it's going to be 95 degrees.

I can't decide between going to St. John or Vail this December.

FML

8/3/2011 10:14:48 AM

i love reading these.



i need to post in here more often

8/3/2011 10:19:24 AM

Quote :

"I forgot to bring my phone with me when I went to poop and I was bored the entire time"

HAHAHA. YES.

or, even better,

Quote :

"I forgot to bring my phone with me when I went to poop and I was bored the entire time had to read PRINT media."

8/3/2011 11:21:28 AM

Just because you have a Jazzy Scooter does not entitle you to park in the handicap parking spaces. You are not handicapped. You are just extremely obese and lazy.

8/3/2011 11:42:38 AM

I was walking my dog a few weeks ago, and we usually walk a mile up the street and then turn around for a two-mile loop. My flip-flop broke at exactly the midpoint, so I had to walk a mile barefoot. But the carpet felt softer than usual when I got home, so there's that.

And then on Friday, I was downtown in DC at a bar for an end-of-season softball party. When I went to the metro to head back home around 1 a.m., I JUST missed a train. I had to wait 20 minutes at Farragut North, which has no AC at the moment.

8/3/2011 12:19:39 PM

I started watching a tv show on netflix instant watch and didn't check to see if all the seasons were available...now I have to wait for the DvDs of the last season

8/3/2011 12:58:58 PM

Quote :

"3 year olds bathe themselves?"

mine does. we just get him started & check behind him.

8/3/2011 1:48:48 PM

I canceled playback on netflix and it wouldn't resume where I left off so I had to fast forward

8/3/2011 1:49:38 PM

most 3 year olds do.


actually, I'd say more like 3 and a half.

[Edited on August 3, 2011 at 1:52 PM. Reason : ...]

8/3/2011 1:50:43 PM

Quote :

"i can't find my good headphones that cancel out a good bit of office noise. The normal apple ones hurt my ears "

getcha some Shure SE115 or Klipsch Image S4 noise-isolating earphones


I got the latter so I could hear my music over my motorcycle and wind noise, great speakers (yes there is a world of a difference between a $100 pro-ish earphone and a $10 set from walmart) and you won't hear jack shit other than the music in your ear. Only time I have to turn them up is at interstate speeds, the roar of the wind finally starts to break through significantly. In an office setting you'll be in your own world.

8/3/2011 2:34:11 PM

Isn't it bad if you are driving and can't hear any external sounds?

8/3/2011 2:58:12 PM

Travel Channel HD was out for a good portion of the day yesterday

8/3/2011 2:59:37 PM

ACCIDENTALLY CLICKING ITUNES!!!!

8/3/2011 3:05:18 PM

^ hahah, I always accidentally open iTunes or Excel grrrrg.

8/3/2011 9:20:22 PM

we have lost the remote to our DVR so now I can't watch any of the shows I've recorded!!!!

8/4/2011 2:45:58 AM

Slept too well now I have 30 mins to burn

8/4/2011 8:03:35 AM

My work computer keeps making beeping noises and I can't figure out why. I would just mute the damn thing but I'm having to watch these dumb Works training videos

8/8/2011 9:19:30 AM

i live close enough to campus that when i come home my laptop still sees (and tries to reconnect to) the campus wifi, but not close enough to actually use that wifi, so i have to manually change to my home network every time.

[Edited on August 19, 2011 at 5:55 PM. Reason : .]

8/19/2011 5:55:21 PM

^Make your home network higher priority. Usually just need to drag it higher in the list in network settings.

8/19/2011 6:32:56 PM

within the last week: my bike broke down ($$$ in progress) and had to push the 800lb beast for ~3.5 miles on the side of the interstate to the next gas station, i got a bag stolen that had my laptop and pistol in it among other important things (~$1200), lost my wallet (~$500 cash + important cards, IDs, and info), all on top of an independently hellish week on each of scholastic, personal, and mental fronts


but hey, i'm still white.

8/19/2011 8:35:58 PM

Quote :

"My work computer keeps making beeping noises and I can't figure out why."

Usually it means you're a girl.

8/19/2011 8:37:33 PM

or built in gaydar

8/19/2011 11:03:16 PM

I just got back from San Diego, but I'm not as tan as I would like to be because it was overcast at the beach

8/20/2011 3:06:00 AM

Air Handler started leaking. Hurry up winter.

8/20/2011 5:21:30 AM